Random Thoughts

Wow, I don't know what is going on with me this week, but I feel like shit. I pretty much assumed it was just due to the change in weather, since it's been somewhat cooler. My throat feels sore, I'm achy (my shoulder joints have especially been sore), I can't concentrate. I go to bed exhausted yet I am still having trouble falling asleep. And despite having been sleeping pretty well otherwise, I wake up and I feel so exhausted. And when I finally get out of bed and go into the bathroom, I look like shit. My eyelids have been so swollen. And I have felt so damn depressed, which I am not sure if I just feel depressed in general, depressed due to feeling so shitty, or a mixture of both.

I started a new batch of probiotics tonight. They are 5 billion CFUs and contain about 8 different strains. I would like for them to work better than my usual pills, but I'm not getting my hopes up. It would be nice, especially since I woke up extremely bloated. Dammit, if there is one vegetable I love more than anything in the world, it is corn. I love corn, especially corn on the cob. And it has to be one of the worst bloaters. Most people I know bitch that corn makes them go to the bathroom. Not me. It does the exact opposite. Then again, there aren't many things that don't constipate me.

I couldn't sleep the other night and I ended up watching the last 10 minutes of some documentary on opiate addicts. And it was showing all of these babies in the NICU who had been exposed to opiates in the womb and were all addicted to the shit. One poor baby had to have drops of morphine in his bottle to help with the withdrawal symptoms. And the doctors and nurses were talking about how it would be awhile before any effects of the drugs would be apparent. And to tell you the truth, the morphine bottle baby already didn't look right. It made me so mad. And yet child-free people are selfish for not wanting to have children? What, it's okay because at least these people are fulfilling their biological duty? Fuck that. It's selfish, pure and simple. My decision isn't going to ruin anyone's life. That is what I am trying to prevent from happening. Shit, any potential offspring sitting in my ovaries should be thanking their lucky stars I am not turning them into human beings. JFC, that is a horrifying thought.

And finally, since it was the first night, my requisite Musikfest comment- why does Carly Rae Jepsen deserve such a nice night?! Ugh!