The Awesome Of The Day

Mid summer morning MGMT update: been working hard (for us) this year...another recording session begins next week!

— MGMT (@whoisMGMT) July 30, 2016

it seems we have settled on an album title. BUT we can tell you that another time.

— MGMT (@whoisMGMT) July 30, 2016

Random Thoughts

So update on my digestive issues (not that anyone cares)- I stopped the Miralax, upped Peri-Colace intake, had some success and was back to an acceptable 123, 124 pounds on the scale last Saturday. Was doing okay but now I'm feeling miserable again. Of course I ended up getting my period sooner than I expected (which is good, because I'm going down the shore for a few days soon and won't have to worry about it coming now) so that might be contributing to it, but I'm worried that this is going to be an ongoing thing. And if it is, what is causing it? And for the love of God, how can I get it to go away??

I suspected all of the past week that my period was coming. For one, that one Saturday I had a bout of really heavy discharge and usually it comes about two weeks after that occurs. And two, I was so drained feeling and miserable that I kept thinking, there is no way it's not coming soon. And sure enough, it graced me with its presence on Friday morning.

And I should know that when I want to rip my coworkers' faces off more than usual that I'm due for it. And Thursday I was really feeling it. My FWA comes strolling in at 10. My manager says nothing to anyone about her coming in late and considering the stupid bitch is our front desk person, I think my manager kind of should let people know. But it's not like it's the first time she's lacked communicating with her employees about things. But this is the best part- not only does my FWA come in at 10, a few minutes later I hear her go out with the rest of the smokers for their 10 o'clock smoke break. Barely even the fucking door and she feels entitled to take her break still. And then not even two hours later, they're out on another one.

And would my manager say anything to her? No. She was right out on the smoke break with them. Them two are so fucking chummy with each other it's disgusting. You're her manager, you stupid bitch! She is your employee! Not your fucking BFF!

Don't get me wrong- I'm glad to finally have a manager who doesn't spaz out over stupid shit like, but my God, this one has less cojones than my old one.

Random Thoughts

I had my period while I was on vacation. Usually within a week or so after it ends, my mood stabilizes (well, what could be considered stable for me). It's almost two weeks since it ended and I'm still a miserable, irritable, depressed bitch. What in the hell is wrong with me?

I'll tell you what isn't helping- this bloating. It's certainly making me miserable beyond belief. Was still about 127, 128 pounds on the scale yesterday. I pulled my stomach in and my lower abdomen was significantly more distended, especially on the left side. And it's a lot harder if you press on my lower left side. I have rumbling, am able to pass gas, nausea but no vomiting, and my appetite is more than fine, so I doubt I have a blockage. But I'm definitely feeling pretty, um, clogged.  I was able to actually go some yesterday and I felt marginally better, but obviously nothing to sing about it.

And I'd love to take a full stimulant laxative (hell, at this point I'm ready to do a colonoscopy prep) to get everything out, but the last time I took them, I had a rather unpleasant experience afterwards for two plus weeks. And I'm afraid of having that problem again if I take them.

I also mentioned on Friday how I had a pulling pain in my lower right pelvic area. Well on Saturday I had one instance of a very heavy amount of discharge. Not sure if there is any connection with that. (e.g. mittelschmerz or whatever).

My God, I'm starting to sound like an old person.

Random Thoughts

One week later, still bloated beyond belief. Still having constipation. Super nauseous. I'm so damn miserable. I finally decided to try doing an enema last night and obviously didn't help, otherwise I wouldn't be here bitching still. I JUST WANT TO PROPERLY GO! 

I wish I knew if there was any link to my hormones behind it. I've been having cramping and heavy discharge all this week. Off and on tonight, I've been getting this annoying pulling pain above the bikini line on the right side. I'm wondering if I could possibly have a cyst.

I'm also very unhappy with the scale. I was about 127 when I got on this morning. And of course all I keep worrying about is the numbers are going to keep going up and nothing will be able to stop it, or my Prozac finally decided to say fuck it and make me start gaining weight.