Why Am I Wasting My Time?

I swore the last Hannah Swensen book I read would be my last. Yet I decided to check out Cinnamon Roll Murder last night at the library. I see nothing has changed in the series.

The jazz band name- Cinnamon Roll Six? Seriously?

The entire family started irritating me throughout the series and now they are downright obnoxious. Um, isn't Michelle in college? Shouldn't she be in class? And what exactly does Andrea do all damn day that she is never around her kids? Hannah is the worst. She is a judgmental, arrogant, condescending, whiny pain in the ass who needs to get off of her high horse, stop correcting everyone's damn grammar, and start learning some fucking technology. I find it incredibly difficult for someone of her age to never use a computer, especially having a degree in English. How did she get through college? A typewriter? Seriously? Come on, Joanne Fluke, be a little more believable. I honestly think she is completely clueless to the later generations.

In the first few pages, of course the sisters are there to help with the accident. And of course they know exactly what to do. And when they meet the band members and groupies, the sisters are talking with one of the groupies, Lynnette, about checking the driver and this is the passage:

"Did you try to find a pulse?" Michelle asked her.
"Do I look like an idiot? Sure I tried to find a pulse. There wasn't any, and he wasn't breathing, either. I've got some medical training, you know."
Of course you do, Hannah's mind replied. You know how to say "Doctor will see you at ten on Thursday, Mrs. Smith. Please let us know twenty-four hours in advance if you can't keep your appointment.

Seriously, Hannah? Do tell how you know exactly what Lynnette did in the medical office! Maybe she was a medical assistant, who do, in fact, have to be CPR certified in most, if not all, states. And what exactly does Hannah do again? Oh, right. She is a baker! She makes food!

And then the scene in the hospital was just too ridiculous to get into. Buddy couldn't go into the exam room himself? And I had to laugh at two different conversations between Hannah and her mother in the waiting room. This passage was one:

"It was the band bus carrying the Cinnamon Roll Six. The rest of the cars in the accident were blocking the road, and it took the paramedics a while to get to to the bus. Michelle and I took the access road and walked across the ditch. We were the first ones there."
"Oh my!"
"The driver's dead, but everyone else seems to be okay except the keyboard player. He may have a broken wrist, but they won't know for sure until he has X-rays."

This is a page later:

"I know I'm right. And the worst of it is..." Delores stopped speaking and stared hard at Hannah. "You said was. You said the driver's name was Clayton."
It was Hannah's turn to sigh. She'd spoken without thinking, and now she was stuck. There was nothing for it but to tell Delores what she already suspected. "The driver's dead, Mother."

Uhm.....duh? You already told your mother the bus driver died?

Hannah's constant whining about Norman being engaged was beyond irritating. Yes, the situation with Doctor Bev was dirty, but maybe if Hannah didn't drag her feet so bad, she would have been married to Norman a long time ago. How this supposedly ugly technological phobic prude has two boyfriends still boggles my mind. And I find it hard to believe that it took Norman, a fucking professional with a dental degree, so long to get a paternity test. What a dumbass.

And the thing that aggravates me the most in these books is the interfering with cases. Now I read a lot of books where the main character investigates, despite not being a part of the police force. It does irritate me, but if the books are good enough, I can overlook it, because I know it's just fiction. I can even sometimes overlook certain things that would be deemed downright illegal. But these books take the cake. Hannah and her family are ridiculous with how they interfere. And then they have the BALLS to actually steal documents that not one of them should even have legal access to. I don't know how none of them have ever been arrested. Oh right. One of Hannah's boyfriends is a cop. *eyeroll* You would think that would make them more likely to be arrested. But no. Not the perfect little Swensen family. Everything just always turns out perfect for them.

I recently read a few of the Donut Shop Mystery series by Jessica Beck and one thing I noticed when reading reviews of the different books were complaints about them being rip-offs of the Hannah Swensen series. I see some similarities; however, the characters in the Donut Shop Mysteries are a million times more likable. Not to mention......mmmm.....donuts.

Oh, and nice to end the book without ever closing the bus driver's case.