Random Thoughts

Ugh, I am having a really bad flare-up with my digestive system the past few days. I don't know if it's due to the abrupt change in my schedule or what, but I just can't even deal with it. I am extremely bloated, I have heartburn out the wazoo, and I have pains all across my back. It astonishes me how horrible I can feel just from not going to the bathroom for 3 days.

And speaking of not wanting to deal, drama is already starting in work. It's so damn annoying. Already I am having to hear complaints of favoritism, etc. I always wondered back when I worked there before if anyone ever complained about me behind my back about being shown favortism. I was never outwardly shown favoritism, but if I requested PTO or anything, I was never given a hard time like my coworkers. But do you know why that is? Because I came in on time, I left when I was supposed to, I rarely called out, I took exactly a half hour lunch like I was supposed to, I didn't socialize all of the damn time, and I did my job without bitching and moaning. And with the exception of wearing flip flops in the summer and one time during a snow storm I came in wearing yoga pants and a fleece, I always abided by the dress code. My manager told me she has gotten strict about it and even made a dig at my FWA about how she dresses. Yet she comes in the next day wearing fucking velour sweatpants and an Eagles hoodie. So much for enforcing it.

I am going to take a guess that it has something to do with being pregnant, although what her excuse was before for dressing like ghetto trash, I don't know. Because there aren't plenty of dressy maternity clothes out there, but I guess when you don't have money but are so desperate to shit out a kid, then your choice of clothing is drastically limited. It still does not excuse it.

So much has changed and yet nothing has changed in that place. And Friday was so hectic, since someone had the bright idea to bring me in during the end of the month when budgets need to be met and our superiors are at their most sadistic-iest, I ended up doing my old work. I can't even tell you how happy that made me. I was happier than a pig in shit. I honestly loved my old job. I could not have come in at a worst possible time, when shit is backed-up due to staff shortages, which in turn is going to put a lot of pressure on me to learn as quickly as possible, which is going to stress me out and then I will start worrying that I am going to make mistakes and get fired, which will stress me out even more. I have to already start dreading opening my email every day that I am going to have an email reaming me out for some dumb mistake. I have to worry about our superiors nitpicking some dumb shit. I already feel like saying fuck this.

I made coffee in work on Friday and when I picked up the pot, I was appalled. I swear, that thing looked like it hadn't been washed since I worked there. It was disgusting. I was the only one who ever washed the pot and filter when I used to make coffee. Everyone else would just rinse it out and make new coffee. Why do people have issues with washing coffee pots?

Boy, I am not looking forward to this week. It's my first full week of work in almost 2 years. I was a little surprised at how well I took going back to work on Wednesday, though. I thought I would be a lot more upset about it. I just wish my digestive system would straighten itself out. I know I said before that no matter what I am going to stick with the Spring Valley acidophilus pills, but I am considering trying those Walgreen's brand probiotics again. I never reacted badly to them. At least not like those other ones. Those were awful. Just too many different strains, I guess.

I don't know why I was thinking about this, but I was on Chili's Facebook page one day and some lady was complaining that she was in a Chili's with her autistic child and the loud music was bothering the kid and the employees would not lower the volume. Let me get this straight- she takes her child who has trouble with loud noises to a bar and grill, places known to be loud, and expects the establishment to cater to her? I'm sorry, what? I don't know about any other Chili's, but the one I go to is extremely noisy. Get the fuck out of here, lady. This would be like me going to the Electric Factory in December and bitching that the concert was too loud and too crowded. Which let's be real, I probably will. But I still know what I am getting into. If you know your kid has difficulty with loud noises, why in the hell would you take him to a bar and grill?

Ugh, stupid people. And dammit, now I really want Chili's.

Random Thoughts

Since the CT shooting, there is still repeated talks of better mental health awareness, that the stigma needs to stop so people will be more willing to get treatment. And yet some of the shit I see on the internet, the stigma is getting worse and worse. I've seen people say that either come right out and say or passive-aggressively imply that all mentally ill people are dangerous. I've seen people say that mentally ill people should be rounded up and put into Hunger Games like situations. Yeah, this kind of stuff is really going to persuade someone who already feels like a leper for being mentally ill want to get help.

I'm so tired of the stereotype that mentally ill people are dangerous. Are all dangerous people mentally disturbed? Probably. But not all mentally disturbed people are dangerous.

I will never understand how someone can take a life. I really don't. And so brutally too.

But onto a happier topic....it's my birthday! Yay!*

*not really

Facebook was sucko when I went on. I had two notifications, and received one while I was scrolling through. And speaking of scrolling, have I ever mentioned how much I hate infinite scroll? Normally I'd have a lot more notifications than that. I know it's only stupid Facebook and I shouldn't give a shit, but it's kind of depressing the hell out of me.

At least I had a decent day yesterday. I did go to see the Hobbit and luckily the theater wasn't real crowded. It was good, just as I expected. I just wish I could remember where in the hell my copy of the book is. I want to read it again. The previews before the movie were pretty stupid. I'd say 95% of them were about alien attacks and they were loud as shit. I can't with these loud ass movies anymore, and I can't with these apocalypse movies either. If it's not some shitty remake or sequel, it's an end of the world movie. Enough is enough. Find some news ideas already. But anyway, then I went to Chili's for dinner. I love Chili's. They really have good chicken fingers. Of course I feel like crap from it. I know I shouldn't eat corn, but I still do. It was so good, though!

And on top of feeling crappy, those damn birth control pills are making me so nauseous! Last night I felt so sick I was about to go in and make myself throw up just to get rid of some of the nausea. At least when I got on the scale on Friday, I was still within my weight allowance (I was about 123 pounds. And pretty bloated). But these pills are taking all of the fun out of eating because I am so worried about gaining weight. And I do notice I keep getting very emotional. I heard some story about a priest who was attacked and robbed the other night in Philly and it made me feel so bad I almost started to cry. Especially when someone said that the priest had tears pouring down his face from being maced. He wasn't even necessarily crying, but I felt sympathetic tears. Might explain why I am feeling so depressed right now. I don't want to be on these damn pills!

Meh. I'll go make my day better by listening to my kings. That sounds like a good way to spend my birthday. Only thing that could make it better is if Andrew was one of my birthday gifts. And I would love for him to pop out of a cake looking just like this.