Fuck You Apple

Two Christmases ago I received an iTunes gift card for $25. Since I was at a point where I refused to use iTunes due to their ridiculous rules and was strictly using Amazon, I tried everything to get rid of it. Unfortunately I had no luck so a few months ago, I finally (and begrudgingly) dug up my old iTunes account and redeemed the gift card under it. As of my last purchase in September I had $7.92 left on it.

Fast forward to the update to iOS 9. The update was successful and I went through the steps of setting everything up. Right then and there is probably where my problem began. It asked me for my Apple ID and password, so I entered it in. Then it asked me to enter my ID for iCloud, so I entered in my Apple ID and it wouldn't take. I tried a few more times and it still didn't take, so I figured I needed to have a separate ID for iCloud, so I entered in my Yahoo email address. Unfortunately after I entered it in, I realized I put the wrong email address so I couldn't verify it.

Fast forward to this past Friday. I decide I want to purchase a song through iTunes and it asks me for my password, I enter it in, and it tells me my Apple ID or password was entered incorrectly. So I pull out my paper that I have the password written down on and sure enough everything was entered correctly. I tried again- same thing. Tried a 3rd time- same thing. I hit the "Forgot?" link and am taken to iForgot page where I am asked to enter my Apple ID. I enter it in and it tells me that ID doesn't exist. So I am taken to a page where I have to enter in my name and email address and I do so and receive the email to reset my password and I do so and I am taken back to the page to enter in my Apple ID and password. And it still doesn't work. I try logging in with my email address (which is my Apple ID@ [email company].com) and password and that takes.

I reopen iTunes again and enter in my email address and password and that takes. However, there is no gift card balance listed. I find my gift card and enter it in the redemption code line and am told it's already been redeemed. Which means I can't even use it with this "new" account. The balance is lost with my original Apple ID account that for some aggravating reason, seemed to disappear into thin air. I don't know what happened to it, but it pisses me off to no end, especially at having to lose that $7.92.

And I attempted to create an account for the Yahoo email address I had entered in for iCloud with the hopes that I could get a verification code and then delete the iCloud account once I accessed it. Unfortunately the email address is already in use, so I couldn't even do that. And some poor soul received an email telling them to verify their iCloud account.

Article Of The Day

Colorado man cited for 'killing' uncooperative computer with handgun

Random Thoughts

Thankfully I didn't wake up feeling as crappy as the last time I did an enema, but I am still feeling pretty bloated. But at least all the, um, rectum pressure is gone. Man, that was bad. It was so uncomfortable I was seriously starting to contemplate donning a pair of gloves and taking care of things myself. I regret taking those antibiotics. Big time.

Today I had something happen to me in work that I have worried would eventually happen. I use Word for my work and one of the first things I did when I started working there was set Autorecover to save every 2 minutes. And in the grand tradition of all things Microsoft, I have had Word crash on me quite a few times and when I reopened the file, everything was recovered. Today I was working on a file for a good 3 hours and went to do something else on the computer and at one point I realized my report was no longer open. And when I opened it up, it was where it was when I opened it this morning. Meaning I lost a good 1/4 of an inch worth of medical records (about 2 pages worth of typed information and 3 hours worth of work for nothing). I felt like all of the wind was knocked out of me. I checked the AutoRecover settings- it was still set to save every 2 minutes. But nothing was in the AutoRecover folder when I opened it. I tried a few more things, came up with nothing, and finally came to the sickening conclusion that I was going to have to go back and reread and retype all I had read and typed since that morning.

First time in a while I broke down in tears in work. I didn't care (my FWA was the only one who saw me anyway). That was a lot of fucking work I lost. I don't understand why it didn't autosave like it's supposed to. Or why even if I accidentally closed out of Word, it didn't ask me if I wanted to save my changes when I made many changes since I opened it that morning.

I am so beyond frustrated with my work output. I honestly don't know what I can do to be able to concentrate better and work faster. I feel like my brain can't even function anymore and it's not like my brain is overly fixated on anything right now (it seems to be on a temporary hiatus from convincing me I have something wrong with me. I dread to know what will follow premature menopause, because each new one seems to terrify me more). I'm starting to wonder if I sustained brain damage at some point and my family is neglecting to tell me.

Dafuq Apple?!

Safari has crashed on me 7 times so far today.

Buy Apple products, they say. They're better quality, they say.

Random Thoughts

The Oscars are on tonight. How exciting, watching a bunch of rich people pat themselves on the back and get goody bags worth more than most people's annual salaries and full of shit that probably none of them need and can easily afford on their own. 

For the past several weeks, every time I turn on my computer, the clock is off and I have to go manually sync it to the time server. It's starting to drive me nuts, especially because now there are days it won't even sync. My first thought was malware, but I have ran multiple scans and except for cookies, nothing shows up. I googled it earlier and it sounds like it could be hardware problem. Wouldn't surprise me, considering my computer is almost 6 years old.

As I say every Sunday night, I don't want to go back to work tomorrow. I look at my work log every Friday afternoon before I submit it and want to cry. Knowing I am not pulling my weight is frustrating the hell out of me, because I don't like to feel like I am not equally participating. There's days it makes me feel so awful I just want to pack up all of my shit and walk out.

I haven't really been on much so I haven't gotten around to mentioning that the company gave us bonuses. Pretty damn decent ones. And I have never felt so undeserving of something in my life.

This right here should be incentive to take the Prozac. But it's not. I also suspect Prozac won't help me with That Thing, either. If anything needs to be tackled by medication, that is one of them! My mother said to me the other day when I was complaining about taking it that I won't know if it will make me gain weight or not unless I take it. Which is true. And yeah, if it starts to put weight on me, then I can just do like I did with birth control and quit it. But part of me fears that it will alter my body in some way that I won't be able to get the weight off and/or I'll keep gaining.

I wish I could remember how exactly it affected my weight the last time I took it and whether it affected my weight at all dosages or just a certain dosage. The only thing I distinctly remember is of all of the medications I took following my funny farm stay, it was one of the only ones that did something, albeit mildly, and for some reason, 20 mgs worked better than 40 mgs.

Thanks to the snow yesterday, I was in pretty much the whole day and was bored and feeling anxious and restless, so I started cleaning up things. And one of those things was paperwork. And I came across paperwork from when I was hospitalized and laughed when I came across the "Voluntary Admission" consent form. Voluntary admission my ass. If I was to go there now and admit myself, I would consider that a voluntary admission. But that time I would not consider that voluntarily. It was either sign myself in then or the cops would be called. Either way you look at it I was ending up in the hospital, so how is that voluntary?

Earlier I went through old journals to find any record of when I was on Prozac and couldn't find much, except a monumental amount of second hand embarrassment. Holy zombie Jesus, these journals need to be doused in gasoline and lit on fire. And then the ashes need to be burned. I want to crawl under my desk and die just thinking of some of the shit in there. Even on here, I can go through old posts and think OH GOD WHY and if it's still around years from now, I am sure I will go through these posts and think OH GOD WHY. But these journals are exceptionally bad.

And not only is there a lot of embarrassing shit, but there is a lot about That Thing. That alone makes me want to kill them all with fire. And myself, if anyone should ever read them.

Random Thoughts

It's raining like hell out, so obviously we didn't get to go to Apple Fest. I AM SO BORED.

I saw this article earlier on Yahoo about some woman who came out of a coma or something and delivered a baby or something. I don't know, I didn't pay much attention to the article because I was more focused on the picture of her in a hospital bed with what looked like an NG tube. What on earth possesses people to take a picture of someone in a hospital bed? Or someone's horrific injuries after being injured? Like if someone is assaulted and someone takes a picture of their injuries and I am not referring to police photos either. I swear to God, if I ever ended up in the hospital with some bad injuries or illness and someone took pictures of me, there would be hell to pay after I recovered. Especially if said pictures ended up on social media and/or the news.

Yesterday when I submitted my worklog to my boss, I have to say I was a little pleased with it. I knocked out a lot more work this week than usual (just praying my work was done properly). Of course, the amount of reports I did in 1 week is what the rest can knock out in 2 days, but still, it was better than it has been. And they were some decent sized charts, too.

I pass by a synagogue every day to and from work and yesterday when I was coming home, they had a sign outside advertising their annual Oy Vey 5K. Best race name ever.

We went over my sister's last night and my sister has a 6 person dining room table. One side of it is very close to her china hutch and I was siting in the one seat next to the china hutch and my nephew's high chair and my aunt was sitting at the head of the table. It was just the 2 of us, so do the math- 4 seats open including 3 in a large open space. My mom asks if anyone if they want coffee and my grandfather says he'll take some. When it's done, he comes over to the table and asks me if I could move in because he is going to sit in the seat next to me or if I was going to move over. Now might I remind you I was in a seat next to a china hutch and high chair, a very tight space, and the seat next to me was also next to the china hutch. And there were 3 open chairs on the other side- in a very large open space. I am not going to bother bringing that up so I just tell him to sit in my seat and I'll go sit somewhere else. He doesn't even let me get the hell out of the way and starts moving into the seat before I am even out of the way and I bumped into the high chair and that was the point that I got really [silently] annoyed. And of course everyone got mad at me for getting annoyed, and maybe I am in the wrong and of course now I feel like crap, but for god's sake, it made it no goddamn sense to me! There were 3 fucking open seats!

I try to remember that my grandparents come from a different generation, but the way my grandmother acts like women should cater to men and the way my grandfather acts like women should do everything really fucking pisses me off sometimes.

I love my family, I really do, but I really dread being around them anymore. And I honestly hate feeling that way, but they're just so....overwhelming.

God, I really wish my computer would kick the bucket already so I can buy a new one! I am tired of its slow ass. See? This is what I get for taking good care of a computer! And my iPad isn't even much of an option considering Safari crashes EVERY 5 SECONDS.

The Fuck Avira?!

I have been using Avira Antivirus since probably about 2007 with no problems whatsoever. Until a few months ago when it decided to become nothing but a big bloated system hog. I have been trying to get it to update since I came home from work and all I keep getting is an error message and thanks to them doing away with their original easy-to-read forum (now it's some unorganized Answers mess), I can't seem to get an answer as to whether it is an error on their part or on my part. And I am starting to get really fucking pissed off.

11:03PM: Oh praise Jebus it finally updated on its own!

Random Thoughts

Damn, this job is making it hard to post more. I could probably post tons of shit, mainly lengthy rants about work and my coworkers, but I am pretty exhausted when I come home. I type reports pretty much most of the day. Why would I want to type more when I come home? Plus, why would I want to think about work? Coming home and forgetting your work woes isn't easy for someone like me, but I do try really hard. I am not always successful, though.

I guess I am doing okay with my position. My manager says I am, but I am reluctant to believe anything she says. She says I am a good writer, which obviously will not be evidenced on here. I do try to stay grammatically correct on here, but I am a little more laid back and relaxed about making mistakes. And I do make them. I have seen plenty of spelling and grammar mistakes in posts. I see posts where I have skipped words. But when I put my mind to it (which now takes a lot more brain power than it used to), yeah, I can be a fairly decent writer, I suppose.

As for my coworkers.....meh. I try to just go in and leave without much interaction. If anyone thinks I whine a lot (which I do), you haven't seen anything until you've met my coworkers.

I have been annoyed the past two days because I have been moved off of doing my old job and into strictly doing what I was hired to do (don't try to make sense of that). My FWA and another girl have been doing it. And not to sound so damn conceited, but no one can do my old job like me. These girls aren't consistent with naming things. I always gave everything the same title. I also had the habit of scanning things in the same exact order. When I got charts after exams, I always scanned the forms in the same order- photo ID, doctor notes, registration form, lower body exam form, and upper body exam form. If I had to stray off of that pattern, I felt discombobulated. When I see things not in my order in our computer system, I could chew nails.

My God, could you imagine working for me? I'd be a fucking nightmare. Not that I would ever be in a position of management anyway. I'd last all of one hour before I'd be running out the door in tears. I don't handle stress well, in case it wasn't obvious.

On Friday, I came home from work and the internet wasn't working. So my father calls the cable company and while he is on the phone, he is looking at the modem and tells the guy on the phone a light is blinking. I tell him not once, not twice, but three times that the light always blinks, and that it starts blinking as soon as my computer is turned on, e.g. it's supposed to blink. Later on, he has to call back and he tells the guy (another worker) the light is blinking. I get pissed because I already told him three times. He says he just wanted to get another opinion. I got even more pissed, and then he gets pissed off at me. Well, I told you something THREE GODDAMN TIMES. Why was that not good enough? Why could he just not believe what I said? I have been watching that goddamn light blink every damn day I turn my computer on for the last 6 damn years.

I don't understand why any time it comes to computer related stuff, my father tries to act like I have no idea what I am talking about. I know more about computers than he could ever dream of knowing. Back when my beloved Number 2 died, he got pissed off and tried to blame me for it. No. It was a simple hard drive failure, an inevitable fate for computers.

And speaking of annoyance, I am beyond fed up with my digestive system. I don't remember how long it took to straighten out the last time I went back to work, but this is ridiculous. I know it seems like such a minute thing, but some days I feel so horrible from it, I seriously just want to blow my brains out. I don't even want to eat because I feel guilty about everything I put into my body. I think of all of the nasty shit and chemicals in food and cringe.

And speaking of food with nasty shit and chemicals....I need a pumpkin pie Blizzard ASAP.

Random Thoughts

Well, I woke up in the mood from hell today. I was up at 5:30AM and my mind grabbed a hold of a thought and wouldn't let go for anything and I got very agitated. Eventually at some point I finally fell back asleep. And when I woke up for good, holy shit. Right away I was focused on my head and neck pain. And because my mind can't accept that it could just be a simple neck strain/sprain, I spent a good portion of the day researching brain tumors. It's a wonder I have not managed to actually make myself physically ill from worrying so much about being physically ill. I wouldn't be surprised if I had a brain tumor from all of the worrying and repressing I do (cue brain tumor singing "I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor, I'm a tumor").

And being so anxious, I have been cranky and snippy as hell. I snapped quite a few times at people and now the guilt is about to suffocate me.

I also had bladder pressure when I woke up at 5:30, relieved it, and not even 5 minutes later, I had to go again. And my bladder felt very irritable after that. That didn't help. Then when I woke up for good, I had that vague burning pain in my lower left side and across my back. And have had it all day. I know I keep saying it and not doing it, but I am guessing I should probably just get that pelvic ultrasound done already. Which reminds me, I called another imaging place and I tell the girl on the phone that I have no insurance and she says "you have no insurance at all?". Wut? No, I am lying. I generally enjoy paying for expensive medical procedures out of pocket.

I am guessing places don't like to give out prices for fear of losing business. Well, that is not my problem. In the end, it is me who has to pay that expensive bill, not them, so hell yeah I am going to shop around. You'd have to be pretty fucking stupid not to do so.

Earlier, my former boss called and wants to me to call her on Tuesday. I wonder what that is about. Maybe a job call-back? Wouldn't that be something? Hell, I don't even care if it's part-time. Not that I want to work with those people again, but being unemployed blows.

And do you know what else blows? When icons just vanish into thin air from the Windows taskbar. I just noticed the Realtek Audio Manager icon was missing. So I ended the explorer.exe process. And then it occurred to me that uh, duh, I have to restart the process myself (I am used to the only time it closing is when it crashes, in which it automatically restarts itself). So opened up RUN, typed in explorer.exe, explorer.exe restarted and huzzah! The Realtek icon was back!

Oh For The Love Of.....

Boy, am I in a bad mood right now. I don't know why. Well, actually I do, but I am not going to get into it right now. Also, I have felt like shit all day. My throat feels all irritated and I have had the chills all day. No fever or anything, though. And to aggravate me even more than I already am, I was just in the bathroom and I was brushing in my teeth and I looked in the mirror and the first thing I thought was omg, does my skin look darker? I was just starting to think this fear of having Addison's disease was maybe, just maybe, finally starting to go away permanently. I am sitting in the dark right now because I am afraid I am going to start analyzing every part of my body.

I am also worried that my period is going to come early. I have been squeezing and pressing on my breasts all day (yes, in private) to see if they are sore. Normally that would turn me on a bit, but not when I am racked with anxiety. It's just making me miserable.

I was in Acme with my mother the other day and "My Heart Will Go On" came on and I said, "I don't know how I ever liked that stupid song, because now I hear it and want to blow my brains out". My mother says, "I don't think there is much that doesn't make you want to do that". I said, "No. No, there isn't". It's kind of confusing why I think of blowing my brains out every day, since as I have said before, that is the last method of suicide I would ever resort to. And while I think about suicide every day, I don't necessarily want to actually commit it every day, if that makes sense.

Also.....getting real tired of your shit, Shockwave Flash plugin.

Stupid Computer

Last night, I decided to search for some files. Now every time I try to search, I get this:

*OR*

Yes, I edited part of that second picture.

And then explorer crashes. The error logs "Faulting application explorer.exe, version 6.0.2900. 5512, faulting module kernel32.dll, version 5.1.2600.6293, fault address 0x00012fd3." I wish computers would just put in plain damn English what is wrong. Like specifically hey [insert program name] is preventing me from functioning properly.

I want to blame a program I just installed, but I have not used the search function in so long that it may have done it before I installed the program. I don't know. I guess I will have to try uninstalling it and see if that works. I have ran all of my viral and antimalware programs, and just finally reinstalled A-2 to my computer,  and all have come up clean. Not that I ever use search much, but I would like to fix this before I say fuck it and just reinstall Windows again. I get a jolly from reinstalling Windows. A new install of Windows is always nice. It runs so much faster. I regularly run a junk file cleaner (CCleaner and ATF Cleaner), but nothing holds a candle to a newly installed Windows. And installing new programs is fun. Man, I really need to get a life.

Random Thoughts

Well, let's try this again. I just had a multi-paragraph entry typed up and I accidentally hit Undo, clearing out the whole thing.....JUST as Auto-save was saving it. It cleared out everything. I want to punch my monitor, and then throw my keyboard against the wall right now.

I am having chest pains again (they started before the above happened), although this time they are not radiating from below my belly button to my chest. They're just in my chest. I don't think this is my heart either, though, because I feel like it would stop if I just belched.

My mother and I went over my sister's yesterday, since hubby had to be somewhere. When we turned onto her street, hubby was coming up the road. When we got inside, my mother asked my sister if he knew we were coming. He did not. Personally, I don't think she should have to say anything to him about us coming, but being secretive about it is kind of insulting.

My sister will follow almost everything he says to her, and many times it seems like she can't function without him doing things for her, and it makes my inner feminist want to slap her. It's 2013, for God's sake! Women don't have to obey their husbands anymore unless they live in the Middle East or are one of those nutbag Christians.

I went to some stores with them on Saturday and we stopped back at the house to drop off groceries before going to eat. I was on the floor holding the baby and my sister gave me a bottle to feed him. He was doing okay and then he started drooling out everything he ate. My BIL starts making comments about it and he wouldn't let up. I was ready to yell, well, instead of standing there nit-picking and making comments, why doesn't someone help me?!

Luckily today when my paternal aunt and uncle had visited, I didn't have to go. I thought for sure my mother would have expected me to go, but when I complained about going, she said why would you have to go? That was a relief, especially since I had a bad case of insomnia and felt like shit when I woke up. I would have screamed if I had to sit there and listen to everything about my bitchy cousin and watch my BIL play on his phone the whole time. I have to laugh at my sister complaining about being tired of visitors. I can see why, since I don't like visitors in general, but, uh, newsflash- you had a baby. Everyone will want to see it.

Ugh, people are so strange when it comes to babies. Yes, they are adorable and all that, but I laugh at how every time my sister posts anything about the baby, it will get about a hundred likes. Everything that has to do with babies.....why do people lose their minds over it? And I know people are proud of their babies, but why do their profile pictures have to be of the baby? Why can't they have profile pictures of themselves with the baby?

Speaking of shitty, I swear since I have went off birth control, I have been dealing with things I never dealt with before. I don't ever recall having insomnia every so many days like I have, or having vaginal itching. I also feel like I have had this constant vague bloating that will not cease for anything. It could just be the stronger probiotics, but I am pretty sure I had it before.

Also, it is either a lingering withdrawal effect or it had entirely nothing to do with birth control, but I noticed I still have a rather bad case of the misandries. My father is a disgusting pig when it comes to the bathroom and my mother constantly is screaming at him for leaving the seat dirty. And because he is fat and lazy and heaven forbid he should have to take a few extra steps to go to his own bathroom, he uses mine a lot. Which knowing how disgusting he is when it comes to the bathroom, it really, REALLY irks me. And I went in my bathroom the other day and when I got up off the toilet seat, I happened to notice a giant shit stain on the back. I wanted to scream bloody murder. I don't particularly have anxiety over germs, but that is just fucking disgusting.

And so far, I have been doing pretty good with cutting back on diet Coke. Last Friday and this past Monday, I had 3 glasses, and Saturday I definitely had more than I should, but I will excuse that, since Saturday is pretty much my free-for-all day anyway. I had a glass with dinner tonight and I am debating whether to just say the hell with it and have another glass later or just stick to the 2 glass maximum. I almost want to, but then I feel guilty doing so.

Guilt. Now there is a feeling I have no concept of *eye roll*. My constant unrelenting guilt is one of the only things that prevents me from wondering if I am a sociopath.

I decided to order a new MGMT t-shirt and when I went to order it on Monday, I used IE, since I was having trouble with the site on Firefox. After I filled out all I needed, I hit submit and was met with "To display the webpage again, Internet Explorer needs to resend the information you've previously submitted. If you were making a purchase, you should click Cancel to avoid a duplicate transaction. Otherwise, click Retry to display the webpage again". I wasn't sure what to do so I hit Cancel. Which meant the order didn't go through. I wanted to scream, since I had used a coupon code to get 20% for signing up. I went back to the main page and was greeted with a box to sign up for offers and receive 25% off my first order. So I filled it out with a new email address. This time I went back to Firefox and tampered with NoScript and this the order went through. I was ecstatic at saving more money than I had originally was going to save.

And now I am [impatiently] waiting for my order to be delivered. Last I checked, it was currently in Allentown and the expected delivery date is Monday. It's a pretty wild shirt, although I am trying to remember if it was the one I originally wanted at Musikfest or if it was different. I'm kind of thinking it was the same one. And I hope the material of it is like the one I did buy, because the material of that one is really nice. Despite their creepy ass ads, and creepy ass everything, American Apparel does make nice t-shirts.

ETA 3/15: It's here! HUZZAH!

Good thing I went with the large. My other t-shirt is a juniors (I think), and this is a man's, so I wasn't sure whether to order a medium or a large. I don't think I would have had any trouble fitting into a medium, but I worry so much about gaining weight and it makes clothes shopping really difficult. I am always worried about buying clothes that aren't ridiculously big on me, but that I could still fit into if I put on weight.

NOW WHAT?!

My sound is all fucked up again. It has been working fine since I did the system restore. Then yesterday, I hear it starting to slow down and get distorted again. Oh, and it takes forever to get to the log-screen at start-up. And do you know what I think it is? There is some kind of enormous conflict between my firewall and one of the Windows updates for Microsoft .NET. I have a huge list of failed installations for it. And it all started right before my sound went bad.

I wish I would have thought to do a little more research when I did the system restore before to see if that is what causing it, although I suspect it was. I could undo the system restore, but it takes so damn long to do and undo system restores.

ETA 10/9: I tried everything to get those files to install properly. I turned off my firewall and went back to the Windows one when downloading and installing those .NET files. Still nothing. I contemplated going ahead with the system restore, but I could not uninstall my firewall, even after reinstalling it to try to get the uninstall file back. No luck. So, since I had everything I needed backed-up and was not attached to anything, I reinstalled everything again. And then I fucked up and removed the calculator and MS Paint by accident (why does Adding/Removing Windows Components have to be so complicated), so I did a quick system restore, and then I could not remove Norton Antivirus (it comes with my installation CD), so I reinstalled everything again. I made sure I got every update I needed. All updates were successful. So far, so good. NOW LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY!

System re-installations really aren't that bad, as long as you have everything backed-up. The only thing that annoys me is all of the junk I have to uninstall (Norton, Google Toolbar, Google Desktop, etc), reinstalling all of the programs I need, and getting all of my iTunes music and playlists back in. I have Pod+Rescue, but I think I may invest in a thumb drive that can hold all of my music. I am sure I could get a large enough one for a fairly good price nowadays.

ETA 10/13: I am afraid I will jinx myself saying this, but....so far, still good with the sound.

I did buy a new thumb drive. Got a 16GB for under $10 at Staples. I fit all of my iTunes music and still have about half the drive empty. This will be helpful when I am forced to finally switch to whatever the current version of Windows is. I will not be happy when that day comes. The day I am forced to leave XP, my shrill banshee shriek will be heard worldwide. And then I will have a meltdown not unlike the Gamefly commercials.

Random Thoughts

So far still good. I am still disappointed in losing those 11 files. I did get about 7 of them back, but I can't remember what the addresses were of the rest. I've had to reinstall a few programs. I'm still very highly agitated with my computer, though. If I wasn't such an internet addict, I'd be giving it the silent treatment. And I am angry at myself for being too lazy to back-up those files. I'm always good about that. And it had to happen right after my weekly online back-up.

And due to being so stressed, as well as hormones, I have immense heartburn. I feel like if I were to lay down on my stomach, my esophagus would burn right through my chest. I feel like I have a lump in the back of my throat, pain in my back, my mouth tastes really bitter, and I feel violently hungry. Like I could eat an entire buffet. I went to Maggiano's for dinner on Thursday and that certainly did not help. Enjoyed my dinner, though. Their eggplant parm and spaghetti are awesome. Plus, you get a second meal to take home. All for $12.95. And I had my first pumpkin pie Blizzard of the month. I was quite pleased that day.

My mother and I ran to the mall earlier and I decided to stop in FYE and I ended up buying both of MGMT's CDs, Oracular Spectacular for $6.99 (it was used) and Congratulations for $9.99. So now I finally own them. Too bad Congratulations wasn't used. They were running a buy one used, get the second half off. And don't get me wrong, I am glad to finally own them, but I suffering from major buyer's remorse. I generally always do when it comes to buying anything. It's annoying.

My mother was singing along with "The Youth" and "Electric Feel" in the car. And the keyboard part in "Time To Pretend". She loves that part. I think I have created a fan.

And speaking of them:

So then none of those pages I have liked are really them. They seemed kind of legitimate, but I never really was sure. Didn't realize they'd be so unhappy about it. Or whoever really wrote the status. Whoops. Guess I should go unlike the ones on my list. But I'm too lazy.

I always imagined MGMT's fan base would be more mature than a lot of other fan bases, but damn, some of their fans are almost as bad as Bieber's and One Direction's. Of course, I realized all of this after Musikfest, when people were losing their shit over them not playing "Kids", and people losing their shit over the people losing their shit over them not playing "Kids". And oh, what a surprise! The pattern still continues to indicate that the ones that suck are all the same ages as the nutcases in the latter two. Well, the horrible MGMT fans don't attack the band like the latter two, although I have heard of people dissing Ben, but haven't ever saw it with my own eyes. Mostly just each other. There are times that I'd like to make remarks to other fans, particularly about not acting so stupid. And the ones that claim Andrew is their soul mate. Yeah. In your dreams, girls. He wouldn't marry someone like you. But that's a whole other story. I understand people's points about getting gorgeous people when you are famous, but I look at it like this- if these people wouldn't give you the time of day if you were not famous, they are not worth your time.

 Not that attacking the band is any better. Attacking the band still makes no sense to me.

And I might be a little biased in this saying, but I don't understand making fun of the 1D boys. Make fun of their music, sure, but other than that, they are harmless. Well, except for Louis. I laugh when people make fun of him (well, outside of the gay jokes, although they can be pretty funny sometimes). He is not "sassy". He's a little bitch. I want to grab a hold of his suspenders and then let go of them and allow them to slap against his body. He's the kind of guy I'd like to bitch slap around and then have hate sex with*. But the rest of them are okay. They don't seem to be cocky. And I watched a video one time of Harry crying over some of the things people say about him and while a part of me wants to say "sorry honey that is what comes with fame", now I feel like I am kicking kittens if I make a joke about him. How can you make fun of that face? It's nice to hear someone actually be honest about how negative comments affect them, instead of being like most "badass" celebrities with their "fuck the haters" and the like, when we all know it really does bother them. Please. Celebrities are incredibly insecure.

*followed by serious regret in the morning

ARGH!

I hate computers so much right now. A little run down of all of the shit I have encountered since Wednesday, including completely unnecessary details:

- doze off on my bed during the Simpsons
- get up and go on computer
- computer freezes, can't get anywhere, so I am forced to do a cold boot
- Windows screen comes up, then blue screens with a boot volume error
- can't get into safe mode or any other screen
- cry multiple times for 15 minutes
- finally get into a screen where I can reinstall the entire OS
- reinstalled all of my usual files (and got back 7 or 8 of those lost files), Windows updates, and pulled all the songs off of my iPod, took me from 9:00PM until 4:00AM 
- discovered I may have not had to reinstall entire OS, thus losing 11 technically unimportant files that I was too lazy to backup for no reason, although I am normally one to be on the ball with that
- discover I am missing the install CD for my printer
- anitvirus updates, slows down my computer completely (and I can say with complete confidence that I have never, EVER had a problem with Avira, so I don't know what went wrong)
- discover my firewall is fucking with IE, even though I allowed it access
- shut down firewall temporarily, go back to Windows firewall, IE works again
- go to listen to music, sound card is messed up
- do a system restore
- firewall is back, try to uninstall it, cannot uninstall
- say fuck it I'll deal with it when I wake up and go to bed, only to find the 114 updates that were previously installed need to be reinstalled again

Right now, everything seems to be okay. I am a little unsettled with my firewall not wanting to uninstall. I'm wondering if it is actually functioning properly. I kind of want to uninstall and reinstall it, but I am afraid of fucking things up again.

FML

I got a blue screen of death earlier. An unmountable boot volume error. I could not get anywhere into my computer, but finally I got into a screen where I could reinstall Windows. Of course, now I am finding out I might not have had to do that. I want to cry so bad.

ETA 2:01PM: I was up until 4:00AM installing most of what I needed on my computer, so needless to say, I am a little cranky. But now I cannot find the CD to install my printer. I have never wanted to punch something as much as I do right now.

BLAH!

I received a call from a recruiter the other day for a pretty good position. The hours are good. The pay is good. The position is good. The fact that I would have to work a weekend day and have a day off during the week is good. The only problem is the company is too far away.

I was filling out another application earlier and I had to answer what was my most favorite and least favorite position and why for each. Are they kidding me? HOW DO YOU ANSWER SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! I was so completely clueless on how to answer this!

This is why I bomb interviews all of the time. I have no clue how to answer their questions! And if HR recruiters really believe that by someone being able to answer these nutty questions that it somehow makes them more qualified for a job, I have a little news for you, recruiters. Those who can answer these questions are doing a little thing called BULLSHITTING. Just because they can think on their feet and know how to flatter people does not mean they can do a good job.

I just took a Microsoft Office skills test and I am absolutely astonished at how much of my Microsoft Office skills have disappeared! I am so aggravated! I can't even....FRICK!

ETA 7/30: My results for my tests were good. However, my Microsoft Office tests were a lot lower than they should have been. And for dumb reasons. A couple things I got wrong because while I did it correctly, I did not do it the way the test wanted. Like saving a document. I did not save the way the test wanted. I did not hit the Save button; instead, I went under the File menu and saved it from there. Because I am pretty sure the last time I took the test, I hit the Save button and got it wrong. What is the difference? I still saved it. Honey, please. Like I would not know how to save a document. And I manually entered in a function in Excel, instead of using the function button. Which I swore it told me not to do.

The WTF Of The Day

I am about to lose my patience with this.

Ever since Avira detected that trojan, I have been running all of my different programs nonstop. And every single scan has been coming up clean.

Until Friday. I ran a scan with Superantispyware and along with some cookies, it found this:

Trojan.Agent/Gen-Sirefef
C:\WINDOWS\$HF_MIG$\KB2592799\SP3QFE\AFD.SYS

I could not find out much information on the trojan, but when I brought up the file, it seemed like it was a legitimate Microsoft Windows file from a previous update.

But this is where it gets weird. I always run under a limited Windows account unless it is absolutely necessary to be an administrator. When I ran Superantispyware under my administrator account, the scan came up clean. Went back over to my limited account and was once again giving the same detection. Tried again with the administrator account. Clean.

Ran another scan on Saturday and the results were:

Trojan.Agent/Gen-Sirefef
C:\WINDOWS\$HF_MIG$\KB2592799\SP3QFE\AFD.SYS
C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\DLLCACHE\AFD.SYS

Trojan.Agent/Gen-Orsam
C:\WINDOWS\SYSTEM32\DLLCACHE\NETBT.SYS

Once again, all seem to be legitimate files. Once again, a clean scan under the adminstrator.

Ran another scan later on and was only given one detection:

Trojan.Agent/Gen-Sirefef
C:\WINDOWS\$HF_MIG$\KB2592799\SP3QFE\AFD.SYS

The rest of the weekend, I decided to run a ton of different scans. These were the results:

Avira: clean
Malwarebytes: clean
Spybot: clean
A-2: clean
Blacklight Rootkit Eliminator: clean
TDSSKiller: clean
Eset Online Scanner: clean
Panda Online Scanner: clean
F-Secure Online Scanner: one cookie
Trend Micro Online Scanner: clean

I have no idea what to do. SAS is the only one detecting this trojan and the files seem legitimate, so I don't want to delete them. But I am very uneasy with the detections because I don't know if they are really infected or if they are just false positives. I sent SAS a message about it, but have yet to receive a response. It would be nice if someone could help me the hell out!

Also, I looked more into that trojan Avira had initially found:

[0] Archive type: GZ
--> object
[1] Archive type: MIME
--> Post_Label_1443US.zip
[2] Archive type: ZIP
--> Post_Label.exe
[DETECTION] Is the TR/Dldr.Dofoil.29 Trojan

I think I have a pretty good idea where it came from. Christmas night, I had received an email from DHL telling me I had not been available to pick up a package or something. I knew right off the bat from the subject line that it was a scam, so I didn't open it and immediately deleted it. So how on earth did I get infected if I did not even open it, let alone download anything from it?

ETA: Ran another SAS scan under my limited account after updating the software. Clean.

The WTF Of The Day

What the hell? I was about to ask why my antivirus did not pick this up in the first place since it is on constant guard, but then I remembered someone told me Avira is funny with picking up alerts with Firefox. But still. This trojan sounds like it is picked up from email attachments and I am 150% sure that I have not downloaded anything from an email. I learned my lesson several years ago from downloading an attachment from Monster.com, getting a virus, and crashing my entire computer. I never EVER download email attachments unless I am absolutely positive the person I received it from is not giving me malicious attachments.

The virus went right into quarantine when the scan was finished. I was thinking maybe it was a false positive, since I have the settings on Avira very high, but before I moved it to quarantine, I scanned the file with Virus Total and 27/43 found it infected. I tried to submit it to Avira to be tested again, but it wouldn't submit. Ran 4 of my on demand programs after the scan (Malwarebytes, Superantispyware, A-2, and Spybot) and all came up clean.

It disturbs me picking up viruses, because I try to keep a strong lock down on my computer.

Quote Of The Day

From this Cracked.com article:

You're browsing the Internet one day and your antivirus software alerts you to a threat. You easily avoid it, but seconds later that AV program pings you as you trawl the Web for torrents and Ukrainian warez. Who does this "Avg" guy think he is, judging you? With the righteous fury of the scorned, you disable active alerts and forget about it. A month later, your PC explodes and someone in Mexico steals your identity.