Good news- I am not feeling as shitty as my last post. Man, I don't know what the hell was up my ass that night. I was really feeling bad. I didn't end up going to the party, and not shockingly, I am feeling shitty about not going. There are times I start worrying that I could be sociopathic, but I think the amount of guilt and remorse I feel in a given day is solid proof that I am not. I very much doubt a sociopath could feel guilt and remorse like this.
There is not much I do not feel guilty over- if I respond to someone in a way I did not feel was polite, if I don't say the right thing, if something bad happens, even if it is well out of my control, etc. Back in 2005, when I worked in a billing office, there was a doctor's office on the floor below and one day a man came in wanting to know if the office was open, and he starts telling me how his wife was just diagnosed with cancer and I don't remember what I said to him and while I don't recall being rude, I don't think I was sympathetic. More I was just shocked that this complete stranger was sharing with me, another complete stranger, of his wife's illness. But I
still feel guilty that I was not more sympathetic to him.
I blame myself for pretty much everything that has went wrong in my life, including developing mental illness. Which for someone who is adamant about not having mental illness portrayed in a negative light anymore, it is a piss poor attitude towards it. I want for society to stop blaming mentally ill people for their illnesses, that it is as much of a real disease as cancer, yet I blame myself for my illness. Illnesses. Whatever.
I read an article over on Cracked about movie stereotypes and one was about disabilities in movies. How death seems to be preferred over being disabled. And that disabled people got all butt-hurt over it. Not that it takes much to butt-hurt people nowadays, especially some disabled people. I remember I read a blog a few years ago by a disabled woman and man, did she bitch a lot. But that isn't important. Look, maybe some people can overcome their disability and all that, but some just can't. I've already made it clear to most people in my life that should a time ever come in my life where I am faced with multiple limb amputation or death, do me the favor of death. I'll be damned to spend a life like that. And huzzah for you if you can do it. I can't. And frankly, a person's choice of wanting death over disability does not affect another disabled person's life.
I read Blind Gossip on a daily basis, mostly for the fun of it, because blind items are always to be taken with a grain of salt. But as soon as I saw
this one today, I knew a big storm would be coming. Because Louis was the first person I thought of. And sure enough, the storm of Larry fans did not disappoint. WOW. I really don't know whether to be horrified or laugh, because some of it is pretty damn hilarious. I honestly think there is a very good chance Louis could be gay. I know it's bad to stereotype, but that kid's mannerism just screams GAY. I watched
a video of him talking about his parents' divorce and I'm like there is no way in hell this kid is not gay. He's so
effeminate! Plus I always have to LOL at how every interview with him I have read, he always has to make just a little too many references to his "girlfriend Eleanor". Like why do you have to keep mentioning it? We know Eleanor is your girlfriend*. We know you are dating* her. There is no reason to keep repeating yourself. Unless you are desperately trying to prove something.
*quotations may or may not be needed here
I don't necessarily believe he's with Harry, though. I don't know if Harry is gay. He puts me in the mind of someone who really has no sexual preference, who would be with someone because they make him happy, man or woman. I think Harry is just someone who loves people in general. He'd love you regardless of gender, race, physical appearance, etc, etc.
But these people really need to chill the fuck out. I'm actually starting to feel sorry for the kid, and I really don't want to. The whole management thing does sound like some crazy tinfoil hat conspiracy, but I also do not doubt that it is very possible for PR to pull stunts like that. And if people are forcing a young man to hide his sexuality, this is just beyond cruel. It is heart-breaking. No one should ever have to hide his or her sexuality. If I found out my son was being forced to hide his sexuality for PR, I would hunt down Simon Cowell and shoot him.
But maybe it just simply is he
is gay and hasn't accepted it. The kid is almost 21 years old . That does not mean he is completely sure of his sexuality. I'm almost 29 years old and I still have no concept of my sexuality, whether I am straight or bisexual, although I am fine with whatever it ends up being. Maybe he can't, or is not ready to accept it. But the way some Larry fans are acting, it's not going to help. You can't demand for someone to come out of the closet if he or she is not ready to do so. Knowing that fans will still support you can help, although will they support him if he is NOT dating Harry? And sure, it may help a fan who is having trouble accepting his or her own homosexuality. But it doesn't mean
he still will be willing to accept that it is who he is. Or maybe there are people in his family who aren't okay with gay people. Who knows? We don't.
This is all
hypothetically speaking, of course. I am in no way saying he definitely is. I don't need psycho fans or the princess himself coming after me.
I won't lie- I do look forward to hearing more on this. And the term "beard" makes me giggle.
I went to the Cheesecake Factory on Saturday and after an hour plus wait, we were finally seated. And I discovered my favorite meal, the ginormous grilled cheese, is not on the menu anymore. I was still able to get it, but I am so tired of every meal I like being taken off of the menu at restaurants. And grilled cheese is pretty much the simplest meal in history, so why get rid of it? I've had their pulled pork sandwich before and enjoyed it, but it would have been overwhelming at eight at night. I had their pumpkin cheesecake for the first time and oh my god, was it good.
And speaking of pumpkin, I need a pumpkin pie Blizzard fix soon.
ETA 10/17: Another BI went up yesterday. Why people are questioning this one as a different one makes no sense, when it clearly is a continuation of the first one.
Oh lord....if this happens, Tumblr, and Larry fans, will fucking EXPLODE.
ETA 10/23: Oh mama.
LOL
AWWWW. Wuv. Twue wuv. If I didn't know who these two were, just two random guys taking a picture at what looks like an airport, I'd definitely think they were a couple.
And this:
1D's Louis Tomlinson hosts charity football, looks great in uniform
Cheesus, him in that uniform....damn. I would. I so would. And I would hate myself every second of it. And great. Now I am all riled up and thinking of
this picture as well.
ETA 11/11: Odd. That last blind item disappeared. After Bieber and Selena broke up. So I guess that one was probably about them?
