These past 2 nights of lack of sleep are showing. Big time. I am so hostile and cranky I want to punch someone. If I don't get a good night of sleep soon, I am going to scream.
I wish I could just fall asleep and sleep until the weekend. I don't know how I am going to get through the next few days worrying that my period is going to come earlier than expected. I am at my wit's end. I feel awful. I have deep burning cramping across my lower back, pelvic area, and in my legs. I am nauseous, emotional, fatigued beyond belief, bladder spasms, etc.
Now I have a new thing with my eyes itching. They itched last month before it came on but I thought it came from being at the dentist that day. But then it continued for several days. And I can't even tell anyone any of my symptoms because all I get is "it's anxiety!".
Why? Why does the answer to every fucking thing in my life have to be anxiety? Maybe it really is or maybe it really isn't, I don't know. And do people ever stop and realize how it makes me feel to just brush off my concerns? To me it makes me feel like they are just saying it's all in my head. And if I don't get "it's anxiety", I am either ignored or told I need to get help. Yes, because going for help is not only going to definitely solve my problems, but it's going to solve them overnight. And the one place I thought I might be able to get some answers and maybe put at ease didn't help much, just putting the worrying I have vaginal atrophy on the back burner, although at this point I don't think anything could really put my mind at ease.
And if it's not perimenopause, then what the hell could it be? There is no possible way someone can feel this awful before getting her period without some kind of reasoning. My mom is convinced I have PMDD, which could explain a lot of the symptoms I have. Nutritional deficiency? What I still suspect I may have- endometriosis? All I know is I want a fucking answer.
I didn't realize my doctor had prescribed me birth control (she talked about it, but I thought my repeating of "I didn't like how I felt on birth control" would have been enough of a hint) and I never picked up the prescription. I kind of regret it now. But I don't want to go on birth control (unless I am on it for its intended purpose) and have faux hormones control my period. In my state of mind right now, I need to get my period naturally (if that makes sense). Would it be nice to know when I am definitely getting it? Yes. But I need to see when my own body is bringing on my period (if that makes better sense).
I have to go get a tooth filled tomorrow at 6:30PM. I want to cry because I so badly don't want to go. I have to get up early the next 3 days to exercise because I took off yesterday and today. Everything is becoming a real effort for me to do, because not only is my anxiety terrible, but my depression is starting to get bad as well. I have honestly considered going to the hospital a few times, not because I necessarily want to hurt myself (although I won't deny that it does cross my mind more often than not), but because I am tired of all of the shit and just want a rest.
On another note, I am so pissed at the Pretty Little Liars finale! I was finally starting to like Mona!
Also, not trying to rush things, because I honestly don't want summer to end, but I have really been wanting to watch Gar-Halloween-field. And Brain Candy.
Showing posts with label Pretty Little Liars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pretty Little Liars. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
The Stupid Of The Day
ALL THE DARWIN AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Woman Dies in Car Crash While Posting to Facebook About Pharrell's Song 'Happy'
And speaking of stupid.....I've been missing Pretty Little Liars for some reason. Don't know why.
Woman Dies in Car Crash While Posting to Facebook About Pharrell's Song 'Happy'
And speaking of stupid.....I've been missing Pretty Little Liars for some reason. Don't know why.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Ugh
Lisa Robin Kelly Has Died
Aw, I loved her on That 70's Show. Her character was one of the best parts of the show. The faces and snide comments she made were priceless. And then to die while in the midst of getting clean is just ridiculously horrible. These deaths the past 2 days are depressing. I loathe any of the Bachelor or Bachelorette shows, but the suspected suicide of that former Bachelor contestant made me sad.
On another note, I wish someone on ONTD would stop saying that Pretty Little Liars needs more Shay (Mitchell, aka Emily). Every fucking post. Dear God no! If she learns to act, then I will say maybe. Otherwise, hell no. I was so annoyed with her the last episode I watched. In addition to her terrible acting, her girlfriend, Paige, throws her this nice surprise party and Emily breaks up with her there. Now maybe Paige is part of A, I don't know. But Lindsey Shaw will always be Moze to me. Man, I miss that ridiculous show. I also have to say, I was extremely disappointed that Jenna didn't die. I thought for sure that bitch was a goner, but no such luck. Shana needs to GTFO also.
Aw, I loved her on That 70's Show. Her character was one of the best parts of the show. The faces and snide comments she made were priceless. And then to die while in the midst of getting clean is just ridiculously horrible. These deaths the past 2 days are depressing. I loathe any of the Bachelor or Bachelorette shows, but the suspected suicide of that former Bachelor contestant made me sad.
On another note, I wish someone on ONTD would stop saying that Pretty Little Liars needs more Shay (Mitchell, aka Emily). Every fucking post. Dear God no! If she learns to act, then I will say maybe. Otherwise, hell no. I was so annoyed with her the last episode I watched. In addition to her terrible acting, her girlfriend, Paige, throws her this nice surprise party and Emily breaks up with her there. Now maybe Paige is part of A, I don't know. But Lindsey Shaw will always be Moze to me. Man, I miss that ridiculous show. I also have to say, I was extremely disappointed that Jenna didn't die. I thought for sure that bitch was a goner, but no such luck. Shana needs to GTFO also.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Random Thoughts
I am far from a religious person. But somewhere in the deep depths of my rotten evilness, I feel some faith. I don't know if there is a God or not, though. I really don't know what to believe.
Tonight's episode of Family Guy aired on my birthday, and I remember feeling just as annoyed with it as tonight. We get it, Seth- you don't believe in God. I don't understand why he has to be so fucking obnoxious about it. He is just as bad as the obnoxious Bible thumpers he likes to condemn. Can the nativity story be used in comedy? Sure. I thought the Simpsons did the story well and without being tacky. But this....this is just obnoxious.
Also, I am sick of seeing previews for that movie 21 and Over. I feel like brain cells die every time I see commercials for it. Which is about 2 or 3 per commercial break.
I started watching Pretty Little Liars back when it first aired and for a while, I kind of lost interest in it and just had it on for background noise. But now I watch it pretty faithfully, despite how annoying the show can be. Those girls can be so fucking stupid! I've had a girl crush on Lucy Hale since Privileged aired, but Aria can be really annoying. Emily is an awful actor. Hanna is a fucking cow, especially towards her mother. I really can't tolerate how she treats her mother. I have a love/hate for Jenna. Most of the time I can't stand her, but occasionally her bitchiness makes me laugh. Mona is just....my God, that girl is awful at playing a villain. I think I would probably like Mona if someone who could pull of playing a villain played her. The only tolerable person on the show is Spencer. And her breakdown this season is giving me a lady boner of the highest order. I am loving it. And she's absolutely right- why do they care about Alison? Alison was such a frigging bitch. I wish Spencer would just go completely crazy and kill Mona.
I read an article a few years ago about how college is not for everyone and how the trade industry needs people. While I am still not ready to surrender to college not being for me, I have seriously contemplated learning a trade while figuring out what to do with my life. But being a woman in these fields could be a little scary. If I were in a trade where I would have to be sent to houses, I'd be fearful every time I go that someone would try to kill me or rape me or something. Or that people wouldn't trust my judgment, simply because my chromosomes are two X's.
We went to the local diner tonight for dinner and I was set on getting a slice of carrot cake while I was there, even though it is not the best carrot cake. Wouldn't you know they were out of it? Argh! I would much rather have it from somewhere else anyway, but I am still annoyed they were out of it. I don't know who has good carrot cake. The two places I have had really good carrot cake are Jones in Philly and the Metropolitan in the Borgata in Atlantic City. Unfortunately, they are both a bit far, although I wouldn't mind going down Atlantic City right now. Wouldn't mind going to Jones to eat again, either. Their food, especially the carrot cake, was good!
I bet the Cheesecake Factory has good carrot cake. Unfortunately, I am not going to eat a slice of cake that is more calories (over 1500) than I normally eat in a day. The carrot cake cheesecake is good, but I want just plain carrot cake and I don't think it far behind in caloric value. Dammit, I just want a piece of carrot cake! And I still want Popeye's, too!
Tonight's episode of Family Guy aired on my birthday, and I remember feeling just as annoyed with it as tonight. We get it, Seth- you don't believe in God. I don't understand why he has to be so fucking obnoxious about it. He is just as bad as the obnoxious Bible thumpers he likes to condemn. Can the nativity story be used in comedy? Sure. I thought the Simpsons did the story well and without being tacky. But this....this is just obnoxious.
Also, I am sick of seeing previews for that movie 21 and Over. I feel like brain cells die every time I see commercials for it. Which is about 2 or 3 per commercial break.
I started watching Pretty Little Liars back when it first aired and for a while, I kind of lost interest in it and just had it on for background noise. But now I watch it pretty faithfully, despite how annoying the show can be. Those girls can be so fucking stupid! I've had a girl crush on Lucy Hale since Privileged aired, but Aria can be really annoying. Emily is an awful actor. Hanna is a fucking cow, especially towards her mother. I really can't tolerate how she treats her mother. I have a love/hate for Jenna. Most of the time I can't stand her, but occasionally her bitchiness makes me laugh. Mona is just....my God, that girl is awful at playing a villain. I think I would probably like Mona if someone who could pull of playing a villain played her. The only tolerable person on the show is Spencer. And her breakdown this season is giving me a lady boner of the highest order. I am loving it. And she's absolutely right- why do they care about Alison? Alison was such a frigging bitch. I wish Spencer would just go completely crazy and kill Mona.
I read an article a few years ago about how college is not for everyone and how the trade industry needs people. While I am still not ready to surrender to college not being for me, I have seriously contemplated learning a trade while figuring out what to do with my life. But being a woman in these fields could be a little scary. If I were in a trade where I would have to be sent to houses, I'd be fearful every time I go that someone would try to kill me or rape me or something. Or that people wouldn't trust my judgment, simply because my chromosomes are two X's.
We went to the local diner tonight for dinner and I was set on getting a slice of carrot cake while I was there, even though it is not the best carrot cake. Wouldn't you know they were out of it? Argh! I would much rather have it from somewhere else anyway, but I am still annoyed they were out of it. I don't know who has good carrot cake. The two places I have had really good carrot cake are Jones in Philly and the Metropolitan in the Borgata in Atlantic City. Unfortunately, they are both a bit far, although I wouldn't mind going down Atlantic City right now. Wouldn't mind going to Jones to eat again, either. Their food, especially the carrot cake, was good!
I bet the Cheesecake Factory has good carrot cake. Unfortunately, I am not going to eat a slice of cake that is more calories (over 1500) than I normally eat in a day. The carrot cake cheesecake is good, but I want just plain carrot cake and I don't think it far behind in caloric value. Dammit, I just want a piece of carrot cake! And I still want Popeye's, too!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
A Semi-Angry Letter To The Writers Of Pretty Little Liars
Dear Writers Of Pretty Little Liars:
Whether it happened in the book or not- I do not know, for I have not read them- please seriously consider killing off Hanna. She is one of the most annoying characters in the history of TV characters. She is a vapid air-headed little bitch who needs to learn to respect her mother. If A brutally murdered her, I would cheer like I have never cheered at the TV before.
Sincerely,
S-Cubed
Whether it happened in the book or not- I do not know, for I have not read them- please seriously consider killing off Hanna. She is one of the most annoying characters in the history of TV characters. She is a vapid air-headed little bitch who needs to learn to respect her mother. If A brutally murdered her, I would cheer like I have never cheered at the TV before.
Sincerely,
S-Cubed
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