Quote Of The Day

Lady Miss Kier on Beyonce and other things:

I was wrong. Beyonce stole the most inspiring part of her show from a less famous,original AND contemporary GIRL currently trying to run the world in italy Lorella Cuccariniand. This biting is more than inspiration….the angel wings, the multiple busby berkly clones, the drums, the linnear shapes booted into motion,etc…..slamming the coffin lid and putting Lorella’s act 6 feet under . it’s one thing to reach into the past for inspiration like I do , but many of todays artists like bouncy, gaga, madonna, rhiana, ke$ha build a career flat out stealing from their less famous contempoarys struggling in the underground but taking risks as artists. Before their feet hit the bottom step of the stage and before they can ever get off the ground , someone with a mobile phone spreads the infoand wa-la- the rip-off begins with a huge budget. AND what’s worse is the record companys fund them for that EXACT reason because it’s already tried and true and feels familiar and safe. no risk. they’re selling mediocracy. ( will be their downfall) The record company’s get nervous when faced with original ideas. it’s why they told dee-lite we were too weird to give tour support to or too gay sounding for any radio promotion or video funding. . they said ” but it dosn’t sound like anything on the radio so it’s too risky to fund.” Who runs the world???? biters ! Who runs the world? thiefs Who runs the world? rich kids. Who runs the world? copycats. Who runs the world? those who rip off the tried and the truely inspiring. NO RESPECT on this one BOUNCY. except for your hips. yes she did do it better- but that’s the easy part. I had heard that she’s ripped off Halo and irreplaceable but those songs were so corny i couldn’t bear to listen to the original inspiration - Big Fail for the academy who awarded her “ORIGINAL ARTIST” . this is the generation McDonna inspired to a tee. there are other cultures known for ripping off and bootlegging everything UNIQUE under the sun -this is our culture now so….. hide your looks, hide your hooks, hide your riffs, hide your lyrics-they be raping errybody out here (sic)

I LOVE YOU

Random Thoughts

Oh am I happy this week is a three day week for me.

My sister's bachelorette party was this weekend. It was interesting, to say the least. There was about eleven of us. First we did dinner at Longhorn (first time going there for me and I think I may have just found a bacon cheeseburger that rivals Friday's), then we headed down Atlantic City. We went to Boogie Nights at Resorts. Again, interesting, to say the least. While we standing in line to get in, I could feel my chest starting to tighten at the prospect of having to go in. But once I was in, I relaxed a little and actually was on the dance floor most of the time we were there.

The dance floor was a fascinating place. For one thing, it kept getting smelly. And the sights! Oh the horror! Old people grinding against each, fat people in clothing several sizes too small for them.....*shudders*. At one point, I had some foreign kid kind of dancing with me and because I am socially retarded, I had no idea what to do so I just kind of winged it. I must have not been too terrible though, because he didn't run off screaming. I could see my sister watching him, though and later she told me she was keeping an eye on him that he didn't get too close. I just laughed, mostly at the prospect of a guy even coming close to me.

Everywhere I looked, all I could think of was this gif from this article:



Watch that gif closely. Tell me that kid is not at least bi. And you know what else? Where is the original Situation? I have seen plenty of pictures of him over the past few months and I cannot remember the last time I seen him lift his shirt up. Picture 10 of this gallery has him topless, but you cannot see anything. I think the last time I saw the full ensemble was when he was on Dancing With The Has Beens And The Why Am I Famous Agains. Whatsa matter? Sitch getting fat?

There was a lady who impersonated different singers on stage at random points and all I kept thinking was, damn she looks like Lady Miss Kier and if that is her and I am not getting my picture done with her, I am going to be so mad! But I checked her blog and I don't think it was her.

And now it is time to go back to that....place. Oh, the horror again! I am starting to notice an annoying trait. Like the rest of society should probably do, I ask questions when I am having a problem with my work. And I absolutely despise ever having to ask my boss questions. One, she gets nasty sometimes. But this is generally how asking a question turns out:

1. I ask a question
2. Boss starts asking questions that are hardly related to said question
3. I attempt to explain what is going on
4. Boss keeps going on about something else
5. I get even more frustrated
6. Boss flies off the handle about problem and whatever someone else did wrong, badmouths employee to me, uses the F word repeatedly, then starts to bitch about how she will have to hear it from our sister office because whenever something goes wrong, they immediately call her up and start yelling at her.

And then sometimes it will turn into an all out rant about our sister office in general. But the last one is what kills me. She is in charge of the office! Of course they are going to go right to her! Who else does she expect our sister office to holler at? Me?

The WTF Of The Day/Signs Of The Apocolypse

'Jersey Shore' star The Situation schools Justin Bieber in 'Never Say Never' promo video

*eye twitch*

I think my brain stroked off again. The last thing I remember hearing is "my name is Professor Situation" and then I woke up with my face planted in my keyboard and the video was over.

Holy hell! Look at his face! Every time I see Mike anymore, his face looks so damn bloated. There was a picture of him in the new TV Guide and I swore I saw a second chin going on. Look at him!:


















Look at his face compared to it *searches frantically for older picture* here. And hey, look! It's Moe, Larry, and Curly! Bwahahahaha! Don't know where Shemp is, though.

And you know what else? "Professor" is spelled wrong on the chalkboard.

I first seen this article when I was on lunch at work and when I read the first comment by yerkiddingright I had to fold my arms on my desk and stick my head into them because I was laughing so hard and god forbid should my sinister laughter disrupt some people.

I found this picture of him and one of the first things I thought was, after questioning why he was with the mayor and has sunglasses and no shirt on, if I was to press one of my boobies up against a window, they would be roughly the same size as his man boobies. Do not ask. Just do not ask.

I say, are those stretchmarks I see? And is his shirt pink? Come to think of it, I think I remember reading somewhere that he took his shirt off because he left the tag or something on it. Or I'm having pipe dreams again. I don't know. I am so damn forgetful, I'm starting to have difficulty remembering what is real life and what have I dreamt anymore. Damn psych drugs!

Thanks to him, every single fucking time I hear or read the word "situation", I think of him (for some strange reason, this also always comes to mind). One night I was in the shower and I had a CD playing that I burned a few years back and Yaz came on and I was dancing in the shower. And then I realized what the name of the song was. My eye started to twitch violently. One night on Action News, they were talking about the gas line explosion in Philalphia that killed a gas worker and I swear to God, every other word out of the reporter's mouth was "situation". Finally at one point, I screamed "SHUT UP!" at the TV screen and my mom comes in and says "what the hell is your problem?!". I don't remember what the answer was I gave her. I don't know if she knows his name now, after that little debacle at dinner that one night, although she did say to me at dinner one night "guess what your boyfriend said?" and proceeded to tell me how she read in a magazine that he says in his book that he likes to put girls in the hot tub to sterilize them before he hooks up with them. I'd already read it in a Newsweek in work, so I just laughed. Mom's never made any comments about him before, but I do not think she was very pleased with that.

But really now....where does he get off? I hope he gets in the hot tub as well because if anyone needs to be sterilized, it's El Sitcho here. Good God. Fucking pig. Fucking sexy pig.

Jesus. I'm sorry, but he looks really fucking hot in that video. Nerdy glasses, girly scarf, bloated face and all. I don't know. I think he looks good with extra weight on him. Like with Lady Miss Kier- ah, ya'll thought I forgot about her, didn't you *laughs, the turns serious* NEVER!- it reminds me that he is in fact, human. Well, something close to it. *sits on desk in cliche naughty school girl outfit, crosses legs, and pulls 2 apples out of bra* I'm ready for my lesson, Mr. The Situation.

Did I really just say that? Ugh. Oh well. *whistles "Don't Stand" by the Police*

The WTF Of The Day

Troy Polamalu's Precious Locks Insured For $1 Million

Sweet zombie Jesus! I thought I had a lot of hair!

Facebook | miss Lady Kier

No, I was not the stalker who stole her phone.

Snowball Effect?

When one is in a bad mood, does it just seem like everything else goes wrong or does everything really go wrong? I was in such a foul mood after leaving work and I had slow drivers the entire way home. I knocked everything off of my shower caddy while in the shower.

I have been so fucking cranky and miserable lately. It's even getting on my nerves. More than likely it is hormones. Anymore I am turning into an absolute monster before my period comes. It is really starting to scare me. My mom and my sister are convinced it is PMDD, but I think I am just nuts. Now people see how I get when I am pre-menstrual....and they still expect me to have kids?

Poorly Dressed

I knew the second I seen this picture that it was Lady Miss Kier and....good God, it is possible that even she can not make something look good!

This comment is stupid:

holy hell lady ga ga has a twin the world is fucked

Um, Lady Miss Kier was doing this looooong before that freak came onto the scene.

Video Of The Day

I truly enjoyed this video and figured with it being Memorial Day, it would be appropriate. It's kind of boring in the beginning but it gets better at about 1:35:

Take That, DADT!

This is actually one of only three Lady Gaga songs I actually like (except for Beyonce), but....bitch, these boys totally made a better video. I laughed until my teeth almost fell out at the guy with the big giant black box on with "Telephone" written on it. And when the guy raps to Beyonce's part and how the rest of the soldiers are dancing in the background.

I know I have condemned the comparison of Lady Miss Kier to Lady Gaga many times, but for some reason, I would kill to hear Lady Miss Kier sing this song. Every time I hear it, I think of the "Good Beat" video (that video is wicked). She would absolutely kill that song. And she would kill the Beyonce part, too. She is just that awesome. She seriously does no wrong.

Happy Memorial Day!

The Bitch, Please! Of The Day

From some dumb article on Yahoo:

She appeared on "Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's in a sparkly black Paula Bradley one-piece and studded heels. The outfit, showing off every inch of Jen's post-baby body, kept people talking for days. Lopez admitted on "Live With Regis and Kelly" that she was so taken by the outfit she wore it two more times. But Britney Spears gets credit for testing the look first in 2004.

Okay, first off, J-Ho looked god awful in that outfit. The fact that she probably thought she actually looked good in it shows just how astronomically delusional this dumb bitch is. She is still Jenny from the block, after all. She is still keeping it real as a Bronx person. Because we all know Bronx people keep it real by putting $900 crystal chandeliers in their baby nurseries.

Second, Britney Spears ABSOLUTELY does not get the credit on catsuits. There were plenty people before her that wore them. The chick from Snap! wore one in the "Rhythm Is A Dancer" video. I know damn well because that was the first time I became fascinated with them!*

Oh, and we cannot forget the goddess herself. Sorry that she just wasn't as damn special as the no talent hillbilly Britney, but that was still something she was known for. And if people know anything about math, Lady Miss Kier wore them 14 years before Britney. God!

Good God, every time I look at that picture I cannot believe how young she looks. And I think she is older than me there! That was 1990, she was supposedly born in 1963, so that would put her at....actually, right about my age, give or take a few months.

*I have come to realize that I am actually more fascinated with black catsuits, not catsuits in general. Should the day ever come when I squeeze my fat ass into one, you bet your bottom dollar it will be black. And every store that sells Spanx within a 25 mile radius will be sold out.

Random Thoughts

I am little late on this, but holy freaking crap! I can't believe Congress actually passed the healthcare reform bill through!

It absolutely astonishes me how many people believe there should be NO healthcare reform. Rich morons, blockheads who already receive socialized medicine, and idiots with the "it can never happen to me" mentality are the ones most likely to be against it. You can't lose your health insurance? It's here to stay forever? You will never lose your job? You won't get a fucking brain tumor and have your health insurance refuse to pay your bills? Aetna won't deny you coverage because you stuffed your face with fattening foods and are now fat as hell and have diabetes? No. None of this will happen to you because nothing bad could ever happen to you. Bad things don't happen to you because God loves you and thinks your special.

Yeah. Keep telling yourself that. Or better yet, get bent.

If I had to say the one good thing about me having obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety is I never have the mentality of "it could never happen to me". In fact, I have the exact opposite- it will happen to me! Thinking bad things will always happen to you is, quite frankly, a better situation to be in then to think it never will. That way, if it does, it won't be that shocking.

People who want healthcare reform are not all "gimme gimme gimme everything for free" or have the I am owed stuff mentality. I am not asking for free health insurance. I am asking for health insurance that won't murder my finances. Healthcare reform is more than just affordable healthcare, assholes. It's about having the peace of mind that if you develop cancer or something else, your health insurance company won't fuck you up the ass. It's about not having to worry that when you are able to get health insurance, you won't be denied coverage because you are sick. I am terrified that when I apply for health insurance, I am going to be denied due to being sick in the head. Oh sure, health insurance companies don't want to treat mental hilarity the same as diabetes, but they will have no problem denying coverage.

People who are uninsured are not all lazy bastards. I see many files a day where the person is uninsured and most of them have decent jobs!

I would say that I think every Congress member who voted nay have their socialized medicine revoked, but then there are some, like John Adler, who voted against it for a different reason.

Like Lady Miss Kier wrote on her FB page:

prayers don't pay the Doctor's bills

Darren Hayes' response to the passing was just as good:

Welcome to the 21st Century. Amen

In less than a month, it has been almost 2 years since my friend was killed in a car accident. I have never really been able to react to it. A month or so ago, "Don't Look Back In Anger" by Oasis came on (it was one of her favorite bands) and I broke down a little. The other night, I was doing something and I had been listening to "Anthem" and something made me think of her and when the "this is an anthem for...." part came on, I burst into tears and couldn't stop crying. I have never properly grieved over her death and while I still don't think I have, that was the closest I have come. It's hard to grieve over someone's death when you don't see death as all that bad.

I did have a nice day today. Then I had to go and ruin it by stepping on the scale and finding out I was about 7 to 8 pounds heavier than what I weighed Thursday morning. Certainly much of it was probably from my high sodium laden dinner and 100+ oz of soda. I was already unhappy with the scale Thursday. I was kind of bad last weekend- not the worst I have ever been- and I have been having stomach trouble all week so whether that attributed to the 1.5 to 2 pound weight gain I saw Thursday I don't know. SO what did I in response to that 7/8 pound weight hold? I gorged. And then I threw up. Three times. Most of it was liquidy. I don't even know if I threw up what I gorged on. For a while, I was doing this once a week. Then I finally put a stop to it. And then I had to go and do it again last week. It needs to stop. I don't want to turn into a full fledged bulimic. My esophagus is on fire right now. I already have acid reflux. If I keep this up, I am not going to have any esophagus left. I am very angry at myself for engaging in vomiting again.

I am sick of my brain. I know that there are many things in my life where I feel the complete opposite of what "normal" people feel, but I truly wish that something other than a chemical imbalancement is what is behind my whole being. A brain tumor, a nervous system disorder, whatever- anything is better than saying "oh no, my serotonin/dopamine/whatever the fuck is behind it are all off". It's a sick, sad thing to say, but I want to have an MRI or whatever done and be told there is a brain tumor or lesion or something. Anything to explain this abrupt nasty change in me. Until then....where the hell is that Q-Tip?

Quote Of The Day

Darren Hayes on Clive Owen:

....he's obviously very handsome....

Darren has excellent taste in men, although I would argue that "handsome" does not justify Clive Owen. His voice alone makes me wanna tear his clothes off with my teeth.

My God, he is such a handsome man. Why? Why?! WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE GAY?!

Speaking of Darren, I noticed that just like with Deee-Lite, any mention of a reunion of Savage Garden is met with hostility. It annoys me when bands break up and they won't say why. Why can't they just give some sort of reason? They don't need to be specific. If Deee-Lite broke up due to Dmitry and Lady Miss Kier, fine, then why can't they just say they broke up because of problems between the two of them? We don't need exact details. Just some sort of reasoning. I think fans have a right to know why their favorite groups broke up because last time I checked, they would have never made it as a band if it wasn't for the fans!

Speaking of annoying things, I saw a comment on Lady Miss Kier's Facebook page (at least, it claims to be really hers; it does seem to kind of check out) that once again compared Lady Gaga to her. Every time I see their names together in a sentence, I get stabby. Am I blind or something? I don't see how they can be compared! This looks nothing like this! Lady Miss Kier looks pretty normal. Can't say the same for Lady Gaga. If you put that outfit on Lady Miss Kier, she would make it look good. And Lady Miss Kier wouldn't need to wear that freaking net thing over her face. Stop freaking comparing them, although I do have to say that comparing Lady Miss Kier and Lady Gaga is a fraction better than the absolutely preposterous comparison of Deee-Lite and Paramore I once saw. What, they both die their hair red and are the only chicks in the group? OMG it's like they're freaking twins! (Yeah. I don't think so.)

That is still not the worst comparison. If I ever dare see one comparison of Lady Miss Kier to that piece of smelly ass trash Kesha- notice I do not put the dollar sign in her name because symbols do not belong in names- I will go absolutely postal.

Good God. I was starting to like Lady Gaga, but now she is just starting to get on my nerves. I seen the video for "Telephone" the other night and....WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? The video didn't even have anything to do with the song! How does a song about not wanting to pick up a call churn out a video that Quentin Tarantino would get a boner over? The song is pretty good, with the exception of Beyonce. Speaking of annoying people....

Video Of The Day

I have to stop and drop everything I am doing and watch this video every time I catch it on Vh-1 Soul; Sade is absolutely incredible, like the British version of Lady Miss Kier:

The Webpage Of The Day

Cue the heavenly music! The Goddess herself has released a blog!

Notes From The Road Miss Lady Kier

This is going right in to my Blogs I Like To Stalk section.

You all do realize my worship of her on here is grossly overexaggerated, right? I certainly think she is the coolest person on earth, but it's not like I am out hunting down where she lives or leaving dead rats in her mailbox or anything. Give me some credit here! I am not that insane.

HOWEVER....if she were to appoint me her official stalker, I would gladly accept. You shan't be disappointed! *whistles "Every Breath You Take" while cleaning off binoculars*

Speaking of which, I am reading Good Times, Bad Boys and there was a part where the main character mentions her ex is watching Futurama and several pages later, she wakes up and puts Vh-1 on and mentions that there is a one hit wonder special on and all I could think is if I go to the next page and there is mention of "Groove Is In The Heart", this book is automatically getting 4 stars just for referencing two of my favorite things in the world. Not that "Groove" is even my favorite song, but it's still a Deee-Lite reference, ain't it? And sure enough, it was.

Did I Miss Something?

Truthfully, I have wondered that everyday for the past god knows how many years, but lately, the number of times a day I have been thinking said thought has greatly increased.

Yesterday, I went to Wal-Fart and I had to pee like there was no tomorrow so I go to the bathroom and when I walk in, there is this ghetto looking tween thing in there, posing and holding her phone up to the mirror. She was taking a picture of herself in the mirror. WTF is the point of that?

I also recently discovered STFU, Parents and I just don't get the minds of parents today. They are all so fucking weird! Pregnancy has turned into a complete and utter state of weirdness. Now I know I am weird, but I don't get these women who are proud of their pregnant bellies. Making casts or taking naked photos and such. It's gross! If I ever decided to get pregnant, I think I would vomit every time I had to look at my ever expanding gut. Pregnant guts make me want to vomit. I can't stand how in movies and stuff if the character is pregnant, she always has to touch it or rub it or something. It's so annoying. Yes, we see you are fucking pregnant and I fail to see how rubbing it is somehow "bonding". Don't even get me started on when I actually see it in person. And if someone says "pregnant tummy" or "baby bump", I get downright borderline homicidal.

I don't care if some "miracle of God" is in there, it is not cute or sexy or whatever people want to call it nowadays. And they take like 8 million pictures of themselves pregnant. I am lucky if I can find 6 pictures of my mother pregnant with me. There are a few at her baby shower, but I can barely tell she is even pregnant. There's the infamous Thanksgiving one, where she is freaking huge, which is bizarre because my mom only gained 15 pounds and 7 pounds 8 oz of that was me. According to my mom, she was never real big and then about a month before I was due, she got huge.

And everytime I see these new pregnant women parking or parents with small children parking, I could scream. Pregnancy is not a handicap! No wonder pregnant women are so fucking fat nowadays. They not only assume that it is okay for them to eat 75,000 calories a day (and then whine when they develop gestational diabetes and are fat as hell after giving birth), but now they apparently can't walk either. Give me a break. Pregnant women have been getting by without these ridiculous parking spots for years. A little exercise will not kill you! Unless your doctor tells you not to. In that case, stay the hell home! For pete's sake, there are countries where women give birth in the middle of fucking rice paddies and go right back to work!

And don't even get me started on the new age of people who think simply that by becoming a parent, no rule or law applies to them. I already touched on it briefly and the thought of it just makes my blood boil. I went to the pet store in the Moorestown Mall before Christmas and....well, before I start the story, that place pisses me the hell off. Every single time I go in there, there is a young girl that works there and every single time I see her, she is either texting on her cellphone or talking on her cellphone. Wow, way to be a good employee, bitch. And yet I cannot get hired anywhere? I don't even text! Or talk on my phone that often. Anyway, there is a big sign that says no one under 18 is allowed to handle the dogs and I am looking in the bin at some puppies and this little kid- maybe 5 at the most- comes over and starts whining to his dad about something and the dad reaches in and pulls a puppy out and he starts to lower it and I figure he is going to let the kid pet it. No. He hands the puppy to the kid. And then to piss me off even more, the sister- who is even younger than the boy- comes over and she has a puppy in her arms! I stormed out of the store because I wanted to go absolute apeshit on the guy.

I have heard of women in the past who have severe problems menstrually (is that even a word? it is now) are told to become pregnant and it will ease up the problems down the line. I have a lot of trouble every month and would give my left foot to have a hysterectomy, but if a doctor ever told me that I needed to get pregnant to ease the problems, I would tell the doctor to go to hell. As much as I hate my period, at least I know that will end sometime down the line, even though that is about another 24 freaking years, depending on how things go (my luck I will have mine until I am about 75). A child, no. That is forever.

Speaking of kids, I have also come to realize, after exposure to many other women's reaction, that I must have lost my "OMG ITS A BABY!!!!" gene. Roughly 99.9% of the women I am acquainted with go absolutely ballistic over the sight of babies. Not me. Once upon a time, I did. But now I feel nothing. Every once in a while I come across a baby that I might fuss over or I might freak out over baby clothes, but its very rare. I am even well aware of them screaming and crying is due to them not knowing any better, but it still annoys me. If I am in a store and a baby starts wailing its head off, I want to scream. I can't stand it. I would make the absolute worst mother. If my baby started to scream and cry, I would probably just hand it to the father and tell him to deal with it. I'd make a bad wife as well. Oh you're sick? Tough shit. You had surgery? Cry me a river.

God, I am a horrible person.

In all honesty....I don't even think I like most babies, let along kids. I know plenty of women who see pregnant women and talk about how they can't wait for that to be them. Not me. I see pregnant women and after my first thought (which is generally along the lines of oh great another moron breeding), I am ecstatic it is not me. So, no. My hatred towards pregnant women is not one of jealousy or any of that bullcrap spewed when one states they hate pregnant women. I am not aware of any fertility problems, since I have never had sex. I would not be upset if I did have fertility problems. Imagine how that statement would go over people having fertility problems but actually want children. Probably as well as me telling someone who has what I want that I want what they have. WAH! Priceless. I can tell you right now that pregnancy scares me more than an STD. Traditional STDs, I mean. I view pregnancy as an STD, but I am referring to the ones we learn about in sex ed (provided you had it), i.e., syphillis, gonorrhea, etc.

Puppies, though, are a whole other story. I get all teary eyed when I see puppies and forget even showing me a picture of newborn ones all cuddled up together with their brothers and sisters.

It is Day 5 of my father no longer working and yes, my mother and I are already about to lose our minds. My father has become an absolute lazy slob. He does nothing. After dinner, my mother and I always get stuck cleaning up. While he sits his fat ass and watches TV. Right before he went to bed, I heard him washing dishes and thought, thank God I don't have to wash any of the dishes in the sink, since I get stuck cleaning all of the dishes every night before I go to bed. I go out to get a soda and much to my surprise, find my mom's and my 2 bowls in the sink and all of his dishes washed and in the drain. I lost count of how many curse words came out of my mouth. After dinner tonight, my mother ran next door to a neighbors and I went to do my own thing after washing several dishes from dinner. Hey, he never does anything so I figured let him clean up the damn rest of the dishes. I come out a few hours later and find 4 pieces of silverware and a cup in the drain and all of the oven pans still out and nothing put back on the stove.

We went to dinner on New Years Day and my father was telling my sister's boyfriend about the things he came home with after leaving and then he made some comment about the company owing him. Owe him what exactly? The fat bastard has had 30 years of free health benefits- which he will continue to get for the rest of his life, a pension, and various other benefits and they owe him? Nope. Sorry, Dad. They don't owe you fucking shit.

Better yet, go tell the customers of the company who are going to have to pay an extra $170 a year in rates so your fat ass can sit home and get benefits while retired that the company owes you. See how well that goes over.

My father is someone who thinks that just because he can that he should. He thinks because he can retire that he should retire. But honestly, with the mess he got himself into, he has no business retiring. He should be out working and paying off his fucking bills. He needs to lie in the fucking bed he made.

And one more thought before bed. I read an article on the oh so scandelous catsuit J.Lo wore on New Years Eve (she didn't look horrible, but that outfit did absolutely nothing for her except bring her such massive amounts of criticism), but this part got to me:

"Everyone is trying to outdo each other now. These stars realize they can't be naked so they resort to this, even though body suits are not flattering and are not cool," said celebrity stylist Mary Alice Stephenson. "Cher is really the only one who could get away with it."

Cher is the only one who get away with it?

Ugh, I am starting to feel like Peter Griffin and his Mark Harmon picture every time I have to do this, but....there is someone else in the world who could get away with catsuits, bitch!

Is it wrong to say that I would die to see a picture of her dressed like Catwoman? And I don't mean the trashy looking Catwoman Halle Berry played.

And speaking of one being the only one to get away with something, I heard a commercial for American Idol the other day and there was some cover version of "Time Of Our Lives" by Paul van Dyk playing in the background and....no. Absolutely not. The only person who can perform that song is Paul and whoever the lead singer of Vega4 is.

And one more note- I am reading True Lies Of A Drama Queen and aside from the fact that Elle Medina is one of the most annoying characters I have ever been acquainted with in a chick lit book....I just want one person, that is all I ask, to explain to me what is so bloody fascinating about Vera Wang wedding dresses. Every single freaking chick lit book I read, every chick flick I see, there is always at least a few mentions of the infamous Vera Wang wedding dresses. Do they give you nice hair and clear skin on your wedding day? Do they automatically take off the amount of pounds you want to lose? What? What is it? What is just OMGZ so freaking awesome about these dresses that a less expensive dress can't fullfill?

Also, while you are at it, explain to me the fascination with Tiffany's as well. I looked through their catalog before and I still failed to see what is so fascinating about this place as well.

The WTF Of The Day

Killer Tripped Up by His Own Baggy Pants

Dumbass, although frankly, I don't know who is the biggest dumbass here- the killer who killed himself with his own pants or the moronic hyperpoliticos flooding the comment section. It has nothing to do with the story, you pack of blockheads!

Man, what a stupid way to die.

And speaking of WTF, I went on the Facebook fanpage for Lady Miss Kier and someone actually had the gall to write 4 simple words that are, quite frankly, outrageous:

The original Lady GaGa!

Look, I do believe that Lady Gaga has talent and I do actually like a couple songs by her and I will actually defend her and say that while she is not the most attractive person on earth, she isn't that ugly (I'm curious to see how many people declare her ugly and call Miley Cyrus attractive; I don't like to go after people's looks much, but good God, that entire family looks like they were beaten with an ugly stick....I have seen pictures of Lady Gaga where I could almost call her pretty. In a bizarre way.), although I do not get such bizarre attire because it is not like she doesn't have the voice to back her up unlike 99.9% of the crap passed as musicians today (I mean, I am all for weird, but there is a limit and dressing like a bloody tampon surpasses that limit) but.....NO! No way in fucking hell can you ever dare compare her to Lady Miss Kier! ABSOLUTELY NOT! First off, Lady Miss Kier was not anywhere near as weird as Lady Gaga, second, Deee-Lite was not as mainstream and third, Deee-Lite's music had some kind of message to society. What Lady Gaga's is is beyond me, besides telling us to just dance. I know she likes to act like her music is all deep and meaningful and shit, but I have yet to hear any kind of real message to society. The only things the 2 have in common is the name Lady in front of their name, they are both a supporter of gay rights, and they write their own music.

The Bitch, Please!/Quote Of The Day

Because dumb things come out of her mouth at almost the same speed as Sarah Palin, Megan Fox on being too pretty:

Girls think I'm a slut, and I've been in the same relationship since I was 18. The problem is, if they think you're attractive, you're either stupid or a whore or a dumb whore. The instinct among girls is to attack the jugular.

That's one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. I guess every celebrity I find attractive I am just jealous? I think Lady Miss Kier is the most beautiful woman in history, so I guess that means I think she is dumb? Or a whore? HELL NO! Anyone with half a brain could see how much my almost-frightening worship of her can prove the little adage of being "jealous of someone for being beautiful" is WRONG WRONG WRONG. How could I be jealous? Okay. I can't lie- maybe a little. I totally wish I had the body and the guts to wear half the shit she wore (and still wears). But I still don't bash her. What's there to bash? Now or back in the day? This woman is [allegedly] 46. She looks fucking awesome for her age! Will Megan Fox be able to say the same thing- what is she 23?- 23 years from now? Or if she gains weight? Probably not.

No, honey. The reason people think you are dumb is because dumb things like this are constantly coming out of your mouth. To the point where one has to wonder if it's all a big publicity stunt or if you really and truly are that stupid. The only semi-smart thing that ever came out of your mouth was the little ditty on middle America. I still can't see what is so OMGZ SO HAWT about this girl anyway. She looks like every dumb cunt I went to high school with that wasn't blonde.

And while I am on the topic of dumb people, I might as as well post the quote of the day. Huffington Post user RobertfromMN on Sarah Palin's new book:

Do the crayons come with this book, or does one have to buy them separately?

I have come across a few excerpts of her book and all it sounds like is a four hundred plus pages of pure grade A whining. This person made me look bad, that person made me look like an idiot, the big bad librul media is out to get me all the time, I hate Katie Couric WAHHHHHHHHHH!

Damn! And I thought I whined alot!

The WTF Of The Day

Katy Perry on being a judge on American Idol:

I don't want to break their hearts, but how many of us know that one person who has been trying and trying....and nobody has told them they can't sing in pitch- for like 15 years....You're like somebody needs to say something and unfortunately I might be that gal to tell you the truth

Yes Katy, because you're exactly the person to tell someone else they can't sing.

Tell me something- where exactly does this chick come off thinking that she can just sing so goddamn wonderfully? I don't know who was the clown that decided to give Katy Perry a record deal, but they seriously need to have their hearing checked. Every single time I hear any piece of shit she sings, I think how on earth did this chick get a record deal? She has a voice that basically most of the human population has. There is nothing spectacular about it at all. I wish I could remember where I read it- probably D-Listed at one point- where someone labeled her (get ready, PC people, to get your pantaloonies in a bunch) a "retarded Zooey Deschanel", except 1) Zooey is a hell of a lot prettier and 2) Zooey has a little something called "talent" when she sings. You kissed a girl and had to sing about it? Big fucking deal. So did Jill Sobule. Where the hell is the person that needs to say something to her besides the general population?

But then again this is a world where Kate Gosselin's ugly face is plastered all over the news simply for the sheer fact that she did something millions of other women do (had babies or been cheated on- take your pick), Sarah Palin was considered "qualified" to be vice president, and Miley Cyrus is apparently considered a Vh-1 diva. Seriously. If Vh-1 needs a diva, then I suggest Lady Miss Kier. If she is not a diva, then I have no idea what a diva is. Miley Cyrus can only dream of ever being an eighth of the diva Lady Miss Kier is. Who gives a rat's ass if Deee-Lite isn't around anymore? She could probably get up on stage and blow them all out of the water. That bitch is still hot! How many of the people in Hollywood nowadays could still look that hot even after gaining weight?

God! Why does nothing make any sense anymore?

The Bitch, Please! Of The Day

Quotes on the murder of abortion doctor George Tiller.

Said the Rev. Patrick Mahoney, an anti-abortion activist: "No one should use this tragedy for political gain."

Like the religious right wouldn't use something similar to this for political gain.

"George Tiller was a mass murderer and we cannot stop saying that," Terry said. "He was an evil man — his hands were covered with blood."

The hands of the man who murdered Tiller are also covered in blood. Dislike what Tiller does, fine, whatever. But he is still a life! You know- an actual living, breathing, moving being. An actual being with fully developed organs and that can survive pretty much on it's own. A life that I would think, in the eyes of these asshole anti-abortionists, is still a life created by God.

"I'd hope they wouldn't try to broad-brush the entire pro-life movement as some sort of extremist movement because of what happened in Wichita," Mahoney said.

We don't need to have it broad-brushed. Most of them are extremists.

And last but not least, the one I have been meaning to write for days, some dude named Mandela (not Nelson) on Lady Miss Kier:

She has a wonderful, strong spirit. I only wish her esthetics were as strong.

Okay, I find multiple definitions of esthetics, but judging by the definition I primarily find...her esthetics weren't strong? Look, I know that I put this woman on an unbelievably high pedastal and she can almost do absolutely no wrong, but....bitch, what are you talking about?

Look, if you really wanna know a secret, my putting of her on a pedastal isn't quite as high as I portray because no matter how much I worship someone, I still can always find at least one negative thing with them. For instance, I hate that she smokes. Sure, it's her prerogative and all that, but smoking still makes someone less appealing. Plus, I find it kind of hypocritical to sing about dreaming of falling through holes in the ozone layer....and you smoke?

And also- I am kind of afraid to admit this- I never really thought she was that great of a dancer. Good, but then some of the moves she did, I thought is she dancing or leading an aerobics class?

Random Thoughts

Tasty Deee-Lite | TMZ.com

I just looked at that picture again and I realized that her shirt (or dress, probably dress) looks like its covered in those balloons clowns use to make balloon animals. I swear, that woman can make anything look good on her. If she came out in a Hefty Hefty Hefty trashbag, she would probably look fucking awesome in it. I watched the clip of them on Vh-1's Greatest Songs of the 90s and I noticed that the dude from What Not To Wear was a commentator and I wondered what he thought of her style back then, and then I wondered what his co-host Stacy London would say about her style. Bitch would probably rip it apart. And do you know what I say to that? BITCH, PLEASE!

I went down the shore over the weekend and even this early in the season, I still managed to get some sunburn. After last summer, and many previous summers, and in addition to being pale, if I develop skin cancer one of these days, I will not be surprised. Other than that, it wasn't too bad of a weekend. Although I thought the shore would be a lot more empty. But it wasn't. Because it was fucking cheerleading competition weekend. Cheerleaders are annoying, and the younger they are, the more annoying they get. If it weren't for the oh-so-obvious "cheerleader" on most of their uniforms and the big ridiculous bows in their hair, I would have thought I was looking at a bunch of midget whores. Awful lot of fat cheerleaders anymore, too. Kind of gross to have to look at the big rolls of fat sticking out of their cut-out uniforms. And the mothers are even worse. You can tell that cheerleading moms fall into two categories: 1. they were former cheerleaders themselves and are now massively fat or 2. they wanted to be cheerleaders, but weren't thin or pretty enough to make the squad so now they force their daughter to live their dream. Just like those pathetic mothers that force their daughters to do child beauty pageants.

My bitterness towards cheerleading is a lot more complex. If I had to explain what it is, then I would have to reveal something else that I would prefer to not reveal. I can assure you it has absolutely nothing to do with ever wanting to be a cheerleader (I never did, except briefly in high school until I went to the try-out meeting and almost had a massive stroke trying to suppress my laughter at the coach with her whole "cheerleading is life!" spiel).

The Bitch, Please! Of The Day

Lindsay Blames Lack of Work on Fans

Really? She can't get work because of her fans? She wouldn't have ever been anything if it weren't for her fans! I can't believe she even still has any.

Lindsay, please do the world a favor and just overdose already.

And something else that makes me scratch my head- how is it that a person can actually stand and say Beth Ditto is hot and then call Lady Miss Kier huge? It would take like 3 or 4 of her to equal Beth Ditto. Come on, people. Lady Miss Kier is not that big. Beth Ditto, on the other hand, is disgusting. I do have to give credit to people who are fat and comfortable with themselves because I never have and never will, but....my God, there is a limit.

Here Comes Another Failure!

I have that job interview on Monday (I originally had it for last Monday but I had to reschedule) and I am in no way, no how even remotely prepared for this. I can't even think of questions that could possibly be asked. Last time I had the questions all planned out, I was thrown for a loop and asked questions I have never been asked before in my life (it could ruin my chances of ever securing a job with them, but Target asks the most ridiculous questions in their interviews; I can normally keep my cool, but by the middle of the interview, I was ready to stand up and scream "are you fucking kidding me? All this to stand around and fold clothes? A fucking monkey could do this job!". It just completely blew my mind that a stupid mediocre job like that could be so hard to obtain, especially when I see so many fucking morons working there.)

I don't know how I went all through school and I came out with absolutely no knowledge of how to do a job interview (I had 2 during high school, but they just asked me a couple of questions and I was hired). I don't know how to "sell myself". I don't know why you should hire me. Put me to work and find out for yourself why I should be hired. You will not be disappointed. Unless you are expecting me to do brain surgery. Not only will you not hire me, but you will also be sued.

And one of the things that ALWAYS gets me is "do you have any questions?". Every single one I have just flys the coop. And then I think of them several hours later.

And some people tell me they will help me prepare for it, but boyfriend is more important. I don't care that my sister has a boyfriend; he is nice (when he feels like it; most of the time he is just miserable as shit), but she is one of these people who will automatically change for a guy and put him above everyone else. Maybe I am wrong, but I grew up with the notion to never, ever put anyone above family (unless family is a bad thing, of course). When my sister has a boyfriend, she will barely ever hang out with me and if we make plans, she will ask me- right in front of him-if he can come along. What am I supposed to say? And if he isn't around, she will rush everything so she can get home to him. BUT- and this has happened with every past boyfriend, if they break up, she is right around, wanting to hang out all the time. She even told me with her last boyfriend that she invited me to come along because she didn't want to hang out with him alone (their relationship started to get tense towards the end). In other words, I was being used. I got used enough by friends in high school; I don't need my own sister doing it as well.

She just promised to help me prepare for it and when I said something the other day she completely blew me off. I got this instead- "please, you are being spoon-fed this job!".

Sorry, I have been in a really bad mood, for different reasons. One, I really don't know why. Two, because after repeated attempts of telling a friend I do not want any political email, I received another yesterday, whining about how the liberals are trying to destroy religion. After losing my temper, I just decided the hell with it and banned him from emailing me. I warned him once and I warned him twice. Three strikes you are outta here. I hardly want to hear this kind of shit coming from a man who cheated on his wife over the internet. I was one of the few who actually stayed talking to him and he couldn't just do me that one goddamn favor.

Ugh, how I wish the world would end already. The whole reaction to that stupid Bachelor show the other night just further fueled the fire that I wish it would happen. People honestly think that show is real? Really? Unbelievable. I feel absolutely no ounce of sympathy for the pathetic cunts who go on the show. I love the ones who are like "oh, I haven't even met him nor do I know anything about him, but I already know he is my soulmate!".

Ugh! And then to make everything worse, it's daylight savings time weekend! That gives me one less hour to prepare for this interview. Oh, and I just signed into my secondary Myspace account and received a message that one of my pictures has been deleted because young users use Myspace. It was a Deee-Lite picture. First off, the picture is in an album only viewable by me. I keep them there for back-up. Second, no one is naked in the picture. She has a shirt on! I have seen less clothing on teenagers than this picture. I don't know if it has anything to do with what she is doing in the picture, although what that is is not very clear.

Amazingly enough, the picture where Lady Miss Kier is actually naked, covered up appropriately though, is still there! That was the one I thought was deleted.

Stupid fucking kids. They shouldn't even be on computers in the first place.

Random Thoughts

I am currently reading Something Blue by Emily Giffin and just like Trading Up, this book is a chore to read. The author is a good writer, but the main character, who I disliked in Something Borrowed, is extremely unlikable. Just like that character in that Lauren Weisberger book (I can't even remember the name of it), Darcy Rhone is a Janey Wilcox-lite. Easily one of the most vain characters I have ever read. I'd like to punch the character in her face.

I have read plenty of the so-called "chick lit" books and the more I read, the more I am starting to get annoyed. The constant brand name dropping is annoying. No one can ever just look at their watch; they have to look at their Rolex or Cartier watch. They cannot just feel someone's bones through their coat; they feel someone's bones through their Burberry trench coat. Okay, we get it. If I could read just one chick lit book that does not mention Tiffany's, Manolo Blahniks, or Jimmy Choos, I think I would die of shock. Not all of us women are that fascinated with those things. I love jewelry, especially diamonds, but for the most part, I don't care where it comes from.

Ugh, if I could go one day without having to hear something about Lindsay Lohan, I think I would die of shock (again). Seriously- does anyone even care what she does anymore? I had to laugh one night on TV she said she lost weight because she has been working a lot. What the hell does she do? Is it really that difficult to pretend to be a lesbian?

I read an article earlier about songs that were originally written for someone, but someone else ended up singing it and a lot of the comments have the same basis- only true artists/musicians write and perform their own songs. I wonder if I were to go on and mention Deee-Lite what the response would be. I don't think many people realize, except true fans, that all their songs were written by them. Lady Miss Kier wrote all the lyrics and a few were co-written by Dmitry. They did sample (and gave the credit; Lady Miss Kier was not fond of people sampling and not giving credit), but other than that, everything was written by them. They weren't good enough for mainstream America, but they were without a doubt, true musicians.

Yeah, I just realized I mentioned that already. Oh well. Never hurts to reiterate it.

I could watch that video over and over. Lady Miss Kier is absolutely GORGEOUS in that video. Very old school movie actress. I love listening to her talk, too. Sophisticated and sultry, yet there is still an urban infliction. I wonder who the 47 different artists are that have sampled them.

If you have not caught Vh-1's Black to the Future, do make sure you do. It's hilarious. I love all those crazy shows, like I Love The 80's and all that.

Steele Takes On Rush Limbaugh: "Ugly," "Incendiary" (VIDEO)

But....I thought Democrats were the ones with no backbones.