Dammit

For the hell of it, I decided to sign into my MySpace account and while I was looking around at different things, I decided to check my mailbox and I found a message from my friend who died in the car accident and after I read it, I burst into tears. And it didn't help that I was listening to "I Found A Whistle" while I was reading it. And now I can't stop crying. And I am having erratic heartbeats again, where I can feel my heart pause and then start up with a big thump, which is making me even more upset and anxious and making me almost hyperventilate, which is wreaking even more havoc on my heart rate.