EEEEEK

Four more days until I get my booster shot. I've heard that the second one can be a lot more brutal, so I'm prepping myself for possibly feeling like crap. At least I'll have the weekend to ride it out. 

That is, if the stupid weather cooperates, since there's talk of snow from Wednesday through Friday. For the love of God, this past couple of weeks has been brutal. I don't mind shoveling, and I consider myself to be relatively in good shape, but there's only so much shoveling a 5'3, 120 some pound girl can take. Especially when it's not light fluffy snow, but that heavy wet snow. I spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon shoveling, and I could barely move the rest of the night from being so stiff and sore. My back is no longer in the greatest of shape and all of this shoveling isn't helping by any means. 

But I'm going off topic here. NO MORE SNOW THIS WEEK! I want my second shot!

Random Thoughts

The heat sensitivity seems to have settled down some. Still hurts to chew on that side though. And I've tried (multiple times) sticking a swab over each tooth and biting down and of course that never elicits any pain, so I can't even figure out what tooth it is, although I am almost positive it's the root-canaled tooth.

I don't know if it's just the post-period miserable or what, but I have been one cranky ass bitch this past week. I certainly don't feel like I am taking Prozac anymore. Which means I probably need to up my dosage but am still too chicken (I did up it to six days a week, but that lasted two weeks).

And I'm so damn annoyed with work. I keep telling myself to be happy I have a job, but I still drive in to work every morning hoping an 18 wheeler will nail me. My coworkers just get under my skin so damn bad. And lately it's been really bad.

My FWA has had a bit of an attitude problem this week and I'm about to put my foot up her ass. And I guarantee if you asked her what is up her ass, she'd be all I haven't slept WAH the baby hasn't slept WAH. At which point I'd have to walk away because I'd want to give her a look that would make Medusa proud and ask her if she really expects any fucking sympathy from me. YOU wanted to be a mother so bad, YOU constantly go on about how much "it's so worth it", YOU feed your kid junk food all of the time....sit the fuck down.

And other things that annoy me with them are really just my petty side rearing its ugly head. Like how I always like making my favorite doctor a pot of coffee whenever he is in. But for the past week and a half the MOB has been making coffee (apparently she "lost" her travel mug so she's had to make coffee in work instead of just, oh I don't know, BUYING A NEW MUG) so I haven't gotten to make it for him. And it's really grinding my fucking gears. Also, it's pretty funny how twice we've had birthday cake since my birthday and she's eating the cake both times. AND IT'S THE SAME EXACT CAKE AS WHAT I HAD. In fact, almost every morning this past week I've seen her eating a piece of cake from my FWA's birthday cake that was in the fridge. Yeah, okay.

And I'm annoyed how my lunch half hour is no longer mine. I have Jabber Jaws take lunch the same fucking time as I do and normally if I need some peace and quiet and the weather isn't bad, I might go and sit out in my car and have lunch. Except now even that isn't a pleasant experience because not only does my manager take lunch the same time, but she'll also sit in her car. And 99% of the time she's parked next to me. And it feels incredibly awkward sitting in my car right next to her.

On another note....it's snowing out. WTF????

Random Thoughts

So luckily no tornadoes came during that last tornado watch, although we did get some rather nasty storms. This weather is nuts. Yesterday I cleaned about an inch or more of snow off of my car and drove to work in snow and this upcoming week it's going to be in the 70's. What the hell?

And these crazy warm ups that keep popping up are making me very nervous of what kind of weather spring is going to bring. Namely, what kind of severe weather.

Boy, Facebook really knows how to bring out the hateful side of people, doesn't it? My God, some of the things people on my newsfeed post, I'm like whoa, seriously?! And while I know some stupid ass delusional people, I can't believe I actually know anyone stupid and delusional enough to want to vote for Donald Trump. Really- he's trolling us all with his shit, right?

I was exercising earlier and "A Good Sadness" came on and I thought hey, Oracular Spectacular came out in 2007, Congratulations came out in 2010, and MGMT came out in 2013. A new album seems to come out every 3 years. It's time, boys! Time for some new music!

This past week, I reluctantly added another day of taking Prozac, upping my dosage to 6 days a week of 20 mg from 5 days a week of 20 mg. I hope it helps some and doesn't make me gain weight. I also hope it doesn't make me even more apathetic than it's already made me.

Another thing I have noticed since starting the medication is I have gotten even worse with discussing things on my mind. I was kind of bad with discussing problems before, but now I really tend to take everything and just shove it deep down inside of me instead of getting it off my chest.

Or maybe it's because all of a sudden I've become everyone's dumping ground for their problems. I constantly have to hear about what is ailing my mother or how horrible my sister's pregnancy is going or how bad my nephew is being. And the terrible thing is how much I feel like screaming I DON'T CARE to it all. And I feel HORRIBLE feeling that way towards my family, although to be fair it's not just isolated to them. Anytime anyone talks to me in work, or anywhere really for that matter, 90% of the time I feel like screaming I DON'T CARE.

Random Thoughts

All of that snow we had is almost completely gone. Woo hoo! That was one hell of a blizzard. Thankfully we didn't end up losing any power and I spent most of Saturday watching movies (finally got to sit down and watch Brain Candy again. God do I love that movie). I ended up spending most of that Sunday shoveling. Burned almost 500 calories in doing so. Later on my right shoulder was hurting and I started to worry that I might have tore something, but I was okay in moving it around and everything. Seems to be okay now.

There's talk of another possible storm next week. Hopefully it will stay off the coast.

I just started showing signs of ovulation the other day. More than 4 weeks after the first day of my last period. Which makes me suspect my period is going to come after 40 days again. I don't know what has knocked it out of whack, but it's starting to make me feel really anxious. And tempting thoughts of premature menopause to come back into my brain.

Saturday is my fat bitchy cousin's wedding. Of course it's going to be a beautiful day. And of course my sister and I are not invited. Supposedly because we're only second cousins, but I beg to differ. I don't like that bitch and would rather not have anything to do with her, but I still can't help feeling stung at not being invited (which is pissing me off to no end that I am allowing it to bother me so bad). I've been treated like shit by my second cousins since I was a little kid and I've never done a damn thing to those people to be treated the way I have. Nothing whatsoever. And frankly, my tolerance for being treated like a pariah by them is wearing thin. Very thin.

Random Thoughts

So this actually happened. Just stuck a yard stick out on our deck....21 inches of snow! It's cold and blustery and just all around miserable. The shore areas are getting insane flooding, some areas apparently worse than when Sandy hit.

I'm Ready! (Maybe)

So the weekend is finally almost here and it looks like I won't be doing anything, because "Winter Storm Jonas" is coming to town. And I'm in the zone expected to get anywhere from 12-18 inches. I'm ready in some sense. We have food, I have plenty of diet Coke, I have a hunk of carrot cake in the freezer. But I'm starting to feel panicky at the thought of being in and not being able to get out. I'm also starting to feel panicky at the thought of the power going out.

But on the plus side, at least it's happening when I don't have to worry about driving into work.

Random Thoughts

Man, I wish Food Factory was on right now. There is squat on on Friday nights. I briefly thought about putting a movie on- been dying to watch Brain Candy- but I just didn't have the attention span to sit through a move.

The roads weren't too hot this morning, but of course work was open normal time. I was doing okay until I came up to this one intersection. I thought I braked slow enough and far enough back, but as I started braking, my car ended up doing a 90 degree turn (when my car finally stopped my passenger side was facing the intersection). And no matter how many times I can read what to do in those situations, when it actually happens, I still immediately panicked and thought oh god what do I do oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Thank god I was the only one at the intersection, otherwise I probably would have hit someone. And of course, now that I think about it, I am starting to feel panicky and anxious that I could have almost got into an accident today.

And once I got my car righted and was waiting for the light to turn green, a Toyota SUV came up behind me. And was behind me almost the entire ride to work. Up my ass. I continued driving slow and shot them dirty looks in the rear view mirror. Then I finally get rid of them and I turn on to the road I take through an industrial park to get to my work place....and another Toyota SUV comes up behind me. And rides my ass until he finally got the opportunity to fly around me. And then the whole ride home from work, I had a minivan up my ass. A Toyota minivan. Was today "if you drive a Toyota, drive like a jackass" day or something?

I didn't dare tell my mother when I called to let her know I got to work okay about my car spinning out; she would have went absolutely ballistic on me. I could just see it now- why would you have continued to drive to work after that? Why didn't you come home instead? No place is worth your life, especially that place! Good god, I would have gotten the guilt trip of a lifetime.

I did take a Prozac last night. I am feeling pretty bloated and have occasional waves of nausea, but so far I have been okay. I didn't sleep too great, though; I'm thinking maybe I need to find a new time slot to take it. I also am still having that weird tingly feeling throughout my body and I feel like every thing in my body is shaking. I also swear the pills give me hot flashes.

We had a meeting today and a couple times my coworkers, as well as my boss, ripped in to some newer employees and their work. I just mentally shook my head. I felt like saying "oh, and I suppose no one in here was ever new and had to learn to do their job? No? You all just knew how to do it perfectly right off the bat?" I mean, sure we seem to get person after person who just never seems to get the hang of anything, but JFC right off the bat my coworkers have no sympathy for anyone just starting and/or with no medical background. Oh but I forgot- all of my coworkers are absolutely perfect and know how to do everything and never make any mistakes. Ever.

Random Thoughts

Snowed again today. I think we got something like 6 inches or so. We opened at regular time, of course, though to be fair it had just started snowing when I woke up at 7. We got to leave at 3. I fared relatively well driving home. Thank god I got new tires before the winter, because my old ones would have never stood up to this weather.

I woke up feeling very strange this morning, an almost tingling-like sensation running down my spine and spreading out into my arms and legs. Fuzzy-headed feeling. Had another headache brewing today, this time over the left eye. Oh, and I was super crabby. And there is only one thing I can having to do with it all- stopping the Prozac. So I guess I will be trying it again tonight, but I am not taking it every night for now. I am not looking forward to this.

Five pills. That's all I have taken total. And it's already embedded that much into my system that I can already feel the effects of stopping it. And people wonder why I am so reluctant to put this shit in my body? Really- how are they any different than illegal drugs?

Random Thoughts

There is a trending story on my Facebook page about a dentist being charged with the death of a patient who was having 20 teeth pulled. Twenty teeth? What the hell does someone do in their life to have to have that many teeth pulled at one time? Even if you can't afford to go the dentist, toothpaste and toothbrushes don't cost that much damn money!

Speaking of Facebook, earlier one of my cousin's wives posted something about today being her daughter's first cheerleading competition (followed by "been waiting for this since they said "it's a girl!""- I can't tell you how hard I side-eyed that). Why are there so many girls in cheerleading anymore? And if it's not cheerleading, it's dance. And not cute dancing, like ballet. Dancing where they have more make-up on than a clown and dance like little fucking pole dancers. Does no one enroll their kids in music or art or ballet or anything traditional anymore?

I rolled out of bed earlier this morning to go and get my blood work done, so that is out of the way. Now I just have to await the results of my numerous tests (LH, FSH, prolactin, metabolic, CBC, ANA, erythrocyte sedimentation rate, and a urinalysis. And yes, despite my best efforts, I managed to piss all over my hand doing the last one. As usual.). I am also still waiting on the results of my biopsy. Not sure why I am so anxious to see my results for any of these test- we all know everything will probably come back normal anyway.

I finally got a free weekend after 2 busy weekends and it's frigging snowing again. I thought maybe we were lucking out this winter, but apparently that is not the case. And my sister is still at work for another half hour. I am a nervous wreck about her driving home. 

Ooo! I just realized it is Food Factory marathon time! Woooooooo!

Shit

I am starting to get really anxious that I am going to come down with the flu again.

I really hate Sunday nights. I hate going to bed when I am not ready to.

Also, it is snowing again. The temperature is supposed to rise and it is supposed to switch to rain, but it is still making me nervous.

WTF

Where in the hell is the snow? I just know my boss is going to call in a few hours and say the office is open, despite the fact that we cancelled all of our appointments for today.

What a fucking bust. I want a snow day, dammit!

7:19PM: So what was predicted to be at least a foot of snow turned out to be about 2 to 3 inches. I am usually one of the first people to cut weather people slack, but this time I am pretty pissed.

And we had a delayed opening. Which would have been nice if the damn decision would have been made last night because maybe then I could have, oh I don't know, SLEPT IN instead of being woken up at 6:10AM by my FWA texting me to complain that we were under a travel ban and she wasn't going on the road with that in effect. Then my boss calls me not long after to tell me the morons up north still hadn't made a decision and she'd text us all at 7. She didn't text until 7:30 to let us know that there might be a delayed opening and she would text us all at 8:30. All I wanted so badly to do was fall back asleep and my FWA kept texting me. I was about to text her back and say bitch I want to sleep leave me the fuck alone! Then my boss texted us all a little after 8 to let us know there would definitely be a delayed opening. I never did get to fall back asleep.

I ended up going in (the rental units were not happy). The roads weren't great, but I was okay driving in them. Just a little nervous, but for the most part I think I remained incredibly calm. I think I was more scared when I was leaving than when I was actually out on the roads and driving. Hell, I was not nearly as scared as I was when I had to drive in that ice storm last year. And thank God for my new tires. My old ones would have never held up.

It ended up just being 4 of us in work. No FWA, no boss, etc. It was a nice relaxing day. And best of all, I didn't have to use a personal day!  

My appointment ended up getting cancelled (unlike my stupid place, their office made the decision YESTERDAY to close today) and rescheduled for February 17th. I am annoyed that now I have to wait another 3 weeks, but once again, I have waited this long.

I hate to say it, but since I got my blood results, I have been feeling a little calmer, even though I still question the accuracy of testing hormones. I would have rather have had them tested on the third day of my cycle like you're apparently supposed to be. And I would have been closer to that point had I been able to go on the 17th. Except I had to get the damn flu.

God, it needs to be the weekend already.

*Raging Intensifies*

Post by 6abc Action News.

Random Thoughts

Why the hell is Sarah Palin talking about running for president? That bitch couldn't even handle being governor. What is she going to do, become president and quit a quarter of the way through? The whole world would laugh at this country if she got elected president. Could you imagine that dolt talking to other world leaders? They would eat her alive. Could you see her talking with someone like Vladimir Putin or someone similar? And the best part is she'll quit and blame Obama for it somehow, not because she is an incompetent moron.

So I have been waiting and waiting to go to that appointment, the week finally arrives, and the weather is calling for a massive amount of snow Monday night into Tuesday. I keep hearing conflicting amounts, but last I heard was 12 to 18 inches. Words cannot even begin to express how unbelievably upset I am that I will probably have to cancel this appointment.

And if it's that bad, I probably will end up calling out from work. That company isn't worth risking my life for. Plus I can't remember who exactly it is who makes the decision to close our office, but whoever it is, they are either in Georgia or Texas. What the fuck is that shit?

And if it turns out as bad as it sounds, chances are a state of emergency will be declared and you know what? Any company that makes their employees go out during one of them should be heavily fined. There is a reason they are declared! There is no reason for anyone who isn't emergency to be on the roads during a state of emergency. There is no reason for our office to open. We can't even get all of our patients to show up on a nice normal sunny day. Does the company really think they're going to show up during a fucking snowstorm?

Of course, it's not like I couldn't work from home if needed. Except the company doesn't allow that anymore. And I would not be one bit surprised if my FWA has something to do with that.

I was reading some article in an AARP magazine about women who are having babies long after menopause and some chick in the article says that the bottom line is it's no ones business. Uh yes it is. When these women start popping out babies with deformities and defects, then it is everyone's business. Plus, there is a reason why women go through menopause and can no longer have babies. Why do people have to insist on fucking with Mother Nature?

The WTF Of The Day

Cops: Man robbed of rock salt at gunpoint

Wow, I have heard salt supplies were getting low, but come on.

This winter needs to end already.

FTS

Earlier I was in the midst of brushing my teeth and was playing on my iPad, happened to turn around and caught the tail end of that commercial I have been waiting to see. I was livid. Almost two weeks I have been waiting to see it! And I've kept the channel on to see if it would come on again. No luck so far. At least I know they are still playing it. But still. Argh!

And yes, I am home again. Last night I was pretty sure one of three things would happen 1) we would be closed 2) we would have a delayed opening or 3) it would be bad enough that I would not go in regardless. My manager called this morning and said that corporate decided to open us. I said "WHAT?!" and she goes "I know, right?". I said I wasn't coming in. It was sleeting like hell. My streets looked like hell. My manager didn't even know how she was getting in. And what would we go in for? So all our patients and clients cancel and we end up losing money anyway? Why is it that when a state of emergency is declared, businesses aren't forced to close? We're not necessary! Emergency personnel, hospital workers, etc, yeah, I  could see. But not us.

And while I agree that it's absolutely shitty, my coworkers are bad-mouthing the hell out of work on Facebook. Are they really stupid? And they're acting like we're the only nonessential place in the Northeast open. Um, two of my cousins had to go in to work at normal time as well.

3:50PM: Still no commercial. God, I could just kick something!

I just spent over an hour outside shoveling. My fingers are throbbing (not in pain, more like a pulsing) as they are warming up, I'm light-headed, and my heart feels horrible. I now see why people have heart attacks from shoveling, because I feel like I am about to have one. And I am getting anxious and it's making my heart racing and light-headedness worse.

7:05PM: I didn't realize I haven't brought this bit of stupidity up yet. On Monday, my FWA's friend comes in after being sick for two days, hacking like the hounds of hell (she has one of the most annoying coughs I have ever heard; when people say someone sounds like they're going to cough up a lung, that's exactly what she sounds like she is going to do) and sounding contagious as fuck, and one of my coworkers looks at her and says "you look like you have pink eye in both eyes!". So she makes an appointment with her doctor. But sticks around until 2:30PM. The next day, she comes strolling in. Oh and she did have pink eye! And now she is in work AGAIN. She couldn't take off because just like my FWA, she only has one PTO day left. So instead, she decides oh I'll just come in with an extremely contagious disorder. My manager should have made her go home, because not only was she putting her employees at risk, but our doctors and our patients as well.

I swear, sometimes the level of stupidity in that place just astonishes me.

Random Thoughts

I waited all last week for the weekend to come to see that commercial I talked about before, pretty sure I'd see it during the normal shows I see it during. Not once. I am really disappointed.

And speaking of commercials, I was reading comments on Cheezburger about that huge controversy about the Coke commercial with either "The Star Spangled Banner" or "America the Beautiful or whatever sung in different languages and.....really? Just really? Some of the things people wrote on Twitter were just.....embarrassing. I'm not one to really talk, but some of the things people get up in arms about nowadays are just ridiculous. I don't know who is worse- the ultra PC people or the people who feel their white American Christian beliefs are threatened.

It's like that whole thing with the mixed race family in the Cheerios commercial last year. I've seen two mixed family commercials recently, a new Cheerios one with the same family and one for Swiffer. I've haven't heard any complaints about the latter, but the former.....oh boy. Like who fucking cares? Is it really that big of a deal that two different races mated? If it personally offends you that much, then you have bigger problems than me.

Last year (I think), there was some young girl missing in NJ. And they did find her dead and apparently it was two boys who killed her. I had to laugh when a couple weeks later, the family started talking about filing a suit against the township for not finding her sooner. I just laughed in disbelief. One, she would have been dead no matter when they found her. Two, they found her in less than 3 days. I don't even know if it was 48 hours. A blonde white girl missing? The whole town will be turned upside to find her. And it was. People searched for her day and night. After that surfaced, any sympathy I had for the family evaporated.

I saw this sticker on the back of a car yesterday that said "Real girls are gamers". Now I enjoy old school video games (Yoshi's Island!), but this whole "gamer" thing so fucking annoying, especially when you have girls who have to constantly brag about being gamers and oh they are so not like those fake gamer girls wah wah wah. Ooo you're so unique! STFU already.

I have been ridiculously bloated lately and I don't know if it's all due to the bad eating I have done in the past week or if I either have a new cyst or the left one is still present, but has enlarged. On Thursday I had a pretty significant amount of cramping in my lower left side and across my entire lower back. My breasts have also been kind of sore and I had a few days here and there of light bleeding. If this is something I am going to have to constantly deal with, I'll scream.

Another thing that is making me want to scream is how bad my memory is getting. Last Saturday we were at a different Wal-Fart than the one we usually go to and when we were leaving, I stopped outside because I honest to God could not remember what one we were at. And just as I was about to have a panic attack, I finally remembered. And the whole night all I could think was, what the fuck was that about? And I think I took my night pill at 9 instead of 10 like I always do. And now I am not sure. And I am going nuts trying to remember.

I noticed my tooth that has been bothering me hasn't been bothering me lately, except it seems to be sensitive to really cold stuff. And instead of being like most normal people and thinking oh good it's no longer bothering me, now I am worried the tooth root died. And harassing my good friend Google on what the symptoms of a dead root are. IT. NEVER. STOPS.

The good news is, my anxiety seems to have lightened up some since last week.

It's snowing. Again. STAHP MOTHER NATURE.

Random Thoughts

Well everyone I was concerned about is home safe and sound right now. I was a wreck all day. And when I said something to my manager about being nervous, I get "there's nothing  you can do about it unfortunately". There is nothing worse than saying that to someone with anxiety. It's right up there with telling someone with OCD to stop thinking about [whatever they are obsessed over]. I know there is nothing I can do about it! It doesn't mean I won't worry about it!

Actually, I can think of something more annoying. Telling what my manager said to me to my FWA and her making it about herself ("that's the worse thing to tell a pregnant girl"). Everything is always about her. I never seen someone so desperate for attention in my life. Yesterday, someone said they saw snow last week and she says "oh yeah I saw it last Thursday when I was home throwing up". Like who fucking cares that she was home throwing up?

And speaking of annoying, my perfect cousin with the perfect life just had her baby last week. And her Facebook post was vomit inducing as expected, although I expected it to be even worse. She was a scheduled C-section, so I am surprised she didn't post something like oh everything was just wonderful with my C-section, the doctors were wonderful, my incision was just perfect, and I woke up with absolutely no pain due to all of the love surrounding me when I woke up. BARF. And every posting since then has been just as every bit as nauseating and she's always "feeling blessed".

My coworker who is always playing with her phone brought her baby in last week. He loved me, go figure (I played peek-a-boo with him, which is apparently his favorite game). He still reminds me of Opie, though. I'm sorry, some babies just really aren't that cute. I know everyone will think their baby is cute and I'd probably be the same way....oh who I am kidding? If I gave birth to an ugly baby, the first thing I'd say is JFC what is that?

Now.....just keeping my fingers crossed for a delayed opening or snow day tomorrow.

(please be the latter)

ETA 2:26PM: We ended up having to go in regular time. I ended up just taking a personal day and I am really pissed off that I had to do so. I guess it's just my overactive guilt gene, but I always feel terrible when I stay home from work. I feel like it's just expected of me to go to work every day and when I stay home, even on a day I requested to have off, I always feel a little bit of guilt. It's so ridiculous. As is this weather. I am so damn done with this winter. And then I can't even get a break when spring rolls around. Then it will be worrying about storms constantly.

When my boss called this morning, my father answered and told her he doesn't think I'll be coming in. I wanted to die after he told me that. I'm so fucking embarrassed!

And all of my coworkers are whining on Facebook because if they came in late, they had to use PTO time, which is odd because normally we cannot take any less than 4 hours. But for some reason not today. FFS, they whine if they don't get paid (like the day the office was closed) and they whine if they have to get paid....WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT???!

Super FTS

I'm a nervous wreck about tomorrow. Off the fucking wall. My period is starting to come on, but it won't fully come on to relieve me of this psychotic hell. I know I have mentioned my emotions run rampant from about the point after ovulation ends, but nothing is worse than the point between it starting to come on and it actually coming on full-blown. That is when my hormones seem to be the most enraged. And I feel like screaming just come on already!

Also, I turned on the radio last night and was flipping through the stations and 106.1 was playing "Love Me Again" by John Newman. Oh well. Give it time and I guess I'll be hating that song soon.

Random Thoughts

So I got a copy of my last ultrasound report. The good news is, the right ovarian cyst resolved. The bad news is a functional cyst showed in the left ovary. The myometrium also appeared slightly heterogeneous, which I have no idea what that means. And the thing that pissed me off:

High-resolution real-time sonographic imaging of the pelvis was performed transabdominally with the urinary bladder distended. The patient declined endovaginal sonography.

Excuse me? I most certainly did not decline a vaginal ultrasound. And what's with the functional cysts? Is this something I am going to have to deal with every month?

Driving to work on Friday morning was hell on earth. The roads were basically skating rinks. I made a left turn out of my development and my car fish-tailed and almost hit the curb. I pulled over to the side of the road to get my bearings and then continued driving to work. It was bad. I was okay until I had to stop. Then when I would go to start out, my tires would spin. I was never so relieved to pull up in front of work. Getting into the building was no picnic either, considering the parking lot and sidewalks were skating rinks as well. Somehow I managed to get to work on time, but everyone else was late. Which isn't much of a surprise, except for our most senior employee. If she was late, then it had to have been bad.

The whole time I was driving, I was gripping my steering wheel hard and trying to remain calm and I kept trying to remember what direction to turn your car in when you start to slide. Of course, even if I could remember, it would have went right out of my head when I did actually start to slide, because I would do the worst thing possible- I'd start to panic. But I guess I was doing something right, because I didn't get into any accidents. Or I was just really fucking lucky.

I just realized the other day that come Monday, it will be eight years since I was hospitalized. Eight years! Eight years since I made the mistake of going off of Effexor cold turkey and fucking up my entire life. And never feeling the same again. It's also been over eight years since I last stepped foot on a college campus. Ugh, I hate that I turned thirty without a college degree.

And I hate how people will say things to me like "oh they make you do [insert whatever] in college" or trying to tell me some other thing about what college is like. My manager* said to me one day "oh they make you write a lot in college". JFC people, just because I haven't earned my degree yet doesn't mean I have never been to college. And it says right in my resume where I went to school.

*Then again, this is the same person who tried to tell me what Prozac and Wellbutrin were for. O RLY? I had no idea what I was ever on those drugs for!

Also, last night I was thinking about that time a bunch of MGMT fans and 1D fans were arguing over Harry and Andrew and I started to laugh. Okay, so what if Harry happens to wear a bandanna headband and has - gasp - curly hair as well? Did Andrew become the patron saint of curly headed males with bandanna headbands or something and no other male with curly hair can wear a bandanna headband or else they will be accused of emulating Andrew? And really, would that be such a bad thing to emulate Andrew?

And one more thing- when I got off of my bike today and went in to get a shower, I turned the radio and "Time to Pretend" was on. And when it ended, the DJ said about it being MGMT and the song was off of....Oracle Spectacular. I gave the radio such evil eye. Really? You're an alt rock station DJ, the only radio station in my neck of the woods that pays MGMT any attention, and you don't even know the correct name of the album? Gurl, WTF???

Random Thoughts

Ugh, I am not looking forward to my first full week of work since the week before Thanksgiving.

I miss when I used to have my own space at work. I hate having to be in the middle with everyone else and  all their goddamn talking. I am still so annoyed with my manager on New Years Eve. Your employees are standing around talking, you know it is annoying another employee who is the only one actually freaking working, and you don't even bother saying anything? Even if it wasn't annoying me, it was still ridiculous to allow them to stand there and talk for so long (45+ minutes). Not to mention listening to my FWA go on and on about her white trash drama was beyond insufferable. My manager has no fucking backbone.

It's like on Thursday she told the girl who is always doing something other than working to go ask the doctor if the charts were ready for me to take care of the forms and she says "okay" and then goes back to playing on the internet and talking to my FWA's friend. Then goes in the room with the doctor. Comes back out after the exam. Still no charts, so I go in and ask my manager if they're ready, she asks me where the girl is, I say she is in the center at her desk. And then my manager basically just told me I need to just wait for them. No asking her if she asked if they're ready, nothing. Maybe I don't want to wait. Maybe I would like to get them done ASAP.

My manager is so desperate to hold onto this girl and I don't understand why. Maybe she works okay as an MA, but outside of that, she's fucking lazy as shit. If she's not talking, she's playing on her phone. If she's not playing on her phone or talking, she's on the internet. If she's not on the internet, playing on her phone, or talking, she's outside smoking.

I don't remember if I have discussed this story or not and I am not about to weed through any old entries to see if I have, so I am just going to tell it anyway. Because this girl plays around so much, my FWA and another worker will do one of her jobs when it starts to get backed up (and now I have been taught to do it so guess who will probably be picking up her slack one day?). And one day when they finally said something to my manager, she basically told them she doesn't care who does it as long as the job gets done. No. Sorry. That doesn't fly. If someone is given a certain job assignment, then they need to do it. It's one thing if she has an overabundance of work or something, but she doesn't. She just plays around too damn much.

Last week, I had her job of getting rid of old medical charts and I came across a rough draft summary that my FWA had typed and in part of it, she had used the wrong last name (she had typed the doctor's last name instead of the patient's; say the doctor's name was Dr. X and the patient's name was Mr. Y; she had typed Mr. X was examined by Dr. X) and our doctor the summary was for had even circled it, yet when I brought up the final report, it still had Mr. X. Like how does someone even let that slip? The doctor did not. But everyone else did. And to think I am so overly concerned about my summarizing all of the time. Maybe I should stop.

LOL. We know that ain't gonna happen. That would require pulling the giant stick out of my ass.

My FWA told me one day that she has never had any of her summaries complained about. She is so full of shit. I remember her telling me back when I worked there before about a complaint here and there. And then she told me last week that when she had first started, she used to do something one way and then one of our doctors told her not to do it that way. I swear to God that girl is a pathological liar. I don't believe anything that comes out of her mouth anymore.

We got hit with a lot of snow on Thursday night. Thank god on Friday we [SHOCKER] had a snow day. It was bad out there. Even Saturday night when we went out to dinner for my birthday, the roads were still pretty bad. That was unacceptable. It's not like Saturday was a terrible day (it was sunny, albeit cold) that the trucks couldn't have been out salting and cleaning up the roads.

This weather sucks. Today it's in the 40's, but come tomorrow night, it's supposed to get brutally cold. Tuesday the high is going to be 10 degrees Fahrenheit. I know that is nothing compared to Canada and such, but when you're chronically cold, it's pretty brutal.

I so knew once I went back to work, the weather would get snowy and cold and miserable. Of course the two winters I was unemployed it was mild.