NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

N.J. to drop many COVID restrictions May 19. Restaurant, indoor capacity limits eliminated, but social distancing rules remain. - nj.com

via GIPHY

Random Thoughts

I was in the shower earlier listening to "Siberian Breaks" and it got me thinking about how long I've known the song and I realized it's been almost a decade. Just took a look at my iTunes library of when I uploaded Congratulations and it was exactly 9 years ago today I uploaded it. Nine years! WTF! 

Not that I look forward to any work week, but I am especially not looking forward to this week. My manager has been in quarantine the past week and will be again this coming week. Last week, any time I was stuck with just the Gruesome Twosome, it was a fucking nightmare. They did not shut up. And I think two days this coming week will be just them and me. I want to scream every time I think about it. It's bad enough neither of them know how to shut the fuck up, but both of them have two of the most annoying voices I have ever heard in my entire life. Why is it people with the most annoying voices are always the most talkative?

One day one of my coworkers was telling me how she isn't planning on getting the vaccine, and that she never bothers getting any like the flu shot or anything, she takes Emergen-C, she never gets sick, etc. I mean, we won't even point out the fact that the doctor you work with is elderly, has heart problems, and is incredibly high risk....but really? You think taking Emergen-C keeps you from ever getting anything? Okay. Whatever helps you sleep at night. She was going on again about it one day with my FWA, who also unsurprisingly not getting the vaccine. My FWA also said at the same time that she would rather her daughter get the flu than a flu shot. A few minutes later the other coworker decided to share that she never votes. Folks, I can't. I just can't.

Random Thoughts

And here we go again, another weekend almost over. And one that is an hour shorter.

Earlier my FWA posted something and complained about cancel culture. Now as I have said before, I am no fan of cancel culture. But for some inexplicable reason, when something that I don't care for pisses off people that I don't care for, I get a jolly out of it. Especially when they get so goddamn offended over it. I mean some people really come apart at the seams, like it actually personally affects them. Like just gripe it about a handful of times and then STFU. Also, if anyone needs cancelling, it's my FWA, for being so offensively stupid.

The other day my manager was sitting at the lunch table once again reading, and the gruesome twosome started talking away. At one point I seen my manager look up at the ceiling, like she was starting to get annoyed. But did she get up and say anything? Oh heaven forbid! Do we want the earth to fall off its axis?!

That former coworker I talked about the other day all of a sudden is on a roll with bitching about Biden. Let me get this straight- she constantly posts memes praising Chump and bashing Biden, and then in another post will post memes that condemn people for acting stupid during the pandemic. I mean....she does realize that Chump is a big part of the reason why people are acting stupid? Well, apparently not. Then again, this is someone who constantly posts about RIL she is, and I wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her.

On another note- it's been a month since my second shot. I'm still here!

Random Thoughts

Two weeks since my second dose and what do you know? I'm still alive. I didn't die. I didn't turn into a zombie. I didn't become a slave to Bill Gates a la the robots to Mom in the "Mother's Day" episode of Futurama. My children didn't turn gay or trans. I don't have kids, but that's not important right now. 

Another weekend almost over. I feel like it's no sooner 4:30 on a Friday and in the blink of an eye it's Sunday and almost time to go back to work. By dinner time on Saturday night I start getting this overwhelming feeling of the blues about the weekend being almost over. I look forward to my [boring] Saturday routine so much that when it's over, it depresses me. Sometimes I swear it's the only thing that gets me through the week.

The song "The End of the World" by Skeeter Davis just came on in my iTunes playlist. I knew that song long before I ever saw Girl, Interrupted, but ever since that movie, I cannot listen to that song without thinking of Susanna finding Daisy after she hangs herself. That scene still haunts me to this day. I love that movie, but I guess with having mental issues of my own, sometimes I have a hard time watching it. It leaves me feeling kind of unsettled sometimes when I watch it. I don't really know why.

Huzzah!

Well, folks, I'm officially vaccinated. Except for a fairly sore arm, I'm feeling okay. How I'll feel later on or tomorrow might be a horse of another color.

ETA 2/13: I'm not feeling terrible, but I can't say I am feeling great. I have a strange headache, keep getting periodic body aches, and keep getting hot flashes. It's nothing too disruptive but still unpleasant.

EEEEEK

Four more days until I get my booster shot. I've heard that the second one can be a lot more brutal, so I'm prepping myself for possibly feeling like crap. At least I'll have the weekend to ride it out. 

That is, if the stupid weather cooperates, since there's talk of snow from Wednesday through Friday. For the love of God, this past couple of weeks has been brutal. I don't mind shoveling, and I consider myself to be relatively in good shape, but there's only so much shoveling a 5'3, 120 some pound girl can take. Especially when it's not light fluffy snow, but that heavy wet snow. I spent a good chunk of yesterday afternoon shoveling, and I could barely move the rest of the night from being so stiff and sore. My back is no longer in the greatest of shape and all of this shoveling isn't helping by any means. 

But I'm going off topic here. NO MORE SNOW THIS WEEK! I want my second shot!

Random Thoughts

I was driving home from work the other day and "The Speed of Sound" by Coldplay came on and was hit with a gut punching realization that this January 13th was 15 years since I was in the hospital. Fifteen years! And I still feel like it was just yesterday. And every time I think of being in there, I just don't even know how to handle it. It was such a disgustingly dark time in my life that I can't seem to ever shake.

And today while I was driving home, that old Jon Secada song "Just Another Day Without You" came on and it made me feel so depressed. I do like the song, don't get me wrong, but it's just so damn depressing.

I know I need to be patient, but between work and all these new variants, I can't get my second shot soon enough. And I know there's probably no point in dwelling over it- oh hell, give me a break. If you don't know I dwell over everything by now, then I don't know what to tell you. Not to mention I come from a long line of dwellers. But it just seriously pisses me off that my coworkers walk around with no masks. And although I am pretty much by myself most of the time, people do have to come back to use the scanner and they're far too close to me for my liking, even though it is probably at least six feet away from me. But no masks, folks!

And my FWA is the most annoying. Because not only does she come back with no mask, but she'll come back to scan shit and as soon as it starts, she whips out her phone and starts to play on it. And her shit will finish scanning. And she'll sit there and sit there and sit there, completely absorbed in her phone until I am ready to scream BITCH YOUR SHIT IS DONE. Just scan it and get the hell away from me

Random Thoughts

After I worked out this morning, I got in the shower listening to "I'm On Fire" by Bruce Springsteen on the radio. It ended not long into my shower, only for "My Heart Will Go On" to come on next. Talk about torture. I can't believe once upon a time I was obsessed with that song and the movie. Ugh.

Because sometimes a little bit of luck comes my way, it appears my vaccine appointment having to be cancelled was a good thing, because I was able to get another appointment with another facility. This past Friday I got my first dose. I've been pretty tired and having a mild headache the whole weekend, although I am not sure if it's due to the shot, my period (because it decided to grace me with its presence on Thursday), and/or both. I go back in three weeks for my second dose. It's exciting, but I am also feeling on the shitty side that I took it from someone who could really and truly use it, even though I was eligible to schedule my appointment and where I had it done, the general public cannot make appointments with. All the articles I keep reading about my fellow New Jerseyans having trouble getting appointments, it's not like I took an appointment from them, since they can't make the appointments there anyway, but I, of course, still can't help but feel guilty. 

Sometimes I think the sole act of just existing makes me feel guilty. 

Random Thoughts

As I mentioned before, I had pre-registered with the NJ Vaccine site. I was surprised to come home on Wednesday to an email telling me I could schedule my vaccination. I got right on it and although most places were booked, I was finally able to find a pharmacy that wasn't ridiculously far who could do it on February 8th. Although I was feeling guilty about scheduling already, I had this sense of....I guess you could call it almost relief. A feeling that I was finally maybe, just maybe, not going to have to feel quite so scared anymore (because lets face it- I'm still going to be scared even after I am fully vaccinated).

So you can imagine what a punch in the gut it was to open my email the next day to find an email from the pharmacy asking me to cancel my appointment through the NJVSS booking site, because they were still so booked with 1a phase people and could not accommodate me at the time. Which I completely get and they totally deserve the spots over me. But I still can't help extremely disappointed. And I am getting extremely frustrated because when I scheduled the appointment, the NJVSS sent me a confirmation email and in the email, there were links to change or cancel your appointment. I have been trying since I received the pharmacy email to cancel my appointment so I could make a new one somewhere else and every time it takes me to the page, they ask you to enter in your birthday, but when I try to, there is no box to fill it in! 

The other day, NJ opened up new categories of people who could get vaccinated. Smokers? Really? You knowingly CHOSE to put your lungs at risk! Why the FUCK should you get priority over certain other groups?! It's not like people choosing to smoke nowadays aren't aware of the risks like older generations were. It's well known to be a filthy DANGEROUS habit, so why anyone is still picking up.....I'd like to know the answer to that. My asshole coworkers walk around with no masks on, but because they smoke, they should have priority? 

I read an article earlier about people who have medical conditions that don't qualify yet. One girl had Addison's. Uh, they have to take steroids? That compromises your immune system! Why on earth is Addison's not on the list? Another condition that's apparently not on the list, cystic fibrosis. Are you even kidding me with that? Newsflash- it is a disease that AFFECTS YOUR LUNGS.

I don't understand the world. And don't even get me started on Inauguration Day.

Semi Woohoo!

Joisey opened up the Covid vaccination pre-register either yesterday or at some point in the past couple days. I was ready to roll over and go to sleep last night when my sister texted me that it was open, so at midnight last night I was pre-registering to receive the Covid vaccine. Lord knows when I'll get it though. 

The whole criteria is so confusing. Obviously I do not fall under the categories of 1a and 1b, but I can't seem to figure out if I fall under the 1c category anywhere. Although I was furloughed due to lack of work, my place stayed open, as it was deemed "essential". We do have doctors who perform exams but don't provide care (and most of the doctors in my particular office are retired and no longer practice). Trying to figure it out is like 

Random Thoughts

Ah, good ol New Years Eve, we begrudgingly meet again.

Returning to my rant on Covid, last week there was an obituary in the newspaper for a couple who died of Covid days apart from each other. They were both 93 years old. Married for 71 years. Why? Where is the justice in this? You make it all those damn years, only for a goddamn virus to get you? A virus that should have been better contained had we not had an incompetent orange blowhard in office. Then you have assholes who deliberately defy CDC guidelines and gather in large groups with no masks, they get it, and they fucking survive.

I'm constantly hearing commercials for mask wearing, about doing it to protect your neighbors and yourself. When I go into work, do you think I do it to protect coworkers? No, I do it to protect myself and to prevent bringing it home to my family. If they can't have the decency to wear a mask when they're near and/or talking to me, then tell me why should I really give a shit about protecting them?

I've said it before and I'll say it again- I never thought it was possible for me to dislike people more, and then Covid happened. I know humans can be selfish and hateful, but this is just a whole other level even I never would have imagined. It's mind boggling that humans can be so rotten.

Random Thoughts

Usually it doesn't take long for the post-holiday blues to start kicking in on Christmas day, but for some reason this year it was a delayed reaction. I don't know if it was due to the complete chaos (although that's a pretty standard thing for any holiday in this household) or the damper the whole Covid pandemic has put on basically everything this year, or what the heck it was. But it's coming, oh my yes. Then you go on the internet and you see gazillions of headlines of how the worst of the pandemic is yet to come, it's going to be a dark winter, predictions are grim, etc, etc....and how are you supposed to feel any better?

I don't understand why people are so anxious to say goodbye to 2020. Yes, it was a horrendous year, but when that clock strikes midnight on Thursday, guess what? Covid is still going to be here. It's not going to just magically spontaneously combust and go away, even though that would be like the greatest thing ever right now. Nope, it'll still be here gracing us with its little spiky ass, wreaking havoc.

And being able to get the vaccine, that cannot come quick enough. Although I am getting to a point where I'm not even sure if having the vaccine is going to help my anxiety levels much, although I do believe my anxiety levels won't be nearly as bad as they are not being vaccinated. I was somewhat hesitant on getting it before, but I can't take it anymore. I just want this to go away. Lord knows what kind of side effects it could cause in the future, but I just don't even care anymore. I'm not having kids, so I don't have to worry about any effects in that aspect, no mutants or flipper babies (IT WAS ONLY A COUPLE OF FLIPPER BABIES!!!)

I was reading an article the other day profiling people who have died from the virus and the entire time I read the article, I could feel my blood pressure rising. All of these people died needlessly, yet every single asshole in the Chump administration who have caught the virus through every fault and stupidity of their own managed to survive it. Where is the justice? Yes, I know life is unfair, but come on. This is just rotten.

And one of the things that tore at my soul the most reading the profiles were the loved ones saying how scared the deceased person was when they were sick. That bothered me. A lot. Reading about these people only fuels me in wanting to get the vaccine. Do it for them. Because they didn't get a chance.

I also want it to protect myself from my asshole coworkers. All I want is an answer to why they feel so sure of themselves that they aren't carrying the virus. Is it arrogance? Stupidity? Both? And I also want to know why one person cannot have the decency to put a damn mask on when they're talking to me. You see me with one on, have some damn respect. And I shouldn't have to demand it. Just do it. Have some sense.

Meh

When you have no life and are off from work, you spend too much time on the internet and end up coming across articles with links to sites like this Covid 19 Risk Tool. I took it out of curiosity and apparently I have 0.01 times the risk of dying from Covid 19 compared to the average risk of the American population. Good to know. Obviously I fully understand that you can be young and healthy and still croak from it, but with the way I very clearly feel about life, I'm pretty sure I'd make it through with no problem.

The Headline Of The Day

Last-ditch effort to throw election to Trump quashed by Supreme Court

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's an idea- STOP worrying about the election, ACCEPT that no one likes your orange ass, and make yourself somewhat useful in controlling this damn pandemic already!

The WTF Of The Day

'Melania Antoinette': First lady faces backlash after unveiling tennis pavilion at the White House

Millions infected, hundreds of thousands dead, PPE shortages, unemployment, election officials' lives being threatened because your husband is a big fucking sissy and can't accept that he lost....but all is great! Melania had a tennis court....my bad, tennis pavilion built!

You ma'am, are a world class cunt.

ETA 9:17PM: Apparently this was her response back in March when she first posted about it:

I encourage everyone who chooses to be negative & question my work at the @WhiteHouse to take time and contribute something good & productive in their own communities

We did. It's called we did our American duty and voted your asshole husband out of office. 

Here's some things to think about:

Photos show what happens when you get severe COVID-19 and why you don't want to get it now (yahoo.com)

Incarcerated Texans enlisted to work in county morgue as COVID-19 deaths overwhelm El Paso

Doctor recreates what COVID patients see in the moments before they die

And referencing a Canadian doctor, but not any less haunting:

'I care about you': Heart-wrenching image of Alberta ICU doctor sparks calls for more discipline in COVID-19 response

Fuck you, fuck your husband, fuck your stepchildren and biological child, fuck the entire administration. May you all burn in the deepest level of hell one day, you rotten sociopathic pieces of shit.

Random Thoughts

Gotta get through one more day, then it's another week long staycation for moi again! *throws confetti*

Another perk in addition to it being Friday and the last day before vacation- my FWA is off.

The other day when I was driving to work, I happened to put a station on that is mainly just talk (I only have it programmed right now because during the holidays they play Christmas music on the weekends) and the DJ was going on some rant about lock downs killing people and that something like 9 out of 10 people that have died of Covid are DNRs. I....what's your point there, Einstein? So we should just diminish their deaths because they were DNRs? No, they should not have been in that situation in the first place. 

And I'm still trying to understand how lock downs kill people. Seriously- someone explain this to me.

Random Thoughts

Another Thanksgiving down the tube. Nothing different. Much to my displeasure, it was still celebrated the usual way. I kept pushing to cancel it, but noo. We all pretty much stayed masked up, though some people got a little lazy throughout the night. I of course kept mine on the entire time (with the exception of eating of course). Luckily it was a fairly mild day, so I went around and opened up as many windows and doors as as I could to at least get some kind of filtration through the house. I don't know how much good that did, if any. 

I went for a walk a couple times after dinner and there were just cars parked everywhere, so clearly the old farts in my neighborhood gave no fucks about Covid. I can just image how the rest of the country was as well. I can't wait to see the Covid numbers in the next two weeks. The past couple weeks will probably be nothing.

I got an email in work the other day from one of my coworkers, she wants to have a glass painting party next week in our conference room, along with pizza and soda. I just shook my head. Like what part of WE'RE IN A FUCKING PANDEMIC does she not comprehend? I know she likes to go around talking about how stupid she is and she never has any idea what is going on in the world, but come the fuck on. I don't expect people to follow the news as much as I do, but these people that live in their own little naive bubbles....it's not cute. 

I love how the news is raving about how there is a light at the end of the tunnel with a vaccine possibly being distributed soon. Why am I going to get excited? If it's doled out the way it's predicted to be, with my age and my health, I'm going to have to wait forever to get it, if I choose to get it. I'd like to say I would, but the idea of it being produced so quickly is a little unsettling. I trust the science, but I don't trust that crooked administration to not bully the production and release of it. But who knows how I'll feel if it really does end up coming?

Ugh

I checked my county's dashboard of Covid cases for the day....almost 400 were reported today. I almost simultaneously had a stroke and heart attack. Our numbers were never even close to that back in the spring when Jersey was getting slammed. I don't even know if we ever hit 200 in a single day back then.

I'm dreading the holidays coming and then ending more than ever this year. Winter is hard enough to deal with. And it's not that I mind being in a lockdown and having to stay home. It's having to deal with the dreary long cold winter, with having to worry about a fucking virus on top of it. 

I was reading an article the other day about how in Texas prisoners are being paid to move dead bodies until the National Guard come in. There were pictures of the makeshift trailer morgues and just rows of white sheets covering bodies. I closed the article and felt like a hole had been shot through my soul. All of those unnecessary deaths. And what's our dear leader worried about? Golfing, whining, and suing. I hope Satan is building a special level of hell for him and everyone in his administration.

Article Of The Day

Christian Songwriter Is Fed Up With Believers Who Refuse To Wear Masks

I don't know who this chick is, but I like her.

The Stupid Of The Day

As pandemic surges, Trump White House calls Thanksgiving restrictions 'Orwellian'

Hey Kayleigh (good god, that name alone makes me want to punch something), ask a quarter of a million Americans how they're enjoying their freedom right now!