I just started reading the Jaine Austen series by Laura Levine and I'm kind of iffy on it. I'm reading Last Writes. It's not terrible; it's a pretty short and quick to read through. But some parts are a bit annoying (how many more times did she have to put "okay I didn't really say that"?) so I decided to check out Amazon reviews. And I came across this response to a review:
Amazon.com: adnaper "adnaper"'s review of Last Writes (Jaine Austen Mysteries)
Finally someone called out another on prasing Joanne Fluke. I see a lot of reviews for mysteries that are constantly comparing them to the Hannah Swenson series and how nothing is as great and blah blah blah and I'm like what in the hell am I missing? The Hannah Swenson series is far from great. I don't understand why so many people put it on such a high pedestal. It's not that the writing is terrible (it isn't, for the most part). It's just Hannah and every character is so goddamn insufferable it just completely destroys any of the good side of it.
Showing posts with label Hannah Swenson Series. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hannah Swenson Series. Show all posts
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
Random Thoughts
I should be heading off to bed, but I just don't feel like it. Since all of this insomnia shit started, I don't look forward to bed as much as I used to. In fact, I am starting to dread it. But even if I don't want to go to sleep, I could read. But I don't want to do that either. I just started A Catered Christmas and out of all of the A Catered series, I don't recall Bernie and Libby annoying me as much as this book. I think 95% of the book is the two arguing with each other. And for 2 grown women, they argue over the stupidest shit! Good grief. STFU! Bernie needs to shove her know it all attitude up her ass and Libby needs to pull the stick out of her ass. Also, I still want an explanation as to how someone who works in a bakery can afford $500 Jimmy Choos.
And their father...well I can't decide whether I like him or not. On one hand, he is an insufferable old crank and that makes me laugh, especially when he loses his patience with his daughters. On the other hand, he is an insufferable old crank. And for the love of God, will Ms. Crawford reveal what is wrong with him already? Judging by the pattern of relapses and remissions, and that he has hand tremors, my guess is it could be MS, but I could be wrong.
However, these books are still significantly more tolerable than the Hannah Swenson series. But I do believe this may be my last one. I can't take the bickering.
I am not looking forward to this Thursday. Which is a shame, because I like the 4th of July. I complained Saturday about not wanting to go and my mom says that if I knew how to drive there, I could take my own car and leave when I want. But I don't want to do that. I don't want to go period! I want to go to this party about as much as I want to be go back to the crazy house!
Actually....I think I would rather do that.
And speaking of that side of the family, I remembered one day that my fat bitchy cousin bought a puppy a while back and then she didn't like taking care of it. So she gave it to another cousin. I loathe people that do that and since I already loathe that bitch, now I super loathe her. Do people think taking care of an animal is easy or something? And unless someone has a major animal allergy or the animal turns into a vicious monster that eats people's faces, there is no reason to get rid of an animal. To me, once it is there, it's family. Most people won't get rid of their children if they find it too hard or to expensive. So why do it to a poor defenseless animal?
The day my other cousin posted that they had my bitchy cousin's dog now, I was going to post a status that said "there is a special place in hell for people who get rid of an animal because they are too self-absorbed to take care of it anymore", but that would have been the day everyone decided to pay attention to my status (I post so rarely that when I do, I don't think anyone even notices).
Before I ever started reading ONTD, I was never aware that there are people who actually worship models. It kind of astounded me when I came across it. It is kind of weird. I don't pay attention to fashion much- although judging by what I see in public, I apparently pay more attention to fashion than the average American; LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS, PEOPLE- but I never understand how some of the big name models are so popular. Most of them are pretty unattractive and/or nothing special. Like I don't get the fascination with Miranda Kerr. Sure, her body is nice, but that face. She looks like someone cut a toddler's head off and stuck it on an adult body. It's usually the ones who are relatively unknown that are attractive.
I was giving an opportunity to apply for a job last week. I wasn't thrilled about the actual job itself, since I had done that kind of work before and sometimes it was not pleasant, but I liked the hours and it offered benefits. I emailed the manager for an application and she told me that several people had inquired about it. As soon as I saw that, I knew I had no chance of getting it. I filled out the application anyway, but it's been almost a week and I haven't heard anything. It's so frustrating. Being unemployed really blows. Not getting jobs because you are unemployed blows even more. Feeling suicidal is a pretty normal feeling for me, but it's things like this that make me understand why unemployment offices put up suicide hotline posters.
And their father...well I can't decide whether I like him or not. On one hand, he is an insufferable old crank and that makes me laugh, especially when he loses his patience with his daughters. On the other hand, he is an insufferable old crank. And for the love of God, will Ms. Crawford reveal what is wrong with him already? Judging by the pattern of relapses and remissions, and that he has hand tremors, my guess is it could be MS, but I could be wrong.
However, these books are still significantly more tolerable than the Hannah Swenson series. But I do believe this may be my last one. I can't take the bickering.
I am not looking forward to this Thursday. Which is a shame, because I like the 4th of July. I complained Saturday about not wanting to go and my mom says that if I knew how to drive there, I could take my own car and leave when I want. But I don't want to do that. I don't want to go period! I want to go to this party about as much as I want to be go back to the crazy house!
Actually....I think I would rather do that.
And speaking of that side of the family, I remembered one day that my fat bitchy cousin bought a puppy a while back and then she didn't like taking care of it. So she gave it to another cousin. I loathe people that do that and since I already loathe that bitch, now I super loathe her. Do people think taking care of an animal is easy or something? And unless someone has a major animal allergy or the animal turns into a vicious monster that eats people's faces, there is no reason to get rid of an animal. To me, once it is there, it's family. Most people won't get rid of their children if they find it too hard or to expensive. So why do it to a poor defenseless animal?
The day my other cousin posted that they had my bitchy cousin's dog now, I was going to post a status that said "there is a special place in hell for people who get rid of an animal because they are too self-absorbed to take care of it anymore", but that would have been the day everyone decided to pay attention to my status (I post so rarely that when I do, I don't think anyone even notices).
Before I ever started reading ONTD, I was never aware that there are people who actually worship models. It kind of astounded me when I came across it. It is kind of weird. I don't pay attention to fashion much- although judging by what I see in public, I apparently pay more attention to fashion than the average American; LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS, PEOPLE- but I never understand how some of the big name models are so popular. Most of them are pretty unattractive and/or nothing special. Like I don't get the fascination with Miranda Kerr. Sure, her body is nice, but that face. She looks like someone cut a toddler's head off and stuck it on an adult body. It's usually the ones who are relatively unknown that are attractive.
I was giving an opportunity to apply for a job last week. I wasn't thrilled about the actual job itself, since I had done that kind of work before and sometimes it was not pleasant, but I liked the hours and it offered benefits. I emailed the manager for an application and she told me that several people had inquired about it. As soon as I saw that, I knew I had no chance of getting it. I filled out the application anyway, but it's been almost a week and I haven't heard anything. It's so frustrating. Being unemployed really blows. Not getting jobs because you are unemployed blows even more. Feeling suicidal is a pretty normal feeling for me, but it's things like this that make me understand why unemployment offices put up suicide hotline posters.
Friday, May 24, 2013
Why Am I Wasting My Time?
I swore the last Hannah Swensen book I read would be my last. Yet I decided to check out Cinnamon Roll Murder last night at the library. I see nothing has changed in the series.
The jazz band name- Cinnamon Roll Six? Seriously?
The entire family started irritating me throughout the series and now they are downright obnoxious. Um, isn't Michelle in college? Shouldn't she be in class? And what exactly does Andrea do all damn day that she is never around her kids? Hannah is the worst. She is a judgmental, arrogant, condescending, whiny pain in the ass who needs to get off of her high horse, stop correcting everyone's damn grammar, and start learning some fucking technology. I find it incredibly difficult for someone of her age to never use a computer, especially having a degree in English. How did she get through college? A typewriter? Seriously? Come on, Joanne Fluke, be a little more believable. I honestly think she is completely clueless to the later generations.
In the first few pages, of course the sisters are there to help with the accident. And of course they know exactly what to do. And when they meet the band members and groupies, the sisters are talking with one of the groupies, Lynnette, about checking the driver and this is the passage:
And then the scene in the hospital was just too ridiculous to get into. Buddy couldn't go into the exam room himself? And I had to laugh at two different conversations between Hannah and her mother in the waiting room. This passage was one:
Hannah's constant whining about Norman being engaged was beyond irritating. Yes, the situation with Doctor Bev was dirty, but maybe if Hannah didn't drag her feet so bad, she would have been married to Norman a long time ago. How this supposedly ugly technological phobic prude has two boyfriends still boggles my mind. And I find it hard to believe that it took Norman, a fucking professional with a dental degree, so long to get a paternity test. What a dumbass.
And the thing that aggravates me the most in these books is the interfering with cases. Now I read a lot of books where the main character investigates, despite not being a part of the police force. It does irritate me, but if the books are good enough, I can overlook it, because I know it's just fiction. I can even sometimes overlook certain things that would be deemed downright illegal. But these books take the cake. Hannah and her family are ridiculous with how they interfere. And then they have the BALLS to actually steal documents that not one of them should even have legal access to. I don't know how none of them have ever been arrested. Oh right. One of Hannah's boyfriends is a cop. *eyeroll* You would think that would make them more likely to be arrested. But no. Not the perfect little Swensen family. Everything just always turns out perfect for them.
I recently read a few of the Donut Shop Mystery series by Jessica Beck and one thing I noticed when reading reviews of the different books were complaints about them being rip-offs of the Hannah Swensen series. I see some similarities; however, the characters in the Donut Shop Mysteries are a million times more likable. Not to mention......mmmm.....donuts.
Oh, and nice to end the book without ever closing the bus driver's case.
The jazz band name- Cinnamon Roll Six? Seriously?
The entire family started irritating me throughout the series and now they are downright obnoxious. Um, isn't Michelle in college? Shouldn't she be in class? And what exactly does Andrea do all damn day that she is never around her kids? Hannah is the worst. She is a judgmental, arrogant, condescending, whiny pain in the ass who needs to get off of her high horse, stop correcting everyone's damn grammar, and start learning some fucking technology. I find it incredibly difficult for someone of her age to never use a computer, especially having a degree in English. How did she get through college? A typewriter? Seriously? Come on, Joanne Fluke, be a little more believable. I honestly think she is completely clueless to the later generations.
In the first few pages, of course the sisters are there to help with the accident. And of course they know exactly what to do. And when they meet the band members and groupies, the sisters are talking with one of the groupies, Lynnette, about checking the driver and this is the passage:
"Did you try to find a pulse?" Michelle asked her.Seriously, Hannah? Do tell how you know exactly what Lynnette did in the medical office! Maybe she was a medical assistant, who do, in fact, have to be CPR certified in most, if not all, states. And what exactly does Hannah do again? Oh, right. She is a baker! She makes food!
"Do I look like an idiot? Sure I tried to find a pulse. There wasn't any, and he wasn't breathing, either. I've got some medical training, you know."
Of course you do, Hannah's mind replied. You know how to say "Doctor will see you at ten on Thursday, Mrs. Smith. Please let us know twenty-four hours in advance if you can't keep your appointment.
And then the scene in the hospital was just too ridiculous to get into. Buddy couldn't go into the exam room himself? And I had to laugh at two different conversations between Hannah and her mother in the waiting room. This passage was one:
"It was the band bus carrying the Cinnamon Roll Six. The rest of the cars in the accident were blocking the road, and it took the paramedics a while to get to to the bus. Michelle and I took the access road and walked across the ditch. We were the first ones there."This is a page later:
"Oh my!"
"The driver's dead, but everyone else seems to be okay except the keyboard player. He may have a broken wrist, but they won't know for sure until he has X-rays."
"I know I'm right. And the worst of it is..." Delores stopped speaking and stared hard at Hannah. "You said was. You said the driver's name was Clayton."Uhm.....duh? You already told your mother the bus driver died?
It was Hannah's turn to sigh. She'd spoken without thinking, and now she was stuck. There was nothing for it but to tell Delores what she already suspected. "The driver's dead, Mother."
Hannah's constant whining about Norman being engaged was beyond irritating. Yes, the situation with Doctor Bev was dirty, but maybe if Hannah didn't drag her feet so bad, she would have been married to Norman a long time ago. How this supposedly ugly technological phobic prude has two boyfriends still boggles my mind. And I find it hard to believe that it took Norman, a fucking professional with a dental degree, so long to get a paternity test. What a dumbass.
And the thing that aggravates me the most in these books is the interfering with cases. Now I read a lot of books where the main character investigates, despite not being a part of the police force. It does irritate me, but if the books are good enough, I can overlook it, because I know it's just fiction. I can even sometimes overlook certain things that would be deemed downright illegal. But these books take the cake. Hannah and her family are ridiculous with how they interfere. And then they have the BALLS to actually steal documents that not one of them should even have legal access to. I don't know how none of them have ever been arrested. Oh right. One of Hannah's boyfriends is a cop. *eyeroll* You would think that would make them more likely to be arrested. But no. Not the perfect little Swensen family. Everything just always turns out perfect for them.
I recently read a few of the Donut Shop Mystery series by Jessica Beck and one thing I noticed when reading reviews of the different books were complaints about them being rip-offs of the Hannah Swensen series. I see some similarities; however, the characters in the Donut Shop Mysteries are a million times more likable. Not to mention......mmmm.....donuts.
Oh, and nice to end the book without ever closing the bus driver's case.
Friday, March 16, 2012
The Stupid Of The Day
I'm just starting to think Cracker Barrel's Facebook page is made up of trolls, because my god, for a Southern based company, it is full of some very rude and ignorant people. Whatever happened to Southern hospitality, eh? But then again, I have heard some unpleasant and very disappointing things about the founder of the company itself, so I shouldn't be too surprised.
Or just plain stupidity. I present the following:
Now judging by other comments left by this dope, I am starting to think he could possibly be trolling. Then again, maybe not. But seriously? First off, he has no idea what this particular person's political affiliation is. This might be difficult for someone of his caliber to comprehend, but believe it or not, just because a state votes blue, does not mean all of its residents do!
And second, WHAT IN THE HELL DOES SOMEONE'S POLITICAL AFFILIATION HAVE TO DO WITH THE FOODS THEY ENJOY? Okay, yes, a lot of liberals may go vegetarian and judging by pictures of Tea Partiers, they apparently like artery clogging fattening foods. So maybe there is something to one's choice in food in relation to their political affiliation. But I object to this because I fucking love Southern food. And I vote Democrat. So go suck eggs, Derek.
On another note, I had to drop books off at the library the other day and although I really wanted to quit the series after Cream Puff Murder, I broke down and checked out 3 more Hannah Swensen series books. Do you know why? Because I realized I love reading the 3 star or less reviews on Amazon and Good Reads way too much to give them up. And no, I cannot just read the reviews without reading the books. I already thought of just doing that, but then I realized I have to know what the reviewers are referring to in their reviews!
I also was getting ready to check out when I walked by the music section and I saw they had a copy of- fanfare- Oracular Spectacular. So I checked it out and listened to it on the way to the unemployment office today. I felt like I was on a psychedelic trip. It was awesome, especially after the irritating workshop I attended. I am already highly addicted to "Weekend Wars".
Or just plain stupidity. I present the following:
Now judging by other comments left by this dope, I am starting to think he could possibly be trolling. Then again, maybe not. But seriously? First off, he has no idea what this particular person's political affiliation is. This might be difficult for someone of his caliber to comprehend, but believe it or not, just because a state votes blue, does not mean all of its residents do!
And second, WHAT IN THE HELL DOES SOMEONE'S POLITICAL AFFILIATION HAVE TO DO WITH THE FOODS THEY ENJOY? Okay, yes, a lot of liberals may go vegetarian and judging by pictures of Tea Partiers, they apparently like artery clogging fattening foods. So maybe there is something to one's choice in food in relation to their political affiliation. But I object to this because I fucking love Southern food. And I vote Democrat. So go suck eggs, Derek.
On another note, I had to drop books off at the library the other day and although I really wanted to quit the series after Cream Puff Murder, I broke down and checked out 3 more Hannah Swensen series books. Do you know why? Because I realized I love reading the 3 star or less reviews on Amazon and Good Reads way too much to give them up. And no, I cannot just read the reviews without reading the books. I already thought of just doing that, but then I realized I have to know what the reviewers are referring to in their reviews!
I also was getting ready to check out when I walked by the music section and I saw they had a copy of- fanfare- Oracular Spectacular. So I checked it out and listened to it on the way to the unemployment office today. I felt like I was on a psychedelic trip. It was awesome, especially after the irritating workshop I attended. I am already highly addicted to "Weekend Wars".
Friday, March 9, 2012
Same Structure, Different Storyline Murder
I have been reading the Hannah Swenson series by Joanne Fluke off and on over the past several months. Currently I am on book #9, Key Lime Murder, and I have two more books checked out, but I am not even sure if I want to read them. Why?
1. The main character is getting increasingly irritating, especially with the constant grammar correcting, regardless of whether it is in her head or outloud. She gets mad at people for the dumbest reasons, like in this book, she gets pissed off at Norman and Mike for discussing details of the death of the victim in front of her. Oh, my bad, Willa. Don't call her "victim" because it's insulting to Hannah, since Willa is apparently her good buddy old pal, even though it seems to me that they don't even know each other that well.
2. The love triangle - come on. You're full grown adults. I almost want to say oh please go with Norman, but that poor man could do a lot better than wasting his time waiting for some stupid technologically impaired apparently unattractive frizzy red head yet has two guys fighting over her that can't make up her mind which man she wants even though the answer is so obvious it could hit her in the face.
3. The two men being friends with each other? Give me a break.
4. Word repetitiveness- I just finished part of a chapter and it was mentioned multiple times about Michelle being her youngest sister. We got it. Like the first time it was mentioned in the book. Back in chapter 2. This is just from this one chapter, chapter 14:
6. Speaking of, does Andrea ever actually take care of her two brats?
7. And probably the most annoying thing of all - Hannah is the only person who ever comes across the dead bodies. And only once was a suspect?
8. And she is the only one capable of ever solving cases. Could someone in real life ever get away with as much interfering in murder cases as she does?
9. How is no one in that town about 400 pounds?
10. Tracey, the niece and one of Andrea's brats, is annoying as well. I despise the whole precocious child thing in a lot of books I read. Kids are annoying enough as it is. Making them act and talk like little adults only increases the annoyance.
11. I have a very hard time believing someone from what I presume is or right before my generation could be so technologically stupid. She can't even use a computer? Or a cellphone? Come on! Even my extremely technologically-retarded mother knows more about technology than Hannah!
I have a proposition for Ms. Fluke. What I would like to see happen is for both men to break up with Hannah at the same exact time. Have them both come and tell her they tired of her little games and that she is pathetic and they are both done. Then she'll probably lose her freaking mind and go on a murderous rampage. Then she will "find out" these people have been missing and she will go pretend to stumble across the bodies as usual with her new dessert nearby, pretend to investigate and find all kinds of clues to divert her from being a suspect, Mike finally grows a brain and Norman finally grows a set and they both figure out Hannah is the killer, and then she is thrown into jail. Ta-da! End of series!
And don't poke holes in my suggested premise. After all, this is the same book series that tries to say that Atlantic City is 2 hours ahead of Minnesota. Uh, no it is not.
1. The main character is getting increasingly irritating, especially with the constant grammar correcting, regardless of whether it is in her head or outloud. She gets mad at people for the dumbest reasons, like in this book, she gets pissed off at Norman and Mike for discussing details of the death of the victim in front of her. Oh, my bad, Willa. Don't call her "victim" because it's insulting to Hannah, since Willa is apparently her good buddy old pal, even though it seems to me that they don't even know each other that well.
2. The love triangle - come on. You're full grown adults. I almost want to say oh please go with Norman, but that poor man could do a lot better than wasting his time waiting for some stupid technologically impaired apparently unattractive frizzy red head yet has two guys fighting over her that can't make up her mind which man she wants even though the answer is so obvious it could hit her in the face.
3. The two men being friends with each other? Give me a break.
4. Word repetitiveness- I just finished part of a chapter and it was mentioned multiple times about Michelle being her youngest sister. We got it. Like the first time it was mentioned in the book. Back in chapter 2. This is just from this one chapter, chapter 14:
"Morning," Hannah said, spotting her youngest sister at the table the moment she entered her gleaming white cooking and baking domain5. Delores, her mother, is annoying. She reminds of those annoying old hags that can't accept that they are old, so they try to look and act young. And also like she is old money high class society. And the middle sister, Andrea is so fucking vain. Oh no! She found a gray hair!
The sense of good humor her youngest sister has served along with her delicious omelet was short lived.
Hannah glanced at Michelle. Her youngest sister was holding Moishe in her lap while she chuckled silently.
6. Speaking of, does Andrea ever actually take care of her two brats?
7. And probably the most annoying thing of all - Hannah is the only person who ever comes across the dead bodies. And only once was a suspect?
8. And she is the only one capable of ever solving cases. Could someone in real life ever get away with as much interfering in murder cases as she does?
9. How is no one in that town about 400 pounds?
10. Tracey, the niece and one of Andrea's brats, is annoying as well. I despise the whole precocious child thing in a lot of books I read. Kids are annoying enough as it is. Making them act and talk like little adults only increases the annoyance.
11. I have a very hard time believing someone from what I presume is or right before my generation could be so technologically stupid. She can't even use a computer? Or a cellphone? Come on! Even my extremely technologically-retarded mother knows more about technology than Hannah!
I have a proposition for Ms. Fluke. What I would like to see happen is for both men to break up with Hannah at the same exact time. Have them both come and tell her they tired of her little games and that she is pathetic and they are both done. Then she'll probably lose her freaking mind and go on a murderous rampage. Then she will "find out" these people have been missing and she will go pretend to stumble across the bodies as usual with her new dessert nearby, pretend to investigate and find all kinds of clues to divert her from being a suspect, Mike finally grows a brain and Norman finally grows a set and they both figure out Hannah is the killer, and then she is thrown into jail. Ta-da! End of series!
And don't poke holes in my suggested premise. After all, this is the same book series that tries to say that Atlantic City is 2 hours ahead of Minnesota. Uh, no it is not.
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