It's already been given the honor, but whatever; I personally thought this video was more horrifying than "Kids":
When they sang this at Musikfest, Andrew was very mellow at the end. It was weird.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
The WTF Of The Day
"Kids" is gruesome? Really, Youtube?
You want gruesome, Youtube, list some Nicki Minaj and Lil Wayne videos.
Random Thoughts
Alright, I don't know what is going on with my body. I don't particularly want to discuss this, but this inter-cycle bleeding is starting to really worry me. Every month, probably for the past three or four months, right around ovulation time, I start bleeding. Not heavy, but not particularly light. I don't know what possible hormone could be out of whack, or what could be going on. My face has been breaking out nonstop. I want to cry. I need to go to the doctor, but thanks to my stupid mouth, I need to keep putting money out to get unnecessary cavities filled.
And do you know what this is bringing back? The fear of Addison's disease. I swear to God, I am never going to get rid of that fear.
I just viewed more pictures of the destruction left by Sandy and I cannot believe what Seaside looks like now. Much of the boardwalk is gone. This extended pier that came out over the water that I adored going out on is gone. Where I once looked down and saw a fever of stingrays (yes, I googled that) swim by. All of the Jersey shores are in such bad shape. My heart is broken. I always talk about how much I dislike Jersey, but the shore points are one of the main reasons I would never leave. And while I have spent many years thinking how I would love to move down the shore someday, after Irene and Sandy, I am reconsidering that.
I haven't seen many pictures of my true shore love, Wildwood, but I think the boardwalk is okay down there. Areas are pretty flooded, though.
And that fire in Breezy Point. Mother of God. That area looks post-apocalyptic. That was one of the most haunting set of pictures I have ever saw. And this may sound really stupid, as I don't know the whole situation, but how did so much burn when there was so much damn rain?
I see some of the pictures of rescuers and I think how I'd like to do that, but then I see the pictures of the devastated people and I change my mind. I would never be strong enough to do so. If someone broke down crying in front of me, I'd break down and cry with them. I'd be that person on the news holding the other person while sitting on the ground wailing our heads off.
I was looking at the pictures when "Siberian Breaks" came on and considering many of the pictures are of the ocean, it made it kind of eerie.
And do you know what this is bringing back? The fear of Addison's disease. I swear to God, I am never going to get rid of that fear.
I just viewed more pictures of the destruction left by Sandy and I cannot believe what Seaside looks like now. Much of the boardwalk is gone. This extended pier that came out over the water that I adored going out on is gone. Where I once looked down and saw a fever of stingrays (yes, I googled that) swim by. All of the Jersey shores are in such bad shape. My heart is broken. I always talk about how much I dislike Jersey, but the shore points are one of the main reasons I would never leave. And while I have spent many years thinking how I would love to move down the shore someday, after Irene and Sandy, I am reconsidering that.
I haven't seen many pictures of my true shore love, Wildwood, but I think the boardwalk is okay down there. Areas are pretty flooded, though.
And that fire in Breezy Point. Mother of God. That area looks post-apocalyptic. That was one of the most haunting set of pictures I have ever saw. And this may sound really stupid, as I don't know the whole situation, but how did so much burn when there was so much damn rain?
I see some of the pictures of rescuers and I think how I'd like to do that, but then I see the pictures of the devastated people and I change my mind. I would never be strong enough to do so. If someone broke down crying in front of me, I'd break down and cry with them. I'd be that person on the news holding the other person while sitting on the ground wailing our heads off.
I was looking at the pictures when "Siberian Breaks" came on and considering many of the pictures are of the ocean, it made it kind of eerie.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Random Thoughts
Well.....that was something. The winds sound like they have finally started to decrease some and I don't think it is raining anymore. Still not ready to let my guard down, though.
Boy, did the shore points get slammed. Especially AC. AC is flooded to all holy hell and the boardwalk is pretty much gone. I have been saying for the past couple years that I have been wanting to go to the AC boardwalk, since I haven't been on the boardwalk in probably close to a decade. I have been to AC a few times during those past couple years, but I was always at the Borgata and had no time to go to the boardwalk. And it was at night and if you know AC, you don't want to be on that boardwalk at night. At least I don't, after the last time I was there at night. Now I won't get to see it ever. Or at least until it is rebuilt. Hopefully.
I have been listening to the news most of the day and it just amazes me the stupidity of people. One lady was saying she wasn't leaving because Irene was over-hyped and she wasn't wasting money leaving again. I wish I could remember what are she lived in, because if it was one of the big time affected areas, I hope she is eating her words. If she's alive. Dumb ass. And then I saw video or picture after video or picture of people actually surfing in the ocean. And aside from the overflow of hot men in wetsuits (JFC that combination was a gift from God), are these people nuts? What the hell? And then everyone is sad at the casualties of the storms and I have to wonder how many of them could have been prevented if people were not so arrogant and stupid.
I just cannot even begin to describe how thankful I am for the colder weather being around to keep the tornado threat down. I think I read on Sunday that if it were not, the tornado threat would have been huge. That gave me the chills when I read that. Irene was enough for me.
In times of particularly bad anxiety, it almost amazes me how powerful my imagination can be, of what I can imagine happening. If I sat and listed everything that has been running through my head since Friday of what could happen, it's astonishing just how far I can push my imagination.
Now....I should try to go get a decent night's sleep.
Boy, did the shore points get slammed. Especially AC. AC is flooded to all holy hell and the boardwalk is pretty much gone. I have been saying for the past couple years that I have been wanting to go to the AC boardwalk, since I haven't been on the boardwalk in probably close to a decade. I have been to AC a few times during those past couple years, but I was always at the Borgata and had no time to go to the boardwalk. And it was at night and if you know AC, you don't want to be on that boardwalk at night. At least I don't, after the last time I was there at night. Now I won't get to see it ever. Or at least until it is rebuilt. Hopefully.
I have been listening to the news most of the day and it just amazes me the stupidity of people. One lady was saying she wasn't leaving because Irene was over-hyped and she wasn't wasting money leaving again. I wish I could remember what are she lived in, because if it was one of the big time affected areas, I hope she is eating her words. If she's alive. Dumb ass. And then I saw video or picture after video or picture of people actually surfing in the ocean. And aside from the overflow of hot men in wetsuits (JFC that combination was a gift from God), are these people nuts? What the hell? And then everyone is sad at the casualties of the storms and I have to wonder how many of them could have been prevented if people were not so arrogant and stupid.
I just cannot even begin to describe how thankful I am for the colder weather being around to keep the tornado threat down. I think I read on Sunday that if it were not, the tornado threat would have been huge. That gave me the chills when I read that. Irene was enough for me.
In times of particularly bad anxiety, it almost amazes me how powerful my imagination can be, of what I can imagine happening. If I sat and listed everything that has been running through my head since Friday of what could happen, it's astonishing just how far I can push my imagination.
Now....I should try to go get a decent night's sleep.
Monday, October 29, 2012
GTFO Sandy IV
Ugh, it figures that a migraine seems to be coming on. I hate migraines. Sleep is generally the only thing that can take them away for me. Or vomiting. And I really do not want to have to resort to the latter. But lord knows how the former will come.
It's not raining right now, but the wind is starting to pick up some. And I can feel more knots developing in my stomach. I am trying to listen to music and calm down, but it's not working. I'm nervous about the upcoming weather, I am worried about my sister having to drive to work in the morning.....I just want the next few days over so bad.
Son of a bitch.....TWC just announced that Sandy did turn left. Damn! I knew it was unlikely, but I kept hoping that she would decide to just go right.
1:06PM: My sister made it to work okay (hubby took her). Now we all just have to worry whether or not she will be coming home, if she can, and/or if the hospital makes her stay (her department called and told her to bring a bag last night). Raining, windy, typical pre-hurricane/tropical storm/post tropical/hybrid/whatever you want to call it conditions, blah blah blah. It's chilly as shit, too. According to TWC, Sandy is starting to speed up. Not sure if that is good news or bad news. Well, it's bad in the sense that she will be here sooner. But what that means in the sense of how it affects winds and maintaining the stability of the storm, I don't know. Those two are my biggest concerns. TWC is still saying tornado threat is low due to cold air surrounding the core. I'm still not letting my guard down on it, though. It also looks like Sandy could possibly hitting even further down the coast than yesterday (from 6ABC):
I saw pictures of Wildwood flooded yesterday, and the news has been down different areas and....just holy shit at the waves. All of our shore points! And we were just starting to get really gorgeous, vibrant foliage in my town and now it will probably all be gone. I'm sad now!
And not a fan of Christie, but man does he make some great speeches during these events.
3:32PM: Mama mia, she's not even on the coast yet! I think she is pretty close to Cape May, but not quite there yet. It's definitely gotten windier in my parts. Last high wind gust was 39MPH. The sound is making me nervous.
I'm reading an article over on Accuweather.com about no hurricane watches/warnings being issued, and people are complaining that it is stupid not to issue any. It isn't really stupid. If you pay attention to the news, not necessarily as obsessively as I have, it shouldn't take a watch or a warning for people to realize how serious this could be.
4:47PM: Damn, the pressure from this storm is really bothering the hell out of my ears.
5:03PM: THIS IS YOUR FAULT, MTV (photo courtesy of Twitter user @MatthewTaylorr):
I am pretty sure that is the Beach Bar, which is right across the way from the Beachcomber. Jesus. I just ate at that place on Labor Day weekend.
And you know what? Everyone and their damn sex posts on Facebook is getting on my last nerve. Because everyone that is posting them is gross, e.g. my FWA. And speaking of her, she posted a picture on Facebook yesterday of what I think is her and her brother, and her brother reminds me of Andrew. I can't stand it. I can't comprehend how someone who resembles such a gorgeous man can be related to her. She's nasty. Yuck.
6:36PM: Sandy made her entrance a little before 6PM, according to Accuweather. I think she landed between Avalon and Sea Isle City. These videos and pictures of the shore points underwater and with structural damage are breaking my heart!
7:23PM: Winds gusting to 68MPH. Yikes.
8:14PM: My sister called a few minutes ago. Home safe and sound.
It's not raining right now, but the wind is starting to pick up some. And I can feel more knots developing in my stomach. I am trying to listen to music and calm down, but it's not working. I'm nervous about the upcoming weather, I am worried about my sister having to drive to work in the morning.....I just want the next few days over so bad.
Son of a bitch.....TWC just announced that Sandy did turn left. Damn! I knew it was unlikely, but I kept hoping that she would decide to just go right.
1:06PM: My sister made it to work okay (hubby took her). Now we all just have to worry whether or not she will be coming home, if she can, and/or if the hospital makes her stay (her department called and told her to bring a bag last night). Raining, windy, typical pre-hurricane/tropical storm/post tropical/hybrid/whatever you want to call it conditions, blah blah blah. It's chilly as shit, too. According to TWC, Sandy is starting to speed up. Not sure if that is good news or bad news. Well, it's bad in the sense that she will be here sooner. But what that means in the sense of how it affects winds and maintaining the stability of the storm, I don't know. Those two are my biggest concerns. TWC is still saying tornado threat is low due to cold air surrounding the core. I'm still not letting my guard down on it, though. It also looks like Sandy could possibly hitting even further down the coast than yesterday (from 6ABC):
I saw pictures of Wildwood flooded yesterday, and the news has been down different areas and....just holy shit at the waves. All of our shore points! And we were just starting to get really gorgeous, vibrant foliage in my town and now it will probably all be gone. I'm sad now!
And not a fan of Christie, but man does he make some great speeches during these events.
3:32PM: Mama mia, she's not even on the coast yet! I think she is pretty close to Cape May, but not quite there yet. It's definitely gotten windier in my parts. Last high wind gust was 39MPH. The sound is making me nervous.
I'm reading an article over on Accuweather.com about no hurricane watches/warnings being issued, and people are complaining that it is stupid not to issue any. It isn't really stupid. If you pay attention to the news, not necessarily as obsessively as I have, it shouldn't take a watch or a warning for people to realize how serious this could be.
4:47PM: Damn, the pressure from this storm is really bothering the hell out of my ears.
5:03PM: THIS IS YOUR FAULT, MTV (photo courtesy of Twitter user @MatthewTaylorr):
I am pretty sure that is the Beach Bar, which is right across the way from the Beachcomber. Jesus. I just ate at that place on Labor Day weekend.
And you know what? Everyone and their damn sex posts on Facebook is getting on my last nerve. Because everyone that is posting them is gross, e.g. my FWA. And speaking of her, she posted a picture on Facebook yesterday of what I think is her and her brother, and her brother reminds me of Andrew. I can't stand it. I can't comprehend how someone who resembles such a gorgeous man can be related to her. She's nasty. Yuck.
6:36PM: Sandy made her entrance a little before 6PM, according to Accuweather. I think she landed between Avalon and Sea Isle City. These videos and pictures of the shore points underwater and with structural damage are breaking my heart!
7:23PM: Winds gusting to 68MPH. Yikes.
8:14PM: My sister called a few minutes ago. Home safe and sound.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
GTFO Sandy III
It's getting closer and closer to storm time. I honestly have no idea how I am going to get through the next few days without having a nervous breakdown. I can deal with lots of rain, and *gritting teeth* power outages. But it's the possibility of damaging winds, floods, and tornado threats that have me really off the wall. Look at Irene last year. Three tornado warnings nearly back to back. I was a wreck that entire day and my ability to handle stress was a smidgen better than it is now.
The good news is according to BAMF Dr. Forbes from the Weather Channel, the threat for tornadoes is supposed to be low. Something to do with low or very limited instability, and I have also heard too much cold air. I really hope it's true. As of now, the TOR:CON is this:
You know what? I am glad everyone I know can just joke about this and brush it off like it's nothing. Yeah, meteorologists have overblown things many times before. And frankly, I am PRAYING this is one of those times. But for God's sake, people. This isn't a joke.
My stomach is going to be in knots every time I go on any of these pages of what could be posted. I can't wait until all of this is over. I don't think I will have a good nights sleep until at least HOPEFULLY Tuesday night. Guess I should try to go get some sleep now.
12:15PM: Local news has Sandy's center crossing over AC.
2:40PM: TWC has Sandy's center crossing central Jersey.
2:48PM: LOL @ the local forecast playing "Pop Song 89" by REM
4:10PM: Mayor Bloomberg has a grating voice. Almost as bad as Chris Christie. He was on earlier. I swear, he took up almost the entire TV screen.
6:25PM: Any suggestions on how I can accidentally on purpose knock myself out for the next.....oh, say, 42 hours? I'm really starting to get nervous now. And my heart keeps beating irregularly. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. Man, I wish I had some booze.
9:49PM: MOTHER OF GOD, I AM SO SICK OF THE WEATHER CHANNEL!
Also, FINALLY some TOR:CON updates:
Hm. I wonder why none of the Sandy affected areas are listed anymore. Weird. Oh well. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
The good news is according to BAMF Dr. Forbes from the Weather Channel, the threat for tornadoes is supposed to be low. Something to do with low or very limited instability, and I have also heard too much cold air. I really hope it's true. As of now, the TOR:CON is this:
You know what? I am glad everyone I know can just joke about this and brush it off like it's nothing. Yeah, meteorologists have overblown things many times before. And frankly, I am PRAYING this is one of those times. But for God's sake, people. This isn't a joke.
My stomach is going to be in knots every time I go on any of these pages of what could be posted. I can't wait until all of this is over. I don't think I will have a good nights sleep until at least HOPEFULLY Tuesday night. Guess I should try to go get some sleep now.
12:15PM: Local news has Sandy's center crossing over AC.
2:40PM: TWC has Sandy's center crossing central Jersey.
2:48PM: LOL @ the local forecast playing "Pop Song 89" by REM
4:10PM: Mayor Bloomberg has a grating voice. Almost as bad as Chris Christie. He was on earlier. I swear, he took up almost the entire TV screen.
6:25PM: Any suggestions on how I can accidentally on purpose knock myself out for the next.....oh, say, 42 hours? I'm really starting to get nervous now. And my heart keeps beating irregularly. It's a very uncomfortable feeling. Man, I wish I had some booze.
9:49PM: MOTHER OF GOD, I AM SO SICK OF THE WEATHER CHANNEL!
Also, FINALLY some TOR:CON updates:
Many times tropical systems produce tornadoes as they move inland. However, in the case of Sandy the tornado threat will be fairly low. Our Severe Weather Expert Dr. Greg Forbes says that there is a low chance of a tornado on Monday in Rhode Island, eastern Massachusetts and southern Maine. On Tuesday, there is a low chance of a tornado in Maine, Vermont, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Rhode Island and eastern Long Island.Latest values:
Hm. I wonder why none of the Sandy affected areas are listed anymore. Weird. Oh well. I am keeping my fingers crossed.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
GTFO Sandy II
NJ is still in the projected path. I feel like having a nervous
breakdown. I have been a wreck all day. And miserable as hell. I've been
wanting to bite everyone's head off. And I had the joy of going baby
shower shopping with my aunt and grandmother earlier. Needless to say,
my stress levels are about double what they should be. I feel awful,
physically and emotionally. I hardly slept last night, and I have my
stress levels so high, my body hurts in ways I never imagined. I should
just go to bed, but I know it will be another sleepless night. I have a
long stretch of sleepless nights coming up. Lack of sleep means I am
going to be one nasty bitch for a while. And then it will be time for
PMS to rear its ugly head.
Stupid storm. Why can't it just veer off to the right like normal storms?
Stupid storm. Why can't it just veer off to the right like normal storms?
Friday, October 26, 2012
GTFO Sandy
As of now, TWC has this prediction:
So.....it looks like Sandy could be hitting Jersey. Lovely.
So.....it looks like Sandy could be hitting Jersey. Lovely.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Random Thoughts
Dentist appointment later on. I am really not looking forward to it. I am worried whether I have any cavities or anything else wrong. Another $100 out of my pocket. And I just really hate going to the dentist. I brush my teeth twice a day (for the full 2 minutes you are supposed to brush for), floss every night (okay, maybe I should do more) and as needed, and use anti-cavity alkie-free mouthwash. And I have sealants. If I have a cavity again, I am going to lose my shit.
And speaking of losing shit, there is talk that my area may be affected by Hurricane Sandy. Right now my local news station has 3 possible scenarios, but I hate every single one of them. I'll be all over my three favorite weather sites for the next few days.
My parents and I went to the store over the weekend to take a look at some of the things on my sister's registry and....wow, my sister and brother-in-law have some weird- and expensive- taste. I am more inclined to believe the weird taste is more the latter's, because while we have our differences, but my sister and I are very much alike when it comes to taste in things.
The other night something strange happened to me. I woke up in the middle of the night with my heavy ass Restoration Hardware blanket covering me and my eye mask on, neither of which were on me when I went to bed. And I am a hundred percent positive of that. It was too warm for the blanket and I have been trying to not use my eye mask to see if maybe that is why my face is breaking out, although I am starting to think that it is hormones, because here I am, once again, in the midst of my menstrual cycle and having some odd bleeding. Of course, I could be overreacting, as I could have simply just woke up and put both on me and just not remember doing so. But it still freaked me out. I've never done anything like this before. I jumped out of bed and went into every room in the house to see if anything was different. And then I started worrying about my mental health. That maybe this is a sign of me finally losing my mind.
I always wonder if losing my mind completely would be better than where I am at now, but if I lose my mind, I want it to happen overnight. None of this taking your good old time.
Stupid scumbag brain. One of these days I will finally declare war on it.
ETA 1:26PM: One cavity. How do I take such damn good care of my teeth and still have a cavity? I'm so sick of this. Now there goes another $180 out of my pocket.
And now it looks like Sandy could possibly hit us.
I can't with this. I'm going to go dig a hole and stay in it.
And speaking of losing shit, there is talk that my area may be affected by Hurricane Sandy. Right now my local news station has 3 possible scenarios, but I hate every single one of them. I'll be all over my three favorite weather sites for the next few days.
My parents and I went to the store over the weekend to take a look at some of the things on my sister's registry and....wow, my sister and brother-in-law have some weird- and expensive- taste. I am more inclined to believe the weird taste is more the latter's, because while we have our differences, but my sister and I are very much alike when it comes to taste in things.
The other night something strange happened to me. I woke up in the middle of the night with my heavy ass Restoration Hardware blanket covering me and my eye mask on, neither of which were on me when I went to bed. And I am a hundred percent positive of that. It was too warm for the blanket and I have been trying to not use my eye mask to see if maybe that is why my face is breaking out, although I am starting to think that it is hormones, because here I am, once again, in the midst of my menstrual cycle and having some odd bleeding. Of course, I could be overreacting, as I could have simply just woke up and put both on me and just not remember doing so. But it still freaked me out. I've never done anything like this before. I jumped out of bed and went into every room in the house to see if anything was different. And then I started worrying about my mental health. That maybe this is a sign of me finally losing my mind.
I always wonder if losing my mind completely would be better than where I am at now, but if I lose my mind, I want it to happen overnight. None of this taking your good old time.
Stupid scumbag brain. One of these days I will finally declare war on it.
ETA 1:26PM: One cavity. How do I take such damn good care of my teeth and still have a cavity? I'm so sick of this. Now there goes another $180 out of my pocket.
And now it looks like Sandy could possibly hit us.
I can't with this. I'm going to go dig a hole and stay in it.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Second Moronic Quote Of The Day
MORONS. MORONS EVERYWHERE TODAY.
Richard Mourdock On Abortion: Pregnancy From Rape Is 'Something God Intended'
One day I was reading the newspaper- probably the Talk Back section in the Courier-Post, a section full of right-wing old bags yelling about no socialism don't take my Medicare- and some numbskull said women need to stop using women issues as a factor for voting. Well, maybe if politicians stopped using abortion and the like as major factors in EVERY FUCKING ELECTION, we would.
Richard Mourdock On Abortion: Pregnancy From Rape Is 'Something God Intended'
One day I was reading the newspaper- probably the Talk Back section in the Courier-Post, a section full of right-wing old bags yelling about no socialism don't take my Medicare- and some numbskull said women need to stop using women issues as a factor for voting. Well, maybe if politicians stopped using abortion and the like as major factors in EVERY FUCKING ELECTION, we would.
The Moronic Comment Of The Day
Say What Now: Ann Coulter Edition of the Day
Every time I start to think I am the worst person on earth, I remind myself that people like Ann Coulter exist. Can she just die and go to hell where she belongs already?
Every time I start to think I am the worst person on earth, I remind myself that people like Ann Coulter exist. Can she just die and go to hell where she belongs already?
Moronic Quote Of The Day
From Liam on the Wanted (found here):
To be honest, we haven't really got a problem with anyone. We've never really said anything about it. We've kind of ignored it. But for me, The Wanted have made their career more about us than anything else. They've only got themselves to blame. They do their dance music and we'll do our rock'n'roll kind of thing. They've constantly compared us in the press. They rose to the bait, whereas we've said they can do what they want. When we first spoke to them, when we were on the X Factor, they were really nice. But then you hear these stories and can't quite believe what people are saying.I will forgive you for this, mostly because of this picture, but Liam....rock and roll?
Bored Anal Retentive Bitch Problems
Finally am getting around to calling unemployment today. The wait time at the beginning of my call was estimated at an hour seventeen minutes to an hour forty five minutes. I have been on hold for an hour and ten minutes.An hour and ten minutes of horrible Musik. I am going to scream. And it's only making me more anxious about talking to someone. Especially if I get one of the dreaded ignorant workers.
12:58PM: Someone picked up about 2 minutes later. Luckily she was friendly. She did what she needed to do and I am good to go.
I'll stop shaking inside in about 20 minutes hopefully.
12:58PM: Someone picked up about 2 minutes later. Luckily she was friendly. She did what she needed to do and I am good to go.
I'll stop shaking inside in about 20 minutes hopefully.
Video Of The Day
Showing today's boy bands how it's done!
Again....my eighth grade class song of the year. Fourteen years ago. *sobs* God I am old!
Again....my eighth grade class song of the year. Fourteen years ago. *sobs* God I am old!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Random Thoughts
I did some research on the message I received when I tried to claim my benefits the other day and it seems I have to call and reinstate my claim. Great. I have myself sick to my stomach all weekend about calling the unemployment office. I am dreading this. I want to cry.
I honestly wish there was a way I could just scream STOP and put my life on pause. Put it on hold until I figure out how to fucking pull my life together. I found this thread hidden in the City Data Unemployment forum and it gave me a strange sense of comfort. I constantly have the idea of suicide on my mind, and honestly I do not recall the last time in my life I did not think about it, but having to lose my job and go on unemployment has ramped it up big time.
I would never tell anyone in my family this, but one of the reasons I was pushing so hard to go to Musikfest was I was seriously contemplating ending my life and I wanted to make sure I saw them live before I would do it. If my family knew how much I think about suicide on a daily basis, they would have me at the hospital faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August*, despite not having any real plan or method.
*yes I have been watching a lot of Spongebob
And probably due to my excessive stress levels, I have had an exceptionally bad bout of heartburn the past few days. I wake up every morning feeling like I am going to puke, I feel violently hungry, and I have a really bitter taste in my mouth. I've taken Pepcid, but it is not taking it away.
I read an article a long time ago on ONTD about some singer Cher Lloyd having urine thrown at her at some British musical festival. And I thought wow, no singer is that bad to have something gross like that happen. And then....and then I heard her song. Good god. I just....I can't even begin to comprehend how someone that awful can get a record deal.
I also remember reading an article a long time ago that someone threw a bottle of urine at Will during some musical festival MGMT was performing at. It apparently was not true, according to a fabulous email written by Andrew. I love that picture of Andrew in the article.
On Friday at about 9PM, a bulletin came across the TV for a tornado warning in PA. Of course I got nervous and was watching the radar to see if the system would be coming to my area (it didn't, thank goodness). One area was hit pretty hard and it was confirmed that a tornado did hit. I know fall is second season, but it still seemed strange to hit now. And even stranger was it was an EF-1. Any tornado reports in this region that I have heard recently- well, since I started getting into watching weather and reading news on it- are usually EF-0's.
I did get my pumpkin pie Blizzard this weekend. I anticipate at least one more before October ends, although I am not fond of having to go to the mall again. Ugh, I hate that mall.
I honestly wish there was a way I could just scream STOP and put my life on pause. Put it on hold until I figure out how to fucking pull my life together. I found this thread hidden in the City Data Unemployment forum and it gave me a strange sense of comfort. I constantly have the idea of suicide on my mind, and honestly I do not recall the last time in my life I did not think about it, but having to lose my job and go on unemployment has ramped it up big time.
I would never tell anyone in my family this, but one of the reasons I was pushing so hard to go to Musikfest was I was seriously contemplating ending my life and I wanted to make sure I saw them live before I would do it. If my family knew how much I think about suicide on a daily basis, they would have me at the hospital faster than a barefoot jackrabbit on a hot greasy griddle in the middle of August*, despite not having any real plan or method.
*yes I have been watching a lot of Spongebob
And probably due to my excessive stress levels, I have had an exceptionally bad bout of heartburn the past few days. I wake up every morning feeling like I am going to puke, I feel violently hungry, and I have a really bitter taste in my mouth. I've taken Pepcid, but it is not taking it away.
I read an article a long time ago on ONTD about some singer Cher Lloyd having urine thrown at her at some British musical festival. And I thought wow, no singer is that bad to have something gross like that happen. And then....and then I heard her song. Good god. I just....I can't even begin to comprehend how someone that awful can get a record deal.
I also remember reading an article a long time ago that someone threw a bottle of urine at Will during some musical festival MGMT was performing at. It apparently was not true, according to a fabulous email written by Andrew. I love that picture of Andrew in the article.
On Friday at about 9PM, a bulletin came across the TV for a tornado warning in PA. Of course I got nervous and was watching the radar to see if the system would be coming to my area (it didn't, thank goodness). One area was hit pretty hard and it was confirmed that a tornado did hit. I know fall is second season, but it still seemed strange to hit now. And even stranger was it was an EF-1. Any tornado reports in this region that I have heard recently- well, since I started getting into watching weather and reading news on it- are usually EF-0's.
I did get my pumpkin pie Blizzard this weekend. I anticipate at least one more before October ends, although I am not fond of having to go to the mall again. Ugh, I hate that mall.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Video Of The Day
I was going to say just fast forward to the part I am mainly posting this for, but you have to watch the whole thing. Because....well....Andrew! And "The Handshake"! And multiple shots of DAT ASS.
1:18.....
1:18.....
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Song Of The Day
I would have put the actual video, but, um, it kind of freaked me out. Reminded me a little too much of the KKK, even though I know that would the furthest thing this group would do:
Thursday, October 18, 2012
First World Problems?
I have been so uptight and paranoid over the whole attempted account hacking thing since Tuesday. I never installed Emsisoft after my last reinstall, so I tried to install it on Tuesday night and it wasn't functioning properly. I would get to the update screen, it would update, and then I would get an error message on the Scan screen. I uninstalled it, tried to reinstall it, and it kept telling me I already had it running on my computer. So I go to the Emsisoft site to get a solution. I fix it, reinstall it, same problem, except this time I got some long ass message of an error. I then started to get paranoid whether it was a legitimate Windows error message, uninstalled it again, figured I'd run some more scans in Safe Mode. Can't get into Safe Mode. At this point I really started to panic. I finally said fuck it and reinstalled my entire computer AGAIN. I swear, if I do not see a Windows Update for a long time, I will be the happiest bitch alive.
Then today, I go to claim my biweekly benefits. Only to find out my claim expired.
Then today, I go to claim my biweekly benefits. Only to find out my claim expired.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
FML Part 2
I signed into one of my accounts today and received a message that a suspicious sign in had been prevented. A different IP address had attempted to access my account. I am freaking out here. I don't know how this happened. I went on a mad malware scan (all clean). I am a million percent positive I have not received any phishing emails, and even if I had, I would have immediately deleted it. I know better than to ever give any information after clicking on a link from an email. I always close out of the email and go straight to the webpage I know.
I hate life.
I hate life.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Random Thoughts
Good news- I am not feeling as shitty as my last post. Man, I don't know what the hell was up my ass that night. I was really feeling bad. I didn't end up going to the party, and not shockingly, I am feeling shitty about not going. There are times I start worrying that I could be sociopathic, but I think the amount of guilt and remorse I feel in a given day is solid proof that I am not. I very much doubt a sociopath could feel guilt and remorse like this.
There is not much I do not feel guilty over- if I respond to someone in a way I did not feel was polite, if I don't say the right thing, if something bad happens, even if it is well out of my control, etc. Back in 2005, when I worked in a billing office, there was a doctor's office on the floor below and one day a man came in wanting to know if the office was open, and he starts telling me how his wife was just diagnosed with cancer and I don't remember what I said to him and while I don't recall being rude, I don't think I was sympathetic. More I was just shocked that this complete stranger was sharing with me, another complete stranger, of his wife's illness. But I still feel guilty that I was not more sympathetic to him.
I blame myself for pretty much everything that has went wrong in my life, including developing mental illness. Which for someone who is adamant about not having mental illness portrayed in a negative light anymore, it is a piss poor attitude towards it. I want for society to stop blaming mentally ill people for their illnesses, that it is as much of a real disease as cancer, yet I blame myself for my illness. Illnesses. Whatever.
I read an article over on Cracked about movie stereotypes and one was about disabilities in movies. How death seems to be preferred over being disabled. And that disabled people got all butt-hurt over it. Not that it takes much to butt-hurt people nowadays, especially some disabled people. I remember I read a blog a few years ago by a disabled woman and man, did she bitch a lot. But that isn't important. Look, maybe some people can overcome their disability and all that, but some just can't. I've already made it clear to most people in my life that should a time ever come in my life where I am faced with multiple limb amputation or death, do me the favor of death. I'll be damned to spend a life like that. And huzzah for you if you can do it. I can't. And frankly, a person's choice of wanting death over disability does not affect another disabled person's life.
I read Blind Gossip on a daily basis, mostly for the fun of it, because blind items are always to be taken with a grain of salt. But as soon as I saw this one today, I knew a big storm would be coming. Because Louis was the first person I thought of. And sure enough, the storm of Larry fans did not disappoint. WOW. I really don't know whether to be horrified or laugh, because some of it is pretty damn hilarious. I honestly think there is a very good chance Louis could be gay. I know it's bad to stereotype, but that kid's mannerism just screams GAY. I watched a video of him talking about his parents' divorce and I'm like there is no way in hell this kid is not gay. He's so effeminate! Plus I always have to LOL at how every interview with him I have read, he always has to make just a little too many references to his "girlfriend Eleanor". Like why do you have to keep mentioning it? We know Eleanor is your girlfriend*. We know you are dating* her. There is no reason to keep repeating yourself. Unless you are desperately trying to prove something.
*quotations may or may not be needed here
I don't necessarily believe he's with Harry, though. I don't know if Harry is gay. He puts me in the mind of someone who really has no sexual preference, who would be with someone because they make him happy, man or woman. I think Harry is just someone who loves people in general. He'd love you regardless of gender, race, physical appearance, etc, etc.
But these people really need to chill the fuck out. I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the kid, and I really don't want to. The whole management thing does sound like some crazy tinfoil hat conspiracy, but I also do not doubt that it is very possible for PR to pull stunts like that. And if people are forcing a young man to hide his sexuality, this is just beyond cruel. It is heart-breaking. No one should ever have to hide his or her sexuality. If I found out my son was being forced to hide his sexuality for PR, I would hunt down Simon Cowell and shoot him.
But maybe it just simply is he is gay and hasn't accepted it. The kid is almost 21 years old . That does not mean he is completely sure of his sexuality. I'm almost 29 years old and I still have no concept of my sexuality, whether I am straight or bisexual, although I am fine with whatever it ends up being. Maybe he can't, or is not ready to accept it. But the way some Larry fans are acting, it's not going to help. You can't demand for someone to come out of the closet if he or she is not ready to do so. Knowing that fans will still support you can help, although will they support him if he is NOT dating Harry? And sure, it may help a fan who is having trouble accepting his or her own homosexuality. But it doesn't mean he still will be willing to accept that it is who he is. Or maybe there are people in his family who aren't okay with gay people. Who knows? We don't.
This is all hypothetically speaking, of course. I am in no way saying he definitely is. I don't need psycho fans or the princess himself coming after me.
I won't lie- I do look forward to hearing more on this. And the term "beard" makes me giggle.
I went to the Cheesecake Factory on Saturday and after an hour plus wait, we were finally seated. And I discovered my favorite meal, the ginormous grilled cheese, is not on the menu anymore. I was still able to get it, but I am so tired of every meal I like being taken off of the menu at restaurants. And grilled cheese is pretty much the simplest meal in history, so why get rid of it? I've had their pulled pork sandwich before and enjoyed it, but it would have been overwhelming at eight at night. I had their pumpkin cheesecake for the first time and oh my god, was it good.
And speaking of pumpkin, I need a pumpkin pie Blizzard fix soon.
ETA 10/17: Another BI went up yesterday. Why people are questioning this one as a different one makes no sense, when it clearly is a continuation of the first one.
Oh lord....if this happens, Tumblr, and Larry fans, will fucking EXPLODE.
ETA 10/23: Oh mama.
LOL AWWWW. Wuv. Twue wuv. If I didn't know who these two were, just two random guys taking a picture at what looks like an airport, I'd definitely think they were a couple.
And this: 1D's Louis Tomlinson hosts charity football, looks great in uniform
Cheesus, him in that uniform....damn. I would. I so would. And I would hate myself every second of it. And great. Now I am all riled up and thinking of this picture as well.
ETA 11/11: Odd. That last blind item disappeared. After Bieber and Selena broke up. So I guess that one was probably about them?
There is not much I do not feel guilty over- if I respond to someone in a way I did not feel was polite, if I don't say the right thing, if something bad happens, even if it is well out of my control, etc. Back in 2005, when I worked in a billing office, there was a doctor's office on the floor below and one day a man came in wanting to know if the office was open, and he starts telling me how his wife was just diagnosed with cancer and I don't remember what I said to him and while I don't recall being rude, I don't think I was sympathetic. More I was just shocked that this complete stranger was sharing with me, another complete stranger, of his wife's illness. But I still feel guilty that I was not more sympathetic to him.
I blame myself for pretty much everything that has went wrong in my life, including developing mental illness. Which for someone who is adamant about not having mental illness portrayed in a negative light anymore, it is a piss poor attitude towards it. I want for society to stop blaming mentally ill people for their illnesses, that it is as much of a real disease as cancer, yet I blame myself for my illness. Illnesses. Whatever.
I read an article over on Cracked about movie stereotypes and one was about disabilities in movies. How death seems to be preferred over being disabled. And that disabled people got all butt-hurt over it. Not that it takes much to butt-hurt people nowadays, especially some disabled people. I remember I read a blog a few years ago by a disabled woman and man, did she bitch a lot. But that isn't important. Look, maybe some people can overcome their disability and all that, but some just can't. I've already made it clear to most people in my life that should a time ever come in my life where I am faced with multiple limb amputation or death, do me the favor of death. I'll be damned to spend a life like that. And huzzah for you if you can do it. I can't. And frankly, a person's choice of wanting death over disability does not affect another disabled person's life.
I read Blind Gossip on a daily basis, mostly for the fun of it, because blind items are always to be taken with a grain of salt. But as soon as I saw this one today, I knew a big storm would be coming. Because Louis was the first person I thought of. And sure enough, the storm of Larry fans did not disappoint. WOW. I really don't know whether to be horrified or laugh, because some of it is pretty damn hilarious. I honestly think there is a very good chance Louis could be gay. I know it's bad to stereotype, but that kid's mannerism just screams GAY. I watched a video of him talking about his parents' divorce and I'm like there is no way in hell this kid is not gay. He's so effeminate! Plus I always have to LOL at how every interview with him I have read, he always has to make just a little too many references to his "girlfriend Eleanor". Like why do you have to keep mentioning it? We know Eleanor is your girlfriend*. We know you are dating* her. There is no reason to keep repeating yourself. Unless you are desperately trying to prove something.
*quotations may or may not be needed here
I don't necessarily believe he's with Harry, though. I don't know if Harry is gay. He puts me in the mind of someone who really has no sexual preference, who would be with someone because they make him happy, man or woman. I think Harry is just someone who loves people in general. He'd love you regardless of gender, race, physical appearance, etc, etc.
But these people really need to chill the fuck out. I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the kid, and I really don't want to. The whole management thing does sound like some crazy tinfoil hat conspiracy, but I also do not doubt that it is very possible for PR to pull stunts like that. And if people are forcing a young man to hide his sexuality, this is just beyond cruel. It is heart-breaking. No one should ever have to hide his or her sexuality. If I found out my son was being forced to hide his sexuality for PR, I would hunt down Simon Cowell and shoot him.
But maybe it just simply is he is gay and hasn't accepted it. The kid is almost 21 years old . That does not mean he is completely sure of his sexuality. I'm almost 29 years old and I still have no concept of my sexuality, whether I am straight or bisexual, although I am fine with whatever it ends up being. Maybe he can't, or is not ready to accept it. But the way some Larry fans are acting, it's not going to help. You can't demand for someone to come out of the closet if he or she is not ready to do so. Knowing that fans will still support you can help, although will they support him if he is NOT dating Harry? And sure, it may help a fan who is having trouble accepting his or her own homosexuality. But it doesn't mean he still will be willing to accept that it is who he is. Or maybe there are people in his family who aren't okay with gay people. Who knows? We don't.
This is all hypothetically speaking, of course. I am in no way saying he definitely is. I don't need psycho fans or the princess himself coming after me.
I won't lie- I do look forward to hearing more on this. And the term "beard" makes me giggle.
I went to the Cheesecake Factory on Saturday and after an hour plus wait, we were finally seated. And I discovered my favorite meal, the ginormous grilled cheese, is not on the menu anymore. I was still able to get it, but I am so tired of every meal I like being taken off of the menu at restaurants. And grilled cheese is pretty much the simplest meal in history, so why get rid of it? I've had their pulled pork sandwich before and enjoyed it, but it would have been overwhelming at eight at night. I had their pumpkin cheesecake for the first time and oh my god, was it good.
And speaking of pumpkin, I need a pumpkin pie Blizzard fix soon.
ETA 10/17: Another BI went up yesterday. Why people are questioning this one as a different one makes no sense, when it clearly is a continuation of the first one.
Oh lord....if this happens, Tumblr, and Larry fans, will fucking EXPLODE.
ETA 10/23: Oh mama.
LOL AWWWW. Wuv. Twue wuv. If I didn't know who these two were, just two random guys taking a picture at what looks like an airport, I'd definitely think they were a couple.
And this: 1D's Louis Tomlinson hosts charity football, looks great in uniform
Cheesus, him in that uniform....damn. I would. I so would. And I would hate myself every second of it. And great. Now I am all riled up and thinking of this picture as well.
ETA 11/11: Odd. That last blind item disappeared. After Bieber and Selena broke up. So I guess that one was probably about them?
Sunday, October 14, 2012
Random Thoughts
I've been fine all night and just out of nowhere I got really freaking cranky. Hormones probably, but this also tends to happen even when I am not on my period.
One reason I think I may be cranky is because I am fed up with being completely incapable of making the simplest decisions. One of my cousins is having a christening party for her brat and I don't know if I feel like going. I am really not in the mood to be around my father's side of the family. I know it will be just like every other party, and I will spend the entire time wishing I didn't waste my time coming. But then I will feel bad if I don't go. But I really don't want to. And I'm sitting here getting myself so stressed out about making the decision whether to go or not that I am putting myself in an even worse mood than I already was in.
I have been contemplating whether or not to delete any of my former coworkers off of my Facebook page. Why should I bother keeping them? Not one of them ever bothers with me. And then it always ends up being my fault. I was the one that didn't keep in touch. I love how the phone works both ways, but apparently it is only to work from my end. And even after being asked several times if my sister was having a baby (back before she got pregnant), not one of them even told me to tell her congratulations when I finally announced it on Facebook. Whatever. I am so fucking done with people. I'm so fucking done with a lot of shit. It's sickening how much I wish I would get the guts to go buy a gun and blow my brains out right now.
I should probably just go to bed before I start getting nasty.
One reason I think I may be cranky is because I am fed up with being completely incapable of making the simplest decisions. One of my cousins is having a christening party for her brat and I don't know if I feel like going. I am really not in the mood to be around my father's side of the family. I know it will be just like every other party, and I will spend the entire time wishing I didn't waste my time coming. But then I will feel bad if I don't go. But I really don't want to. And I'm sitting here getting myself so stressed out about making the decision whether to go or not that I am putting myself in an even worse mood than I already was in.
I have been contemplating whether or not to delete any of my former coworkers off of my Facebook page. Why should I bother keeping them? Not one of them ever bothers with me. And then it always ends up being my fault. I was the one that didn't keep in touch. I love how the phone works both ways, but apparently it is only to work from my end. And even after being asked several times if my sister was having a baby (back before she got pregnant), not one of them even told me to tell her congratulations when I finally announced it on Facebook. Whatever. I am so fucking done with people. I'm so fucking done with a lot of shit. It's sickening how much I wish I would get the guts to go buy a gun and blow my brains out right now.
I should probably just go to bed before I start getting nasty.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
The Moronic Comments Of The Day
This Jamie fool is not even worth scribbling out the name of:
And here is another comment by this idiot, and another idiot:
Obama has been in office for almost 4 years. Are we a commie country yet, Jamie? And you think someone will kill him, Jim, or you hope someone will kill him? Wishing for a president to be assassinated is NOT COOL. No matter the affiliation.
Morons. Morons everywhere.
And here is another comment by this idiot, and another idiot:
Obama has been in office for almost 4 years. Are we a commie country yet, Jamie? And you think someone will kill him, Jim, or you hope someone will kill him? Wishing for a president to be assassinated is NOT COOL. No matter the affiliation.
Morons. Morons everywhere.
Friday, October 12, 2012
The WTF Of The Day
I don't know if it is because I have a bad case of the giggles right now or what, but I was over on Accuweather and I couldn't pass up sharing this:
Normally when the orange triangle with the exclamation is at the bottom, it's giving some type of warning of rain or thunderstorms or high temperatures or something. Many times during my tracking of the weather for Musikfest, it kept reminding me in big letters of a "75%+ chance of thunderstorms". I have never seen it used for nice weather.
I don't know. It tickled my funny bone. I laughed at it.
Normally when the orange triangle with the exclamation is at the bottom, it's giving some type of warning of rain or thunderstorms or high temperatures or something. Many times during my tracking of the weather for Musikfest, it kept reminding me in big letters of a "75%+ chance of thunderstorms". I have never seen it used for nice weather.
I don't know. It tickled my funny bone. I laughed at it.
Random Thoughts
I seem to have not been bitten by the political bug this presidential election. I just can't with politics right now. My mind has more important things to concentrate on, like still trying to convince me that there is something wrong with me and that I am worthless piece of shit. I'm voting, of course, but my heart isn't in it this year. Plus, I am just sick of all of the bullshit. God, I know I am a nasty person, but politics are brutal. Why does everyone have to be so hateful? I'm sick of the commercials, I'm sick of the asinine opinions in the newspapers, I'm sick of hearing Republicans bash Democrats for doing things and they do the same exact shit, I'm sick of Democrats acting just as bad as Republicans....I could go on forever.
Oh, and I am sick of hearing about that student- WHO IS NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE- who apparently was "bullied" for wearing a Romney shirt to school. First off, no matter what your political affiliation is, you are going to risk facing criticism if you wear anything displaying your political affiliation. Politics are too insane nowadays. I live in a fairly liberal town, but I don't bother with displaying my political affiliation. Too many nuts in the world.
What aggravates me the most about the case- besides the fact that this girl isn't even old enough to vote- are all of the Republicans running to her defense and crying freedom of speech and blah blah blah when we all know DAMN WELL if this was a student wearing an Obama shirt and was "bullied" by a teacher who votes Republican, then they would be defending the teacher and crying freedom of speech. And don't tell me it would never happen. Republican teachers exist. I'm tired of the Republicans who slam education as a liberal mind-washing institution. College especially. I never had any kind of political beliefs thrown at me in school. Ever. But no matter what the situation was, eg Repub teacher vs. Dem student or Dem teacher vs. Repub student, some side is going to whine. The whole case is just ridiculous.
And coming across stuff like this only aggravates me more. I swear, some people should just drop dead. And the tweet by Cody Davis makes me the angriest. Why? "Just sayin". Shut the fuck up. I'm so sick of people adding that to the end of asinine statements, as well as "I'm not racist, but". Shut the fuck up. Yes, you are. Stop being an asshole and just admit you are.
I am far from ready for this cold weather. My aunt's workplace always has some kind of event every October and we went on Sunday and it was so cold and miserable. I ate at a Red Robin for the first time and it was pretty damn good. Our waitress sucked, though. And Friday and Saturday are supposed to be really chilly, and I think the first frost is supposed to pop up on Saturday morning. I hate the cold so much. I have a robe and long sleeves on and I am freezing. Of course, my period just came on and I always am a lot colder around that time. Just in time for the really cold weather! And then Sunday it will be in the seventies!
Oh, and I am sick of hearing about that student- WHO IS NOT EVEN OLD ENOUGH TO VOTE- who apparently was "bullied" for wearing a Romney shirt to school. First off, no matter what your political affiliation is, you are going to risk facing criticism if you wear anything displaying your political affiliation. Politics are too insane nowadays. I live in a fairly liberal town, but I don't bother with displaying my political affiliation. Too many nuts in the world.
What aggravates me the most about the case- besides the fact that this girl isn't even old enough to vote- are all of the Republicans running to her defense and crying freedom of speech and blah blah blah when we all know DAMN WELL if this was a student wearing an Obama shirt and was "bullied" by a teacher who votes Republican, then they would be defending the teacher and crying freedom of speech. And don't tell me it would never happen. Republican teachers exist. I'm tired of the Republicans who slam education as a liberal mind-washing institution. College especially. I never had any kind of political beliefs thrown at me in school. Ever. But no matter what the situation was, eg Repub teacher vs. Dem student or Dem teacher vs. Repub student, some side is going to whine. The whole case is just ridiculous.
And coming across stuff like this only aggravates me more. I swear, some people should just drop dead. And the tweet by Cody Davis makes me the angriest. Why? "Just sayin". Shut the fuck up. I'm so sick of people adding that to the end of asinine statements, as well as "I'm not racist, but". Shut the fuck up. Yes, you are. Stop being an asshole and just admit you are.
I am far from ready for this cold weather. My aunt's workplace always has some kind of event every October and we went on Sunday and it was so cold and miserable. I ate at a Red Robin for the first time and it was pretty damn good. Our waitress sucked, though. And Friday and Saturday are supposed to be really chilly, and I think the first frost is supposed to pop up on Saturday morning. I hate the cold so much. I have a robe and long sleeves on and I am freezing. Of course, my period just came on and I always am a lot colder around that time. Just in time for the really cold weather! And then Sunday it will be in the seventies!
Thursday, October 11, 2012
The WTF Of The Day
Dear Abby: Teenage sons' group showers puzzle their dad
I laughed. Hard. This is one of the funniest Dear Abbys I have read in a long time. It's rare for many American males, particularly teenagers, to behave like that around each other. Could they be gay? Possibly. But what are the chances of two sons being gay? Or maybe, just maybe, they are just comfortable around each other. Who knows?
Strangely enough, the first thing I thought of reading this was the 1D boys. I could see them doing stuff like this. Ugh. I'm telling you....once you get sucked in, there is no turning back.
I laughed. Hard. This is one of the funniest Dear Abbys I have read in a long time. It's rare for many American males, particularly teenagers, to behave like that around each other. Could they be gay? Possibly. But what are the chances of two sons being gay? Or maybe, just maybe, they are just comfortable around each other. Who knows?
Strangely enough, the first thing I thought of reading this was the 1D boys. I could see them doing stuff like this. Ugh. I'm telling you....once you get sucked in, there is no turning back.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
The Moronic Comment Of The Day
Oh, agb1953, you are adorable. Sue is wrong, no doubt about it, but your response is an even bigger joke. Go back to the cave you crawled out of, Neanderthal. And go fuck yourself; I'm sure with that attitude, you are a pro at it.
The WTF/Disturbing Post Of The Day
Tumblr
What in the hell is that? Is Harry PREGNANT? How....how is that even possible? And why isn't Louis the baby mama? No. The idea of a pregnant hormonal Louis is frightening. I can see it now- Louis with one of his many beanie hats on and a maternity shirt- horizontally striped, of course- covering a big belly. And suspenders. We can't forget the suspenders. "Harry! Harry! HARRY?! Why don't you tell me I am pretty? I'm pretty, aren't I? You don't think I'm pretty! You hate me! You hate me and you hate our baby! This is bullshit!" "Yes, Louis, of course I think you are gorgeous!" "You are just saying it to be nice! Look at me! I'm hideous! I'm a big fat cow! Don't look at me!". I don't even want to imagine the birth scene*.
*We'll just ignore the whole "he has a penis and not a vagina therefore it would be completely impossible for him to give birth" thing. Dear God, that would be a beautiful child. Harry is so stinking adorable and while Louis may be an ass, he is freaking beautiful. He really is. I mean, not Andrew VanWyngarden beautiful. That is just a whole other level of beauty. There is no comparison. Every time I watch this video, I want to fall on my knees and weep at Andrew's beauty. But Louis...damn. Just look at him. Look at his eyes. His eyes are gorgeous. His eyelashes are unreal. I have freaky long ass lashes, but mine aren't even that long.
Sometimes it's nice to know there are more disturbing people in the world than me.
ETA 10/12: Um....yeah:
Oh No They Didn't!
Oh god. I am dying at the royal wedding picture. I was about to ask why Liam is the Maid Of Honor and not Princess Louis, but then I realized that the picture was probably made by a Larry stan; therefore, Harry is more than likely marrying the latter.
What in the hell is that? Is Harry PREGNANT? How....how is that even possible? And why isn't Louis the baby mama? No. The idea of a pregnant hormonal Louis is frightening. I can see it now- Louis with one of his many beanie hats on and a maternity shirt- horizontally striped, of course- covering a big belly. And suspenders. We can't forget the suspenders. "Harry! Harry! HARRY?! Why don't you tell me I am pretty? I'm pretty, aren't I? You don't think I'm pretty! You hate me! You hate me and you hate our baby! This is bullshit!" "Yes, Louis, of course I think you are gorgeous!" "You are just saying it to be nice! Look at me! I'm hideous! I'm a big fat cow! Don't look at me!". I don't even want to imagine the birth scene*.
*We'll just ignore the whole "he has a penis and not a vagina therefore it would be completely impossible for him to give birth" thing. Dear God, that would be a beautiful child. Harry is so stinking adorable and while Louis may be an ass, he is freaking beautiful. He really is. I mean, not Andrew VanWyngarden beautiful. That is just a whole other level of beauty. There is no comparison. Every time I watch this video, I want to fall on my knees and weep at Andrew's beauty. But Louis...damn. Just look at him. Look at his eyes. His eyes are gorgeous. His eyelashes are unreal. I have freaky long ass lashes, but mine aren't even that long.
Sometimes it's nice to know there are more disturbing people in the world than me.
ETA 10/12: Um....yeah:
Oh No They Didn't!
Oh god. I am dying at the royal wedding picture. I was about to ask why Liam is the Maid Of Honor and not Princess Louis, but then I realized that the picture was probably made by a Larry stan; therefore, Harry is more than likely marrying the latter.
Monday, October 8, 2012
NOW WHAT?!
My sound is all fucked up again. It has been working fine since I did the system restore. Then yesterday, I hear it starting to slow down and get distorted again. Oh, and it takes forever to get to the log-screen at start-up. And do you know what I think it is? There is some kind of enormous conflict between my firewall and one of the Windows updates for Microsoft .NET. I have a huge list of failed installations for it. And it all started right before my sound went bad.
I wish I would have thought to do a little more research when I did the system restore before to see if that is what causing it, although I suspect it was. I could undo the system restore, but it takes so damn long to do and undo system restores.
ETA 10/9: I tried everything to get those files to install properly. I turned off my firewall and went back to the Windows one when downloading and installing those .NET files. Still nothing. I contemplated going ahead with the system restore, but I could not uninstall my firewall, even after reinstalling it to try to get the uninstall file back. No luck. So, since I had everything I needed backed-up and was not attached to anything, I reinstalled everything again. And then I fucked up and removed the calculator and MS Paint by accident (why does Adding/Removing Windows Components have to be so complicated), so I did a quick system restore, and then I could not remove Norton Antivirus (it comes with my installation CD), so I reinstalled everything again. I made sure I got every update I needed. All updates were successful. So far, so good. NOW LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY!
System re-installations really aren't that bad, as long as you have everything backed-up. The only thing that annoys me is all of the junk I have to uninstall (Norton, Google Toolbar, Google Desktop, etc), reinstalling all of the programs I need, and getting all of my iTunes music and playlists back in. I have Pod+Rescue, but I think I may invest in a thumb drive that can hold all of my music. I am sure I could get a large enough one for a fairly good price nowadays.
ETA 10/13: I am afraid I will jinx myself saying this, but....so far, still good with the sound.
I did buy a new thumb drive. Got a 16GB for under $10 at Staples. I fit all of my iTunes music and still have about half the drive empty. This will be helpful when I am forced to finally switch to whatever the current version of Windows is. I will not be happy when that day comes. The day I am forced to leave XP, my shrill banshee shriek will be heard worldwide. And then I will have a meltdown not unlike the Gamefly commercials.
I wish I would have thought to do a little more research when I did the system restore before to see if that is what causing it, although I suspect it was. I could undo the system restore, but it takes so damn long to do and undo system restores.
ETA 10/9: I tried everything to get those files to install properly. I turned off my firewall and went back to the Windows one when downloading and installing those .NET files. Still nothing. I contemplated going ahead with the system restore, but I could not uninstall my firewall, even after reinstalling it to try to get the uninstall file back. No luck. So, since I had everything I needed backed-up and was not attached to anything, I reinstalled everything again. And then I fucked up and removed the calculator and MS Paint by accident (why does Adding/Removing Windows Components have to be so complicated), so I did a quick system restore, and then I could not remove Norton Antivirus (it comes with my installation CD), so I reinstalled everything again. I made sure I got every update I needed. All updates were successful. So far, so good. NOW LET'S KEEP IT THAT WAY!
System re-installations really aren't that bad, as long as you have everything backed-up. The only thing that annoys me is all of the junk I have to uninstall (Norton, Google Toolbar, Google Desktop, etc), reinstalling all of the programs I need, and getting all of my iTunes music and playlists back in. I have Pod+Rescue, but I think I may invest in a thumb drive that can hold all of my music. I am sure I could get a large enough one for a fairly good price nowadays.
ETA 10/13: I am afraid I will jinx myself saying this, but....so far, still good with the sound.
I did buy a new thumb drive. Got a 16GB for under $10 at Staples. I fit all of my iTunes music and still have about half the drive empty. This will be helpful when I am forced to finally switch to whatever the current version of Windows is. I will not be happy when that day comes. The day I am forced to leave XP, my shrill banshee shriek will be heard worldwide. And then I will have a meltdown not unlike the Gamefly commercials.
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Random Thoughts
So far still good. I am still disappointed in losing those 11 files. I did get about 7 of them back, but I can't remember what the addresses were of the rest. I've had to reinstall a few programs. I'm still very highly agitated with my computer, though. If I wasn't such an internet addict, I'd be giving it the silent treatment. And I am angry at myself for being too lazy to back-up those files. I'm always good about that. And it had to happen right after my weekly online back-up.
And due to being so stressed, as well as hormones, I have immense heartburn. I feel like if I were to lay down on my stomach, my esophagus would burn right through my chest. I feel like I have a lump in the back of my throat, pain in my back, my mouth tastes really bitter, and I feel violently hungry. Like I could eat an entire buffet. I went to Maggiano's for dinner on Thursday and that certainly did not help. Enjoyed my dinner, though. Their eggplant parm and spaghetti are awesome. Plus, you get a second meal to take home. All for $12.95. And I had my first pumpkin pie Blizzard of the month. I was quite pleased that day.
My mother and I ran to the mall earlier and I decided to stop in FYE and I ended up buying both of MGMT's CDs, Oracular Spectacular for $6.99 (it was used) and Congratulations for $9.99. So now I finally own them. Too bad Congratulations wasn't used. They were running a buy one used, get the second half off. And don't get me wrong, I am glad to finally own them, but I suffering from major buyer's remorse. I generally always do when it comes to buying anything. It's annoying.
My mother was singing along with "The Youth" and "Electric Feel" in the car. And the keyboard part in "Time To Pretend". She loves that part. I think I have created a fan.
And speaking of them:
So then none of those pages I have liked are really them. They seemed kind of legitimate, but I never really was sure. Didn't realize they'd be so unhappy about it. Or whoever really wrote the status. Whoops. Guess I should go unlike the ones on my list. But I'm too lazy.
I always imagined MGMT's fan base would be more mature than a lot of other fan bases, but damn, some of their fans are almost as bad as Bieber's and One Direction's. Of course, I realized all of this after Musikfest, when people were losing their shit over them not playing "Kids", and people losing their shit over the people losing their shit over them not playing "Kids". And oh, what a surprise! The pattern still continues to indicate that the ones that suck are all the same ages as the nutcases in the latter two. Well, the horrible MGMT fans don't attack the band like the latter two, although I have heard of people dissing Ben, but haven't ever saw it with my own eyes. Mostly just each other. There are times that I'd like to make remarks to other fans, particularly about not acting so stupid. And the ones that claim Andrew is their soul mate. Yeah. In your dreams, girls. He wouldn't marry someone like you. But that's a whole other story. I understand people's points about getting gorgeous people when you are famous, but I look at it like this- if these people wouldn't give you the time of day if you were not famous, they are not worth your time.
Not that attacking the band is any better. Attacking the band still makes no sense to me.
And I might be a little biased in this saying, but I don't understand making fun of the 1D boys. Make fun of their music, sure, but other than that, they are harmless. Well, except for Louis. I laugh when people make fun of him (well, outside of the gay jokes, although they can be pretty funny sometimes). He is not "sassy". He's a little bitch. I want to grab a hold of his suspenders and then let go of them and allow them to slap against his body. He's the kind of guy I'd like to bitch slap around and then have hate sex with*. But the rest of them are okay. They don't seem to be cocky. And I watched a video one time of Harry crying over some of the things people say about him and while a part of me wants to say "sorry honey that is what comes with fame", now I feel like I am kicking kittens if I make a joke about him. How can you make fun of that face? It's nice to hear someone actually be honest about how negative comments affect them, instead of being like most "badass" celebrities with their "fuck the haters" and the like, when we all know it really does bother them. Please. Celebrities are incredibly insecure.
*followed by serious regret in the morning
And due to being so stressed, as well as hormones, I have immense heartburn. I feel like if I were to lay down on my stomach, my esophagus would burn right through my chest. I feel like I have a lump in the back of my throat, pain in my back, my mouth tastes really bitter, and I feel violently hungry. Like I could eat an entire buffet. I went to Maggiano's for dinner on Thursday and that certainly did not help. Enjoyed my dinner, though. Their eggplant parm and spaghetti are awesome. Plus, you get a second meal to take home. All for $12.95. And I had my first pumpkin pie Blizzard of the month. I was quite pleased that day.
My mother and I ran to the mall earlier and I decided to stop in FYE and I ended up buying both of MGMT's CDs, Oracular Spectacular for $6.99 (it was used) and Congratulations for $9.99. So now I finally own them. Too bad Congratulations wasn't used. They were running a buy one used, get the second half off. And don't get me wrong, I am glad to finally own them, but I suffering from major buyer's remorse. I generally always do when it comes to buying anything. It's annoying.
My mother was singing along with "The Youth" and "Electric Feel" in the car. And the keyboard part in "Time To Pretend". She loves that part. I think I have created a fan.
And speaking of them:
So then none of those pages I have liked are really them. They seemed kind of legitimate, but I never really was sure. Didn't realize they'd be so unhappy about it. Or whoever really wrote the status. Whoops. Guess I should go unlike the ones on my list. But I'm too lazy.
I always imagined MGMT's fan base would be more mature than a lot of other fan bases, but damn, some of their fans are almost as bad as Bieber's and One Direction's. Of course, I realized all of this after Musikfest, when people were losing their shit over them not playing "Kids", and people losing their shit over the people losing their shit over them not playing "Kids". And oh, what a surprise! The pattern still continues to indicate that the ones that suck are all the same ages as the nutcases in the latter two. Well, the horrible MGMT fans don't attack the band like the latter two, although I have heard of people dissing Ben, but haven't ever saw it with my own eyes. Mostly just each other. There are times that I'd like to make remarks to other fans, particularly about not acting so stupid. And the ones that claim Andrew is their soul mate. Yeah. In your dreams, girls. He wouldn't marry someone like you. But that's a whole other story. I understand people's points about getting gorgeous people when you are famous, but I look at it like this- if these people wouldn't give you the time of day if you were not famous, they are not worth your time.
Not that attacking the band is any better. Attacking the band still makes no sense to me.
And I might be a little biased in this saying, but I don't understand making fun of the 1D boys. Make fun of their music, sure, but other than that, they are harmless. Well, except for Louis. I laugh when people make fun of him (well, outside of the gay jokes, although they can be pretty funny sometimes). He is not "sassy". He's a little bitch. I want to grab a hold of his suspenders and then let go of them and allow them to slap against his body. He's the kind of guy I'd like to bitch slap around and then have hate sex with*. But the rest of them are okay. They don't seem to be cocky. And I watched a video one time of Harry crying over some of the things people say about him and while a part of me wants to say "sorry honey that is what comes with fame", now I feel like I am kicking kittens if I make a joke about him. How can you make fun of that face? It's nice to hear someone actually be honest about how negative comments affect them, instead of being like most "badass" celebrities with their "fuck the haters" and the like, when we all know it really does bother them. Please. Celebrities are incredibly insecure.
*followed by serious regret in the morning
Friday, October 5, 2012
ARGH!
I hate computers so much right now. A little run down of all of the shit I have encountered since Wednesday, including completely unnecessary details:
- doze off on my bed during the Simpsons
- get up and go on computer
- computer freezes, can't get anywhere, so I am forced to do a cold boot
- Windows screen comes up, then blue screens with a boot volume error
- can't get into safe mode or any other screen
- cry multiple times for 15 minutes
- finally get into a screen where I can reinstall the entire OS
- reinstalled all of my usual files (and got back 7 or 8 of those lost files), Windows updates, and pulled all the songs off of my iPod, took me from 9:00PM until 4:00AM
- discovered I may have not had to reinstall entire OS, thus losing 11 technically unimportant files that I was too lazy to backup for no reason, although I am normally one to be on the ball with that
- discover I am missing the install CD for my printer
- anitvirus updates, slows down my computer completely (and I can say with complete confidence that I have never, EVER had a problem with Avira, so I don't know what went wrong)
- discover my firewall is fucking with IE, even though I allowed it access
- shut down firewall temporarily, go back to Windows firewall, IE works again
- go to listen to music, sound card is messed up
- do a system restore
- firewall is back, try to uninstall it, cannot uninstall
- say fuck it I'll deal with it when I wake up and go to bed, only to find the 114 updates that were previously installed need to be reinstalled again
Right now, everything seems to be okay. I am a little unsettled with my firewall not wanting to uninstall. I'm wondering if it is actually functioning properly. I kind of want to uninstall and reinstall it, but I am afraid of fucking things up again.
- doze off on my bed during the Simpsons
- get up and go on computer
- computer freezes, can't get anywhere, so I am forced to do a cold boot
- Windows screen comes up, then blue screens with a boot volume error
- can't get into safe mode or any other screen
- cry multiple times for 15 minutes
- finally get into a screen where I can reinstall the entire OS
- reinstalled all of my usual files (and got back 7 or 8 of those lost files), Windows updates, and pulled all the songs off of my iPod, took me from 9:00PM until 4:00AM
- discovered I may have not had to reinstall entire OS, thus losing 11 technically unimportant files that I was too lazy to backup for no reason, although I am normally one to be on the ball with that
- discover I am missing the install CD for my printer
- anitvirus updates, slows down my computer completely (and I can say with complete confidence that I have never, EVER had a problem with Avira, so I don't know what went wrong)
- discover my firewall is fucking with IE, even though I allowed it access
- shut down firewall temporarily, go back to Windows firewall, IE works again
- go to listen to music, sound card is messed up
- do a system restore
- firewall is back, try to uninstall it, cannot uninstall
- say fuck it I'll deal with it when I wake up and go to bed, only to find the 114 updates that were previously installed need to be reinstalled again
Right now, everything seems to be okay. I am a little unsettled with my firewall not wanting to uninstall. I'm wondering if it is actually functioning properly. I kind of want to uninstall and reinstall it, but I am afraid of fucking things up again.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
FML
I got a blue screen of death earlier. An unmountable boot volume error. I could not get anywhere into my computer, but finally I got into a screen where I could reinstall Windows. Of course, now I am finding out I might not have had to do that. I want to cry so bad.
ETA 2:01PM: I was up until 4:00AM installing most of what I needed on my computer, so needless to say, I am a little cranky. But now I cannot find the CD to install my printer. I have never wanted to punch something as much as I do right now.
ETA 2:01PM: I was up until 4:00AM installing most of what I needed on my computer, so needless to say, I am a little cranky. But now I cannot find the CD to install my printer. I have never wanted to punch something as much as I do right now.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Random Thoughts
I did end up finishing Mean Season not long after I wrote my last post. I'm still fuming, though. I can't believe that it ended like that. It was such an unnecessary thing to happen. Now I am attempting to read Spooning, which certainly is not dark and depressing. I don't know how far I will get. I mean, I can deal with fluff, but this book is kind of taking it far. Good grief.
I have been so irritable lately, I could scream. Hormones probably. My sister isn't even half as nuts as I am and she is completely bonkers since she got pregnant. I could only imagine what I'd be like if I was pregnant. I'd probably be in some state facility. Sometimes I wonder if completely losing your mind is better than being somewhere in the middle of sane and insane.
I went to dinner on Saturday with my parents. We went to Friday's. And as usual, every trip to Friday's is not complete without my father bitching about something, usually their fries. I don't even know why he suggests ever going to Friday's because all he ever does is complain about everything. This is wrong, that is wrong, the fries are too seasoned I hate seasoning why do they have to season them, blah blah blah. Now I am a little biased because I love my fries with large amounts of seasoning, but come on, their fries aren't even that seasoned! And he gets so hostile with the wait staff sometimes, here and other places. It's embarrassing. And sometimes my mom is just as bad. Complaining about this changing or that changing. Okay, I was annoyed that the 2 for $10 menu changed as well, but it's a limited time offer. I knew it would happen eventually.
I hate with a passion when I see my parents do annoying things and then realize I do it myself. I just want to scream. I am no picnic to be around, but my family is toxic. When I say I wish I could go away for a really long time ago, I mean it with every bit of my heart. I am never going to get better unless I physically remove myself from my environment.
Of course, most days I'd rather just end it all. Most times it just seems like the most logical action to take. It's disturbing how much I think about suicide in a day. And I hate sounding so narcissistic, but I wish one time, just one damn time, someone could show a genuine interest in my life.
ETA 2:15PM: Yeah. Spooning is out. I can't. I am pretty sure I lost a large amount of brain cells from the 26 pages I read.
I also finally took my name off of the Obama voting campaign mailing list. It was starting to get a little ridiculous with the amount of emails I was getting a day. And then when I got the email from Beyonce....please. Like she'd really take time out of her busy dance and music stealing schedule to personally email Obama voters. Hahahahahaha!
I have been so irritable lately, I could scream. Hormones probably. My sister isn't even half as nuts as I am and she is completely bonkers since she got pregnant. I could only imagine what I'd be like if I was pregnant. I'd probably be in some state facility. Sometimes I wonder if completely losing your mind is better than being somewhere in the middle of sane and insane.
I went to dinner on Saturday with my parents. We went to Friday's. And as usual, every trip to Friday's is not complete without my father bitching about something, usually their fries. I don't even know why he suggests ever going to Friday's because all he ever does is complain about everything. This is wrong, that is wrong, the fries are too seasoned I hate seasoning why do they have to season them, blah blah blah. Now I am a little biased because I love my fries with large amounts of seasoning, but come on, their fries aren't even that seasoned! And he gets so hostile with the wait staff sometimes, here and other places. It's embarrassing. And sometimes my mom is just as bad. Complaining about this changing or that changing. Okay, I was annoyed that the 2 for $10 menu changed as well, but it's a limited time offer. I knew it would happen eventually.
I hate with a passion when I see my parents do annoying things and then realize I do it myself. I just want to scream. I am no picnic to be around, but my family is toxic. When I say I wish I could go away for a really long time ago, I mean it with every bit of my heart. I am never going to get better unless I physically remove myself from my environment.
Of course, most days I'd rather just end it all. Most times it just seems like the most logical action to take. It's disturbing how much I think about suicide in a day. And I hate sounding so narcissistic, but I wish one time, just one damn time, someone could show a genuine interest in my life.
ETA 2:15PM: Yeah. Spooning is out. I can't. I am pretty sure I lost a large amount of brain cells from the 26 pages I read.
I also finally took my name off of the Obama voting campaign mailing list. It was starting to get a little ridiculous with the amount of emails I was getting a day. And then when I got the email from Beyonce....please. Like she'd really take time out of her busy dance and music stealing schedule to personally email Obama voters. Hahahahahaha!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Again With The Bad Book
So I finished Towelhead on Sunday and all I can say is what the fuck did I read? After reading such a dark disturbing book like that, I hoped that the next book I read would be better. It's not. I am reading Mean Season by Heather Cochran. It took a little bit to get into it, but eventually I started to really enjoy it. Only to get to chapter 19, where someone important dies. I almost tossed the book across the room when I got to that part. And I think the thing that pisses me off the most is the author couldn't just come out and say that he died. It was this long dramatic thought of the main character thinking about coming into the hospital pregnant vs. any other situation. I can't believe this character was killed. I'm so angry! It has me so angry I don't even want to finish the book. I'd rather take a match and light it on fire.
Monday, October 1, 2012
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