Random Thoughts

So I finally called one of the imaging places today to get a price quote on a transvaginal ultrasound and it would be $587, but if I agreed to pay it in full the day of the procedure, it would cost $294. I have been having pretty bad cramping the past few days, including right now. It's a weird pain to describe. It definitely feels like it's coming from the reproductive area. I have had enough varying degrees of menstrual cramps to know what they feel like and the pain almost feels like menstrual cramps, but there is something different about it. I guess maybe the best way to describe it is like a deep vague burning. It's not terrible, but it's certainly uncomfortable. It still stays localized on my left side in the front, but spreads across most of my lower back.

I should really have the test done, but I hate to put out that money and nothing is found. Which still doesn't mean anything. I don't know how reliable a TV ultrasound would be in diagnosing endometriosis, if that is what it was. But I certainly can't have a laparoscopy done right now.

I am so stressed and worried that my period is going to come early. And then if I pass the expected date, then I will start worrying that it will not come. And then when it comes, I'll start worrying that it will come early next month or I'll start spotting again. IT. NEVER. STOPS.

Sometimes I go through my iTunes library and think good god, what what I thinking when I liked that song? Even songs I have praised on here in the past, I think oh god why. "Written in the Stars"? "Higher" by Taio Cruz? "Paradise" by Coldplay? Ugh.

And then sometimes there are songs I just can't listen to anymore. When I had a nervous breakdown before, I spent a good amount of time listening to Depeche Mode's Playing The Angel. I can't really listen to anything from that album anymore without having bad memories.

If I hear songs that I used to hear a lot when I worked (with the exception of some songs, e.g. "Kids", "Time To Pretend", "Little Talks", and a few others), I can't listen to them. I used to love both of the songs by A Silent Film that my radio station played. Not anymore. I don't hate them, but I can't bring myself to listen to them anymore. Anything by Death Cab by Cutie, although I suspect that doesn't just have to do with bringing back thoughts of my old job. More like it just sucks to my ears now. I do still like "Soul Meets Body", although for a while there I couldn't distinguish between it and "Satellite" by Guster. I don't know. I'd like to know if anyone else has this problem or if it is just another one of my ridiculous eccentricities. Probably the latter.

I just came across this article:

Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Arrest PHOTOS: New Pictures Emerge From Boston Bombing Suspect Manhunt (UPDATE)

So let me get this straight....this guy releases these photos to counteract the Rolling Stone issue? I hardly see how that would happen. And listen, dude, as someone who had fan-girled for many, many years, these pictures are not going to counteract the photos to the millions of fan girls this evil idiot apparently has. If anything, it is going to drum even more sympathy from these dopes.

I still can't believe that he actually has fan girls. I mean, I suspected that it existed, but when I saw actual proof of it.....Gesù Maria Giuseppe.

Random Thoughts

Fudge, it's already almost Sunday. *cries* Isn't there some way we could all band together and declared the work week be two days long and the weekend be five days?*

*spare me the whole economic lecture; I am not being serious

We went to Ocean City today and although it was not a particularly nice day (gray, chilly, and kind of showery), it was nice to finally see the shore again. We got up semi early and went to Ihop for breakfast, where I was very annoyed to find the calorie listing of all of the foods on the menu. I do not want to know how many calories I am eating when I go out. Plus, while I like Ihop's food, I do not care for the one we go to. There was not much to do except walk on the boards when we got down to Ocean City, so that's pretty much what we did, as well as stopped in some stores. Now Ocean City is a little, uh, cleaner than the other two shores I go to and when you walk by the clothing stores, they are not as racy as the other shores. However, I still did see a lot of Durrrsey Shur-related t-shirts at many of the stores (no "I heart the Situation" ones, though. Not that I would buy one or anything, but if someone gave me one....). Then we went to Mack & Manco's for pizza, which was really the whole reason we went and which was good as usual (although don't ask the lower left side of my abdomen whether it was good; I was so uncomfortable on the ride home between a combination of menstrual cramps and intestinal cramps).

The best part, though, was when we were getting ready to leave, I saw two seagulls going at it. And I laughed until my mom reminded me what will come of them fucking.

Hey, I just realized it is my 666th post. Woohoo! And to celebrate, I am going to put the Video Of The Day on here and go dance like a maniac:

YouTube - Taio Cruz - Higher ft. Travie McCoy