Picture Of The Day

The Hurricane Irene Edition!









































Memes aside....I'm fucking scared out of my mind. Every time I worry about something, when that worry goes away and the next one slides into place, 99% of the time I'd rather be worrying about the previous one. I would rather be worrying about my foot right now.

Random Thoughts

I mentioned in my last posting that when I woke up Saturday morning, my father had left to go down the shore. He didn't come home until today. I can't say anyone really missed him.

I am trying to hold off calling the doctor's to find out the results of my bone scan, but frankly, I am going out of my mind. I am terrified to find out what they are, but at the same time, I need to know! It's been bothering me again a little today. Still no pain walking and no pain touching it or anything, but sitting here, the inner part feels like it's inflamed and tingling and I keep getting a mild shooting pain on the very outer edge. My outer ankle, and later front of ankle, had some discomfort walking earlier, almost like it was stuck or something and needed to unstick.

All I want to know is that it is not some type of injury, like a fracture or something. And while I certainly don't want anything wrong with me, if it were to come back I had arthritis or something of that nature, I think I would feel some relief. Because if it comes back normal, I don't think it will be the end of my anxiety. And I will be right back at the doctors, although this time it will be with a podiatrist. And more money out of my pocket, since I am sure I just wiped out the rest of my HRA fund. I still keep getting the nagging wonder of whether this could be tarsal tunnel syndrome, but I really have no idea. And if a podiatrist cannot find anything, then I am going to start feeling very unsettled that this is all a product of my mind and none of the pain really exists.

I was reading some article earlier about an disability advocacy group whining about Lady Gaga's latest performance and how they feel like she is trying glamorize disabilities. I'm sorry, I fail to see how dressing in a mermaid costume and sitting in a wheelchair is glamorizing a disability. Stupid? Yeah. But someone explain to me how this is glamorizing a disability.

I swear to God, you cannot please anyone in this stupid world anymore. Everyone wants to be treated the same, but are the first to bitch and moan when they think they are being made of fun or treated meanly. Wah wah wah! And because of whiny political correct asshole people like this, this is exactly why I have to make myself sick making sure That Thing never comes out. And why I have to feel so ashamed of it. These people whine they want to be treated the same, yet I have to feel shame for wanting to be one of them. I wish I could just say fuck them all and not care.

But we all know that is not ever going to happen.

I have made it very clear of how terribly depressed and shameful of this problem I am, but I also have a very unrelenting anger over it. Mostly over having to feel the way I do about it. And I also have a feeling that IF I did ever reveal it to anyone, it would lead to an argument. I just don't understand what the big fucking deal is. It doesn't hurt anyone else. It doesn't hurt those who have it. It doesn't hurt those who don't. THIS does not affect anyone but me!

I can't believe in the short span of time I spent sitting outside I managed to get eaten alive.

Stupidity, Thy Name Is Slightly Short Of Sane

FIRST BAD SUNBURN OF THE SUMMER

Random Thoughts

Two days of work down, two more to go. Do you know what I say to that?















I get my evaluation on Friday.















I was 4 pounds more this morning because my digestive system appears to not want to work again.






























Sorry. I am feeling picturesque today. Ragey picturesque. I wrote many things today followed by a FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU. I am so annoyed with my digestive system and I am back to wanting to rip it out of my abdomen. I am starting to wonder if this always seems to occur during ovulation time. I am always going to start writing everything down, but I still haven't.

I want to believe that the 4 pound weight gain is due to my digestive system because while yes, I was bad the entire weekend, I doubt I ate 14,000 EXTRA calories on top of what I normally eat. Hell, I doubt I even ate anywhere near 14,000 calories altogether between the 4 days combined. And I did ramp up my exercise all of those days (45 minutes instead of 30). I hope it's only due to my digestive system wanting to misbehave, but I am still freaking out over it.

I am not looking forward to getting my evaluation. I like to believe I am a good worker. My attendence is pretty much perfect- never late, never left early (except with pre-approved PTO usage), only one call out (three if you count two days when it was much too hazardous to drive and we were under STATE OF EMERGENCIES). I have never been scolded for talking too much (and have never once received the infamous too much chit chatting emails, except when they were sent to the entire office). Am I going to be worthy of a raise? I have no idea. I hope so. For one, I have been there almost 2 years. Two, I am doing almost a completely different job (and pretty much everyone else's) than when I started. Even if I only get as much of a raise as I did last year, it would be nice. I'd like more, of course, but right now I will take what I can get.

I am also not looking forward to my WA getting her performance. Because I will have to hear about it nonstop. I am sure something will be said about her talking and then I am going to have to hear about how everyone else gets away with it, why shouldn't she, oh she never leaves her desk except for no more than 10 minutes at the end of the day (I don't know how time runs in her little world that 40 minutes of talking is somehow 10 minutes; I have honest to God timed her before and she is generally back talking anywhere from 25 to 40 minutes or more), she's tired of all the double standards, and this, and that and *face palms, then bangs head repeatedly on desk*.

One of my FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUU moments was when I went to call my family doctor and get an appointment just to have my foot looked at. I called and asked for as late as possible appointment and I am told next Tuesday at 5:15. I can't do that and apparently that is the latest appointment they have for a while. What the fuck, man? Six freaking doctors and their hours are until like 8 almost every day. So now I still do not have an appointment with the doctor and I am going to lose my mind. The pain seems to have moved to just my big toe joint and I still only feel it once in a while, like if I attempt to do jumping jacks and even then, I might feel on the first or second jump and no more after that, or if I am coming down the stairs a certain way. It's not terrible, but it is annoying. But my foot just constantly feels like it needs to crack and I crack it and it relieves it temporarily and then I am back to where I started it.

I am just going nuts being a little more inactive than usual. I still am working out 5 days a week, but I am not getting up as much as I normally do and I am not dancing around like an idiot like I usually do. And it's depressing me not being as active. I love dancing. I suck at it, but it's so much fun. It makes me feel good. The first time I really listened to the lyrics of "Higher" by Taio Cruz- and we are all going to assume it is actually about dancing- I thought, wow, that is a perfect way to describe how I feel when I am dancing. I don't know what came over me at my sister's wedding, but it was a fantastic feeling. I was dancing, at times even being the only one on the dance floor, and I didn't give a fuck what anyone thought of me. And I was drop dead SOBER. I had not one ounce of alcohol, except for some champaggin at the toast. My mom said it made her happy to see me having fun and that made me happy that my happiness made someone else happy.

Try reading that one three times fast. It made me think of this.

The Stupid Of The Day

A screenshot of my Facebook page status:















Why did she not just save herself the trouble and spout her usual "it is what it is" bullshit? Then I would have liked to have done like the cartoons where I put my fist through the computer and to have it come out of her screen and punch her square in the face. I swear, that saying has become the slogan of my workplace and I am sick of it. One of these days, I am going to appear on the nightly news- local girl goes postal in workplace; destroys everything in sight- and I guarantee it will be because someone chose the wrong day to say "it is what it is" to me.

Oh and I did come into my work room today and find my shredding bin filled. So do you know what I did? I picked it up, walked up to her desk, opened her drawer where she keeps her papers waiting to be shredded, and threw them all in there. Fucking lazy cow.

Video Of The Day

I saw this scene last night on The Simpsons and laughed my ass off:



On another note, a wintry mix tonight?

Random Thoughts

Ugh, every time I think people couldn't possibly get more annoying, I get proven wrong.

Something went on with that girl from work today and she was in the boss lady's office for a very long time (leading me to be one cranky little bitch at not having any work to do). I don't know how her Facebook postings were brought up to the boss lady, but they were and....you know, I really have no idea what the hell went on because whenever anyone explained it to me, they whispered and I can't hear worth a shit, so I missed most of the stories. But anyway, I came home to find myself defriended on Facebook and all I could think was, really? She defriended me?

Okay, so everyone complained to the boss lady about her and while I did my fair share of bitching, I never complained to my boss about her. It takes a lot for me to bitch to a boss about something. In fact, I just did my first actual bitching yesterday. Other than that, I tried to stay out of it. I always try to stay out of office politics, but somehow, I always get drug into them. This happened at my last job. I got drug into the fued between the girl who trained me and our assistant manager (or whatever she was). And once again, here I am, drug into the middle of drama.

I only have one response to this whole, um, situation:

The WTF Of The Day

A 75% of going off the coast and missing us, eh?! FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU!!!!















What is Rageguy yelling anyway? Is he starting to yell fuck or is he saying "F(uck) (yo)U!"?

The WTF Of The Day

Oh come on! *sobs* Say it isn't so! THIS:


















This is just too much. First Bugaboo. Then the Spaghetti Warehouse. How on earth are these 99 restaurants closing? They were all so damn busy anytime I went! The first time I went to a 99 was in Woburn, MA back in 2000. I waited impatiently for many years for them to finally move down this way. I can't believe this. I can barely put into....ARGH! Where is Rageguy? I need Rageguy!


















Quick, I need something to make me feel better! *searches frantically on internet* Ah! Here we go- a picture of Garrett Hedlund! Those pants are almost as disturbing as these pants (c'mon- you knew that was coming), but that boy is hot. Love, love, LOVED him in Four Brothers and [almost] cried when he was killed. And if you never saw Four Brothers and want to....yeah, Jack dies.

The WTF Of The Day

Look, I know Wal-Fart is the Antichrist and all, but....THIS:















Look! It enraged me so much, I had to paste the Rageguy meme into the picture!

Seriously? Not one of those "artists" could hold a candle to Mark Masri.

lol- I like how his one album is titles "See My Face". Oh I see it alright. *grrglgrrrrgllgrrgll*