Ugh

My entire area is under a tropical storm warning, as what is currently hurricane Isaias is expected to hit tomorrow. Heavy rains, high winds, possible tornadoes....should be a fun day in work.

ETA 9:30PM: That was an eventful day. I was a nervous wreck for most of the morning, especially after this tornado watch was issued....FFS, look at the probability of two or more tornadoes. I saw numerous tornado warnings pop up, but luckily my area escaped any. We had a lot of rain and wind, but that was about it.

Now maybe tonight I can get a good night's sleep. I slept terribly last night, between worrying about Isaias and the ginormous thunderstorm that rolled through around 2:30.

Ugh

I don't know what seems to cause it (lack of sleep, etc), but I tend to have good and then really bad days with my anxiety/OCD levels. Today is the latter. A very bad one.

And to top it off, my area is under a severe weather threat today, with a high wind warning and a tornado watch, so that's only adding to my already high anxiety levels.

Scheisse!

I am not even sure I got 3 hours of sleep last night.  One, it was Sunday night, so I was having my typical Sunday night insomnia.  Two, it was about 500 degrees in my bedroom, and as I am someone who absolutely positively cannot sleep without something covering me, I was having an extremely difficult time trying to get comfortable without resorting to being uncovered.

But the cherry on top was my area being under an enhanced threat of severe weather pretty much all of yesterday and overnight.  Numerous tornado watches popped up all day long, and I knew eventually we were probably going to get one, but it wasn't until sometime after 1AM that NJ was placed under a tornado watch.  That made it even more difficult for me to try to fall asleep, plus I had this unrelenting anxiety that at some point my phone was going to start blaring at me with a tornado warning.  Tornadoes terrify the ever loving fuck out of me on a normal basis, but a night tornado?  Hell no.  At some point, I drifted off after 2 but was woke up not much later at around 3:35AM by a rumble of thunder.  And I immediately checked the SPC and seen that my area was under a tornado warning, set to expire at 3:45AM.  Not long after that a fairly strong thunderstorm came through.  A lot of rain, wind, and lightening, but thankfully no tornado or straight line winds or anything like that.  I sat in the living room until the storm died down, then jumped on my bike for a half hour to burn off some of the anxiety, washed off quickly and tried to relax.  I think maybe sometime around 6AM I drifted off again only to wake up about 45 minutes later.

Before I left for work, I peeked through Facebook and there were a lot of posts about people receiving loud alert messages about the tornado warning on their phones.  I never received one.  I've received alert messages in the past for flash flood warnings (many of which came when I was trying to fall alseep in bed, scared the ever loving shit out of me hearing that blaring), yet many times when we've gotten tornado warnings, my mom's cellphone alerted her, but mine didn't despite the fact that we share a plan and I have my phone set to receive all emergency alerts, so it's not the first time it's happened.  I just find it funny because I was so anxious about receiving one yet I didn't receive one.  Although I guess that's not entirely a bad thing, because hearing that ungodly noise in such a state of heightened anxiety probably would have caused me to have a stroke. 

Random Thoughts

Wow, I'm really starting to slack anymore. Since I have last posted:

- I did end up having to attend the deposition. It was a huge waste of my time, although at least I was still paid. Judging by the questions I was asked, if this is what is being taught in law school, good God. The best part was when her attorney asked me what day of the week did the accident happen and I said a Friday. Kind of threw all of the attorneys in a tizzy. Apparently the accident report had the day before. I'm unsure of a lot of things but I'm 99.99% sure that ice storm happened on a Friday, even came home that day and pulled up weather archives, which said freezing rain happened on Friday January 10th. Now the date could have been an honest mistake on her part. But someone else wasn't doing their research and fact checking. I even went back to previous posts on here and sure enough, it definitely sounded like it happened on a Friday.

- The tooth behind my root canaled one was starting to really give me trouble a few weeks again. I ended up having to have another root canal. Yay me. I had it done at another office this time. Apparently my dental office doesn't refer to the other place anymore. Not sure why, but I'd certainly like to know. The dentist at first seemed hesitant on doing it because I suck so much at describing my symptoms but once he went in the tooth, he said oh I definitely would have needed it at some point. Pretty sure I heard him say I had irreversible pulpitis. And he confirmed the crack in my tooth. I was pretty annoyed though when he looked at my x-rays and said one of my canals in my first root canaled tooth wasn't fully filled and he wants to keep an eye on it. Why was it not done properly in the first place? It wasn't like some general dentist did it, an endodontist did it. It should have been done properly! And if there was an issue, then I should have been told about it, although for all I know, I very well could have been, but since I could barely understand a word she said, who knows?

And that's really been it. Not much has changed. A month later, I'm still feeling blue from the holidays, I still wish I'd get hit by a tractor trailer on the way to work. There are just no words to describe how much my coworkers get under my skin. And this manager needs a reality check. I don't how the fuck she's ever had managerial positions before, because she's a piss poor excuse for one. I can understand having good relations with your employees, but she is way too fucking chummy with people. Especially my FWA. Again- I really and truly don't understand how anyone tolerates my FWA. Even just sitting there doing nothing I want to punch her in the face.

It's weird- I feel so goddamn stupid all of the time and my job makes me feel really inadequate and yet I feel like I deserve better. I basically feel like I'm lowering myself and settling working in this office. There's no kind of incentive in that office. No promotions, no ladder, nothing. And despite how stupid I feel, I feel like I can, and should, make something much better of myself.

I've been following the Weather Channel off and on today, because even though it doesn't affect my area, I'm interested in following the severe weather coverage. All the years I've been reading the Storm Prediction Center, I think only two or three (give or take, I can't remember) times I've seen a high risk day. Especially in the winter months. And I know the last time I was on there, all three of the tornado watches that were in affect were PDS. Scary, scary shit.

And one more thing- after this weekend, I'm so proud of my gender, despite the fact that it's 2017 and we should not have to be marching demanding equality and rights. I also love how on Facebook every single time I see someone criticizing the women's marches, it's always a man. 

UGH

Enhanced risk of severe thunderstorms for my area today with a 5% tornado probability. Not looking forward to the nastiness that is predicted for later on today.  Guarantee there will probably be some kind of watch issued at some point today.

And then the stupid sun keeps popping out sporadically. GO AWAY SUN YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO MAKE THINGS WORSE.

4:43PM: Severe thunderstorm watch till 10

9:11PM: Looks like the watch was cancelled. Not the entire watch, but certain areas that were under it, including mine, have not been under it since around 8. A severe thunderstorm warning went into effect for my area until about 7:15 and the radar was looking pretty hairy, but all we ended up getting was rain, some wind, some cracks of thunder, and I'm not even sure if we actually got lightning. Spent most of the weekend anxious and with my stomach in knots, particularly today, for really no reason.

And since my anxiety never goes away and instead just finds somewhere else to invade, I'm super stressed out about going back into this leviathan of a chart I started working on on Thursday. Yes, Thursday. And I'm still working on it. I'm pretty sure I should have it done at some point tomorrow- once I get past one part that I'm almost at, it should be a little smoother sailing- but as of now, it's fucking intense. And I'm dreading going back in to it.

Random Thoughts

So luckily no tornadoes came during that last tornado watch, although we did get some rather nasty storms. This weather is nuts. Yesterday I cleaned about an inch or more of snow off of my car and drove to work in snow and this upcoming week it's going to be in the 70's. What the hell?

And these crazy warm ups that keep popping up are making me very nervous of what kind of weather spring is going to bring. Namely, what kind of severe weather.

Boy, Facebook really knows how to bring out the hateful side of people, doesn't it? My God, some of the things people on my newsfeed post, I'm like whoa, seriously?! And while I know some stupid ass delusional people, I can't believe I actually know anyone stupid and delusional enough to want to vote for Donald Trump. Really- he's trolling us all with his shit, right?

I was exercising earlier and "A Good Sadness" came on and I thought hey, Oracular Spectacular came out in 2007, Congratulations came out in 2010, and MGMT came out in 2013. A new album seems to come out every 3 years. It's time, boys! Time for some new music!

This past week, I reluctantly added another day of taking Prozac, upping my dosage to 6 days a week of 20 mg from 5 days a week of 20 mg. I hope it helps some and doesn't make me gain weight. I also hope it doesn't make me even more apathetic than it's already made me.

Another thing I have noticed since starting the medication is I have gotten even worse with discussing things on my mind. I was kind of bad with discussing problems before, but now I really tend to take everything and just shove it deep down inside of me instead of getting it off my chest.

Or maybe it's because all of a sudden I've become everyone's dumping ground for their problems. I constantly have to hear about what is ailing my mother or how horrible my sister's pregnancy is going or how bad my nephew is being. And the terrible thing is how much I feel like screaming I DON'T CARE to it all. And I feel HORRIBLE feeling that way towards my family, although to be fair it's not just isolated to them. Anytime anyone talks to me in work, or anywhere really for that matter, 90% of the time I feel like screaming I DON'T CARE.

Uh....Winter?

It's February. It's currently 62 degrees out. And we're under a tornado watch until 11PM.

Dafuq is this shit?

Random Thoughts

A few days beforehand, I kept an eye on the SPC's site for this past Tuesday, since we were under the threat for severe weather. When I came home from work on Tuesday, an area to the far west of mine was under a tornado warning and I started to get a little nervous that we were going to be next. Sure enough, about a half hour later, the emergency bulletin came on announcing our area was under a tornado warning. The area of rotation being detected was actually pretty far southwest to my area but we were still placed under the warning. I was a nervous wreck, especially when the sky started to get fairly dark and the wind started picking up. Obviously we did not get a tornado (a comforting fact- my local news said that in our area, about 90-95% of tornado warnings never result in a tornado, but do you think that will let me relax some when one is issued? Unlikely.), although a lot of areas did get pretty banged up.There was a suspected tornado in one town, but I think it ended up being determined to be straight line winds.

The following day in work, 3 computers were out in work, including (not surprisingly) my FWA. She did get a new computer on Thursday and she is still bitching that it takes a long time to log in her in and she clocks in late. No, I guess it has nothing to do with the fact that your ass rolls in 8:05, 8:10, whatever. I really have a hard time believing someone can be so delusional.  

And naturally when she got her employee review, she got criticized for her attendance. And naturally bitched that it's not fair it's not her fault her computer is so slow, blah blah blah. I felt like saying oh my god, shut the fuck up- your computer does NOT take 10 minutes to load and you are NEVER here before or even BY 8, so cut your shit already.

My review itself was not bad. I "exceed expectations" and am a pleasure to work with. My attendance is "impeccable" and I actually scored a 5 out of 5. But of course my boss still had to bring up about me getting emotional over things, but did admit that I am better with it. You're damn right I am. I'm better with it because I learned to internalize it more thanks to it coming up repeatedly in my past reviews!

And going back to the weather, my area is under a slight risk for storms today. I'm over this already!

Ugh

The SPC issued a mesoscale discussion for a possible severe watch in my area. Damaging winds and a couple of tornadoes are supposed to be the main threat.

I hate when storms roll through overnight. Especially under a watch.

Oh FFS

A tornado warning? Really? JFC like I am not anxious enough.

Gee, so much for the severe threat to diminish as the night wears on.

Random Thoughts

Had the Reeses peanut butter cup pie Blizzard last night. It's pretty much worth the 810 calories.

My anxiety levels have been terrible since my last post. Saturday morning, my brain had just woken up, eyes not even open yet, and my heart was already pounding like there was no tomorrow. It is the worst feeling when your heart is pounding and then you start getting anxious, thus making it pound even harder. The minute I climbed out of bed, my heart started to pound even harder. And it had been doing that thing again every so often where it feels like it stops and then starts up with a bang. Getting into a shower really brings it on. It is a very unsettling feeling.

And I had some irritability down below and in my bladder. The irritability ceased a lot during the day so my anxiety levels are down some right now, but give it time- the first sign of it coming back, I'll be right back to being an anxious mess.

I was upset about it on Friday and of course the first thing I get from everyone is "you need to get help and go on medicine". No shit, Sherlock. I know I need help, for fuck's sake. But I don't want to go on medicine. My family acts like I have never been on medicine. But I have! And despite no one believing me, I will go to my grave swearing that medicine (Effexor) is exactly what put me in the position I am in now. I wasn't exactly in a great spot before I went off of it, but going off it made everything a million times worse. And I hate to sound so shallow but I am not going to lie- I don't want to go on medicine because I don't want to gain weight.

And then my mom says something like I know it's my anxiety so why do I get so upset. I said because I can't shake the feeling that it may not be. I don't understand what is so hard to comprehend about these things. When I go through these bouts of worrying I have some disease or something, whether it's only my anxiety or not, I am still not going to be able to shake it off that that is all it is. THAT IS WHY I AM SO ANXIOUS.

And like the other times, when I go through these things, all I want is an answer. And I start contemplating going to the ER to get one, even though I know I'll go and all I get from the doctors is LOL ANXIETY. Just like everyone else tells me. And I am starting to worry that one of these days all my crying wolf and no one listening to me is going to bite me in the ass and I'll end up croaking. And then I'll laugh because nobody listened to me. Wherever I end up.

I also wonder a lot of times if I am really experiencing these symptoms or if they are possibly a figment of my anxiety. Is my anxiety so bad that it has me believing I am experiencing these symptoms when I really am not? That is unsettling. Extremely unsettling.

I was at Wal-Fart earlier and I was looking at ovulation tests. I was going to buy one but then I started to think, what if I buy one and it never shows I am ovulating? Then I'll lose it. I am still kind of wishing I bought one anyway. I am only on day 12 of my cycle, but maybe I might buy one over the next few days. Like I said before, I can usually physically tell when I am, but I think I may feel a little better if I have confirmation that I am, even though the tests may not always be accurate. I can't stand this every month worrying that it's going to come early or not at all. Every time I go into the bathroom, I dread that I am going to be bleeding unless I am expecting my period. It's sad how obsessed I have become with my menstrual cycle.

And to top off my anxiety, there is call for bad weather this upcoming week. The other day, TOR:CON was at 4 for Tuesday. It's since been downgraded to a 2-3, but still. What will it actually be on Tuesday? And Monday sounds like it's going to be stormy as well. I think TOR:CON is the same and so far the SPC has the risk for severe weather at slight for Monday. Whether either will change, I won't know until Monday. I am praying neither does, though, unless the severe risk changes from slight to nothing and TOR:CON is downgraded. Ugh, I am going to be such a wreck the next few days. Fucking Typhoon Neoguri wreaking havoc on everything.

Don't know if I have to get up early or not on Sunday so I guess I should head off to bed. My nerves are already in a frenzy that I am not going to sleep and/or wake up at some point with irritability. It never fucking stops ever.

What Is Wrong With Me?

I am laying in bed watching a special on the Weather Channel about the Joplin, MO tornado, complete with realtime footage. Am I trying to give myself another night of nightmares??

Random Thoughts

And continuing on- on Friday while my manager had me in her office, she made some comment that for the most part she thinks we all have a great relationship in the office. I was dying of laughter inside. Sure, we pretty much get along to each other's faces. But that's about it. She's not there to hear our one medical assistant rip everyone to shreds or criticize whatever they did or make snide comments about every new person that starts. And this is someone who is close to 40 years old. We had another medical assistant start back earlier in the year and on her first day, the former made a sarcastic comment like oh yeah I'd like to see how long she will last here. And the new girl ended up really showing her otherwise. She caught on to the job FAST. Too bad she ended up getting fired for some unknown reason.

God I can't freaking stand it. I have knots in my stomach about going back tomorrow.

The SPC has a high risk for severe weather tonight. I think there are about 4 tornado watches active right now, including one particularly dangerous situation. The probabilities are ridiculously high - >95% chance of 2 or more tornadoes occurring, 80% chance of 1 or more F2-F5 tornadoes. Severe weather is scary by itself. It occurring at night is a thousand times scarier.

I don't know what this summer is supposed to be like, but I don't know how I am going to deal with being in work if there is ever any severe weather. I will be wracked with worry about my family. That is, if I am still there. Ugh I am going to be a wreck with this whole email thing. I will never forgive myself for being so damn idiotic. I don't even want to say what I feel like doing right now.

Oh and I have an old-new (as in I have feared it before, it went away, and now is back) fear- paralysis. Fuck, I never thought I'd see days come where I would almost be BEGGING to be worried about Addison's disease. Hell, I think I would even rather worry about amputations than this.

I swear, I never want to leave the house anymore.

10:59PM: Just saw my commercial for the third time today! Yay!

Random Thoughts

It was so nice to have some nice weather on Saturday! Well, Friday was warmer but 1) I was in work and 2) it rained. We were also under a tornado watch. I almost had a heart attack when I saw that. But it as nice and sunny on Saturday. Of course, that brought all of the cretins out of the woodwork and every where was packed to the gills. All we did was go to the bank, two different Wal-Farts, a Boscov's, and Red Robin for dinner. I love Red Robin. I am usually not a big fan of steak fries, but damn do I love theirs. And because I am always watching my girlish figure, I always have to resist taking advantage of the bottomless fries.

Later on, I trekked to DQ to try the red velvet Blizzard. It was good! It just could have used some more cake pieces and cream cheese frosting. But it was not nearly as sweet as I thought it would be, though. I'm already impatient to see what it's in store for March's.

When I was eating my lunch while I was out, the left side of my jaw kept clicking. It was driving me nuts. Not to mention, I woke up with a cold or allergies or something (yet to be determined) on Friday morning and my ears are terribly clogged so they, too, were clicking and popping the whole time I was eating. And I know I was not chewing properly because I am still terrified of biting down and feeling pain so I ended up with a headache after I finished eating. In addition to major sinus pressure and burning. I was not a happy camper.

This obsession with worrying about developing an abscess is going to drive me up the wall. It's nice to have a break from my other health worries, but I want no health worries, dammit! I don't even want to eat or drink because I am so afraid of having sensitivity or feeling pain or whatever. I am constantly checking my gums in the mirror or poking at them or tapping on my teeth. I haven't had much, if any sensitivity, since I was at the dentist, but I am still not letting my guard down.

I finally purchased a mouth guard. Not sure how good it will work, though.

So like I said, I finally saw my commercial on Friday! I swear, it always comes on when I least expect it. I always watch Spongebob before I go to work and have never seen it. Unless it plays at that particular time, in which I always have the Local on the 8's on and miss it. Or it was just a fluke. Guess I'll find out this week. Or it will be another couple weeks before I see it again. I saw two other commercials for the same company during Food Factory on Thursday and Saturday night, but not that particular one. On Friday night, I decided Nick at Night may be a good spot to see it, but alas I only saw the same two commercials as during Food Factory.

Also, I think I really need to quit ONTD minus the MGMT articles. It's a shame, because it can be a really nice community, but more often than not, I am finding it to not be.

Random Thoughts

Ugh, I loathe Sunday nights.

Last Thursday, I came very close to blowing up on my manager. Very close. I was working on a chart that day and I came across a sentence in one report that made no sense whatsoever. So I went and asked my FWA if she could make sense of it. She couldn't, so she told me to ask our most senior coworker, because she knows the job hands down. So I asked her and she told me what to put. She also told me to leave out something. Later on I took the file to my manager to go over. From the second I went into her office, she rubbed me the wrong way- being snippy, asking me where I got something when IT WAS RIGHT THERE IN THE DAMN REPORT.

And then because it wasn't sitting right with me, I brought up about that sentence and what my coworker told me to put. Well, she flew off the handle, to put it mildly. And something that could have been ranted about in under five minutes was ranted for over 15 minutes. And was still continuously brought up. And I was getting really agitated (and trying not to start crying; ugh I hate that) and getting kind of snippy myself. And the thing that pissed me off the most was I got incredibly snippy at one point and she actually had the nerve to mimic me back. And then she actually had the nerve to tell me at one point that I am not to ask this coworker for help anymore, I am to come to her. I wanted so badly to say, "but she is the only one who knows what she is doing; you have no fucking idea what you are talking about half of the time!". And after a while I think she could tell how upset I was getting and she said "I'm not mad at you". I felt like saying "go fuck yourself, you lousy incompetent excuse for a manager". Because she really is.

All she ever does is tell me to not be afraid to come ask for help, yet almost every time I go in to ask for help, it's either like I am inconveniencing her or she gets snippy. I was so upset on Thursday I wanted to walk out the door. I cried the whole way home from work because I was so upset. I don't even want to ask her for help anymore, which sucks because tomorrow I have to go in and finish working on a really difficult chart and I am really not feeling confident about it.

Oh how exciting. My FWA is finding out what her illegitimate brat is tomorrow. I have to laugh, because her car broke down for the umpteenth time on Friday and she was late to work for the umpteenth time. And she says to me "I think it's time for a new car". Oh, you think???! You have only been overdue for one by about 3 years. But oh no, having a baby that the taxpayers have to help fund was more important. I don't understand people's priorities AT ALL. I really don't understand what part of "you should be financially and mentally stable before you pop out a kid" is so difficult for people to understand. Why is it so goddamn difficult??

She wrote something on Facebook on Saturday that she is excited to have off on Monday. Ah yes, because you don't call out or leave early all of the damn time.

On another note....OMG at those storms in the Midwest. I know it's second season, but still. How scary. It's the second time in my life since I started following the SPC webpage that I have seen a high risk for severe weather issued. Two Particular Dangerous Situation tornado watches were issued earlier. Not sure if they are still in effect, or if any more have been issued. Three deaths. And this same system is heading for us overnight. Good lord.

The Awesome Of The Day

Oh No They Didn't! - 'Sharknado': Tara Reid, Ian Ziering Star In Syfy Movie About Sharks, Tornadoes

That sounds so awful (but still better than 99% of the shit on TV), I may just have to watch it.

UNCLE!

Come on, Mother Nature! Enough is enough!

Storm Prediction Center Severe Thunderstorm Watch 387

I was doing some reading on Particularly Dangerous Situation watches last night and one site led me to this particular PDS watch on April 27, 2011. Holy shit! Look at the probabilities of everything. That was one of a few PDS watches that day. Then I decided to bring up the storm report of that day and mother of God, look at all of the tornadoes reported. Look at all of those red dots! I think the death toll was something like 250, give or take. Damn, nature, you scary!

7:58: Seems like the watch ended early.

Come On!

Ugh.

Storm Prediction Center Tornado Watch 377

So, I get to enjoy the next seven and a half hours with increased anxiety levels. Bitchin!

3:02PM: I know I said in a previous post that I am all for fear-mongering when it comes to bad weather, but some dude on Dr. Forbes' Facebook page is taking it to an all new level.

4:48PM: Pretty sure I am going to have a heart attack or stroke before the end of the night. Perhaps both. And the sun being out isn't helping!

7:11PM: So far no storms. It started raining about a half hour ago and there have been rumbles of thunder, but that is about it so far. Pennsylvania seems to be getting a lot of action, though. And I think I heard a tornado touched down somewhere out near State College.

Look at this scary looking radar from Accuweather:

7:18PM: NOW it's pouring!

9:35PM: Looks like the tornado watch ended early. It ended up just mostly raining like hell. However, it looks like there is going to be a thunderstorm threat for tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day. And the next day. All the way up until the 4th of July. When that dreaded party is. Ugh, what contagious disease can I "suddenly come down" with before then?

Random Thoughts

Boy, this was a crazy week for weather. We had that tornado watch on Monday. And then Thursday was expected to be bad as well. I am so relieved it turned out to be a whole lot of nothing in my area. Sure, that storm in the morning was scary, but other than that, the day was pretty quiet. We had a small storm during the evening, and then that was the end. Down in the Delmarva area and further south had it a lot worse. I was so scared all Wednesday, especially with the SPC declaring it a high risk day and issuing several PDS watches. I thought for sure the next day would also be a high risk day and we would have been in that zone.

With all of this damn bloating still continuing, my mother has been pushing me all week to call and make an appointment for an ultrasound. I would like to have it done just to see what is going on up in there, but I want to cry at the thought of a transvaginal ultrasound. And at what it will probably cost me. I may call the radiology company I used to work for, because I just remembered that when I worked there, they had a policy that if someone agreed to pay upfront for their procedure, they would take 20% off. I don't know if they still do that, but it doesn't hurt to find out.

I dread finding out how much it will cost. I just paid off my huge bill for my new airbag. I kept hoping maybe the charge would magically disappear into the Twilight zone or something, but no such luck. Plus, I need new tires and I think my tooth might start bothering me again. My hand and wrist were also hurting again today. I mean, what else would like to go wrong? I'll have the test done and they'll find something that requires surgery? Or fucking cancer? Yeah. I could see that happening. I just read an article not too long ago about a 30 year-old young lady who is dying of ovarian cancer, so while probably rare, it's not out of the question.

Ugh, another one of my cousins (same family as the Disney obsessed) has been posting tons of pictures of her daughter from her dance recital. Her "beautiful daughter"! Why are some women so fucking blinded by motherhood? I laugh at people who just think they have the best and most beautiful kids in the world, because most of the time the kid is a hideous little monster. My cousin is unbelievably annoying. Always "motherhood is the best thing in world!!!!!!" and how much her daughter has changed her life and all this vomit worthy bullshit. She's also one of those annoying people who constantly uses hash tags on Facebook. And yes, I know they are using them now, but this was long before. It also doesn't make it any less annoying.

And honestly, I think the thing that annoys me the most is the girl makes mistakes constantly and always comes out smelling like roses. She insisted on getting married before her brother (everything ALWAYS had to be done before her brother!). The wedding fell through. She almost immediately meets another guy, can't stand the idea of her brother having a kid before her, gets knocked up, the guy runs off on her immediately after knocking her up. And everything is just perfect and swell when she has the kid. Then she meets another guy and he just falls in love with her and her daughter, and now they live this perfect life in a McMansion.

And yeah, maybe I do sound envious (minus the kid part). It would just be nice if for once one of the stupid ass mistakes I make in life would actually end up benefiting me.

Earlier my sister was whining on Facebook about how people cut her off when she is pushing the baby stroller and is she invisible or something. And everyone was agreeing with her and was all "oh once you have a stroller you become invisible". Um, newsflash- people do that regardless of whether you have a kid or not. Get the hell over yourselves. People cut me off and run into me all of the goddamn time. I had some fat cow almost run into me at the mall earlier. She was coming out of FYE and wasn't paying attention and almost knocked me over. I swear, if my sister turns into one of those people who expects to be treated special because she popped out a kid, I am going to smack her. I need to remind her that I am a fan of STFU, Parents and will not think twice of submitting her statuses, sister or not. I'm still sore with her over this:

I didn't need to know that. I already knew what my nephew did at the restaurant. And yes, I did actually have a very nice day. Aside from some annoying impatient people.

I am not looking forward to celebrating Father's Day tomorrow. It's going to be so annoying. I am really starting to loathe family get-togethers. Especially since my sister got married.

And speaking of biased opinions on beauty, check out the latest picture Andrew posted on their Twitter page. I almost didn't recognize him (I thought it was a girl at first!), but dear God, that boy is so fucking beautiful. I want to cry looking at him. But why is he covering half of his face in this picture and the other one? It's illegal for someone that beautiful to cover his face! Well, not really, but it should be. Unless he has a big herpes breakout or something. *shudders* But let's hope that is not the case. And in the latter, is that this squee little guy? Holy crap, he got big! And that is funny his name is Baggy. The people I used to babysit for had a black cat with yellow eyes named Baggy, too. I loved that cat! And he loved me. Every time I was over, he would come up to me on the couch, meow, put his paws on my stomach, then would plop down on my lap and start purring. And then would fall asleep. You know, if I ever get the [extremely unlikely] chance to meet Andrew, I hope he is every bit as sweet as I imagine him to be.

Ugh

Bad weather is expected tomorrow. I am already an anxious wreck. And my anxiety levels are likely to really start soaring as the night progresses. Unless by some chance this system coming through decides to weaken substantially, of course. That would be nice.

I am not sure how long I have been following the SPC website, but I don't believe I have ever seen day with a high risk for severe weather during that time. I was actually just wondering what happens when it's more than a moderate risk and lo and behold, I was giving my answer today.

A tornado watch was issued for parts of Iowa, Illinois, Minnesota, and Wisconsin, and it is one of those dreaded Particularly Dangerous Situation watches. When I saw that earlier, I felt my stomach drop. Two other watches have also been issued, a severe thunderstorm watch (also a Particularly Dangerous Situation) and a tornado watch (not a PDS).

As of now, my area is under a moderate risk for severe weather:

TOR:CON is at a 3 to 4. I am terrified it will all change by tomorrow. All I can do right now is listen to music and try not to have a heart attack. And speaking of music, one of these days I will finally stop being lazy and get all of my scattered thoughts organized and post something on MGMT. I mean, come on....surely anyone who follows them on Facebook and/or Twitter couldn't possibly think I haven't heard the news yet (no, no show in my area yet, unfortunately. Or news on the the new album), could they? *crosses arms angrily* As if I would do such a thing!