Random Thoughts

Ugh, day I don't even know what anymore of this lower left side and back cramping. It's starting to get to be really annoying. And whenever I try to Google it, all I come across are forums related to pregnancy. Obviously I am not pregnant, so I don't know what else it could be. Maybe a cyst? And I have been so anxious that my period is going to come on early.

I had a dream last night that someone offered me psychedelic drugs. I am not sure which ones. Maybe mushrooms? And I would not take them until I had my earphones and could listen to MGMT while stoned out of my mind. I think I woke up before that happened.

Ugh, still no shows coming to my area. Come on, boys! Please come here! I know they have to be all hipster about where they play, but I am sure there are plenty of places in the area they could play that aren't mainstream. What about the Academy of Music in Philly? I love that place. I have been there at least 3 times to see the Nutcracker, and once to see Handel's Messiah. And I just heard the Rascals are going to be playing there, and judging by the commercial of what their show would be like, if they can play there, then MGMT could certainly play there.

Also, where is news on that third album?

And going back to that whole thing with Abercrappie & Fitch....what is that dude's problem? Hell, I don't give a shit who his target audience is, because even if I was 80 pounds, I wouldn't wear that ugly overpriced shit. And frankly, I don't know why anyone else would. But who he is to say what is good-looking when he he looks like he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down? Yuck. If he saw some of the people in my high school who wore A&F, he might be revolted. Then again, he probably thinks of himself as pretty damn good-looking, so....

And the funnier part is, I saw a lot of fat people wearing A&F as well. Still do. I don't know how they get into the clothes, but somehow they do. Then again, I see that with a lot of people, regardless of the clothing brand. I just said the other day I don't understand how when I go clothes shopping, there is never anything in my size or a little larger when there are so many fat people. Then I remember how most people wear their clothes today and it makes sense. Really, folks. What part of "just because you can get it on DOESN'T MEAN IT FITS" is so hard to comprehend?

Also, doesn't this dope realize the Durrrsey Shur people wear A&F? They're all ugly as shit (please try not to remind me of the whole Mike thing *vomits* I plead insanity). And speaking of them, will they just go away already? In the past week, I have seen an article on Vinny, an article of Snooki offering to help Chris Christie lose weight, and another article of her offering tips to Prince Harry for his trip to Seaside. Yes, because I am so sure her weight loss was really done through diet and exercise. Not. And offering parenting tips to all soon to be mom celebrities? Give me a break. Just because you shit out a kid from your STD polluted womb does not suddenly make you a parenting expert. God, go away already, you annoying little cockroach.

Speaking of weight loss, I was thinking earlier about how it's a shame I am not taller and thinner. Then I could be a model, and be paid to starve myself and be miserable. That is a fucking messed up way of thinking, but I am already starving myself and miserable. So why not be paid for it?

I hate my life. My God, I am 5'3 and weigh anywhere between 122 to 125 pounds, depending on the week. I am not even considered overweight, yet I think of myself as fat. Why can I not be happy with my body already? Why can I not look in the mirror and just fucking be happy with it for once? Why can't I just not care what some men prefer and not be depressed about it? I would like to say eh, fuck him, but I can't, because I want to know why I can't ever be good enough.

And speaking of stupid and annoying, why is when people post something about someone being sick or in surgery or something on Facebook- actually, why is it necessary to post that in the first place, but whatever; clearly I am missing something here- people always have to comment with "praying for you" or "praying for so and so". Like these people are really going to take the time out of their day to pray for the person? I'll believe it when I see it.

Or like how earlier, there were multiple tornado warnings in Texas, and everyone is all "prayers" and talking about God protecting the people. Um, looking at this from a religious point of view, isn't God technically creating this nasty weather? I mean, if I hear of a bad tornado outbreak, I follow the weather sites and the Weather Channel and I think good lord, may something keep those people safe. I remember back this past Christmas when a bad tornado outbreak was expected, including one watch rated a Particularly Dangerous Situation by the SPC. I followed it off and on throughout the day and I was sick over it, even though it wasn't affecting me. Seriously, could you imagine something like that happening on Christmas?

Wow. I am extra snippy tonight.

Oh God I Can't Take It Anymore

Assuming this is true....someone please make this insanity stop!

The Unborn Baby Ewok In Snooki's Womb Is Ruining The Creative Integrity Of Her Shit Show

Random Thoughts

Well, that was not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I finally forced myself to go to bed about 3AM and there had only been one tornado warning issued for further north to me by then. I kept the Weather Channel on while I tried to go to sleep and it took a little time, but I finally fell asleep. I woke up a couple of times during the rest of the night and checked the TV, but I don't believe any more warnings came after that. I was a nervous wreck, though. Not just with the tornado warnings, but just how bad the winds were going to get when the bitch finally touched NJ.

I was a little pissed off that Ativan took so long to kick in. The pill was actually expired, so I am surprised it even worked at all, but I could have used it a lot sooner, like during the three nearly consecutive tornado warnings! That moment of looking outside and seeing all of the light flashing was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. I have watched enough of the Weather Channel specials on tornadoes and many times I saw scenes of tornadoes being filmed and it looked just like that. And with the rain being so heavy, I really couldn't see anything, which only scared me even more. But I was certain one was coming at the time.

Of course today, I am getting the lecture from my mother of how I got myself all worried over nothing and even when I told her about the three tornado warnings and how that moment of the light flashing looked just like what I have seen on many storm story shows, I get "well, stop watching so much TV". My response? Well, this is why people end up being killed. Because they don't pay attention to this shit. I hate anxiety with a passion and always imagining the worst of the worst happening, but in the end, it does have an upside. Shit, if I lived in a house with a basement, assuming it was not flooded at that point, I would have drug my bed and whatever else I wanted with me down into it and spent the rest of the night down there.

I hated rushin the weekend, but I just wanted it over. Except now it's back to hell, er, work. But good news! Next weekend is a three day weekend! Huzzah! It's kind of depressing, though, that the end of summer is coming. I love fall, but I am not ready for summer to be over.

But anyway, onto something new. Ah yes, the fight on Durrrsey Shur! The fight I have been anticipating seeing since TMZ first broke the story about it. What a fucking disappointment! I should have known better. I should have known it would be blown all out of proportion by the evil bastards at MTV and also that it would come right at the end of the episode so it would be drug out into another one (which I think is on tonight or something). It was hilarious, though. Ronnie getting all pissy and taking his shirt off. He took his shirt off and means business now, yo! Then him storming in like an angry little Hulk and doing this to Mike. Mike denying getting involved in the relationship. At this point I was about to lose it. Really, Mike? You don't get involved? Delusion, thy name is Mike! That is ALL he seems to do! Then Mike's hissy fit (which eerily reminded me a little too much of the fit I threw after receiving that email from my boss. I was actually scaring myself when I threw that fit. I was so angry and I had no idea what to do with it.).

But the absolute best part was the huge dramatization in the scenes for the next episode. Holy god, that was the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. Everyone crying (yet not one person stepping in and doing a damn thing to stop the fight. But why should they when it could affect ratings, right?), a flat line bleeping sound effect....give me a fucking break! I will hardly be surprised if I decide to watch it tonight and it turns out to be nowhere near as bad it is portrayed.

I read some comments on the episode on Jezebel and some commenters raised a good point. A commentor by the name of Likeastar1032 said it best:

3) In the previews for the next episode, Sam is the one crying and apologizing for RON fighting and it looks like the housemates will frame it to be her fault, as usual. Again, no accountability for the men of Jersey Shore.

It's true. Sammi is an annoying pain in the ass cunt from the little I have seen of her, but she cannot be the 100% blame behind this. They are all adults. It is not her fault that two grown men can't handle their steroids and emotions and URST for each other and have to rage on each other.

And speaking of these cretins and blame, I 100% blame them for this hurricane. Since MTV unleashed that disease of a show on society, we have had two winters of constant coastal snow storms, an earthquake the other day, and now a hurricane. Of course, these problems have affected other states besides just Joisey, but maybe the head honcho doesn't want to make it obvious that he or she is punishing Joisey for this show, so the catastrophes are spead to other areas and....you know what? What in the HELL am I even talking about?

7:09PM: He banged his own head on the wall? Really, MTV? REALLY? And the crap afterwards- watching 2 juiced up douchebags fight like two school girls, Jenni standing around crying that she doesn't want the kid to die (okay, I know seemingly benign head injuries can kill, like with Natasha Richardson, but come on)- is making me want to do the same thing to myself.

*rips off naughty nurse costume* Fuck you, Mike! You did this! Take care of yourself!

7:32PM: Why would 7 people leave their roommate with a concussion alone?

7:52PM: What are the statistical odds that 4 of the 5 MGMT songs on my iPod would play back to back on a shuffled playlist? I know....I need to listen to more songs by them. Technically, I know 6 songs by them, 2 of which I know from 104.5 ("Kids" and "Time To Pretend"), 1 from the Music Choice channels ("It's Working"), and the rest from the video suggestion box on Youtube while watching the other three ("Electric Feel", "Flash Delirium", and "Congratulations"), but "Congratulations" hasn't grown on me yet. I am just concerned if I were to listen to any more of their songs, my brain wouldn't be able to handle that much awesomeness.

8:31PM: Okay, I'm a dumbass and do think he kind of has a point, and I am guilty of defending this asshole (I defended him against my WA the other day when she kept making snide comments about him. I was half-tempted to rebut at one time with "what happened to the person we all love, but love to hate like you said before?" but then decided against it), but.....












Really, Mike? How old are you again? Oh, but that's right. All publicity is good publicity, right?

Now....here is what a REAL man has to say to this posting.

10:27PM: Oh god, Bouncy (as Lady Miss Kier calls her) is pregnant? Christ. We'll never hear the end of this. It will be like she is delivering the second coming of God.

Random Thoughts

I found out Thursday morning that the racist bitch and my boss spent over a half hour talking about me on Wednesday after I left. If I thought I was angry Wednesday after receiving that email, I knew nothing. To say I am livid would be the understatement of the century. To say my boss is completely unprofessional would be the next understatement of the century.

I have to do something about this. This has been eating at me like there is no tomorrow. I so badly want to pull both of the bitches into the conference room and scream "look, if you both have something to say about me, say it to my fucking face!". And then I want to turn to my boss and say "how dare you. How fucking dare you stand there and rip me apart behind my back to this low life [insert derogatory term]. You are my boss! Show some fucking professionalism!".

You know, since I started working there, I did like I do at every job I have worked at- I make a point to come in and do my job and that's it. I socialized if I needed, but for the most part, my goal was to keep my job just that- a job. Nothing else. No social hour, no nothing. And yet somehow I still manage to get drug into the middle of drama no matter how much I try to just keep to myself. And here we go once again. And the last time I was drug in the middle of work drama, it was a contributing factor to me having suicidal ideation and ending up in the hospital.

On another note, I have kept to my word and have not watching any of Durrrsey Shur this season, although I am guilty of tuning in to the upcoming previews so I can see when the episode when Mike gets his ass handed to him by Ronnie is coming on. I put it on Thursday night and sure enough, a clip of Ronnie destroying things (why does he enjoy destroying things so much?) and then of Mike and Ronnie screaming at each other was airing as the preview for next week. I was so excited about it, I practically came on the spot. Schadenfreude, people! Schadenfreude!

The Headline Of The Day

Abercrombie asks Jersey Shore cast not to wear their items - Aug. 16, 2011

Oh smack!

I don't know who's side to take in this, er, situation. It's always nice to see someone rip apart a Durrrsey Shur person, but then again, this criticism is coming from a store that seems to constantly be at the center of controversey (racism, thongs and padded bikinis for little girls- WTF?), so on what planet do they have any room to criticize someone else?

I hate Abercrappie & Fitch with the passion of a million fiery suns and frankly, if I were to open my internet browser one day and see an article that says every A&F store simultaneously spontaneously combusted, it would make my fucking day.

UPDATE: Abercrombie & Fitch Stock Falls After Offer to The Situation : Just Jared

God, if he looked any gayer in that picture....he also looks like a little boy who doesn't get enough attention. Look, Mommy, I has abs! And a belly button. Pay attention to me!

Oh god, there is no stopping the growth of that ego now. Can it get any bigger?

This is what needs to be done to his ego. Every single part of the picture.

The I Have No Idea What To Call It Of The Day

Went down Seaside Saturday evening. My sister decides she needs to stop in the restroom right across from the Shore Store. There was a pretty large crowd outside and they were all watching the store. My mother and I just hung over by a lamp post amongst the mass of people and I kept my head facing the ocean. I heard some brat, who should not even know who these cretins are, say that Mike was in the store. I was less than 25 feet away from this. This that I have had more sexual fantasies about than should legally be allowed for one human (sickening, isn't it?). *starts hyperventilating, collapses on floor, and rocks back and forth with thumb in mouth*

If I didn't dislike my face so much, you bet your bottom dollar the second I heard that kid say Mike Sorrentino was in there, I would have charged through the crowd like a football player. They were all fucking animals anyway, in the crowd, so who do I care who I hurt? Some fat old ugly ass Puerto Rican bitch almost knocked my mother over running to get a look at Pauly D who was apparently a little ways up the boardwalk. I was half tempted to chase her down, grab her by her hair and pull her to the ground and say "hey bitch, learn some fucking manners! Oh and newsflash- Pauly D ain't going to give your fat fucking grenade ass the time of day anyway!"

I know a lot of people think he is ugly (I want to say I feel bad for him whenever anyone calls him ugly. But then I think of that massive ego and all sympathy evaporates), and I have seen some rather unattractive pictures of him where I can see why people call him ugly, plus there is the whole he looks so greasy that I would probably slide off the bed and break my face if I jumped and attacked him, but I think he looks cute in that picture. He looks normal. And un-douchebaggy.

Besides, I never understand why people complain about Mike being ugly. Look at Vinny. That kid's face looks like a fucking Picasso painting. I don't know why I ever said he was cute. Whenever I see him on the show bitching about grenades hitting on him and pretty much implying how dare they do so and then I look at his face, I want to punch him so bad and then kick him in the nuts.

I seen some comment on Oh No They Didn't that said the person thinks Mike has unresolved sexual tensions for Ronnie. I laughed, then I kind of thought about it. Like I know there was apparently something about Sammi choosing Ronnie over Mike and all that, but....I don't know. I still get the worst gay vibe from Mike, and maybe, just maybe, that is why he starts all that crap between the two of them. Maybe he is a psycho and if he can't have Ronnie, no one can!

I should mention that he would be wise to start sleeping with one eye open, because there is a possibility that his reign as king of my celebrity crush world could be overthrown very shortly.

Random Thoughts

When my former psychiatrist raised the possibility of manic depression to me, I doubted him. And then this past fall, I started to feel good. Really good. Probably the best I have felt in a really long time. And it continued for several months. Sure I had my moments of feeling down and miserable, but the way I felt was something I have not felt in a long time. And then I had to go and start worrying about my foot and that's when I think everything started to crash.

I have felt terrible the past few weeks. Even getting the results of my bone scan is still not pulling me out of this. I feel a little better about it, but my foot is still bothering me and it still has me kind of anxious. I have had to force myself out of bed every morning. All I want to do is stay in bed and not move. I come home from work and all I want to do is the same thing. I feel like I have fallen into a black hole. The littlest things overwhelm me. I just want to cry all the time. I can't stand all of the crap going on at home. I am completely bored with life.

I saw this article the other day. A small part of me died inside. Other than the fantastic set of tits, I really don't know how Katy Perry ever got as far as she did, because if you listen to her songs, she does not have very much of a vocal range. And she is always singing songs that don't seem like they are in that teeny weeny range. God, she sucks so much.

Leave it to this society. She has more nominations than Lady Gaga? Or Adele? I loved "Rolling in the Deep" when it first came out, but now I am beyond tired of hearing it, but Adele has talent. That girl can sing and I really hope she does not die young like she thinks she is going to.

My sister told me the other day she heard "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People twice in one day on Q-102. Another small part of me died inside that day.

I have never doubted for one minute that Snookie is a fucking dumbass since the day that terrible piece of shit show infected the television airwaves. Now that I hear she is considering doing Dancing With The Has Beens and Why Am I Famous Agains, now I know for a fact that she is dumb as shit, because, as I recall, what was it she said about Sitch doing it? Ah yes. This:

I feel, like, 'Dancing with the Stars' is for, like, celebrities that fell off and they need a way to get back in

Can one person really be that stupid? Oh. Wait.

Random Thoughts

It's Friday and I'm doing what I always do- having a date with Moe, Larry, and Curly; then a date with Moe, Larry, and Shemp; then the former again, then the latter, and so on for 3 hours.

I hate my life.

Actually, it is kind of okay tonight to just not do anything. I did get to go out last night. My sister and I went to dinner and then to see the Hangover 2, which I actually laughed a lot more at than I thought I would. But in the grand tradition of things, we got stuck with three girls sitting behind us who are of the genetically unable to STFU at the movies makeup. I wanted one of those monk sticks to hit them everytime they opened their obnoxious ass mouths. Laughing obnoxiously, making comments every 5 seconds, at one point one of the brats decided to take pictures of the monkey. I just don't understand what happened to manners. And god forbid you ask them to shut up. Then you get lip. I don't get that. If I was being a little heathen and someone asked me to stop, I did. I didn't talk back or tell anyone to fuck off or anything (but I certainly thought it).

I can't figure out why exactly it was so funny, but my sister and I were laughing so hard at the part when they played "The Downeaster Alexa" by Billy Joel.

So I have heard that there were reports of the Durrrsey Shur cast being replaced. Everything I have read on it conflicts with each other. They are, they aren't. I wouldn't put it past Moron TV to say that no, they are not being replaced and then at the end of the 5th season taping, they say that the show is no longer going to continue. After all, some of the cretins do have spin-offs, which I am curious to see how the viewership of those goes. Even as much as I fucking love the Sitch, I don't know if I would have any interest in watching a spin-off. Who would he create drama with?

Look at this picture of the stupid son of a bitch. Look at that face. I can literally see the wheels turning in his head as he thinks about what he can do to exacerbate the er, situation.

I never get spin-offs when it comes to reality shows. The shows generally end due to drop in viewership and viewer disinterest, so does anyone really give a shit about the people afterwards?

I am dying to see what happens with these people when their 15 minutes expire. I shouldn't give a shit, but I am dying to hear all of the dirty laundry that comes out when these cretins finally retreat back into anonymity. I won't be very surprised if their eye-rolling, vomiting inducing "family mentality" and love for each other is nothing more than a bunch of phooey. I am also pretty convinced at least one of them is going to find Jeebus sometime down the line.

I was talking about this with my WA today and one thing I am starting to notice is she is just like every other friend I have had- she has to agree with every single thing I say. Okay, maybe she does, I don't know, but when I have her agreeing with something I am saying, and then I recall a time before she said something completely different, then that is when I start to wonder. Like the first time I ever mentioned anything about the Sitch to her, she made a big stink about what a jerk he is and all that and now all of a sudden he is the person we all love, but love to hate (her words, not mine). I just snorted when I read that from her. I was going to call her out on it, but decided against it. It's incredibly annoying. I hate saying stuff and having people agree with me ALL OF THE TIME, especially when it seems like they really do not and are just doing it for the sake of agreeing with me. Or saying something to said person only to hear almost the same words come out of their mouths a few days later. I always seem to attract these people that easily are influenced by others and who try to be like other people. I'm like, people please! Don't try to be like me! I am not a person to mimic. It drives me up the freaking wall.

Oh yes, I had my foot x-rayed last Friday and everything was normal. So now I can go in two different directions- continue to be convinced that an x-ray isn't showing anything and to worry about it still or I can finally move onto the next thing to worry about. Whatever that will be.

Well, a week has went by since I seen that guy and no luck getting to see him this week. I am disappointed. I really do not know why I want to see him again so bad. But I do. And I feel like I will freaking lose my mind if I do not get to. I want to at least see what his face looked like!

I was sitting in work the other and as usual my mind started wandering and I was thinking about That Thing and I started to think about how much I keep from everyone I know. It's actually pretty sad. Things upset me day in and day out and all I do is bottle them up and never tell anyone. And even benign things, but things I still find I am too bashful to ever admit to, I keep bottled up inside of me. If something were to ever happen to me and anyone close to me was to read anything I have written in a journal, or god forbid the letter I wrote explaining That Thing, it makes me wonder if they would question if they ever really knew me at all? Half of the time I don't even feel like I know or understand anything about myself. I feel like a stranger in my own body.

It absolutely kills me to keep That Thing bottled up inside of me from my loved ones, especially my mom. People tell me I can tell them anything, they would never judge, etc but I just know that telling this will not receive a positive reaction. And I already am so ashamed of this. Finally getting the guts to admit it to someone and receive a negative reaction would devastate me.

I am about to go so far out of my comfort zone right now with this, but I am going to admit something that I am definitely not ashamed of by any means, but for some reason or another, I just find I have a hard time ever wanting to admit it to someone. I wouldn't say a fetish, but I have an attraction to disabled guys. More specifically, I am attracted to guys in wheelchairs.

And that guy I am dying to see again? Yes. Yes, he was.

I had planned a much longer post, but after admitting that....I kind of have nothing else to say.

Picture Of The Day

This made me laugh for a good ten minutes straight:



OMFG....that drawing just makes the entire picture.

Picture Of The Day

(From this)

*sputters* What th....they look like they are on a date!

I seem to have a very bizarre sense of taste in what I find attractive. We got this bitch, the Situation, reigning king of my celebrity crush world, an overly jacked up, too tan guido. And then we have Andrew Vanwyngarden, of MGMT, a skinny jeans wearing, longish-haired pretty boy, generally three huge turn offs, but for some reason or another, works with him. Could two people be any more different? And even after seeing this picture (Jeebus, that picture is terrifyingly and disturbingly beautiful), I still get a bigger gay vibe from the former. I don't really get any vibe from Andrew, because it just seems like it would be too obvious. Maybe bisexual at the most.

I'm a tad bit creeped out by how Mike is looking at Ronnie. He looks like, ohhh, baby.

Random Thoughts

One night I had the radio on and "Everybody (Backstreet's Back)" came on and I remembered that it was my eighth grade class song. And then I realized the song was 13 years old and I felt old.

*throws cane at computer monitor*

I am absolutely disappointed in Memebase. One of their memes is Bear Grylls and this whole "better drink my own piss" thing, because apparently he did that one time. Well, I found out from D-Listed that today is his birthday so I hopped right over to Memebase to see what kind of crazy submissions would be up for his birthday. Not one single one. I thought for sure there be at least one "it's my birthday, celebrate by drinking my own piss" or something.

God, is this week going to be over soon or what?!

So huzzah, Durrsey Shur is coming back to NJ. Guess I better get back to Seaside one last time before the madness starts up again. I don't understand why they ever went over to Italy anyway. They were clearly way out of their element over there. None of the residents living there seemed like they wanted them (we know the mayor probably didn't, judging by the strict rules he laid down). Every single picture I have seen of the cast has not one interaction with any Italians. Looks like the cast was constantly with American students abroad. It does not seem like they did anything over there that they could not have done here. And seeing some pictures of the girls that Sitcho has supposedly "hooked up" with, hell, maybe there is a chance he might find me attractive. Ha. Yeah. Right. Too many people tell me I am attractive, although frankly, it just goes in one ear and right out the other. I still want to bash the mirror with my bare fists every time I look in it. And frankly, I am surprised the show is even going to be having a 5th season, after the little bit I saw of the 3rd season, when it became The Ronnie And That Thing He Dates Drama Hour.

I might watch it once to see what went down between Ronnie and Sitch. One can only hope that this went down between the two of them (comment left by Double D):

I assume the hoodie is to hide the damage Ronnie did when he donkey punched the Sitch in the back of the head during one of their sweet, sweet guido love making sessions.

Bwahahahaahahahahaahahahaaha!

Somehow now I like the idea of Sitch and Ronnie better. Ah. One can fantasize, yes?

My WA left work early on Monday. She said she wasn't feeling good and hopefully didn't catch what was going around this office. I wanted to say to her, what is going around the office? There is nothing going around the office! My boss had a cold and my WA's friend- the one that she goes back to talk to for 40 minutes (1o minutes WA time)- had bronchitis (and has been hacking like the hounds of hell and driving me up the wall with it). And then today she is worried her boyfriend might have to have surgery and asked me is it wrong that the first thing she thought was there goes her sex life? Besides wanting to projectile vomit that this white trash bitch is getting laid and I am not, I wanted to say and there goes your weekly pregnancy scares as well. Someone seriously needs to sterilize this bitch, because she is too stupid to procreate. I actually shake in my boots (as should you) that one of these days she is going to fuck and it will actually take.

And speaking of TMI, if I do not go to the bathroom soon, I am going to go absolutely postal.

Random Thoughts

Well, already my three day weekend is almost over. And then it's back!

I am so not looking forward to this week.

My weekend has been pretty uneventful. Friday night I went out to dinner with a gang of people (Mom, sister, aunt, grandmother, aunt's friend, Mom's friend). Saturday was nothing exciting.

Sunday morning, my mom comes in and wakes me up and asks me if I want to go down the shore for the day. Considering the time I was woken, there was only one shore destination we could possibly be going to - Seaside. And sure enough, that is where we ended up. It was like a madhouse down there. It was not a good place to be when your self-confidence is down. I almost had a panic attack when we first got there looking around at all of the people. Maybe it was just my super overcharged sex drive working as usual, but damn, there were a lot of hot guys around (yes, they were pretty much all guidos and all looked like they belonged Durrrsey Shur). And all I could think was, if one guy dare gives me the "grenade" label while I am here, game is over. I am done. But in the grand tradition of things, no guy paid any attention to me.

Between worrying over my foot, being less active as usual, and other unknown reasons, I have been very depressed the past few days. I laid on my bed many times and thought, I don't want to be here anymore, I just want to end it all. And leaving there left me only more depressed.

I am never going to be good enough for anyone, am I?

Goddamn, there were a lot of disgusting sights on the boardwalk. It astonishes me how many fat girls wear bikinis. It's nasty. I could eat all I want down there and not worry about gaining weight because all I would have to do is gorge, take one long around the boardwalk at all the lard hanging out of bikinis, and BLECCCCCCCCCCCHH. I clocked in at around 118 pounds on Friday (although I am sure the number is a lot higher now) and I still flat out refuse to put a two piece on my body that bares my midriff. I have a new two piece, but it's just a skirt and tank top. If my belly is not tight enough to bounce a quarter off of, it will never see the day of light.

And yes, I did see plenty of Durrrsey Shur stuff while I was there. I saw Aztec (which was not the place I thought it was), Karma, the Shore Store (which I was thinking was closer to where we come up on the boards), and the Beach Comber is definitely the place we always eat in.

Video Of The Day

FINALLY....I found a clip of it!

YouTube - J-Woww punches Mike The Situation in the face jersey shore atlantic city

Fantastic. Schadenfreude at its finest.

Random Thoughts

Fudge, it's already almost Sunday. *cries* Isn't there some way we could all band together and declared the work week be two days long and the weekend be five days?*

*spare me the whole economic lecture; I am not being serious

We went to Ocean City today and although it was not a particularly nice day (gray, chilly, and kind of showery), it was nice to finally see the shore again. We got up semi early and went to Ihop for breakfast, where I was very annoyed to find the calorie listing of all of the foods on the menu. I do not want to know how many calories I am eating when I go out. Plus, while I like Ihop's food, I do not care for the one we go to. There was not much to do except walk on the boards when we got down to Ocean City, so that's pretty much what we did, as well as stopped in some stores. Now Ocean City is a little, uh, cleaner than the other two shores I go to and when you walk by the clothing stores, they are not as racy as the other shores. However, I still did see a lot of Durrrsey Shur-related t-shirts at many of the stores (no "I heart the Situation" ones, though. Not that I would buy one or anything, but if someone gave me one....). Then we went to Mack & Manco's for pizza, which was really the whole reason we went and which was good as usual (although don't ask the lower left side of my abdomen whether it was good; I was so uncomfortable on the ride home between a combination of menstrual cramps and intestinal cramps).

The best part, though, was when we were getting ready to leave, I saw two seagulls going at it. And I laughed until my mom reminded me what will come of them fucking.

Hey, I just realized it is my 666th post. Woohoo! And to celebrate, I am going to put the Video Of The Day on here and go dance like a maniac:

YouTube - Taio Cruz - Higher ft. Travie McCoy

Random Thoughts

All those months, all that planning....and it's over. It's been a crazy past few days. Rehearsal dinner was wonderful (and delicious). Everyone behaved themselves. My sister's wedding turned out wonderful. The weather cooperated, my sister looked great, and it just was a nice day overall. I had a blast at the reception. Spent most of the night on the dance floor and hell, there were even times, mostly towards the end of the night, where I was the only one on the dance floor and any other time, I would have panicked and ran off, but that night I was like oh fuck it. Hell, I was even told I was a good dancer by my sister-in-law (my work acquaintance and I had a big debate over that one day in work- this is my sister's sister-in-law, so is she my sister-in-law too? She googled it for me and she told me that she is considered my sister's sister-in-law, but that is too damn redundant to say, so I just call her my sister-in-law as well). The one bridesmaid was drunk, of course, and was starting to get obnoxious and I was very tempted to knock her out a couple times.

And now it is back to that place. Ugh, I dread to see the big mess I am going to go back to since the BP took over my job while I was gone (and I swear to God, if I get any blame for anything she done, I am going to lose it. According to my WA, she taught the BP something and the BP didn't do something right and my WA got in trouble for not teaching her properly. I will absolutely not stand to take that). I am sure my work area will be a pig stye and I will do just like I did the last time she left my work area a mess- I will take whatever she left and put it back on her desk. I am not her fucking mother. I am not cleaning up her messes like every other person in the office does.

And speaking of the BP, she said something on Wednesday that I am still laughing over. Now I thought the time she mispronounced "archives" was hilarious. This really took the cake. We were just sitting talking and she looks up on my calendar and states how she is glad Memorial Day and Labor Day fall on a Monday this year. I was speechless. And then I tried not to bust up laughing as I said "yeah, that is good" (do you really think I am going to bother correcting her?). And this is someone who went through fucking dental hygiene school, which the school she attended is a very difficult program. It just amazes me that she ever got through. And it amazes me how every dumbass in the work place thinks the sun shines out her ass and that she is just "so smart". She is in her 20's; how on God's good earth does she not know BY NOW that Memorial Day and Labor Day are ALWAYS observed on Mondays?! Just un-freaking-believable.

Look, I am no mensa, but I swear to God, I work with some DUMBASS people.

And speaking of dumbasses....."Jersey Shore" -- Italy Trip Delayed | TMZ.com

When is MTV going to get the hint that ITALY DOES NOT WANT THEM THERE?! They need to just take the hint and stay in Seaside. Wait. No, that would not be good news. Then I would never get to Seaside this summer, although I was there when they were filming season 3 last year. And with my luck, I would run into the last person I would EVER want to show my face to.

I like watching TMZ. They are hilarious. If I was a celebrity, I'd certainly make sure I am not one of the tabloid queens, but I would love for the TMZ people to follow me around.

And then there is this- Browse images: Photos: The Jersey Shore Boys Depart for Italy | Radar Online

Tell me- should I cry because this picture is just oh show shweet, because this is about the third picture I have seen of him posing with some poor child (here and here), or should I cry because there is a possibility that one day, a scene like this could happen with the brat in the stroller being the spawn of this douchebag? Come on- we all know he is probably fertile as hell. Although....he does spend a lot of time in hot tubs. And then there is the whole question of steroids.

Random Thoughts

HORRIFYING NEWS OF THE DAY! Out of curiosity, I decided to play around with an ovulation calculator to try to sync up particular symptoms I experience with my period and ovulation and apparently, I am at my most fertile right now. And since we all know I do not want any babies, I should not dare plan on or even contemplate having sex right now!

I almost fell on the floor and wept when I read that. The idea of me having a baby is just too horrifying. I don't understand why those closest to me still like to give me a hard time when I say I do not want children. They have seen me in action. Do they really think I would make a good mother? I know I won't. I want someone to tell me what exactly is wrong with knowing I would not make a good mother BEFORE I actually shoot out a baby instead of doing stupidly like so many idiots that get themselves knocked up AND THEN find out they make terrible mothers? I would so much rather regret NOT having a little snot than to have one and regret it.

Speaking of babies, we received an email in work the other day discussing plans for a baby shower for one of my coworkers. The people who are planning are basically demanding $25 from each of us. Now I am not hurting for money right now, but I do not want to put out that much money. I have much more important stuff in my own life to use that money towards than for someone I hardly know all that well. Frankly, I think they have a lot of BALLS to demand $25 from people in this economy. Then we are expected to bring food as well! Seriously- what the fuck?!

So the Sitch was near my neck of the woods on Friday night, at the Parx Casino. Would I liked to have gone? Sure. But unfortunately, the only way you'd get me in the same room as him is by force or by accident. Despite all of the oh you are so prettys I get and regardless of whether his vile treatment of women is for entertainment, I would stab myself repeatedly before I would ever voluntarily show my face to him. If Mike himself called me and told me he wanted to meet me, I still would not show my face to him. Those thoughts depressed me severely last night.

And as spacey as I have been lately, I could probably sit and have a 45 minute conversation with him and not even realize it was him. Unless he was flashing those abs of his. Which somehow I doubt I am worthy of being flashed the original Situation.

Why should I feel inferior around him anyway? I don't care if he is on one of the biggest reality shows on TV or how many things he is invited to or how much fucking money he is worth....he is still nothing. Is he really going to look back one day and be proud of what he is famous for? Which I have still yet to figure out what exactly that is. His abs? Big whoop. Walk on any beach and you can see tons of young hot toned male stomachs, many probably better looking than his. Is he smart? I don't know. Judging by his behavior on Durrrsey Shur, I'd give a big fat NO. He is dumber than a sack of bricks, by basis of the show. But is he really? I don't know. Part of me wants to say no, he is far from dumb. The other part wants to say no, he just got lucky.

And I may find him cute in some pictures, but every so often the voice of reason pops her head in and reminds me he is NOTHING to look at (in between her mission of trying to dethrone this bastard of his reign as supreme ruler in my world of celebrity crushes). He's greasy, an odd dresser, he's too top heavy, and frankly, he looks like he smells bad.

Speaking of the devil, over on the website TV Squad, every week I looked forward to reading the weekly recap of Durrrsey Shur because the article writer guy is just fantastic. I didn't expect one this week; however, he did write one and he wrote this gem of a sentence:

I thought the most interesting revelation, and accompanying assumption, was that Mike liked to dress his girls up just like him, and how narcissistic that was. The fact that he was sitting like he was visiting the gynecologist for a check up, and looked like a Muppet whose Muppeteer was drunk, made it all the more amusing.

I saw a couple minutes of it and Mike was, indeed, sitting like he was visiting the gynocologist. He always does. Every time I see him on TV, he is sitting with his legs spread apart like he is at the gyno. I already bitched about this before, of how I would like to climb into the TV with a megaphone and scream SHUT YOUR LEGS BOY or something of that nature.

And I am only about 5 months late in asking this, but why is his book called Here's the Situation: A Guide to Creeping on Chicks, Avoiding Grenades, and Getting in Your GTL on the Jersey Shore? Isn't creeping like stalking? Actually I have no idea what it means because there is about a million definitions to it when I googled it and I certainly will not buy his book to find out what his definition of it is. Or rather, whoever actually wrote the book he is getting credit for. Wait, what am I talking about? We all know he spent hours slaving over a hot monkey brai- oops, Futurama is really starting to take over my brain- because we all know he spent hours and dedication writing this Pulitzer worthy novel. But hey, I will be honest- if someone gave me a copy, I might just read it. I am sure when I would actually sit down to read it, I will make it to about the first paragraph before I start screaming "KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!".

I don't know why I would even bother reading it. It's not like I need lessons on how to creep on chicks, avoid grenades, and get my GTL on at the Jersey shore.

And what is this I hear about Rutgers havingthat cow Snookie speak at the school? I just can't with the whole college drop out NOTHING speaking at a college, so I'll go after the next outrage -$32 FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS?! From the student activity fees?! WHAT THE HELL, RUTGERS? I am very pleased to hear students and parents are outraged. Now I would not say I am human, but I like to think I resemble a little something closer to human than this orange retard, and if I was paid all that money and people were outraged by it, I would make sure to return some, if not all, of that money. That fat bitch isn't hurting. Celebrities really need to remember that their fans are a big part of making them who they are and it can easily be snatched away.

I don't know what I am missing something here, but I cannot fathom the "celebrities" of today that have this mentality that any publicity is good publicity. Are all of these people really and truly going to look back one day and be proud of their antics? I am not going to lie; there are some days- okay, a lot anymore- where I get so frustrated with my job and my life and consider throwing away all of the goodness (what little of it I possess) and morals and goody two shoe behavior. But then the voice of reason pops in her head again (she's a very busy girl anymore) and reminds me- would I really be able to live with myself down the line? Would it really be worth it?

And how do these people- with their clothing lines and books and fragrances and whatever other shit- live with themselves taking money for things that they probably had absolutely no hand in creating other than slapping their names and faces on the products?

And you know what really bugs the shit out of me? These people that watch these shows because they are "like watching a car wreck" and then stand there and bitch about the stars' astronomical pays. NEWSFLASH- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. You are part of it all!

And now that I have called the kettle black, I am going to go punch myself repeatedly.

I really need to get a handle on whatever is ailing me, because I am starting to get increasingly belligerent and it's bothering me. The way I have been speaking to people is awful. The only comfort I find in it is if I were to be admitted to the hospital, I have a little more of a backbone than the last time I was there and I will not keep my mouth shut like I did last time when the mental health technicians spoke down to me because if there is one thing in this world I despise, it is being talked to like I am 4 years old. And I keep flying off the handle over everything. I had a dress fitting on Friday and for two weeks I have been a nervous wreck about going back and trying on my dress and not much to my surprise, I could not breathe in the dress when I put it on. I have not gained weight and if anything, the scale was down a pound or two since my first fitting. So naturally I burst into tears and had a meltdown. And then trying to explain this shit to people who barely speak English and were not understanding me only frustrated me more. And forget even trying to get across to these women about having stomach problems and how you can wake up, have one cup of coffee, and your abdomen expands about 2 inches.

I need to get laid. I really do. But since I do not have a sex buddy, I need to just settle for the fact that I am in desperate need of an orgasm right now and I am just too damn tired to try to do so.

And for some bizarre reason, that whole sentence made me think of this scene from Family Guy:

Picture Of The Day

I read this article on Cracked.com and when I came across the picture of Vinny in the hot tub doing God doesn't even want to know, I had to (try not to laugh at the poor Paintshop job):














Is he seriously putting mini-Vinny in the jetholes?

I love the Forever Alone Guy. That's me. Alone. Always. Forever alone.

Random Thoughts

Merry belated freaking Christmas everyone! Another year of making plans to watch A Christmas Story and another year of failing to see it again. People cannot understand how is it possible for me to miss it when it's on 24 hours straight, but somehow I get too busy when the marathon is running. One of these years I will actually see it. One of these years.

Despite the repeated protests of not having much on my list, I think I made out pretty well. I received quite a bit of jewelry. Pretty much everything on my list (what existed of one) was given to me. The only thing I did not receive was a new set of handweights. I need 3 pounders.

And I love the snowstorm yesterday. The one that, as of my birthday, had a 75% of going offshore and not hitting us. Right. Those statistics were quite accurate. I was up most of the night last night worrying about how I was going to get to work. The roads in my neighborhood were an absolute mess. There was no way I was getting to work, so I had to call out. Against my better judgement. And now I am one day short of PTO time next year. I never get why places force you to take PTO time. If I don't want to get paid, that is my prerogative. I would think most workplaces would be fucking ecstatic when an employee wants to decline being paid.

I had to laugh because this morning I was absolutely off the wall over how I was going to get to work and at one point, my father turns to me and says "hey, you paid for it, but that car is in my name and I don't want anything happening to it". I was already pretty pissed off and that almost sent me through the roof. I wanted to turn to him and say "excuse me? Oh now it's not just if you pay for something, it's if it is in your name as well?". Or just go absolutely apeshit. My father has this piss poor attitude that he is in charge of everything as long as he pays for it. He constantly throws crap like that in my mother's face. He is constantly taking her car- the car she paid for with her own cash and has her name on the title- on errands and when she made a comment to him about not putting in gas money despite taking it repeatedly, he made some wise ass comment about oh who pays for the insurance. My mom, although I am very much like her, is different in some ways. If my husband spoke to me that way, I'd knock him on his ass.

And for the record, my name is on that car title as well. And I reminded him of that and then simply left the room because I knew if I stayed in the room much longer, I'd have to do everything in my power to keep myself from knocking him on his fat ass.

I don't understand this weather anymore. Up until last year, every time a snowstorm came, it was always Pennsy that was slammed. Now all of a sudden, these stupid coastal storms keep popping up and slamming NJ and Pennsy barely gets squat. Is this our punishment for Durrrsey Shur?

Speaking of the devil....okay, so I know I am pushing into overload territory here, but I took a trip up to the library last week- due to needing books to read due to the new issue of Weird NJ still not being out yet, but finally came out right afterwards- and I did happen to find that issue of US Weekly, so I snuck off and read it and....wow. Assuming everything in the article is true, the Situation is freaking unbelievable. I don't understand what his problem is, except that he is no diva; he is a freaking whackjob. It almost sounds like he wants nothing to do with anyone else on the show, even Pauly D, who is supposed to be his best friend. He is not the one only one on the show. Mike, you did not cure cancer. Get the hell over yourself.

And he honestly wants to stand there and whine about being lonely? Oh ho! Join the club! Look, I do feel bad for him if he actually feels lonely because right now I feel so friggin lonely I want to scream and it is a lousy feeling, but at the same time I have to wonder. Maybe he really isn't doing anything wrong, who knows, but if he acts anything like he does on the show....well, Mike, I can't imagine why you would drive people away from you. Here is an idea, Mikey- step back and take a giant look in the mirror at yourself- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Take a look at yourself before you call another person ugly. Yes, for some strange reason or another, I find you cute. But I can also say you look like a middle aged old man going through a midlife crisis, you have a big ass nose, your face has enough grease to fry French fries in, your abs are freaky looking, and your arms are disproportionate to the rest of your body. I'm sorry, Mike, you are not perfect.

Really step back and take a look at how you treat women and don't give the bullshit that you love your mommy and your sister and that it is all meant to be lighthearted because newsflash, Mike- it's not funny. Do some of them probably deserve to be treated like crap? Probably. To be truthful, I don't even feel sorry for most of the girls that get treated liked crap by him. And Jesus, for someone who hates "grenades", most of the women he supposedly hooks up with are ugly as shit. These bitches actually make me feel attractive when I look in the mirror. Mike, man....damn! But it's still not funny. And I am sure there are girls that don't deserve the nasty ass treatment he gives. I don't think the checkers girl deserved the treatment she got.

And don't go around slapping people.

And for the love of God- enough with the fucking leader who has to make all the decisions crap!

I almost feel bad saying this, but I hope when his fall finally comes, it comes in A BIG WAY. Maybe when his time comes, he'll take it so bad, he'll decide to take a long walk off of a short bridge. But he cannot take that long walk without screwing me first. And before he screws me, he is gonna meet my mom. Mom'll knock that ego down a few pegs with bitchiness and guilt tripping.

My mother is a scary woman. We won't even touch on my grandmother.

It pains me to say this, but deep down, I do not believe he is a bad person. I think a lot of the slamming of him, albeit hilarious at times, is out of bounds. Other than his misogynistic behavior and girl tantrums, he seems pretty well-behaved. I mean, he isn't in the tabloids passed out drunk or high or mowing people down with that weird ass car of his or anything like that. Is he?

His car ain't bad, mostly because it's black, but I am not a fan of Bentleys. They always seem like such old man cars (please suppress all urges to make any Situation looks like an old man jokes). Plus, the way he customized it....*rolls eyes*. He puts me in the mind of someone that would buy something a little sportier, like a Lamborghini or something. Now, if it is a stick shift, that is a whole different story. There is something about watching someone drive stick shift that just, uh, drives me absolutely wild.

In one of the interviews I skimmed over about him, he mentioned something about being a underwear model and frankly, I never could understand how someone would give him that opportunity because as I have repeatedly implied before, his abs simultaneously freak me out and make me drool (his abs are his Facebook profile picture; freaks me the hell out every time I see the picture; I liked it better when this was his profile picture. And no, I am not a "fan" of him, but he frequently comes up as a suggestion under "Discover more pages" and my sister's fiance is a fan of him). Well, now that I have seen pictures of him when he was younger (I need to find the webpage again), I am going to willingly take that back. Jeebus Christmas, that boy was fucking ripped once upon a time. What in the hell happened? He still is, but believe me, those abs look nothing like they did once upon a time. But then again, he is....uh, how old is he again?

And one more thing- I was reading this article and it had this excerpt from his Pulitzer worthy "book" (I was in Barnes & Noble on my birthday and I walked by the table where his book was last time and someone had taken a copy and placed it front cover down- I lol'd):

chicks do dig guys with shaved legs

We do? Wow, I'm so glad he knows how the female spec....wait a minute....is he implying that he shaves his legs? Bwahahaha! I swear, if that boy ever comes out of the closet, it's going to be absolutely freaking fantastic. Almost as fantastic as it coming out that someone got a hold of his birth certificate and he is really about 45 years old and going through a huge midlife crisis.

If he ever came out, I hope it would be similar to this.

I'm sorry; I am a little stressed over going into work tomorrow. I am afraid I am going to get in trouble for calling out, mostly because I was unable to actually talk with someone when I called out. I left 2 messages, but it was on the general voicemail since oh bright one here does not have any of her coworker's private extensions. Oh and I have to deal with getting my time clock account unlocked, since it was locked due to me trying to change the password and I apparently hit the maximum amount of attempts to change my password. Don't know what the hell I was doing wrong, but it would not accept any of my attempted new passwords.

Random Thoughts

Good God, I cannot stand this fucking sexual frustration anymore. I casually mentioned it to my sister the other day. I never seen her laugh so hard. I am glad everyone finds this so funny!

I was in Target the other day and I was looking in the new issue of GQ (come on- like you really have to ask what I was looking at) and "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC-DC came blasting on one of the display radios. I briefly contemplated knocking over the entire wall of radios.

I despise the show, but I did watch the last 5 minutes of Dancing With The Has Beens And The Why Am I Famous Agains last week and I have one question- who was that man that was eliminated? That man is nothing like the Neanderthal knuckle dragger I saw the few times I watched Durrrsey Shur. I think it was an alien. Shoot it in the back! Quick! While it's not looking!

NOOO! Wait! Why would we want to shoot the alien?! Shoot the real thing!

I watched a clip of him dancing on some Popeater article. He's a hideous dancer. He makes Carlton Banks look like Fred Astaire. He makes my dancing look good and I'm just about the worst dancer on Earth. Oh okay, I really didn't think he was that terrible. Call me a sucker, but I thought he was cute when he danced. He probably did better than I ever would. I can't even walk a crooked line. But that doesn't stop me from laughing hard at this picture. And this one. Awkward much?

Unpositive? For the love of....REALLY, Mike?

I lol'd at this picture, too. He looks rather....uh....glittery? And that shirt reminds me of one my sister just gave me. I'm sorry, I have to ask this....do straight guys wear shirts like this? Yes, I know someone else probably chose it, but why do I not see any other guys dressing like that?

Speaking of men, I saw a picture of Mark Masri for the first time and *opera sings*. Although I do not know his height, I finally have come to understand the appeal of tall, dark, and handsome. Fucking talented as hell too. That voice! And the best part? He's Cana-nadian. Oh my yes.

I also watched the "It's A Jersey Thing" episode of Southpark last week. Guffawed, I did. I almost passed out from laughing when Snookie started raping Cartman and he starts screaming "it's raping me! IT'S RAPING ME!". I also howled at Kyle turning into Kyley B.

The other day in work, it was just the start of my shift and this woman was in who made a big stink from the second she walked in the door. At one point, I heard her screaming at the top of her lungs about something being a sueable offence and she just kept going on and I was about to kick down the door and scream "Ma'am, it is 8AM on a Monday morning. I am tired, I am sexually frustrated, and I have not had an ounce of caffeine in my system yet. SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

I just finally finished my latest issue of Weird NJ and the last article was about something called a Zombie Walk, which is basically just what it sounds like (people dress up as zombies and moan and groan their way around cities and towns). I read the entire article and by the end, I was so ecstatic, I almost died of a heart attack. I want to join in one. We all know how much I fucking love zombies, so this would just be the ultimate thrill.

Random Thoughts

Ahhhh, finally that glorious day has come- Friday!

I have been noticing ever since that lousy death of that young man from Rutgers, bullying has become a very hot topic. Now everyone gives a damn? I was never bullied, but what I went through in sixth grade was close enough. Actually, it was more like borderline sexual harrassment. And I hate how people can stand there and nag that oh you can't let it bother you and you need thicker skin and oh you are just too sensitive and sticks and stones can break your bones and blah blah blah, but there is only so much one person can take. Do various structures not collapse once too much weight is placed upon them? And why the fuck can't people just get with the times already? It's not that hard to comprehend- being gay is not a choice!

I am a nasty person, but I guess there is still a sensitive side to me because I can't stand when some people are treated cruelly. I was reading an article in work about that Angelina chick from Durrrsey Shur and how mean everyone was to her. Now the one time I actually watched the show- okay! the several times I watched clips of it- she got on my fucking nerves. That voice, the excessive sleeping around.... oy (although I did laugh my ass off when she told Mike that he looks like a 40 year old man and that he should get Botox)! She seems like a world class skank. But if anything in this article is true (which, with someone like her, you kinda have to take with a grain of salt), wow. Just wow. Calling her fat? Come on. That is just ridiculous. That girl is not fat. And then in the comments section, someone actually said all of the girls were huge and fat. Come on! Snookie is the only girl on that show that could be remotely considered fat.

And I am shocked- SHOCKED- if Vinny actually said things like that. The rest of them? Not so much. Especially Ronnie. He puts me in the mind of someone who likes to go around calling people whales, but since he is pretty much a whale himself, I guess he really has no room to talk now, does he? But Vinny is supposed to be closest thing to human....like. What the hell, man?

I also keep coming across articles criticizing Bristol Palin on her weight and as much as I dislike that family, the comments are getting to be annoying. Yes, she is not "thin" but she is not that heavy. It's a sad day when I am actually kind of starting to feel sorry for the girl.

Back to the Shur article, I found this lurking in the comments:

he's only staying because of his popularity w/all those young, skanky gals who would bed him in a minute

I resent that. I am not skanky.

I went to a pizza place last night and there was a delivery boy there that reminded me of a skinny version of the Situation and I kept trying to look at him, but of course, every time I would sneak a peek, he would look at me and I would have to turn away real quick. I didn't want to get caught oogling him. But I did want to rip my clothes off and jump him behind the counter.

I found this link the other day. So the Sitch is a tighty whiteys man, eh? Oh myyyyyy.

I have been going nuts trying to find a clip of this Geico commercial I hear every once in a while in work. It has this British guy and it goes something like this:

You know what else is shocking? I'm not the gecko. Ah, you think just because I have a British accent and am talking about Geico that I am a little green gecko. Well, I'm not! I'm a human being! And you know what else is shocking? I wear pants! No, not tiny little lizard pants; big man pants!

It makes me laugh my ass off.