Random Thoughts

Well that was unsurprisingly a quick 3 days off. Quick summer as well. Boo. I was always one to look forward to the end of summer and the start of fall. Now I hate when summer ends. And I think it has to do with 5 years ago when I was going through such a rough time and then ended up being laid off on top of it. My mental state was really not in a good place then and I think I have been subconsciously associating that with fall since then.

I had no one to do anything with last night so I just did my own thing. Went to Popeye's like last time. I was in there with my book and 3 old people. Then I ran to a few stores and came home and at in front of the boob tube and read. It was depressing as fuck. I felt like going and buying a gun and blowing my brains out. Still feeling like that, actually. More so because I have to go back to work. And because of visions of horrible things happening playing nonstop in my head. I swear to God some days when they're really bad I want to take an ice pick and jam it up my fucking nose.

And to make my suicidal thoughts more depressing....it's apparently National Suicide Prevention week. I saw that earlier and thought, Jesus that would be fucking ironic.

I'm beyond frustrated with this bloating and left lower abdominal distention. Every time I put my pants on I want to cry because they feel so tight on me. I'm so disgusted with myself and disgusted with myself for starting to think I'm fat again. I really should go to the doctor and request an abdominal CT scan. That way it could show the digestive system and female organs. An ultrasound wouldn't do much for me unless there is definitely something going on in my women parts.

I bought Nature Made Advanced Dual Action probiotics the other day. I haven't tried them yet, as I am still finishing up the last few of my usual probiotics. I hope they do something good, though.

Anyway, I am currently reading Robopocalypse by Daniel Wilson. I had bought a copy of Amped in the Dollar Tree back in July and I was very interested in it and then I read some reviews on Robo and thought it sounded intestesing, so I checked it out of my local library. I am simultaneously fascinated and freaked out by it. Definitely enforces my belief that technology is great until it malfunctions. It also makes me think of the "Mother's Day" episode of Futurama. Hey Hey! Ho Ho! 100110!

Quote(s) Of The Day

The genius of Waterfall Sr. from "The Birdbot of Ice-Catrez":

Waterfall Sr.: Greetings, Econauts. I'm Free Waterfall Sr., founder of Penguins Unlimited. [The crowd applauds.] Whoa! No, no! No applause. Every time you clap your hands you kill thousands of spores that'll some day form a nutritious fungus. Just show your approval with a mold-friendly thumbs up. [The crowd thumbs-ups.] Please hold your thumbs until the end. Now, folks, it's time to stop that tanker with a non-violent human circle.
Leela: [standing up] Why do we have to resort to non-violence? Can't we just kick their asses?
Waterfall Sr.: Now, little lady, those people's asses are living things too.

Waterfall Sr.: If you're cold, rub your bodies with permafrost. It's nature's long johns. [He picks up some snow, puts his hand down his trousers and rubs it around.] If rubbing frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey, I don't wanna be right!

Waterfall Sr.: Good way to avoid frostbite, folks: Put your hands between your buttocks. That's nature's pocket.
Leela: Uh ... I think I'll go check on Bender.
Waterfall Sr.: Watch that he doesn't pick your pocket.

Waterfall Sr.: Good work, everyone. I suggest you all go get some sleep. Me, well, I'm gonna stay up all night singing songs about penguins in a fine, piercing tenor.

Leela: You can't shoot penguins. Isn't there some way to keep them from breeding?
Waterfall Sr.: Cold showers don't work on Antarctic creatures.

Quote Of The Day

From "Luck of the Fryish": 

[Scene: Flushing Downs Horse d'Oeuvres Outlet.] 
Paper-hatted salesman: [shouting] Get your piping-hot horse burgers, horse fries, horse cake and shakes. We got tongue straight from the horse's mouth.
Leela: Hmm.

Hermes: It all sounds good.

Paper-hatted salesman: All our horses are 100% horse-fed for that double-horse juiced-in goodness.

Leela: I'll have the cholesterol-free omelette with horse beaters.

Paper-hatted salesman: And you, sir, how can I horse you?

Hermes: I'll have a horse coke.

Paper-hatted salesman: Horse Pepsi OK?

Hermes: Nay.

Quote Of The Day

From "Parasites Lost":

Fry-Droid: Your Excellency, have you ever been in love?
Worm Mayor: No. I thought I was once but then I remember our species reproduces with a cloud of spores.

WHY

The past 2 or so weekends, Food Factory hasn't been on on Sunday evenings.

Random Thoughts

I do not understand why Malwarebytes is set to check for updates once every hour on my computer yet certain times it decides to check for updates multiple times in a one hour span. It always happens in the 9PM hour when I am in the midst of listening to music and checking up on certain webpages. And it always, without fail, manages to check for updates when I am in the midst of listening to a really good song and then it gets all distorted because my computer is fucking prehistoric and can't handle that much memory usage.

So it's my birthday. Can't say I feel any different than when I woke up. Got no birthday cake or anything in work. At least all of my coworkers wished me a happy birthday. Everyone that is except my boss. Even when one of my coworkers was standing right next to her and said happy birthday to me, she didn't say anything. Bitch.

I was planning on being as good as possible today. That didn't happen. I had pizza for dinner, then a cookie, and I just ate 2 cupcakes. Two! And then bad eating for the next 2 days! ARGH!

And because I was going to be bad, I decided to get on my bike earlier. And while I was on there, I thought watch, later on when I go to pee, I'll probably start bleeding. I'll give you one guess what I faced a little over an hour later. I don't understand why when I come home from work and exercise, I bleed. Why can I exercise in the morning with no problem? It's so frustrating!

One day last week, my crown decided to remind my brain of its existence, so now I have been obsessing over it breaking or loosening again. Or that one of my real teeth is cracked and worrying that it's going to get infected and I'll need root canal. I am not chewing right and it's giving me pain that only makes my worrying worse. The left side of my jaw is hurting right now and I am all tense that there is an infection brewing inside, although it's more than likely my jaw muscles hurting from grinding and not chewing right.

I hate my teeth so much right now. I can look in my mouth right now and pick out at least 2 teeth that probably need or will need crowns. I'll lose my freaking mind if I have to get more crowns. Why do I even bother taking such good care of my teeth?

Goddamn, I am listening to "The Other Side" by Paul Van Dyk and Wayne Jackson (the Deep Dish remix version) and the bass of it is about to blow my eardrums out. Every time I listen to that song, I think of the Futurama episode "The Sting". I always find that episode incredibly depressing. The song itself is pretty depressing and haunting when you listen to the lyrics. If I recall, Paul wrote the song in response to the South East Asia tsunami, but I am not sure.

Quote Of The Day

From "Law and Oracle": 

Chief O'Mannahan: At ease, cadets. I'll make this short and sweet 'cause I'm PMS-in' like a lumberjack.

Quote Of The Day

From "Parasites Lost":

Bender: Yo, old guy, why do we have to use those tiny micro-droids? Can't you just shrink us?
Farnsworth: Oh, my, no. That would require extremely tiny atoms, and have you priced those lately? I'm not made of money! Leave me alone!

Good GOD

I AM SO OVER THIS PERIMENOPAUSE SHIT

ETA 10:49PM: Took an Ativan sometime before 6. Didn't feel anything, then about 45 minutes ago, I started freaking out and crying and now it feels like it's starting to kick in. The freak out before it kicked in is not a first time thing; several times I have taken them, I freaked out before they kicked in. What the hell is that all about?

YES!

Zombie Restless Arm

Good God No!

CDC confirms first US case of Ebola virus

Fuck This

I am such a snotty wet faced mess right now and I am hot, which is only making everything a hundred times worse. And you would think I would take into consideration that being such an emotional basket case would be a good sign, that it may be PMS and my period will be coming, but no. Instead, I discovered that PMS can apparently worsen during perimenopause, so I am taking that into consideration instead as yet another sign.

I just want an answer. I just want the shit to stop.

I don't know in the hell I am going to make it through the work week. I don't know in the hell I am going to get through anything. All I know is I would like to go to bed and never wake up.

ETA 7/28/14: I am lucky if I got 4 hours of sleep last night. Between the nasty storm we got (holy fuck, the lightening was INSANE; I could see the brightness of it with my eyes closed) and my head, I didn't fall asleep until sometime after 3. I don't understand what in the hell it is about Sunday nights. I worry about this all of the damn time, so why is it only Sunday nights I end up with bad insomnia? I woke up with puffed up eyelids and had bags that had their own bags under my eyes. My eyes were so swollen, I couldn't even get my contacts in. I looked like hell. Well, I always look like hell, but I looked like super hell this morning.

I wanted to call out so bad but I sucked it up and went in. I am not my FWA, you know.

And not trying to sound like an attention seeker, but you know what isn't helping? Getting the silent treatment from my mother or my sister ignoring my texts. I swear, for people who claim they worry so much about me all of the time, I can't help but wonder if anyone would really give a damn if something happened to me.

Yesterday I was going through the pack of coupons we got in the Sunday paper and there was a coupon for $1.00 off 2 packs of Kotex pads, which I use. I ripped it out and then thought, oh shit, like I am really going to buy pads ahead of time now? The last time I purchased pads, I bought 2 packs and when I got out to my car, I cursed myself for buying so many. All I could think was, great, now what if you don't get it ever again after this period?

And then in work earlier, I was organizing a chart and out of curiosity, I started to read through the person's report. And she was at the doctor for.....atrophic vaginitis. The other day, another one was at her doctor because she felt she was going through the change. I just about fucking lost both times. These kinds of medical records have nothing to even do with our doctors! And they both just had to be there for me to see!

8:11PM: Didn't feel like watching Futurama (it was a newer episode and one of the ones where Bender is super obnoxious) and didn't feel like watching Full House (although I don't know why I put it on anymore when my commercial is no longer on) so I put TV Land on to see if Roseanne is still playing at night and there is a commercial on for Estroven. FML.

The WTF Of The Day

In one of my "ovulation bleeding" Google searches, I came across this article and found this bit:

Ovulation spotting is actually considered to be a sign of fertility by many experts.

Quote Of The Day

From one of the greatest Futurama episodes (Roswell That Ends Well):

Farnsworth: Start the ship, Leela. Let's just steal the damn radar dish and get back to our own time. 

Fry: But-- But won't that change history?
Farnsworth: [sarcastic] Oh, a lesson in not changing history from Mr. I'm-My-Own-Grandpa! Let's get the hell out of here already! Screw history!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Having a baby will simplify your life

Quote Of The Day

In honor of Mother's Day, but I couldn't choose just one, so here is the whole damn transcript:

Transcript:Mother's Day

Video Of The Day

I'm not hearing a no.....

Quote Of The Day

From "The Route Of Evil":

Cubert: Hey, Dad. What useless contraption are you half-baking today?
Farnsworth: Eh, wha? Oh! This is my latest invention; a device that lets anyone sound exactly like me!
[Cubert speaks into it.]  
Cubert: [Farnsworth's voice] Good news, everyone! I'm a horse's butt!
Farnsworth: I am? That's not good news at all, you little--

Quote Of The Day

From "Teenage Mutant Leela's Hurdles": 

[Time Lapse. Farnsworth sits down. Fry, Leela and Bender are already eating. Farnsworth gets out his teeth and puts them on the table. Leela covers her eyes in disbelief.]

Leela: Oh, Lord! Teeth do not belong in your pants, Professor.

Farnsworth: Well, I can't keep them in my mouth. They're nuclear-powered!

[He presses a button on a remote control and the teeth start chomping his food. They bite Fry.]

Video Of The Day

One of the best scenes from the newer Futurama episodes:



It's funny because I just thought of this scene earlier and was going to look for it on Youtube. Then I got distracted watching another video and completely forgot about looking for it. Then I just went on and it was under "Recommended Videos".

Also, there was a video recommended to me for a behind the scenes photo-shoot....for Andrew's girlfriend. Really, Youtube? Are you TRYING to make me feel worse about myself?

(I'm kidding, folks. No one can make me feel bad about myself but me. And damn, do I do a fine job of that. But ugh, she's just so....cute and perfect.)