The Awesome/Tweet Of The Day

First off, Mom did fine with her surgery!

And then....this:

Man crush Monday https://t.co/a5DfalxHa2
— MMGGMMTT (@whoisMGMT) February 24, 2014

Andrew tweeting a Kids in the Hall video? I think I just died and went to heaven.

Video Of The Day

A scene from the best movie on earth:

The WTF Of The Day

40 strangest rock star rider requests

Since when are some of these people considered "rock stars"? To even call some of these people "singers" is really stretching it, let alone rock stars.

Some of those requests are indeed strange. And a little funny. And some are just downright ridiculous. And do you notice how the more diva-ish the demands, the less talent the entertainer has? You want your coffee stirred anticlockwise, Miss I'm Still Jenny From the Block? Oh, you will get your anticlockwise-stirred coffee.....right after I take a nice long piss in it.

Now I want to watch Brain Candy. "Is that cappuccino ever gonna be ready, or do I have to come in there and grind the beans with your head?" God, what a great movie.

The Bitch, Please Of The Day!

Oh you thought you finally heard enough of him on here, eh? Nah! He may have been dethroned (and which I offer my apologies for all of that; I don't know what the hell I was thinking, although I still do suspect I was going through a bit of mania during that time, because once the mania ended, the rest followed suit), but that doesn't mean I still won't enjoy making fun of him:

Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino Slams 'Jersey Shore' Housemates Over Gay Implications

Ho, please. I leave you with this line from Brain Candy:

You are gay. You are a homosexual. The opposite of straight, you're gay. I know it. Your family knows it. DOGS know it! Everyone seems to know it except you.

Song Of The Day

A perfect description of my weekend:

Random Thoughts

Boo! It's Sunday! *blows loud raspberry*

I want any skinny people to tell me how they manage to stay warm in the winter months. I am so fucking cold and no matter what I do, I cannot get warm. I can barely recall the last time, with the exception of vacation in Myrtle Beach, when the words "I am so hot" came out of my mouth. It's not like I have no body fat, for God's sake. I had substantial bloodwork done in August ($855 worth!) and all come back in normal ranges, so I am not anemic or have a hypothyroid.

Ugh, everyone is getting on me about a Christmas list. I cannot think of absolutely anything I want and I have to come up with a birthday list as well! I have had this problem for a very long time. I am very anal about owning a lot of things, so it always makes it difficult to come up with a list. This is why I always laugh when people ask me if I ever feel like I get ripped off at the holidays. Noo. My only complaint is plenty of people seem to forget about my birthday.

I wish that spawn of Palin would STFU. It's bad enough we have to hear from Mommy Dearest constantly. Now her too? Like mother, like daughter. Defensive as shit, always flying off the handle yet never ONCE actually denying what they are being accused of. Reminds me of me. I do crap like that. And we all know I am fucking nuts.

I once was almost feeling sorry for her with all of the weight jokes being tossed around, but the way she was behaving the last few weeks, any sympathy flew out the window. How does someone spend so much time dancing and gain weight like that? I mean, look at me for example. I am a freak of nature. Do you know how some people will eat bad and then compensate by over exercising? I cannot compensate my bad eating with exercising. For some reason, if I go above 30 minutes of exercise, 5 days a week, I tend to hold weight or even gain weight. The summer of 2009, I went through a brief period where I was doing that. I am talking a little bit of overeating and spending an hour or more exercising because I felt so horrible and guilty for overeating. And I actually gained weight! But I have never ballooned up like this bitch. The most I gained was 2 to 5 pounds and it might have been muscle for all I know. It takes an extra 3500 calories to gain a pound! How many calories a day was she consuming? About 20,000?

On a side note, I am very proud to say I have not engaged in any bulimic behavior since September. And I have actually lost weight! Huzzahs are in order!

Last week, some controversey blew up in Philly about the renaming of some wooden shack stores from "Christmas Village" to "Holiday Village" or something (I actually was there last year and I almost died of a heart attack on the spot when I came upon a stand that was literally bursting with nesting dolls) and then it concluded with the original name being kept. Yeah, I thought it was kind of stupid to change the name, but ugh, did the War On Christmas soldiers come charging out of the woodwork. I am beyond the point of being sick of hearing about this crap every year.

UGH! I wish everyone would just STFU.

I was reading the GQ article on the Sitch being the Burning Sensation of The Year, or whatever he was nominated for, and I came across a photo gallery and there was THIS. Two thoughts ran through my head- the first thing I thought was, dayum, does he have a penchant for tight pants or something? The second thing I thought was, what, no sock this time around, Mike?

*tilts head and leans closer to screen* I don't know; what do you all think? Was that definitely a sock in the last set of girl pants? I think it was.

Ha. He's all sweaty in that picture. Makes me think of the sketch from Kids In The Hall when the Chicken Lady and the Bearded Lady go to the strip club and Chicken Lady says "and I stuck a quarter in his belly button and it stayed there. Wanna know why? 'Cause he was sweaty" or something like that. Man, that was one of the BEST KITH sketches. My sister never even cracked a smile at any of the KITH sketches, but even she laughed at that one.

And I like how light conveniently shines across his chest and part of his abs. I half expected heavenly music to start blaring out of my computer speakers.

Photos - The Year in Us Weekly - September 27, 2010 - UsMagazine.com

Hey! Why do not I not recall ever seeing this issue in work? Oh. Right. Hm. I'll have to see if my local library has an issue so I can read about the Situation's "diva antics".

lol- diva antics. I'd love to know just how much of a drama queen that boy is.

Video Of The Day

How in the hell was I supposed to know?! One of the best Kids In The Hall sketches:

Faux Pas

I do not think that any of the other Kids could have played that part any better than Kevin McDonald. That voice just completely made everything. And Mark's catanonia at the end was fucking priceless. I laugh my ass off everytime I watch this sketch.

Quote Of The Day

From Kids In The Hall: Brain Candy, Dr. Chris Cooper (played by Kevin McDonald) on why he invented Gleemonex:

But people are supposed to be depressed sometimes! We invented the drug for people too depressed to get off the floor. Not because you missed your bus or you don't look good in a yellow hat. That's just wrong.

This movie was definitley on to something. Too bad the psychiatric world doesn't take this advice.

Kevin McDonald is pure genius. If I ever met him, I would probably just get down on my knees and bow to him.

Random Thoughts

I saw something on today that I haven't seen on in a while- Trigger Happy TV. I remember that used to always be on Comedy Central. I used to always laugh at the big telephone. Of course, when I found out that a million other people found it funny as well, it lost its humor value. Is it me or do things always seem to lose their humor when a lot of people find it funny? I thought that Stains the dog thing on The Soup was hilarious until it started to pop up on every single webpage I visited. Why do channels stop playing shows? I wish CC would bring back Kids In The Hall.

Happy Mardi Gras! The AOL logo must have showed it's boobs off today. It has beads. See?!

I just walked out in the kitchen where my mom has Oprah on and the father of the octuplet mom is on. He doesn't understand why people are focusing on the negatives. Really? You don't understand why? Un-fucking-believable. The American people are outraged because our tax dollars are going to this delusional selfish cow who is using the money to fatten up her lips and for manicures. Not to mention many of us would like to know how she paid for IVF and how can someone with such a bad back be able to carry 8 babies. This bitch is delusional beyond belief to think that obtaining her masters degree is 1. automatically going to get her a job and 2. going to give her a job that pays enough to cover the care of 14 children. Too bad. If this was Idiocracy, she would be declared an unfit mother and the children would probably be taken away and placed in the custody of Carl's Jr.

Is a day ever going to come again when irresponsibility stops being rewarded? Why are none of my irresponsible actions ever rewarded? Am I not irresponsible enough or something?

Speaking of irresponsibility, each day that goes by, I get more and more tempted to just pack everything up and move. I am completely and utterly bored with my life and even going back to work is not going to solve the problem. I want change and since suicide seems to be out of the question, I want to get out of here and just start over somewhere.

I need to call back about the call center job I mentioned before. I can't let this slip through, but I feel like I am being punched in the stomach every time I think about calling. And trying to talk to someone about how fearful I am is useless because they just do not get it. No matter how many times I tell myself that I shouldn't take getting screamed at personally, that I am surely not the first or the last to get screamed at on the phone, it still does not help. One of the worst things to do is to just give in to the social anxiety, but I can't just throw myself into a high contact social situation either, unless I would like to experience another mental breakdown again.

I have been in a horrible rut the past few days. I sleep about 10 hours and barely can get up when the time comes. My head feels like its stuck in the mud and I am exhausted the entire day, yet when I finally climb into bed, my mind starts running and I toss and turn for over an hour. I just want to climb into bed, pull the covers over my head and never leave. I am starting to get the same feeling I had after I got out of the hospital- just say the hell with life and go to a psychiatric hospital for the rest of my life. I'm done with this life thing.

Quote Of The Day

From the cab driver (Mark McKinney) in Brain Candy:

I don't like the world now. I mean, before I always knew I was a son of a bitch, but now I'm the only son of a bitch I know.