Song Of The Day

Heard this song for the first time the other morning on 104.5 and can't get enough of it:

Yay!

104 is playing "You Haunt Me"!

The Hell Radio 104.5?!

First off, let me start by saying I adore Radio 104.5. There is the most important reason why- if it was not for 104, I probably never would have discovered who MGMT is. They are the only station in my area who plays them. It also has the most amazing playlist in existence on the radio.

The problem is, they only play a fraction of that amazing playlist. I have discovered some absolutely incredible songs on their new music show on Sunday nights ("Red Eyes" by the War on Drugs, "Diamonds", by the Boxer Rebellion, "You Haunt Me" by Sir Sly, "Think Of You" by MS MR, "Recover" by CHVRCHES, etc) and yet I never hear any of those songs on their regular line up. No, instead I hear the same damn songs all the time. "Take Me To Church" and "Riptide" several times a day. Oasis constantly. "Brain Stew" by Green Day. That fucking "My Own Worst Enemy" song. I'm sorry, can I beat the dead horse enough on how much I LOATHE that song? Only a smidgen more than that Rise Against song, the one about living on front porches and swinging like the wind and getting by on minimum wage. Yeah. Okay. Good luck with that.

And then there are songs they play for a while and then suddenly never ever hear again- "You Are A Tourist" by Death Cab, "Letters From The Sky" by Civil Twilight, "If I Had A Gun" by Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, "Panic Station" by Muse, "We Used To Wait" and "Ready To Start" by Arcade Fire are just some examples from back in the day. And most recently they abruptly stopped playing "Bad Blood" by Bastille, "Guns for Hands" by twenty one pilots, anything by KONGOS, "Gold" by Sir Sly....there's others but I can't think of them at the moment. All really good songs that just disappeared out of nowhere one day. I don't understand why.

And one of the most offensive things is how the only MGMT songs they have played for years were "Kids" and "Time to Pretend". Then suddenly one day someone must have decided hey we should play something else by MGMT and despite having 3 fucking albums, they pull something off of Oracular Spectacular again. I love "Electric Feel" to death, but they couldn't have picked "It's Working" or- I'm really pushing it here- "Alien Days" or something off of the latter 2 albums?

ETA 11/22: "Undisclosed Desires" by Muse, "Monster" by Paramore, and "Coming Of Age" by Foster the People are other ones they just abruptly stopped playing. I am also trying to remember if they ever used to play "Called Out In The Dark" by Snow Patrol, but I can't remember, but if they did, they stopped playing that as well. And I want to say "The High Road" by Broken Bells as well, but I think every once in a blue moon they still play it.

9:42PM: And the list continues on...."Jump Into The Fog" by the Wombats, "Love Love Love" by Of Monsters and Men, "Carried Away" by Passion Pit, "Hell and Back" by the Airborne Toxic Event, "The Adventures Of Rain Dance Maggie" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Giants" by Bear Hands, "My Sweet Summer" by Dirty Heads

Random Thoughts

Well, our 4th of July cookout (on the 5th) was an experience. My dad was a miserable bastard because my grandparents, aunt, and my aunt's friend came. Our grill caught on fire. That was horrifying. Every time a grill is used, one of my biggest fears is it catching on fire and exploding, so needless to say when flames started shooting out of it, I was freaking out (internally) because all I could see were the flames hitting the propane tank and....well, you can picture the rest. And everyone in my family basically just stood around and watched it and I wanted to scream JFC people will you get the hell away from it?! I was shaking so bad for quite a while after it finally was put out. I am still horrified from it because I can't get the image of it out of my head and the thought of the flames hitting the propane tank.

I can't believe the weekend is going to be over already. And it was a sucky ass weekend. I did not do one thing of interest at all. Friday I did shit, except scrub my tub and clean the inside of my car. I am almost wishing I would have cleaned my bedroom. Saturday was the cookout, which ended up being pretty boring. No chance to go down the shore, no anything. Now it will be back to hell.

I am so damn furious over this whole thing with August. I can't even describe just how pissed I am. For one, I don't understand what our most senior employee being out on vacation that week has to do with me. We don't even do the same job (well, sometime she does what I do, but it's very rare). When she is on her vacation 2 weeks prior, one of our medical assistants is going to be out that same week. Why is it okay for her to be out that week as well? And really now- is my being out really going to affect the workload that much? In case my manager forgot, I am slow as shit.

I have said a million times before and I will say it again- I will never understand my manager's logic of thinking. Most of my coworkers take lunch between noon and one. On Thursday, I get an email from my manager telling me my FWA is taking lunch at 1 and I need to cover for her until I go to lunch at 1:35 and to let her know when I am going to lunch so she can have someone cover me. On what planet does that make any sense? Why not just have someone who already took lunch sit up front and cover for the whole 45 (55) minutes the princess is gone? And we had 3 medical assistants in the office that day and once again, I had to sit up front when we had patients. I don't understand on the days we have patients why one of the girls who deal with patients on a regular basis can't sit up front. Why is my manager such a fucking moron?

Another thing I don't understand is how when my FWA had a 30 minute lunch, she came back in 35, 40 minutes. Her lunch is extended to 45 minutes because she is a special little princess who expects the whole world to stop and cater to her every beck and call because she decided to fucking reproduce and she is now coming back in 55 minutes or more. What the fuck is wrong with her? I have never wanted to hit someone upside the head as much as her. I would love to know how other breastfeeding moms work their breast pumping in the workplace. It seems like my FWA just came back from maternity leave and told my manager that she is breastfeeding at this time and this time and this time and my manager just catered to her. Like she expects the whole workplace to just stop and allow her to do whatever she wants when she wants. Another one of my coworkers, the one who plays on her phone all the time, I wasn't there when she had just had her son, but I am pretty sure she wasn't granted these special privileges when she was pumping.

And that's another thing that annoys me- how my FWA has to constantly bring up that she is pumping. Every time she is going to the bathroom to do so, she has to say "I am going to pump", like none of us know by now that that is what she is going to do. Every. Single. Damn. Time. Or one day she didn't get to finish doing something and she said "oh I would have gotten it done if I didn't have to stop and pump". I felt like turning to her and saying "gee, FWA, do you pump? Because we never would have known. Also, nobody gives a fuck if you pump". She was telling me one day about how she wasn't making a whole lot of milk when she first had the baby. I tuned out right after she said "I wasn't making enough milk". I think she rattled on for about 15 minutes about it after that. All I wanted to do was scream JFC I don't fucking care!

Earlier, 104.5 posted an article titled How Well Do You Know Imagine Dragons? on their Facebook page and....look, I know a lot of 104's fans aren't fans of them but I was pretty surprised at just how much people seem to hate them. I can understand disliking their music, but for the most part, who exactly do they hurt? I almost never, if ever, hear anything about them. They seem like really nice, down-to-earth guys. Same thing with MGMT. I very rarely read anything negative about them (I rarely read anything about them period) but when I do, it can be pretty hostile. And again, who do they hurt? And knowing what both front men are like (Dan having anxiety and depression, Andrew talking about having performance anxiety and other issues from album criticism), it makes me feel extra bad. It's not like they are out being obnoxious pricks like Kanye West or something or spreading messages of hate or anything horrible like that.

Random Thoughts

I don't get eating competitions. I hate to be that person, but FFS there are starving people in the world and we have to have competitions to see who can shove the most food down their gullets as fast as possible? Then again, with the way I restrict food, am I really any better? I have access to plenty of food and choose to restrict it for fear of getting fat. But it's not like I am starving myself. I eat no less than 1350 calories a day, which could essentially still be too little for me, but who in the hell knows? It's still not starvation. Anyway, I am a sick fuck, we all know that.

I was cleaning my tub earlier and "Creep" by Radiohead was on and since 104.5 is doing back to back this weekend, I thought, if they play "Karma Police" next, I will be ecstatic. Much to my delight, it was the next song they played. Now I have not been able to get enough of it today. I kind of stopped listening to it there for a while and forgot how good of a song it was.

I also realized that Tuesday was the 3 year anniversary of the first time I heard "It's Working", aka the song that ultimately brought on my MGMT obsession. It's corny, I know, but.....shut up.

And speaking of Tuesday, I haven't wanted to say anything and jinx myself, but you-know-what did finally appear on Tuesday. I was going to absolutely lose my mind if it didn't come soon. I don't even know what I would have done if it didn't come. I'd probably be in the hospital right now. I was never so relieved to see my period as I was the other day. I nearly broke down in tears in the bathroom. Sad, isn't it? And every time I start to want to complain about it, I have to mentally kick and remind myself that I need to shut my trap and be happy that it is here.

Yesterday and today I haven't felt too hot. I took my blood pressure at one point yesterday and it was 100/54, then a little later it was 126/72. My heart has felt fluttery. Also, I have been salting my food like crazy. And you would think that I would be going absolutely apeshit right now, but I don't know, I just can't muster enough energy to give a shit anymore whether I have Addison's disease or not (although that is the underlying reason why I am terrified to go through early menopause, go figure). I went through TWO years of absolute fucking mental HELL worrying that I had it and now it's like it never even bothered me.

And because I can never have less than several things to fret about in life (ridiculous or not), I brought up to my manager the other day about possibly taking 3 days off in August to go down the shore with my grandparents. Of course, wouldn't you know our most senior employee is on vacation that week? Because I guess the week of vacation 2 weeks prior isn't enough. So my manager says while she doesn't see a problem with it right now, she can't officially give me an answer until the end of the month when she gets back from vacation herself. I want to cry. I thought for sure it would have been okay. Oh sure it was okay for people to be out on vacation while my FWA was out on her extra special long maternity leave and the work was backed up. Now everyone is back, including 2 new employees, and I have to wait to get an answer because my manager wants to see what the workload is going to be like.

And of course, people are like well call out if it's not approved. Which makes me only feel even shittier about the whole situation. I would like to but I would be so afraid of getting written up or fired. But if I don't go down and something happens to my grandparents between then and next year, I will never forgive myself for putting my job over my family. No matter how shitty I may treat my family, I still love them and they will always come first. But then if I get fired, I'll never forgive myself. There is no fucking win for me here. Except to have the vacation approved.

Song Of The Day

Radio 104.5 has been playing this song for a while and I couldn't decide for the longest time if I liked it or not, but I finally realized I like it a lot. The first time I heard this song, I thought why is Aloe Blacc and Elton John doing a song together? Then I found out it was not only neither of them, but it was one person. I also cannot remember the last time I actually cried at a music video. What an awful, disturbing situation. I know it's only a music video, but we all know that this kind of shit really happens, especially in other countries. No one should have to die for who they love (unless it's harming someone, of course):

Random Thoughts

In my annual performance review, I got a 4.75 out of 5 for attendance. I have been thinking about it and thinking about it and I am PISSED. I am NEVER late. I NEVER leave early. My lunch has NEVER ONCE gone over 30 minutes. I have called out ONCE. Why in the FUCK do I only get a 4.75?! And of course I am too much of a goddamn pussy to speak up and say anything.

I swear, one of these days I am going to get so sick and tired of being taken advantage of and not speaking up for myself that I am going to split into 2 personalities a la Me, Myself & Irene. And I hate the phrase, but there is no other way to describe it- it's going to be fucking EPIC.

In work on Friday, that luncheon was planned for noon. Before that, I had went up to ask my FWA something and she asked me what was I doing about taking lunch (I always take lunch around 1:30, she takes it after I get back, which reminds me of something else to complain about) and then says she doesn't know what she is going to do, because she can't not see her baby (she always drives to her mom's during lunch). I wanted to laugh at her. Millions of moms work and take lunch without ever seeing their babies until they get home! God, she is so fucking ridiculous. She said she'd probably just take her usual lunch, but then she ended up going in to the luncheon at noon and staying in there for a good 45 minutes.....and then still went home at her normal lunch time! It amazes me how much my manager lets her get away with.

And going back to the lunch thing, the day my FWA came back, I get an email from my manager telling me I need to sit upfront when my FWA goes to lunch. I wanted to write back and say excuse me am I the only one who works in the office? Like why do I have to be the only one who ever sits up front? Why can't it be alternated? It's such fucking bullshit. God, I need a backbone.

On another note, last weekend my mom and I ran to Target to get some things and while I was there, I thought maybe I will buy the Imagine Dragons CD since I liked it so much and there was one copy left so I grabbed it and figured eh I'll decide before I leave whether I want to actually buy. I ended up buying it and put it on in the car on the way home. "Radioactive" is the first song on the album and a few seconds into the lyrics starting I hear my mom singing along with it. I said "you actually know this song?!" and she said something like oh yeah I have heard it on TV before. I just laughed. I know I have played it before in the car with her but I didn't think she actually really knew it. Then again, it did get played a lot there for awhile.

I never quite got the blow up of the song, because it blew up long after I first started hearing it on the radio. My local alt rock station 104.5 was playing it long before other stations. I think I remember hearing it on 104.5 as far back as January 2013. It was one of those songs like "Kids"- I kept hearing it and liked it, but never did any research on the name or group (and if I recall, I thought it was that Alex Clare guy). I didn't actually download it until March 2013. And several months later, out of nowhere, it was playing EVERYWHERE.

God, I am going to be SO FAT after the past few days of eating!

Song Of The Day

Back when I worked before I got laid off, I used to hear this song a lot on 104.5 and then they just suddenly stopped playing it. They need to start playing it again:

The WTF Of The Day

Radio 104.5 - Philadelphia's Alternative

No Andrew?

Random Thoughts

I mentioned a few posts ago that it was the 5th birthday of this "blog", and almost 2 years since I was initially laid off from my job. It was also recently the anniversary of one of the worst hypochondriac fears I have ever encountered. It was October 3.  No fear ever shook me like Addison's disease. And I am ashamed to admit it, but the thing that probably shook me up the most was the fact that if I had it, I would have to go on steroids and I would probably get fat. I think I can finally say I do not have it, but I do still have moments. For instance, on Thursday night, I started feeling really off balance and shaky, and right away I was in taking my blood pressure. It was 103/61. Still not considered low, but it was getting there, especially on the bottom. And I felt the same way Friday, and I had two episodes of feeling light-headed when I stood up. I am still not feeling too hot. I have so much pressure in my ears. In fact, I feel similar to how I did before I lost my job. It wouldn't surprise me. I do believe there is probably mold and shit in that place. I think I won't be as bad as I was with believing I have it, but I don't think I will ever completely stop. I think there will still be moments where I get scared I have it. Not to mention I feel if I let go of the fear completely, I will jinx myself. It's a really fucked up mentality.

I think the reason I am feeling so lousy is a combination of allergies and I just got my period. I think that is why I felt so lousy the past couple days. I hate how I feel before it comes. I am so exhausted I can't even stand it. And nauseous as anything. I feel like throwing up. And once again, another week has gone by and I am still 124 pounds on the scale. I would say well, maybe I did just gain weight, but with as bloated as I am, I really think it has something to do with that. And my whole lower left side is hard and slightly more bloated than the right. What on earth is going on in there? And I still keep putting off having this ultrasound done. I could just wait until I get medical in December, but I am tired of putting it off. If they find a cyst or something, though, the temptation to be a smartass and post it to Facebook is going to be too great.

In work, when we are allowed to listen to the radio, we listen to B101. That station is just the worst. And I think they must have a Katy Perry quota to meet every day. I heard five songs by her before noon. Five! It was torturous. They might play a good song here and there, but the majority of the songs are just awful. And Friday was the first time I actually heard that "Blurred Lines" in full. Of course a song like that would be incredibly popular. Horrible. Just horrible.

Most radio stations are awful, but when I do listen to the radio I generally stick with 98.1 (the not so oldies station) or Radio104.5. They play their fair share of shit ("Freshmen" by the Verve, Third Eye Blind and the rest of the frat boy bands, Panic At the Disco, all Fall Out Boy songs except "My Songs"), but they are the only station who plays MGMT. And sure, it's only "Kids" and "Time To Pretend", and for a while there, they played "YLIAL" on the new music show, but I like those songs, so I will always gleefully listen to them when they come on.

You know, somehow I manage to keep forgetting I am going to see them in December. I am slightly dreading it, to be honest. I am extremely stoked about seeing them, but I am really worried about the whole crowd situation. I hope it ends up being good, though. I really wish they would start playing a little more off of the new album. I love "YLIAL", but I am already getting a little tired of it being the one song they always perform. Come on. Play some "A Good Sadness" and "An Orphan of Fortune". And retire some of their old repertoire already (but do not, and I repeat DO NOT, ever retire "Siberian Breaks", "I Found A Whistle", and "Of Moon, Birds, and Monsters". Especially "I Found A Whistle". That song is so fucking flawless live, I can't stand it.). And bring back some of the old songs. I want to hear "Future Reflections" live, dammit!

I am on this and over reading a post on a certain gossip site about Rashida Jones supposedly "slut shaming". Ugh I won't even get into it again about that term, but damn, I have never seen a group of people get so up in arms about shit as the members over on that site. It's fucking ridiculous. And for some reason, it just reminded me of one time on a really old MGMT post someone called Andrew's ex a "Swedish whore". I am sure they were joking, but....okay. For a site that gets itself so up in arms at the slightest sign of "slut shaming", I am surprised no one dragged the shit out of the member. And uh, again, she isn't even Swedish. Still not quite sure why a whole bunch of people who call themselves big fans wouldn't know that she is Irish.

I also just thought about that Electronic Beats article where Andrew mentioned breaking up with his girlfriend right before a show back in 2010, and I imagine it was her. I don't know, something about that story doesn't sit right with me, especially the whole it was awful and dramatic part. Oh, and the whole take your girlfriend to a foreign country, go to dinner with her the night before, then break up with her the next day part. And right before he was about to go on stage and perform? Really, Andrew? Did your girl become obsolete and you needed to upgrade to a newer model? I hope he had a good fucking excuse to break up with someone like that, because if not, then that is just cruel. Or did he do something bad? I always hear about musicians being cheaters, and unfortunately, no matter how much I think the sun shines out of DAT FOOOOINE BONY ASS, he still is a young white American male with fame and money, so I probably shouldn't be too surprised. But I would hope it's not true. Or that he did something just as bad as cheating. If I ever find out he is an ass to his women, I will be really disappointed, because he seems like he was raised with a good head on his shoulders and to be respectful.

I think it's kind of a pathetic way for someone my age to think, especially about people I never met, but I do genuinely like this group and care about them. They seem like smart, likable, nice boys, albeit a bit awkward, which, if you ask me, makes them all the more endearing. And talented as hell. Even if you don't like their music, you cannot tell me they are not talented.

I finally got Popeye's tonight. And wouldn't you know my taste buds are off due to the monthly bitch? I also finally got a pumpkin pie Blizzard. Huzzah!*

*and I wonder why my digestive system is so bad. JFC.

Do It! Do It Now!

The Great Bonnaroo Bracket - Radio 104.5

As if I have to tell you what to do here.

I went through the gallery of pictures and it's not often I will actually say "Andrew, what the FUCK are you wearing", because generally I just brush off whatever he is wearing, but this made me say it. And it pains me to say anything negative about him, but it's also one of those pictures where I wonder if people are on to something when they make remarks about his hygiene, because frankly, he looks like he may stink to high heaven. The outfit itself is fine; I mean, I am about to run to Wal-Fart in a few minutes and I have basically the same outfit on (dear God, I hope I don't end up on People of Wal-Mart, although compared to what I usually see at Wal-Fart, I will look like a supermodel), except mine does not look like it smells, my t-shirt is blue, and my pants have Homer Simpson on them. But then you look at Ben, all nice in a suit and tie, not to mention it looks like they are at an awards show, and it's like what in the hell. It looks like Ben was walking along and decided to pick up some random homeless person off the streets.

ETA 5/21: Ixnay on the voting. They were voted out.

I'm kind of surprised at this. I'm not a fan, but I do like some of Florence & the Machine's music and I think Florence is very talented, although she does seem to have a bit of a booze issue. But beating out MGMT? Especially by such a large percentage? Just kind of blows my mind.

Video Of The Day

Shhhhhhhh. Don't tell anyone. I really freaking like this song:

"Welcome to the Black Parade"

I always get emotional at this part. It's not that it makes me want to cry, but let's just say it's a good thing no one has ever caught me in work whenever it comes on 104.5 (which lately it keeps coming on after MGMT songs and all I can think of is this and I lol. I had to impose a limit on how long I am allowed to look at those pictures. Especially the 2nd one. *starts swaying* Oh god, stared too long. Must. Turn. Away. But. Cannot.). What? Don't make fun of me!

"Because one day I'll leave you
A phantom to lead you in the summer
To join the black parade"

Video Of The Day

Radio 104.5 is the first place I ever heard this song and it was always one of those songs I would never say I disliked, but was just kind of meh on. And then one time it came on and I don't know what it was about that particular moment that I finally came to appreciate it:



And now that I think about it wasn't even until further in the song, when the male solo vocal starts, when I finally realized just how truly great this song is:

As it withers
Brittle it shakes
Can you whisper
As it crumbles and breaks
As you shiver
Count up all your mistakes
Pair of forgivers
Let go before it's too late
Can you whisper

Video Of The Day

Radio 104.5 played this a couple times today and....holy mother of God, the Killers seriously need to think about making this a full length song, because it is just beyond awesome:

Random Thoughts

Well, that was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I finally forced myself to go to bed about 3AM and there had only been one tornado warning issued for further north to me by then. I kept the Weather Channel on while I tried to go to sleep and it took a little time, but I finally fell asleep. I woke up a couple of times during the rest of the night and checked the TV, but I don't believe any more warnings came after that. I was a nervous wreck, though. Not just with the tornado warnings, but just how bad the winds were going to get when the bitch finally touched NJ.

I was a little pissed off that Ativan took so long to kick in. The pill was actually expired, so I am surprised it even worked at all, but I could have used it a lot sooner, like during the three nearly consecutive tornado warnings! That moment of looking outside and seeing all of the light flashing was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. I have watched enough of the Weather Channel specials on tornadoes and many times I saw scenes of tornadoes being filmed and it looked just like that. And with the rain being so heavy, I really couldn't see anything, which only scared me even more. But I was certain one was coming at the time.

Of course today, I am getting the lecture from my mother of how I got myself all worried over nothing and even when I told her about the three tornado warnings and how that moment of the light flashing looked just like what I have seen on many storm story shows, I get "well, stop watching so much TV". My response? Well, this is why people end up being killed. Because they don't pay attention to this shit. I hate anxiety with a passion and always imagining the worst of the worst happening, but in the end, it does have an upside. Shit, if I lived in a house with a basement, assuming it was not flooded at that point, I would have drug my bed and whatever else I wanted with me down into it and spent the rest of the night down there.

I hated rushin the weekend, but I just wanted it over. Except now it's back to hell, er, work. But good news! Next weekend is a three day weekend! Huzzah! It's kind of depressing, though, that the end of summer is coming. I love fall, but I am not ready for summer to be over.

But anyway, onto something new. Ah yes, the fight on Durrrsey Shur! The fight I have been anticipating seeing since TMZ first broke the story about it. What a fucking disappointment! I should have known better. I should have known it would be blown all out of proportion by the evil bastards at MTV and also that it would come right at the end of the episode so it would be drug out into another one (which I think is on tonight or something). It was hilarious, though. Ronnie getting all pissy and taking his shirt off. He took his shirt off and means business now, yo! Then him storming in like an angry little Hulk and doing this to Mike. Mike denying getting involved in the relationship. At this point I was about to lose it. Really, Mike? You don't get involved? Delusion, thy name is Mike! That is ALL he seems to do! Then Mike's hissy fit (which eerily reminded me a little too much of the fit I threw after receiving that email from my boss. I was actually scaring myself when I threw that fit. I was so angry and I had no idea what to do with it.).

But the absolute best part was the huge dramatization in the scenes for the next episode. Holy god, that was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Everyone crying (yet not one person stepping in and doing a damn thing to stop the fight. But why should they when it could affect ratings, right?), a flat line bleeping sound effect....give me a fucking break! I will hardly be surprised if I decide to watch it tonight and it turns out to be nowhere near as bad it is portrayed.

I read some comments on the episode on Jezebel and some commenters raised a good point. A commentor by the name of Likeastar1032 said it best:

3) In the previews for the next episode, Sam is the one crying and apologizing for RON fighting and it looks like the housemates will frame it to be her fault, as usual. Again, no accountability for the men of Jersey Shore.

It's true. Sammi is an annoying pain in the ass cunt from the little I have seen of her, but she cannot be the 100% blame behind this. They are all adults. It is not her fault that two grown men can't handle their steroids and emotions and URST for each other and have to rage on each other.

And speaking of these cretins and blame, I 100% blame them for this hurricane. Since MTV unleashed that disease of a show on society, we have had two winters of constant coastal snow storms, an earthquake the other day, and now a hurricane. Of course, these problems have affected other states besides just Joisey, but maybe the head honcho doesn't want to make it obvious that he or she is punishing Joisey for this show, so the catastrophes are spead to other areas and....you know what? What in the HELL am I even talking about?

7:09PM: He banged his own head on the wall? Really, MTV? REALLY? And the crap afterwards- watching 2 juiced up douchebags fight like two school girls, Jenni standing around crying that she doesn't want the kid to die (okay, I know seemingly benign head injuries can kill, like with Natasha Richardson, but come on)- is making me want to do the same thing to myself.

*rips off naughty nurse costume* Fuck you, Mike! You did this! Take care of yourself!

7:32PM: Why would 7 people leave their roommate with a concussion alone?

7:52PM: What are the statistical odds that 4 of the 5 MGMT songs on my iPod would play back to back on a shuffled playlist? I know....I need to listen to more songs by them. Technically, I know 6 songs by them, 2 of which I know from 104.5 ("Kids" and "Time To Pretend"), 1 from the Music Choice channels ("It's Working"), and the rest from the video suggestion box on Youtube while watching the other three ("Electric Feel", "Flash Delirium", and "Congratulations"), but "Congratulations" hasn't grown on me yet. I am just concerned if I were to listen to any more of their songs, my brain wouldn't be able to handle that much awesomeness.

8:31PM: Okay, I'm a dumbass and do think he kind of has a point, and I am guilty of defending this asshole (I defended him against my WA the other day when she kept making snide comments about him. I was half-tempted to rebut at one time with "what happened to the person we all love, but love to hate like you said before?" but then decided against it), but.....












Really, Mike? How old are you again? Oh, but that's right. All publicity is good publicity, right?

Now....here is what a REAL man has to say to this posting.

10:27PM: Oh god, Bouncy (as Lady Miss Kier calls her) is pregnant? Christ. We'll never hear the end of this. It will be like she is delivering the second coming of God.

Comment Of The Day

From Radio 104.5's Facebook page on how Irene is making people feel:


















I so badly want to be like everyone on my Facebook page and make light of this situation, but I am finding it really hard to make any jokes when my anxiety levels are so high, And while I briefly thought about it the other day, I almost completely forgot how hurricanes can spawn tornadoes, so that added another weight to my anxiety scale. I hate psychiatric drugs with a passion, but what I would not do for a major tranquilizer of the absolute highest quality right now.

On the plus side....because I am sure everyone really wants to know this....the excessive amounts of anxiety have been keeping certain organs in the body functioning.

8:10PM: I discovered a little before 6:30PM that my area was under a tornado watch until 8PM. I have been waiting- with even higher anxiety levels than when I initially typed this post- for the threat to be over at 8. Only to have this one expire and a new one is in place. Until 5 AM.

I have no idea how I am ever going to get through this night without losing it completely.

12:36AM: Three. Three tornado warnings right in my county (and about a million others in the rest of South Joisey, Delaware, and Pennsy). The first, ending at 9:30PM, was a little further down in my county, the third was further up in central Joisey, but the second one, ending at 10:45PM, was expected to hit a little too close for comfort. During the first one I happened to look outside and see different parts of the sky flashing white and green. I don't know if it was lightening or circuits being blowing out but that scared the absolute hell out of me. I thought for sure one was coming despite the spotted one being closer to the shore. One point during the second one my left hand and arm started to go numb and all I could think was oh god, leave it to me to have a heart attack in the middle of a storm. All I know is I am really hoping and praying no more come after this.

I wish I would have been able to get a picture of it, but the last two issued in my county, they were only issued in part of the county, but both were at the same time and on the map, they intersected and were both right around my town. It was freaky.

1:17AM: The old Ativan I took at, oh, 10:30PM....it's finally working.

Video Of The Day

My newest addiction:



I finally looked up the lyrics....and now I can understand why the DJ on 104.5 said the song is pretty disturbing. Dayum! How does a song with such a cute and light hearted beat have such deeply disturbing lyrics? The only thing more disturbing than the song is my dance to it.

Lyrics Of The Day

"You Will Leave A Mark" by A Silent Film:

I am so ashamed
I am so ashamed of all the trouble I have caused
and I am so ashamed of all these unopened doors
I am so ashamed of what I have become

That oh, my heart is bursting again
Don't leave this mark
But your eyes are turning away
Ooooooohh, aaaaaaaahh

I am of the west
I am fair skinned
I deserve a bullet in my chest
If I have no religion and no reason to be scared
If I am going to hell then I just dont care

That oh, my heart is bursting again
Don't leave this mark
But your eyes are turning away
Ooooooohh, aaaaaaaahh (2x)

That oh, my heart is bursting again
Don't leave this mark
But your eyes are turning away
Ooooooohh, aaaaaaaahh (2x)

Man, they are going to be in Philly at the Piazza for a free Radio 104.5 concert on Saturday and even though I only know 2 songs by them, I WANT TO GO SO DAMN BAD! *cries*:

GRRRRR!

I have reconciled my relationship with 104.5 again and this was the first place I ever heard "Driven By Their Beating Hearts" by A Silent Film and not long after hearing it, I downloaded it from Walmart.com. I recently heard a new song, "You Will Leave A Mark", by the band and I love it, so I figured maybe I would download it off Walmart.com. However, no matter what kind of search I put in, I can find no songs by A Silent Film anymore. That said.....

Things That Make Me Happy

My blog is always so damn full of negativity that I decided to go a different route tonight and list things that make me happy, in no particular order:

1. Ice cream, especially any that involve Oreos
2. Tastycake Angelfood cakes
3. Chicken parm
4. Music, especially at loud volumes
5. Weird NJ magazine
6. Diet Coke
7. Unlimited refills
8. Futurama
9. The Simpsons
10. The Three Stooges marathons every Friday night
11. Bowling, even though I suck at it
12. Bacon cheeseburgers, especially Fridays
13. Onion rings
14. My two cups of coffee with hazelnut cream every morning
16. Chocolate mocha Fiber One bars
17. Wegman's black cherry and peach nonfat yogurts
18. S'Mores statues
19. Orgasms
20. PUPPIES!!! (pretty much all baby animals)
21. McMillan's Bakery cream donuts
22. Butterfinger Crisp bars
23. A good day with my stomach (gross, I know, but what can I say?)
24. Extra mint chocolate chip gum
25. Corn dogs
26. Driving on empty highways
27. Big fat medical books
28. Vanilla frosting
29. Stauffers Animal crackers
30. The shore
31. Dancing like an idiot when I am alone
32. Sleeping
33. Psychological, medical, and legal thrillers
34. Chick lit (yeah, I am guilty)
35. Radio 104.5
36. Fall
37. Peddler's Village
38. Singing, even though I am absolutely terrible at it
39. Falling asleep while it is raining
40. Singing along with a song and realizing I know all of the lyrics
41. Men screaming like girls
42. Seeing comments I made get "Liked"
43. Nesting dolls