The Headline Of The Day

Last-ditch effort to throw election to Trump quashed by Supreme Court

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here's an idea- STOP worrying about the election, ACCEPT that no one likes your orange ass, and make yourself somewhat useful in controlling this damn pandemic already!

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Texas Lt. Gov. On Reopening U.S. Economy: 'More Important Things Than Living'

But if we're not living....if we're dead....oh hell

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Boaty McBoatface most popular choice to name $380 million ship

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109-Year-Old Woman Says Secret To Long Life Is Avoiding Men

I like the way this woman thinks.

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Police: Pa. man stabbed for eating Thanksgiving dinner early

Seems like a perfectly reasonable reaction, eh?

It's a different scenario of "eating early", but it pisses me the hell off when people eat before everyone else has gotten their food. Every Thanksgiving my father and my grandfather get their food and sit down and start eating right away. Before anyone else has even gotten their food and sat down. Or said grace. Like JFC, you can't wait 5 minutes to stuff your fucking gullet?

Thanksgiving is really starting to piss me off.

As are people acting like greedy pigs on Black Friday:

Tussle over TV at Walmart caught on camera

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Connecticut man accused of 'mopping aggressively'

The WTF/Headline Of The Day

Woman Gives Birth to Lizard, Is Accused of Witchcraft

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Man Sues Almost Everyone For $2,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000

Dual Headline & Song Of The Day

Cows make more milk when listening to R.E.M

*and*

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WATCH: Lake Michigan Waves Birth Giant Ice Balls

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Frog Photobombs NASA Moon Probe Launch

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Nottingham Movie Theater Shows Paranormal Activity Instead Of Madagascar, Scares Hell Out Of Kids

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Man Pays $137 Traffic Ticket With 137 Origami Pigs In Donut Boxes (PHOTOS, VIDEO)

What makes the article even funnier is the 5 minutes it took me to put together pigs+donuts=cops.

I am certainly not the smartest person on earth, but man, do I have some dumb moments!

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I'm truly a sight to behold right now- sobbing, and laughing hysterically at this article:

Dreams Do Come True: Prince Hot Ginge Gets Naked In Vegas, My Head Explodes In New York

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Treatment may help some with depression

If someone would perform this on me, and I can be guaranteed it would work, I would willingly put out the $6,000 to $11,000 to have it done.

I don't know what it is going to take to finally hit rock bottom and say enough is enough something has to give. I can't even imagine feeling worse than I already do.

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Russell Neff Accused Of Breaking Into Home, Licking Remote Control In His Underwear, Cooking

Wut? 

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Six Careers for People Who Don't Like People

Every time I read a career-suggesting article- whether it be careers for shy people, careers for introverts, careers for people who like being by themselves, you get the point- accounting is always among the suggestions. Is someone trying to tell me something?

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I shouldn't be laughing, but it just further proves my point in this post:

Banana truck crash destroys 1745 Mass. building - Yahoo! News

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Pedobear At Jerry Sandusky Trial: Advocacy Mascot Pays A Visit To Courthouse

I laughed. Loudly. I have been waiting for this to happen.

I am going to hell.

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Cow Sex Blocks Traffic On West Pennsylvania Highway

*snickers*