Commercial Rants

I can't even remember at this point the last time I saw my commercial. Weird. I don't even see the other commercials for the product, either. Guess they stopped playing them.

What is the deal with the Cinnamon Toast Crunch commercials? I know General Mills is trying to sell how delicious CTC is, but those little cannibalistic squares are creepy.

The IHOP summer pancake commercial.....HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT CANNOLI IS?

It was bad enough in the Tide commercial with the mother having to pronounce karate stupidly, but now there is one where the father has to pronounce in that same stupid way.

Why in pharmaceutical pimping commercials do the people always talk about their moderate to severe [insert condition]? Who talks like that? I never talk about my moderate to severe OCD, because for one I don't like to refer to it as "my" (I didn't ask for it) and two it just sounds silly. I prefer to refer to it as the more appropriately named HELL.

Whenever I watch Nick in the morning, there is always this commercial for Ring Pops with some shitty pop band and the girl singer is wearing a shirt that says "Girls rule, boys drool". If you're over 12 years old and wearing a shirt that says that, you need to check your life. And the Payless BOGO commercial I just saw- if you're over the age of 15 and using the term "bestie", you need to check your life. That goes for "BFF" as well. I feel so much second hand embarrassment whenever I see talk shows on in the morning and the anchors/hosts are using the term "BFF".

And speaking of second hand embarrassment, I was just on that Tartlr page I talked about and she posted a few things last night about Andrew and his girlfriend breaking up. She apparently "heard" that his ex cheated but she doesn't think that is true and then posted all of this creepy stuff about following her and the rest of the band's girlfriends on Instagram. And then this is the best part- she gets super pissed when people ask her about it. Uh, you're the one that is invested in it. Yeah, I'll admit that I am curious why they broke up and who broke up with who, but I am ridiculous anyway. Besides, no matter how much I think the sun shines out his ass, if she really broke up with him, I don't feel sorry for Andrew. Well, maybe a little, but that's what happens when you become famous and decide you will only date girls who otherwise wouldn't look at you twice if you weren't famous. Also, never forget this:

It was the night before your show in Berlin in 2010. It’s like a long, awkward chess match of non sequiturs. You can watch it on YouTube.

BG: I’ve never seen that! We were hanging out with Will Carruthers from Spectrum and Spacemen 3, and I know he’s a friend of Anton’s, but I had no idea that took place.

Andrew VanWyngarden: Yeah, well, Anton’s a pretty far out dude. His girlfriend was in the 8mm Bar, which we happened to pass by, and she came over and was like, “You want to come upstairs to meet Anton?” and so I followed her. His apartment is pretty crazy—I guess you can see it in the video. A lot of cigarette butts everywhere, and guitars too. I’d seen Dig!, and I had met him already at the Accelerator Festival in Stockholm and was aware of his demeanor that’s kind of shape shifting and a little bit wild or something. I had been out to dinner with my ex-girlfriend and then we went to that bar. I actually kind of forgot it happened.

I was at the show the night after and that was the first time I’d seen you live. I remember having the impression that you somehow wanted to break free from the crowd’s expectations but you couldn’t. You seemed almost despondent onstage…

AVW: I broke up with my ex-girlfriend the day of that show. It was very dramatic and awful. I literally bought her a ticket home and then walked onstage, so I think there was some weird emotional stuff happening.

All I can say is I hope she did something pretty awful to deserve that kind of break-up.

And then earlier today she posted something about musicians from the past stealing from POC. God, Tartlr is such a fucking embarrassment. Why is it such a cesspool for "social justice warriors"? Do these people really think they are doing something by bitching and whining on Tartlr?

And why is it white people are always the loudest and most obnoxious of the "social justice warrior" movement? Sit down, white hipster girl.

Random Thoughts

Every time I think commercials can't possibly get any stupider, a new one comes out and proves me wrong. The past couple days I keep seeing these commercials for Poise pantiliners, where this lady goes on about how her SAM lasts for hours and is in her pants right now. Even the lady she is talking to is looking at her like bitch please stop talking to me. I get second hand embarrassment every time I see it. I also hate that Tide commercial (I think that is what it is for) where the Lea Michele look-alike (which makes it extra punchable) talks about her daughter signing up for karate. But she can't just say karate. She has to say it with this stupid accent. GRRR.

I keep thinking about how I want to go to someone to talk to, like a therapist. Of course, I am much too lazy to actually get out searching for one, mostly because I know it's going to be a long arduous process of 1) finding someone I can trust and 2) finding someone who I will be willing to be open with. It's kind of sad that I can't even talk to the one group of people I should most be able to- my family. Instead, I just bottle everything up in me, probably creating an environment more toxic than Chernobyl. Well, essentially a good percentage of things I have never discussed in real life are discussed on here. So for the few people who may actually read this stupid blog, you know more about what goes on in my head and tortures me daily than my own loved ones do.