The WTF Of The Day

Perino: No Terrorist Attacks In America Under Bush (VIDEO)

9/11? What is that? Isn't that a date?

Quote Of The Day

From the "Making a Difference" poster:

A small boy lived by the ocean. He loved the creatures of the sea, especially the starfish, and spent much of his time exploring the seashore. One day he learned there would be a minus tide that would leave the starfish stranded on the sand. The day of the tide he went down to the beach and began picking up stranded starfish and tossing them back into the sea. An elderly man who lived next door came down to the beach to see what he was doing. "I'm saving the starfish," the boy proudly declared. When the neighbor saw all of the stranded starfish, he shook his head and said "I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man, buf if you look down the beach one way, there are stranded starfish as far as the eye can see. And if you look down the beach the other way, it's the same. One little boy like you isn't going to make much of a difference." The boy thought about this for a moment. Then he reached his small hand down to the sand, picked up a starfish, tossed it out into the ocean and said, "I sure make a difference for that one."

Quote Of The Day

D-Listed user Dushieblue, on MTV:

Does MTV even play any music at all? I ask because I stopped watching tv about a year ago, and then it was all about rich cunts running around and making viewers rethink eugenics.

Video Of The Day

"Do You Wanna Funk" by Sylvester:

The Bitch, Please! Of The Day

Robert Pattinson: 'I Work As Hard As A Doctor'

Let me get this straight....you work as hard as a doctor because you work 50 hours a week? Do you have times where you are on call for 24 hours? Do you deal with greedy insurance companies on a daily basis? So I guess if you were to make a mistake, someone's life would be in your hands, right?

Good news, Robert! I know what you can work hard at getting. It's called a clue!

The WTF Of The Day

DJ AM's Estate Files A Wrongful Death Lawsuit

The plane crash caused him to commit suicide? That's it. Brain, I am officially filing legal action against you. I think I will go for "emotional distress".

God, I am so sick of stupid lawsuits! If I ever became president (try not to shudder), the first thing I would do is ban lawyers. The lawsuits I read about every day are absolutely preposterous. Some aren't, but most are just a big case of people not watching what the hell they are doing!

Some of the stupidity I see when I am out is just absolutely mind blowing. When I was on vacation, our hotel had a gym and every morning, my sister and I went and worked out. The gym was small- the few machines they had were in a straight line down in this order: 3 ellipiticals, 2 bikes, and 3 treadmills. One day, this woman comes in with her son, who was maybe 8 at the most. I was on one of the treadmills and I see the kid climb on the one next to me and next thing I know, Mommy Dearest starts the machine up for him. I mean, there wasn't a big huge sign on the wall that said "No one under 18 allowed" or anything to be followed. And you just know, had something happened to that kid, she would have sued. Why are parents so dumb nowadays?

And I am honestly expected to do jury duty on Wednesday? Does the idea of me possibly being a part- albeit small, but still a part- determining someone's fate not instill major fear?

Oh, how fitting- "Fuddy Duddy Judge" just came on.

Webpage Of The Day

I think I just found one of the best webpages in existence. This webpage is, without doubt, about the closest thing to describing my feelings on children, babies, pregnant women, insane parents, and the whole let's make the world revolve around children schtick. It's an absolute heaven send to find that there is at least one other person in the world who feels this way:

Childfree Clique

Also, here is another good one; the writer makes mountains of Simpsons references so that in itself deserves a great big fat AWESOME:

11 Points

The Bitch, Please!/Quote Of The Day

Because dumb things come out of her mouth at almost the same speed as Sarah Palin, Megan Fox on being too pretty:

Girls think I'm a slut, and I've been in the same relationship since I was 18. The problem is, if they think you're attractive, you're either stupid or a whore or a dumb whore. The instinct among girls is to attack the jugular.

That's one of the dumbest things I have ever heard. I guess every celebrity I find attractive I am just jealous? I think Lady Miss Kier is the most beautiful woman in history, so I guess that means I think she is dumb? Or a whore? HELL NO! Anyone with half a brain could see how much my almost-frightening worship of her can prove the little adage of being "jealous of someone for being beautiful" is WRONG WRONG WRONG. How could I be jealous? Okay. I can't lie- maybe a little. I totally wish I had the body and the guts to wear half the shit she wore (and still wears). But I still don't bash her. What's there to bash? Now or back in the day? This woman is [allegedly] 46. She looks fucking awesome for her age! Will Megan Fox be able to say the same thing- what is she 23?- 23 years from now? Or if she gains weight? Probably not.

No, honey. The reason people think you are dumb is because dumb things like this are constantly coming out of your mouth. To the point where one has to wonder if it's all a big publicity stunt or if you really and truly are that stupid. The only semi-smart thing that ever came out of your mouth was the little ditty on middle America. I still can't see what is so OMGZ SO HAWT about this girl anyway. She looks like every dumb cunt I went to high school with that wasn't blonde.

And while I am on the topic of dumb people, I might as as well post the quote of the day. Huffington Post user RobertfromMN on Sarah Palin's new book:

Do the crayons come with this book, or does one have to buy them separately?

I have come across a few excerpts of her book and all it sounds like is a four hundred plus pages of pure grade A whining. This person made me look bad, that person made me look like an idiot, the big bad librul media is out to get me all the time, I hate Katie Couric WAHHHHHHHHHH!

Damn! And I thought I whined alot!

I Can See Dumb People From My House!

Even Fox News Fact-Checks Palin's Claims About Dollar Coin

NELSON!

Oh Stuff Your Political Correctness Up Your Ass!

Is all political correctness bad? No. Obviously referring to someone as black or African American as opposed to- and I am using an example from Urban Dictionary's definition- "god-damn cotton-pickin' [insert n word]" is a good example of being PC. I know I have complained about it before, but it irritated me earlier when reading an article and I came across this gem of a comment:

Dear Popeater;

The character you are talking about is not "wheelchair-bound." He is not "confined to a wheelchair." He happens to be a person using a wheelchair. You'd think people who are so up on pop culture would be past using archaic language about people with disabilities.

Is it sarcasm? I don't know. But if not....good God. Shut up. Seriously. Just STFU.

And for the record, I have gone over the article 3 times and I did not see "confined to a wheelchair" anywhere.

People are so goddamn whiny. One group complains, a company pleases them, and then someone else whines. Catering to some whiny ass PCer just opens up a huge can of worms.

I remember a few years back, blind people complained about there being no Braille on money and while I will not argue that it certainly makes sense, you just know that had it become a bigger thing, it would have become an all out complain fest. Blacks and other races would complain there are no other races on money, women would complain there are no women on money, and colorblind people would complain over the money being green.

Actually, I think the thing that pissed me off the most about the blind people complaining was simply this- what the hell took them so long to complain?!

Lyrics Of The Day

Once upon a time, long before Disney was raped by Michael Eisner, they actually made good movies. With that said...."Pink Elephants on Parade" from Dumbo:

Look out! Look out!
Pink elephants on parade
Here they come!
Hippety hoppety
They're here and there
Pink elephants ev'rywhere

Look out! Look out!
They're walking around the bed
On their head
Clippety cloppety
Arrayed in braid
Pink elephants on parade

What'll I do? What'll I do?
What an unusual view!

I could stand the sight of worms
And look at microscopic germs
But technicolor pachyderms
Is really much for me

I am not the type to faint
When things are odd
Or things are quaint
But seeing things you know that ain't
Can certainly give you an awful fright!
What a sight!

Chase 'em away!
Chase 'em away!
I'm afraid need your aid
Pink elephants on parade!
Pink elephants!
Pink elephants!

Which reminds me. I was going through some old archives and I came across the January 30th, 2009 posting and in it I stated that if the Deee-Lite video disappears, I will scream. Since said video was yanked by WMG....*screams* (think Fry finding out who is grandfather is)

Video Of The Day

"Life In Technicolor II" by Coldplay:

Coldplay - Life In Technicolor ii (HD)

Video Of The Day

It's low and it's flat out wrong. It's also one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time- the AIDS song from Team America:

Oh My.....

Can your baby get pregnant if you have sex while pregnant?

Holy zombie Jesus. Why does something tell me Idiocracy is a watered down version of what the future of America is going to look like? I get a chill right down to the very bone when I read stuff like this. My life could and will be in the hands of this one day?

And people wonder why I support abortion to the point that I don't even know anymore if I am pro-choice or flat out pro-abortion (although I still do not agree with people who are too stupid to use birth control, but will get knocked up 473 times and have an abortion each and every time. But look, I am already going to hell so I might as well just came out and say that I do not believe that there are enough abortions performed in this world. Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others!). And manditory sterilization. And am not entirely against guns. And suicide. And why I pray every night that I hope the Mayans alleged predicition of 2012 being the end of the world is TRUE.

The only problem I have with the alleged 12.21.12 end of the world....seriously? Two days before my birthday?

The WTF Of The Day

Rob Merkle on health care:

I believe in stopping health care. People don't want it.

So he is not just against public health care, he is against health care completely?

I can't even respond to this. I just want to laugh until I break a couple of ribs. Unfortunately, I ate so much today, I would probably just puke my face off, although at this point I would welcome it.

Quote Of The Day

Probably the first and last time you will hear me commend something that comes out of her mouth, but it's so goddamn true....Megan Fox on negotiating with a Transformer should one ever come to Earth:

I’d barter with him and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?

AH. We can only wish.

If only there was one yesterday in Washington. That tea party performance was enough to solidify my complete and utter disdain for those people. Comparing health care reform with the Holocaust. That was low, even for them. That was brutal even by my standards. And I was the one who had to spend a week in a freakin' funny farm? These assholes need to be in one. Hello, whatever Behavorial, I have a reservation for 5,000 rightwing nutcases!

Why not? Did you ever look at their signs? I'd certainly consider someone carrying a sign that says "This time we didn't bring our guns" a danger to society. God! I cannot wait until the day I see these people in hell. I hope there is a special place in hell for those low lifes.

I have to laugh at these people protesting a public option. They don't want to pay for others to have health insurance, yet costs are rising partly due to obesity. Have you ever seen the tea party folks? They're all fat lazy slobs. SOO we have to pay for them, but they don't want to pay for us.

If anyone of those people worked for me and I found out they were there protesting health care reform, I would take away their healthcare just so they can get a taste of what it is like to have no healthcare. Of what it is like to live every day in fear of something happening to you that will leave you with bills so high you have to file bankruptcy, after spending years of working your ass paying all of your bills on time. Because no one would write off my bills.

And finding a job with health benefits is almost next to impossible.

Michelle Bachmann doesn't support healthcare reform? Fine. I offer a proposal to you, Michelle. If you despise tax-payer sponsored healthcare so much, then you need to give up your own healthcare, as well as any other member of Congress who doesn't support it.

Big Government to Big Governor!

And after I made a promise to not make any fat jokes....but it's too irresistible.

I surprisingly am not too upset about Christie winning because I look at it this way- NJ is going to blow no matter who runs it. I can, however, find three positive things about Christie being elected:

1) his winning has been a good source of fat jokes on any websites I have been on (thankfully the election was a close call and not a big landslide, saving anyone from having to say he crushed his opponent; that would have provided enough jokes to last his entire term* and then some)

2) I honestly have no idea how much a governor can do on it, but....illegal immigration. I will leave it at that because I try to keep my thoughts on immigration to myself because sadly, they would make Lou Dobbs almost proud ( I say almost because I am not as rabid as him)

3) Hm. I completely forgot what the third thing was.

I did end up gritting my teeth and voting for Corzine. I honestly had no idea who was going to win the election, but I did hope that if Corzine didn't win, that please God let Daggett win!

*term is based on the normal 4 year run, not by any possibilities of being overthrown, resigning due to being a closet homosexual, dying due to obesity-related problems, or pulling a Sarah Palin after realizing his stack of skeletons weigh more than him. Damn it! Did it again!

Quote Of The Day

Look, I know I do a lot of condemning of Hollywood people putting their 2 cents in on politics and while it is annoying, I will admit that if I find out someone I appreciate leans left in nature, it does fill me with glee. That said, Billy West on Republicans:

You know, the guys that are running things. They don’t look like people that came from my generation at all. I’m as old as Karl Rove, or any of those idiots and it’s like, 'Where did you come from?' It’s still the same old geezers that hide behind religion and family values, and then they’re messing with guys in men’s rooms and scandal prone because that’s sort of what the party is famous for. I hated those guys and I didn’t grow up to be one. But then I watch all these people from my generation just suddenly morph into that and I’m still in a state of shock.

Please Collapse Already!

Catholic pastors directed to distribute anti-health reform materials at mass

Commentator LoriQ says it simple, but best:

How typical of the Catholic Church to show more concern for the unborn than the well being of the living

I hate the Catholic church more and more everyday. I am so sick of abortion being dragged into every goddamn conversation imaginable when it comes to the Catholic church. I better make sure that when I get to writing my living will (which apparently is turning to the 12th of never), that I state that I, on all grounds, refuse to have a mass at a Catholic church and I refuse to be buried in a Catholic cemetary. It's not just the extreme misogyny. It's not just the condemning homosexuals while touching little boys. It's not just the NOT stripping the priests of their priesthood, but rather sending the little boy touchers to another parrish. It's not even their ridiculous take on abortion to convince me on that. It took a story a friend of my mom's told of a priest strangling and killing a 9 year-old girl and instead of stripping him of his priesthood, they just sent him to another parrish! But abortion is wrong? Fuck them.

It's sad because I really never thought I would despise the Catholic church the way I do now. It used to irritate me when my father would rip it apart, but now I see how right he was.

And unbaptized babies go to hell? What the fuck kind of assinine thinking is that?

Keep politics out of church and keep church out of politics.

The WTF/ Bitch Please Of The Day

This from an article:

According to the Daggett campaign, a local New Jersey blog surfaced on Sunday reporting that Palin had asked the Independent to drop his bid or risk being a spoiler for Republic challenger Chris Christie's chances. Daggett mentioned the report later in the day only to have Palin deny she ever issued the threat.

Except that, in the course of her denial, the 2008 vice presidential candidate made it fairly clear that she would, indeed, prefer Daggett to drop out. "To the good people of New Jersey," she wrote, on her Facebook page, "please know that Daggett's claims are false. I've never even suggested he should drop out of the race. But, come to think of it..."

The whirling story lines caused confusion among followers of the race. But, by the end of Sunday, the implication, at least for the Daggett campaign, seemed abundantly clear: Palin had joined the rest of the tea-party crowd -- and former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani and Rep. Joe "You Lie" Wilson (R-S.C.) -- in trying to remove (or at least diminish) his candidacy

Excuse me? Am I reading this properly?

Who exactly do these people think they are to butt into our election? Mind your own fucking business! Rudy, go back to cross dressing. Joe, put a piece of duct tape over your mouth.

And you, Sarah! Little Miss Quit Her Own Term, probably because you know damn well that the skeletons in your closet would absolutely slaughter you should they ever get out! The nerve of you to tell someone else to quit!

Ugh, I swear to God, if I ever meet John McCain, I am going to bitch slap him so hard across the face for ever releasing this monster on us.

Speaking of the election, I am stumped on who to vote for. I honestly take back all of the ripping I did on anyone who has been an undecided voter. Definitely not Christie, that's for sure. It's between Corzine and Daggett. I was going for Daggett initially, but somehow all the time I read on his views, I missed the parts of tax cuts for the wealthy and he does not support a public option. Unless what I read was lying. I have to double check.

On the other hand....I'd like to see how a third party candidate would run the state.

Quote Of The Day

Audubon resident and author K. Scott Schaeffer, on gay marriage and religion:

The No. 1 reason is there aren't many Bible verses addressing it -- Homosexuality is not the mega issue of the Bible. It gets four Bible quotes, whereas greed and oppression of the poor gets 107 verses in the Bible. That's the mega issue of the Bible, and yet a lot of Christians today and our politics are supporting the greed and the interests of the wealthy and the powerful and their greed, but we're acting like homosexuality is issue No. 1.

Lyrics Of The Day

"The Sound Of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel:

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
Beneath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one deared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools," said I, "you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the signs said the words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of silence