Random Thoughts

 Damn, it's raining like a bitch outside. Some of our yard is flooded.

When I was driving home from work earlier, I felt really shaky and jittery and just bad overall. And I couldn't figure out why, so I just chalked it up to my monthly time. Well, I decided to look at the bottle of period pills I have and noticed it said there were 60 mg of caffeine. In one pill. I took four pills altogether today. No wonder I felt so lousy! Damn me and my caffeine intolerance! You're talking about someone who used to make a 4 cup pot of coffee with 3 scoops of full caf coffee. Now I am lucky if I can drink half caf without feeling jittery sometimes.

I just found out today my boss' boss is coming in tomorrow. Now I am nervous all over again. What if she is coming in because of the whole email thing? I did ask one of my coworkers on Monday if she had to hear the lecture and she said she did, so it wasn't just me, thank goodness.

I don't know if I am just having period brain or what, but I have been having such a difficult time in work this week. I feel like every chart I pick up is difficult. And I am so fucking slow! I take forever to do anything because I am so worried about making mistakes! I will type up one visit, then reread it, then compare it to the report, sometimes repeat, and then move on. And you'd think checking my work as I go through would be good enough. Oh no. Sometimes I get to the end of the chart and I get anxious all over again and have to check it again. It's so damn annoying. Sometimes I feel like putting in my two weeks before the company decides one day to fire me for being too damn slow, because let's face it- until I get mental help, I am never going to change.

You know what would make my job easier? IF DOCTORS KNEW HOW TO FRIGGIN' WRITE. And I am not just referring to notes with the stereotypical horrible doctor handwriting (and man, do some have AWFUL handwriting. Physical therapists can have pretty terrible writing, too.). I mean even typed reports can be a pain. They're transcribed stupidly. Body parts are wrong or change throughout, the sex of the person changes, bad grammar and spelling, sentences make no sense, etc. Either the transcriptionist has no idea what they are doing or the doctor is using one of those voice recognition softwares. And supposedly doctors are really supposed to read and check them before they are finalized, but guess what? They don't.

I keep thinking about certifying my stanning and joining the MGMT fan club, but I keep putting it off. I don't know why. I need to just sign up for it already. I'll probably be the oldest member.

The WTF Of The Day

'Endometriosis is a garbage bag disorder' Dr Drew insults countless sufferers of the painful ailment

First off, a functional disorder is defined as "a medical condition that impairs the normal function of a bodily process, but where every part of the body looks completely normal under examination, dissection or even under a microscope" (wiki). Endometriosis is usually diagnosed through laparoscopy; endometrial implants will generally be seen through laparoscopy. But I guess you would know that if you actually took the time to practice medicine and not exploit people's issues on TV for profit or took time from your busy pimping out of GlaxoSmithKline drugs schedule.

Second, if what I am experiencing every month is ever confirmed to be endometriosis, then I will hunt this jackwagon down, kick him in his lower left quadrant and lower back (those are the usual areas I experience that deep burning cramping throughout my entire cycle), and then jam something up his entire rectum. There are a host of other symptoms I'd like to make him experience as well, but I'd have to summon a voodoo doll for those.

Guess I Am Just Not "Fetch"

Since the internet is going wild over its tenth anniversary....am I the only woman on earth who has never seen Mean Girls?

Random Thoughts

Hallelujah, it finally came. It's a sad state of affairs when you actually have to be excited your period finally came. Unless you had unprotected sex and didn't want to be pregnant. Apparently I may finally have gotten over my fear of Addison's disease at some point, yet since last week, I was still getting upset that my period hadn't come by the expected day and I was thinking good god please don't let me be going through early menopause already.

I figured it would probably come at some point today. I was moody as hell and very crampy. I had such an irritating day in work to top it off. Of course, I am not sure if it was actually irritating or if it was just my impending monthly bitch. Or both. Probably both. Work is never not irritating.

My manager dumped some chart on my desk last night after I left for me to work on today. That's the thing I have to love about my manager- pretty much everything is done after everyone leaves for the day. We leave with empty in-boxes and come in the next day to some stupid scathing email. They're almost NEVER sent during actual work hours. And work is almost never distributed during working hours, either. But back to the chart- it was a bunch of psych notes and I don't deal with those that often (if I have ever) and since they're not really pertinent to our doctors, I asked my manager what to do with them. That, of course, couldn't be a simple thing. Then she decides to ask our most senior employee what to do. She confuses me even more. And then my manager says "there you go, it will be an easy one to do" and just as I am about to say I still didn't fully understand, she walks away from me. I felt like grabbing my stuff, saying fuck this shit, and walking out the door. Every fucking time I ask my manager for help I end up either 1) feeling like an ass for asking for help 2) even more confused or 3) both. Usually both. But I am never supposed to be afraid to ask for help. Yeah. Okay. Whatever.

And in that little "meeting" on Friday, my manager also told me we need to watch what we say in the center (we sometimes tend to bitch a lot). I found out from one of my coworkers that this girl who works out of our office every so often apparently heard one of us say something about her and ran crying to our manager about it. I honest to God have never heard anyone say anything about her. And no, I swear it was not me. I have never had anything bad to say about her. Well, that is until now, because now she is being a little pissy bitch towards everyone. She's getting an attitude with the wrong person, because I was not the person talking about her.

This weekend is Strawberry Festival at Peddler's Village. I went last year and wouldn't mind going again this year. My sister texted me earlier asking about it. I want to go, but how do I tell her I don't want to go with her husband? He's annoying to go anywhere with. ARGH.

Tweet Of The Day

We are slowly Morphing into one being pic.twitter.com/x6m4hKP7Ux
— MMGGMMTT (@whoisMGMT) April 29, 2014

Those comments, tho.....second-hand embarrassment. So much second-hand embarrassment.

The Stupid Of The Day

ALL THE DARWIN AWARDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woman Dies in Car Crash While Posting to Facebook About Pharrell's Song 'Happy'

And speaking of stupid.....I've been missing Pretty Little Liars for some reason. Don't know why.

Random Thoughts

And continuing on- on Friday while my manager had me in her office, she made some comment that for the most part she thinks we all have a great relationship in the office. I was dying of laughter inside. Sure, we pretty much get along to each other's faces. But that's about it. She's not there to hear our one medical assistant rip everyone to shreds or criticize whatever they did or make snide comments about every new person that starts. And this is someone who is close to 40 years old. We had another medical assistant start back earlier in the year and on her first day, the former made a sarcastic comment like oh yeah I'd like to see how long she will last here. And the new girl ended up really showing her otherwise. She caught on to the job FAST. Too bad she ended up getting fired for some unknown reason.

God I can't freaking stand it. I have knots in my stomach about going back tomorrow.

The SPC has a high risk for severe weather tonight. I think there are about 4 tornado watches active right now, including one particularly dangerous situation. The probabilities are ridiculously high - >95% chance of 2 or more tornadoes occurring, 80% chance of 1 or more F2-F5 tornadoes. Severe weather is scary by itself. It occurring at night is a thousand times scarier.

I don't know what this summer is supposed to be like, but I don't know how I am going to deal with being in work if there is ever any severe weather. I will be wracked with worry about my family. That is, if I am still there. Ugh I am going to be a wreck with this whole email thing. I will never forgive myself for being so damn idiotic. I don't even want to say what I feel like doing right now.

Oh and I have an old-new (as in I have feared it before, it went away, and now is back) fear- paralysis. Fuck, I never thought I'd see days come where I would almost be BEGGING to be worried about Addison's disease. Hell, I think I would even rather worry about amputations than this.

I swear, I never want to leave the house anymore.

10:59PM: Just saw my commercial for the third time today! Yay!

The Awesome Of The Day

Tomorrow, we're bringing you a little taste of summer with the new BLIZZARD Treatof the Month. Any guesses? #LOVEmyDQ
— Dairy Queen (@DairyQueen) April 28, 2014

I heard through the grapevine that it is strawberry shortcake.....OOOOOOOO.

ETA 4/28: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

It's New. As in Brand-Spankin' New! Introducing the NEW Strawberry Shortcake BLIZZARD Treat.  #LOVEmyDQ pic.twitter.com/HkcmC6WFkZ
— Dairy Queen (@DairyQueen) April 28, 2014

(sorry- the picture was obnoxiously big so I had to embed it without it)

Random Thoughts

Continuing on ranting- by the way, if you notice grammar and mistakes in any of my posts, or words missing, I was more than likely typing while pissed off. Again, never a good combination.

Anyway, every time one of my coworkers is in the office (sometimes she is on the road), all she does is bitch it is hot. She is as bad my FWA's friend, although not nearly as heavy. And instead of removing her scrub jacket, she'll bitch and bitch and bitch about being hot and then she'll turn on the air conditioner. Why doesn't she ever just remove her jacket first? I don't get it. And then she always asks me if I am hot. No I am not hot! I am never hot so stop asking me!

And now I am starting to wonder that despite my manager telling me she wasn't necessarily referring to me with the emails, what if one of mine was part of the pack? Maybe that is why she is being so belligerent to me? Well, maybe not, because the girl I mentioned above was complaining one day that our manager is taking her problems out on the wrong people. Plus, talking nastily and talking down to people like they are 5 years old is not anything new.

I feel like if I stay in that place any longer, I am going to end up in the hospital. And there are plenty of days I feel like driving there and admitting myself than going to work.

On Friday, I had the radio on while in work and "Time to Pretend" came on and after it ended, the DJ was talking about how she loves MGMT and then was going on about how they have never been able to meet the success of Oracular Spectacular and then went on to say how when they played songs off of the other albums at Coachella, people left. I don't know how true that is, but it wouldn't surprise me. And if it true, that makes me sad. Especially after reading this quote. I honestly do not understand the hate for the other two albums and can never quite get a straight answer as to why people hate them. Well, maybe not so much MGMT, but I definitely do not get the hate for Congratulations. I think all of the album are amazing in different ways and although it's still up in the air, I'd probably say maybe Congratulations is my favorite. The fact that "Siberian Breaks" is on it pulls a lot of weight. But the other two are great as well.

And speaking of them, last weekend I decided to have the bright idea of going through every single damn page of this one Tumblr page I visit. And there was one note about how if you are feeling bad about your sex life (the audience of this page seems to primarily be about 19, 20 years old), just remember Andrew didn't lose his virginity until about 21 years old. I know it was meant to be a joke, but it still bugged me. Just like when the interview where he admitted that was posted on ONTD, everyone made fun of him. Again, it was probably just light-hearted joshing, but still. And yeah, I'll admit when I seen these pictures, the first thing I [jokingly] thought was jesus no wonder he didn't lose his virginity until college (also, I had no idea what was Hank second from the right). But who freaking cares if he waited to lose his virginity?

Ugh, my fingers are blowing up and getting red and hot. What in the hell is wrong with me?

Dual Song/Video Of The Day

Great song. Even greater video:



2:25 - best part of the entire video

Why Is This Not More Well Known??

Happy National Pretzel Day!!!!

Random Thoughts

About ten minutes before I was about to leave work on Friday, my manager tells me she wants to talk to me. Every single time she says that to me, I get nervous that I did something wrong. She starts off by telling me that this was a problem before I started again and she had to have a talk with the staff and is going to have it again. Then, because she can never simply just cut to the chase with anything, she starts going on this long string about emails written by employees about other employees and even supervisors were brought to her attention and that we all need to watch what we say in them since they are company property and she isn't mentioning any names or pointing fingers and she's not necessarily referencing to me and blah blah blah.

I left with a not so good feeling in my stomach. I hate to admit this, but I am guilty of typing some not so flattering emails to other employees in moments of anger in the past. And I did it when I worked there before. I was vague in description and didn't use names, but was it still a stupid thing to do? Yes. Yes it was. I will be the first to admit I was very stupid in doing it. Not to mention my FWA has sent me some pretty unflattering emails about other employees as well.

Most of my coworkers minus the two temps were gone when I was leaving, so I couldn't ask them if they got the talk as well or if my manager was lying to me and she specifically singled me out. I emailed my FWA and asked her if they ever did get a talk in the past and she said they did. We chatted back and forth and I said I don't know how much more I can put up with working there and it's not the company itself, but our manager. This is what she wrote me back:

oh i know [manager's name] is what makes me not want to come back-i can deal with the rest of teh (sic) company

She is unbelievable. Then why do you complain about the company all of the time? Why does she have to lie so much? Like does she not even realize she does it anymore?

My manager is getting on my last nerve. I'm sorry she having trouble with her son, but that is not my fucking problem. And I keep inadvertently getting people in trouble. Last Friday towards the end of my shift, I was looking for work to do for Monday and I came across one assignment that one of our at home workers had started, but put back due to having other work to do. So I assigned it to myself. Come Monday morning, I opened up what our at home worker had started and I was a little confused by what she wrote, so I went in and asked my manager for help with it. She starts freaking out that the at home worker should not have dismissed herself from the assignment and there was no reason she couldn't have finished it on time and she can't do shit like this and she's going to have a talk with her. I just walked out of the office afterwards and thought great, now I just got someone in trouble by not even doing anything. 

Just like a few days later I was going through printed out charts looking for old reports to add in and I found one chart that had a whole bunch of missing medical records. The girl who printed them out, the one who plays on her phone all of the time, did not go through every attached file and print them out. So I said something to my manager about it and right away she freaks out again and says she is going to email her about this. And will probably make some mention of me finding out. I swear she has some kind of vendetta for me lately. That thing with the oh the emails will be anonymous and then really weren't is still really eating at me.

And I am tired of her talking so belligerently to people and acting like everyone is stupid but her. I had emailed a client one day for a claim petition and on Friday I got an email from the client telling me it was there. I was pretty sure it wasn't. I wasn't sure if the chart was in my manager's office and she had her door shut, so I sent her an email telling her about the situation and that the client was insisting it was there and I know it wasn't, and I asked her if she had the chart. A few minutes later, she comes out and asking me what is going on and I start to say "well she says the claim pe" and she interrupts me and very nastily snaps "who's she?". I felt like are you fucking kidding me? Give me a chance to finish what I was saying AND I told you who "she" was in the fucking email! There was no reason for her to snap at me like that. None whatsoever.

I am really starting to regret I ever came back. Really regretting.

And why is my damn period not here yet? Come on, I don't need more to be anxious about.

Song Of The Day

It's unacceptable that I am just making this SotD now:

The Bitch, Please Of The Day

Gym Asks Pregnant Woman to Cover Up Exposed Baby Bump | Healthy Living - Yahoo Shine

She never felt so judged in her life? Are you kidding me? Planet Fitness has a strict policy, this bitch didn't follow it, so now she has to act all woe is me I am oppressed and whine to the media?

And for the love of God, STOP USING THE TERM BABY BUMP. God that phrase makes me so damn stabby. Especially the way celebrity rags use it. "So and so flaunts her bump!" "So and so disguises her bump!". First of all, how difficult is for a pregnant woman to flaunt her pregnant belly? Not very. And yes, I understand that there is a point women don't show. And that is my exact point- the only time I ever see the stupid headline will be when the woman has what looks like a food baby, or she is so big she looks like she about to explode. Of course, nothing will ever be worse than the time I seen some rag say some celebrity (Channing Tatum's wife, I think it was) treated her bump to a movie theater trip or a day out or something of that nature. Worst. Headline. Ever.

I googled "hate the phrase baby bump" and came across one forum where a good percentage hated it and then you had the ones who talked about how much they just loved their baby bumps! Ugh, I wanted to puke. Baby inside or not, I couldn't imagine ever loving something like that. Chalk up another reason why I should not ever become pregnant. Then again, I am not usually certain on a lot of things in life, but if there is one thing I am almost 100% sure I will never do is have kids.

Quote Of The Day

From user Red Polygon in response to this article:

Everything about that photo doesn't just scream "pretentious", it hauls every marching band on earth to the top of Mount Everest and roars "pretentious" into a 200,000 watt megaphone.

What is this Deadmaus dude's problem anyway? I could see if Win Butler specifically called him out, but he didn't. He just made a general statement and this douche, as usual, gets all butt hurt and flies off the handle. I thought I went through life with a ridiculous amount of anger in me, but I don't hold a candle to this ass. Chill out, dude, before you have a fucking stroke.

Random Thoughts

Every time I think commercials can't possibly get any stupider, a new one comes out and proves me wrong. The past couple days I keep seeing these commercials for Poise pantiliners, where this lady goes on about how her SAM lasts for hours and is in her pants right now. Even the lady she is talking to is looking at her like bitch please stop talking to me. I get second hand embarrassment every time I see it. I also hate that Tide commercial (I think that is what it is for) where the Lea Michele look-alike (which makes it extra punchable) talks about her daughter signing up for karate. But she can't just say karate. She has to say it with this stupid accent. GRRR.

I keep thinking about how I want to go to someone to talk to, like a therapist. Of course, I am much too lazy to actually get out searching for one, mostly because I know it's going to be a long arduous process of 1) finding someone I can trust and 2) finding someone who I will be willing to be open with. It's kind of sad that I can't even talk to the one group of people I should most be able to- my family. Instead, I just bottle everything up in me, probably creating an environment more toxic than Chernobyl. Well, essentially a good percentage of things I have never discussed in real life are discussed on here. So for the few people who may actually read this stupid blog, you know more about what goes on in my head and tortures me daily than my own loved ones do.

Song Of The Day

I feel like I need to put on leggings, a leotard, and leg warmers to dance to this:

Picture Of The Day

isles of bruises: Photo


See more on Know Your Meme

Quote Of The Day

From Andrew:

I still feel anxious onstage, and I wish I could just open up and be free, but I think the lyrics and music for the new album is just so personal and writing it was, well, let’s just say that I find the best thing about the music that Ben and I make is that it’s a result of a very special combination of our two personalities. We’re not prolific. We don’t produce a lot. So whatever comes out are like the little, condensed versions of our lives at that time. It means that the music is very personal and watching crowds who aren’t connecting with it or feeding off of it can be strange.

Well, that is depressing. I figured there was some reason why he is so.....awkward on stage. I saw what people were talking about, about how the band barely interacts with the audience, when I was at the Electric Factory show. Either it was just considered a lot to me or Musikfest was just a rare moment, because like I have said before, I thought Andrew was pretty chatty.

Also, I don't know why I keep forgetting to bring this up, but at the Electric Factory show, during "Congratulations", I happened to look further down the bar and there was this middle-aged black woman (WHAT?) in a fur coat with her hands up in the air, her eyes closed, and swaying back and forth like she was in church. It was one of the greatest scenes I saw all night.

Hope everyone had a nice Zombie Jesus day. Or whatever you celebrate. Mine was nice, minus the fact I had a bad case of PMS. And I did not see that kid I graduated with today, thank God. I think if I had, I probably would have had an epic meltdown. My mind is itching for one and Lord knows what is going to bring it on one day. Also, all I keep thinking about is my FWA pumping for information on Friday whether the work is caught up and I want to hit something. And I want to hit something because I am pissed that I am allowing a comment made by some low life bitch who decided to get try and get pregnant because birth control was getting too expensive to bother me.

Random Thoughts

Since I started working again, we have had temp after temp doing the job I did when I first started there back in 2009. And my boss pawned their work off on me to check and told me to type up a list of whatever errors were made and email it to her. I think I must have hesitated, because she told me it would all be anonymous and more as a reference for her when she went over their mistakes with them. Well, last week our latest temp was acting kind of funny towards everyone, including me, and Friday morning, she comes to my desk to ask me something....and in her hands was one of my emails. With my name in giant letters. I was pissed. So much for anonymity.

My boss has been one nasty bitch this week. She's apparently been having problems with one of her sons, so she is taking it out on all of us. Between her attitude, the temp's attitude, really bad cramping, and a bad case of PMS, I have been in one bad mood this week. Oh, and I found out my FWA is going to be out until sometime in June. Really, bitch? You need 12 weeks off from a job where you just sit on your ass all day? What did she do? Give her doctor one hell of a blow job or something? JFC, she is ridiculous. Fucking drama queen.

She was in AGAIN on Friday afternoon for lunch with two of my coworkers and the one who used to work there before. I just have to laugh at these girls. They'll rip my FWA apart but then act like they're all buddy buddy with her when she is in. Go figure. And apparently she was asking all kinds of questions, like is the work caught up, etc? I so knew she'd have that mentality, that by her being out, work would fall behind. Get over yourself bitch. Just because you churn out a lot of work doesn't mean it's quality work. And besides I have only been doing this job for a little over 6 months- how fucking perfect does she expect me to be? Yes, I don't turn in a whole lot of work, but do you know why? Because 1) I am thinking quality and 2) I am just anal.

Oh and I am so tired of her posting this shit on Facebook:

JFC, shut the fuck up. And this is like the second or third time she has posted this. And seven people liked this at the time. Seriously? And that comment is from my FWA's friend. Like she doesn't know by now my FWA is posting this to be attention-seeking and dramatic so everyone can rush in and ask her if everything is okay? Really?

My mom keeps telling me I need to watch what I say about her. I am at the point that I no longer give a fuck. If all my coworkers turn around and tell her what I say, it's not like I have forgotten everything they say about her. If she ever says anything about knowing what I say about her, I'll just laugh at her and say oh honey please, everyone talks about you. And if she wants to start trouble over it, I'll just punch her in her ugly face. My fist has been itching to do it for years.

And back in December, one of my coworkers asked her to find out what my favorite cake was. First off, if she was the "great friend" she claimed to be, she would know what it was. Instead, she sends me an email one day that says her boyfriend is doing a survey for school asking people what their favorite cake flavors were. I just stared at the email in astonishment. You're asking me this a few days before my birthday and I am expected to believe your boyfriend is doing a survey for school? Does she really believe I am that dumb?

I am not looking forward to Easter Sunday. And now with the baby in the picture, everything is about him. This will be what dinner will entail- everyone will watch everything he does and laugh. Then they'll talk about him. And then repeat. I went with Mom this past Sunday to the cemetery with my grandparents and aunt and about 99% of the time was talking about my nephew. I love him to death, but JFC it won't kill everyone to not talk about him for 5 minutes. Adult conversations seem to no longer exist in my family anymore. It's so damn frustrating!

And you know what else is frustrating? Watching my nephew laugh and smile at my dad. Oh sure, he gets to enjoy his grandchild. But my grandparents never got to enjoy us. WTF.

And you know what else else is frustrating? I am so worried I am going to see that kid I graduated with on Sunday at the diner, since I am sure that is where we will end up. If he comes in, I don't even know what I will do, aside from get up and leave the restaurant. And what will I say if someone asks me why I left? Oh I have this horrible overwhelming obsessive fear of amputations and because of it, I have developed this inexplicable aversion to amputees? LOL yeah THAT will go over well! Then everyone can remind me of what an awful person I am! Because I don't already feel awful and embarrassed enough about this!

I am a horrible person. Someone should just put me out of my misery already.

Song Of The Day

I don't know why this has never been SotD before, but here it is:

The WTF Of The Day

isles of bruises

Why do they look so.....NORMAL?

Song Of The Day

I was kind of obsessed with this song back sometime around after I got out of the hospital; I kind of forgot about it and then I listened to it this past Saturday and fell in love with it again:

R....M....F....E

If I see a link to this article or some variant of it pop up in my Facebook newsfeed one more time, I am going to punch something.

Song Of The Day

I vote this become the National Anthem:

Dafuq Is Going On?

What is going on with everyone today? It seems like everyone is in a bad ass mood. I was okay until I got to work, my boss was in a bad mood, one of my coworkers was in a bad mood, my nephew was in a bad mood, one of my cousin's kid is in a bad mood, etc.

My sister was bitching on Facebook earlier about the utility guy knocking on the door or ringing the doorbell or something and causing the dog to bark, which in turn woke the baby. And then everyone else had to bitch and moan about how that happens to them. Yes, it sucks, but guess what? The whole world can't fucking stop because you have a napping baby.

And what in the hell is this????

They're going to be on Conan tonight. MAKE SURE YOU WATCH.

ETA 11:59PM: Um.....never change, MGMT. Never change.

Video Of The Day

I take back 56% of the mean things I have said about him:



It's kind of funny reading the negative MGMT comments on the different websites I have seen this video on. One person said they have been playing this song at every festival since 2007. Um, no they have not. They didn't even play "Kids" for the longest time.

And I am not keeping the charade up anymore of acting like I am cool with people hating on them- if you hate MGMT and think their music sucks, then I feel sorry for you. Like what are you even basing this on? One or two songs? And even if you don't like their music, you can't tell me they are not talented. Then again, I don't think most people who dislike them know anything about them.

Random Thoughts

Just showed Mom the "Alien Days". I told her Andrew's ex was in it and half way through the video my mom says "she looks more like his sister than anything". I don't always see a resemblance, but that one part when Andrew is juggling (well, attempting to) and she is over by the clothes line and laughing at him, she looks EXACTLY like him when he smiles.

I was just looking at some pictures of Andrew from their Coachella performance earlier tonight. They were glorious. Of course, while I enjoy looking at pictures of him playing with his eyes closed, I would have appreciated more pictures of him NOT with his eyes closed.

And what is the deal with this Coachella thing anyway? Is it a musical festival or it is some haven for non-A listers to dress like assholes and congregate? Ugh, they all look so punchable. Especially Vanessa Hudgens. I can't stand that girl and I don't even know why. I think it's because every time I see a picture of her, she's doing that goddamn duckface. I think I disliked her after her nudies "leaked". What is it with these Disney tarts after they become legal? Why do they all have to rebel and try to shed their good girl image? What is so terrible about being a good girl?

Last weekend I was snapping out over my neighbor's stupid kid and her kicking a soccer ball around the street and my mom told me I have too much anger on me. Well, duh, I already know that. I have way too much inside of me. I don't even know how it all fits. And the thing is I don't even know if I am really full of anger or if I am so emotionally exhausted from having OCD and anxiety that I just am short-fused from it. I don't even know how I function as much as I do, with all that is going on in my head. This is what it basically feels like in there all of the time.

And speaking of anger.....I need to get a new computer before I smash the hell out of this one.

Song Of The Day

Bohemian Rhapsody who? One of the ultimate Queen songs and the theme song of my life, although I think I am past the point of "slightly" mad:

Quote of The Day

From that weird human Barbie chick:

The very idea of having children brings out this deep revulsion in me. Most people have children to fulfill their own ambitions, not to give anything. They don’t think about what they can give this child, what they can teach her. They just try to shape her according to some weird script—whatever they couldn’t do in life, like becoming a writer or a doctor. Or some woman who’s almost 30 and thinks no one needs her, she says, ‘Oh, I’ll have a kid. He will love me and become my reason to live.’ And then this kid becomes a soccer ball she and her boyfriend will kick back and forth. I’d rather die from torture, because the worst thing in the world is to have a family lifestyle.

Well....she isn't really wrong....

The Awesome Of The Day

I have seen my commercial three times tonight! Yay!

Reading through my past couple posts, if you only knew what the commercial was.....OH THE IRONY*

*it probably isn't really irony; I just wanted a chance to say it

Wah First World Problems

Was just reading customer complaints on Friendly's Facebook page and my eyes can't stop rolling. One guy was whining because the location near him closed and it made his daughter cry. Oh boohoo! God forbid should children experience disappointment nowadays!

And then some lady was bitching about there being no changing stations at the one she was at, which to be honest, really doesn't make any sense since it is a family restaurant. But then she had to be one of those people- she changed her brat on the booth seat. Really, bitch? That is so nice of you, changing your kid on a spot where other people sit because you're too stupid and too much of a fat lazy bitch to go find somewhere else to change your germ-riddled spawn. And I bet she is one of those types who incredibly anal about keeping her kid from germs. Oh sure, as long as her kid doesn't get germs, to hell with everyone else. Screw people who are so fearful of disease that half the time they don't even want to leave the house because of it.

I actually just complained to Friendly's a few weeks ago. I was dying to try the cookie dough Friend-Z so I went one Saturday night. The manager himself made it for me. Well, what I got was a cup filled three quarters of the way with cookie dough bits dumped on top. I took it and went to my car. And then I said fuck this, I am not paying almost $5 for what essentially was two scoops of vanilla with cookie dough bits on top. So I took it back in. And the manager took it from me without one word and handed it to an employee. No apology or anything. And this guy has been a manager for an extremely long time. The girl explained to me that they don't have a Friend-Z machine (well, why do you make them then?). But she did a great job of making it properly. I still came home and sent the company a complaint email (and yes, I commended the girl for fixing it; she deserved credit). A few days later, I received a $10 gift card in the mail. Sweet, right? But honestly, I am getting tired of Friendly's shit.

Random Thoughts

Good news! I submitted my taxes on Sunday night. I was going to finish them on Friday and then realized I did not have ink to print them out, so I ended up buying ink on Sunday and finishing them later that night. Of course now I know that I could indeed have saved them and printed them out later. I actually couldn't remember if I could do that or not. Oh, and I ended up paying to have my state taxes filed electronically. Dammit, I really wanted that extra $30.

I never did get my cannoli on Saturday, but as predicted I did eat bad. I had to go to a wedding and I ate like a fucking pig. I had 2.5 Kings Hawaiian rolls, 1 serving mashing potatoes, 2 servings of mixed vegetables, 2 servings of ziti, and 2 servings of chicken parm. Then I had pudding, 2 mini cupcakes, a mini biscotti, a Rice Crispie treat, a slice of cheesecake, a slice of carrot cake, and my wedding cake. And then I came home and ate a soft pretzel.

Mother of God, I am feeling guilty now reading it out loud.

My FWA came into work again yesterday with her mother and the baby. Hey, if I ever wonder why she is so annoying, I just have to look at her mother. The two are identical. They both interrupt constantly, talk too damn much, and everything is always about them. They stopped in before they were going shopping at the mall. I have to laugh at that- her doctor is willing to keep her out for 10 weeks, but she can go shopping? And carry a baby carrier? And hoist it up onto a desk? Seriously? And at one point the baby started screeching and crying. Now I will admit that newborn cries doesn't usually bother me all that much, but oh my freaking god, it was one of the most annoying shrilly screechy cries I have ever heard in my life (then again, look at who her mother is; that poor child having to listen to that voice). And one of my coworkers said she could never tire of hearing that noise. My ovaries were about to commit a murder suicide.

And now for what will probably make me sound like an awful person. I was out on Sunday and I decided to walk from one end of the shopping center we were at to the other end. By the time I got to the other end, I was out of breath and my legs were burning. And all I kept think was about that time I went to that chiro lady and she told me the circulation in my legs wasn't good. And I started thinking of all of these horrible things and what if I get really bad circulation and then I thought of that kid I went to high school with (I swear to God that is going to drive me mad) and I was pretty off the wall the rest of the day. And now all I keep thinking of and worrying about are amputations and it's driving me up the fucking wall. I feel like I am going to lose my mind.

I never thought these words would come out of my mouth, but I would take worrying I have Addison's disease over this. I honestly did not think it was possible, but apparently there is something that could scare me worse than Addison's disease.

And because life is a cruel bitch, I was reading the newspaper yesterday and there was an article about anti-vaccers and there was this story about this little boy who contracted meningitis (I don't think his parents were anti-vaccers, though). Now I have seen some pretty horrifying photos of post-meningitis patients, but none have ever horrified me as much as this one. I couldn't even stop looking at it in horror. Not only did this poor kid have pretty much most of his limbs amputated, but the doctors also removed part of his jaw, parts of ears, and parts of his eyelids.

Maybe I would feel differently if I actually had a child or maybe I am just an overall awful person, but if I had a child and the doctors told me they had to do that to him or her....I'm sorry, I just couldn't allow them to do it. I would feel like a monster making my child live like that (although the sad thing is I bet that kid is happier than I am) and every time I would look at him or her, all I would do is blame myself and think, what in the hell could I have done to prevent this?

Random Thoughts

Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday, Friday! Tomorrow is Friday! I finally saw my commercial today! I haven't seen it since Saturday night. And not only did I see it today, I saw it twice! 

With the impending end of customer support and updates for XP on April 8th, I'm bugging out. Do I need to run out and buy a new computer or is this all just fear mongering so the executives of Microsoft can make their luxury car payments? With as slow as my computer is getting, between its old age and inadequate RAM with newer programs, I am basically ready for a new computer. But I would really like for this one to kick the bucket before doing so.

Another thing I am bugging out about is my taxes. I have them pretty much done, but I need to endlessly check them over to make sure I didn't make any mistakes. And normally I use NJ Webfile every year to file my state taxes. Well, this year I accidentally entered in the wrong gross income for last year so now I am banned from using it this year and I have to decide whether to file them manually or submit them electronically and pay $30. FUCK.

I made the mistake once again of reading comments in regards to an article on a certain gossip site the other day. I have never been so appalled by that site as I was that day. I will never understand the concept of I hate (insert race) but how dare you hate me for my skin color. IT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. You can't get pissed when people hate you solely for your skin color WHEN YOU DO THE SAME THING. It's so fucking stupid! It makes you just as bad!

These people need to pull the sticks out of their asses. And I don't mean just with race. I mean with basically EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING is wrong and evil to these people. People like this are exactly why I side-eye political correctness and the whole social justice warrior movement.

And the level of hate for men, particularly white straight men, is even too much for me. I go on and on about how I hate men, but half the time I don't even think I am being serious. I read an article one time on a singer being accused of rape and right away, he was automatically guilty. According to them, people just don't cry rape for the hell of it and even though it has happened, it's rare. I understand the theory to a degree, but that's still not the point. IT STILL HAS HAPPENED, rare or not. And just because it's rare does not mean this particular case isn't one of them! Maybe he did really do it and if so, may his pretentious ass get handed to him. Or maybe it's just some sick bitch looking for her 15.

"Anthem" by Filo and Peri with Eric Lumiere just popped up on my iTunes shuffle. Holy shit, I haven't listened to that song in EONS. I forgot how good it was!