Dear Sprint:
Ben Franklin supposedly said once upon a time that the only things in life that is certain are death and taxes. Well, I would like to add that in my life, the only things certain are taxes, death, hard drive failures, and that I will never EVER sign up for a Sprint cellphone account.
I wake up to a pleasant surprise in late July of a three phone account bill in my name. After dealing with an incompetent customer service rep for about 5 minutes (I told the girl a hundred gazillion times that I did not open the account and yet she still insisted on asking me the answer to the security question until finally I had to scream "I DID NOT OPEN THIS ACCOUNT; THEREFORE I DO NOT KNOW THE FRIGGIN ANSWER" for it to sink in), I am finally transfered to someone else, who informs me that my SS# was not used in the opening of this account. Excuse me? Are cellphone companies NOT supposed to run credit checks when they open accounts? Last time I checked they are! If the incompetent morons at your company ran a credit check against the social security number, the account would probably have never have been open! But no. They didn't do that. So instead I receive the bill for an account I didn't open. And my sister, too. Explain that one, folks- how 2 sisters that live at 2 different addresses can both receive identical cellphone plans on the same day opened in our names, but not by us.
Now, the fraud department promised me a settlement letter after the investigation was done and the account was closed. Well, the account was closed not long after and I have yet to still see the fucking settlement letter, despite repeated calls to your incompetent company demanding it.
So I did what I did the last time repeated calls to a company resulted in getting nowhere- I filed a complaint with the BBB. A few days later, I receive an email from someone claiming to work at Sprint and I ignore it. How do I know it's legitimate? Emails with legitimate addresses does not automatically make them legitimate! I opened an email from Monster.com one time and ended up crashing my computer. Plus, if you just discovered you were a fraud victim, would you just respond to any old email? NO! I wouldn't! A week or so later, I receive another. Not long after, the BBB informs me that Sprint responded and apparently the emails were legitimate and they fingerpoint at me for not getting this settled. The emails asked me to clarify what I wanted. Because I apparently was not clear enough in my complaint of what I wanted.
WHAT THE FUCK is so hard to comprehend in saying that I want a fucking settlement letter that states the account that was opened in my name but not by me was closed and I am not liable for it?
Sincerely,
A Pissed Off Fraud Victim
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Quote Of The Day
A simple, but oh so true quote from Gandhi:
I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.The good wittle Cwistians of this country who are blubbering "what has Haiti ever done for us" need to read that last part repeatedly. Yeah. Stand there and whine about how the poor people in this country need just as much help, but then bitch and whine about paying taxes for welfare and homeless shelters and anything else that helps the poor people. Just like the abortion argument. Sob and stamp your feet and have a hissy fit over a woman deciding on having abortion, but then if she decides to keep it and needs financial assistance, then they sob and stamp their feet and throw hissy fits over having to pay taxes to support the woman and her child. And no one can argue that the person should have made sure they were financially stable before having a baby because come on. We all know that is not an excuse for an abortion with these people. Was Little Miss Abstinance Bristol exactly financially stable- aside from her parents- when she got knocked up? But that's right. It's okay for "conservatives" like them to get knocked up out of wedlock and while in high school. Its only when everyone else does it that it's considered "failure of liberal values", even if the person is not liberal. There is no winning with them.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Lyrics Of The Day
I have still yet to see what is so horrible about this song, besides making absolutely no sense whatsoever, that it's one of the most hated songs on earth....I totally dig the Donna Summer version of "MacArthur Park". I love the first part when she howls "oh NOOOOOO!". Provided I am alone when listening to it, I will generally fall to my knees and scream along with her:
Spring was never waiting for us dear
It ran one step ahead
As we followed in the dance
Between the parted pages
And were pressed
In love's hot, fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants
MacArthur's park is melting in the dark
All the sweet green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh noooooooooooo
I recall the yellow cotton dress
Foaming like a wave
On the ground around your knees
The birds like tender babies
In your hands
And the old men playing Chinese checkers
By the trees
MacArthur's park is melting in the dark
All the sweet green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again
Oh noooooooooooo
There will be another song for me
For I will sing it
There will be another dream for me
Someone will bring it
I will drink the wine while it is warm
And never let you catch me
Looking at the sun
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves of my life
You'll still be the one
I will take my life into my hands
And I will use it
I will win the worship in their eyes
And I will lose it
I will have the things that I desire
And my passion flow like rivers
Through the sky
And after all the loves of my life
After all the loves in my life
You'll still be the one
And I'll ask myself why
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Quote Of The Day
George Carlin, on conservatives and abortion:
Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren’t they? They’re all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you’re born, you’re on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don’t want to know about you. They don’t want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked. Conservatives don’t give a shit about you until you reach ‘military age’. Then they think you are just fine. Just what they’ve been looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Pro-life… pro-life… These people aren’t pro-life, they’re killing doctors! What kind of pro-life is that? What, they’ll do anything they can to save a fetus but if it grows up to be a doctor they just might have to kill it? They’re not pro-life. You know what they are? They’re anti-woman. Simple as it gets, anti-woman. They don’t like them. They don’t like women. They believe a woman’s primary role is to function as a brood mare for the state… You don’t see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses, do you? No, you don’t see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? No, that might be something Christ would do.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The WTF Of The Day
STFU, Parents
I'm speechless.
Now excuse me while I go projectile vomit all over my bedroom walls. Because my poor stomach isn't on enough fire as it is.
What exactly is the benefit of this? I know dogs and other animals do it to stimulate milk production, but why do humans do it? *shudders*
Speaking of strange ass mombies and parents, I always laugh at how parents always call those who choose to be childless "selfish". And this is usually from the same ones who demand the proposterous "stork parking" or "mothers with small children parking", that scream all over people when others won't cater to their little brats, and that demand overly expensive "push gifts" from their husbands. I never even heard of push gifts until I came across STFU, Parents. Look, it's nice of a man to buy his wife a gift as a surprise, but to actually declare on Facebook, you want a BMW for squeezing out a baby? Give me a break. Women give birth every fucking day. You're not special! But anyway, apparently parents like this have never read books like The Nanny Diaries* to see what true selfishness is. And the best part is these people are all parents!
Help me understand- I fail to see how it is selfish to realize you would not make a good parent BEFORE you actually spawn a little monster!
*Regardless of being a work of fiction, it's still supposedly drawn on real like experiences. Plus, come on....we all know there are mommies and daddies out there who only have kids for the sake of having them and then can't be bothered actually parenting.
Speaking of The Nanny Diaries, I watched the movie the other night and holy crap, I never realized how hot the guy is that played Harvard Hottie. I'd like to jump his bones.
I'm speechless.
Now excuse me while I go projectile vomit all over my bedroom walls. Because my poor stomach isn't on enough fire as it is.
What exactly is the benefit of this? I know dogs and other animals do it to stimulate milk production, but why do humans do it? *shudders*
Speaking of strange ass mombies and parents, I always laugh at how parents always call those who choose to be childless "selfish". And this is usually from the same ones who demand the proposterous "stork parking" or "mothers with small children parking", that scream all over people when others won't cater to their little brats, and that demand overly expensive "push gifts" from their husbands. I never even heard of push gifts until I came across STFU, Parents. Look, it's nice of a man to buy his wife a gift as a surprise, but to actually declare on Facebook, you want a BMW for squeezing out a baby? Give me a break. Women give birth every fucking day. You're not special! But anyway, apparently parents like this have never read books like The Nanny Diaries* to see what true selfishness is. And the best part is these people are all parents!
Help me understand- I fail to see how it is selfish to realize you would not make a good parent BEFORE you actually spawn a little monster!
*Regardless of being a work of fiction, it's still supposedly drawn on real like experiences. Plus, come on....we all know there are mommies and daddies out there who only have kids for the sake of having them and then can't be bothered actually parenting.
Speaking of The Nanny Diaries, I watched the movie the other night and holy crap, I never realized how hot the guy is that played Harvard Hottie. I'd like to jump his bones.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
The WTF Of The Day
Pat Robertson on Christians:
Here's an idea, asshole. Pick up a book other than the Bible and do some damn research. Or better yet, kill yourself and go to hell where you belong.
Here is another idea- go make this speech in front of blacks who were around back during segregation and in front of Holocaust survivors, which actually consisted of more than just Jewish people. Go whine about how terrible life is for you poor "Christians" in front of African women who are forced to have clitorectomies or in front of Middle Eastern women who get stoned when they are raped or have their limbs cut off if they accidentally show any skin. Too bad there are no former American slaves still around or I'd suggest making your whiny little speech in front of them. But there are still slaves in parts of the world, so go make your speech in front of them.
What a proposterous thing to say. And yet I am the one who had to stay in a loony bin?
I have had it with "religious" fanatics. Do these blockheads not realize that while they are complaining of the destruction of Christianity and of being discriminated against that they are the reason people are running away from religion? Look, believing in Jesus and God is fine! But taking things from the Bible and spinning it to suit your needs and using the name of God to justify your hate and evilness is *NOT* okay! Oh the big old bad libruls are always out to get you! Taking prayer out of school and starting some phoney baloney war on Christmas nonsense. I don't give a flying rats ass if someone prays in school. If someone was sitting next to me and started to pray, would I jump down their throats? No. I would probably roll my eyes because I am an insufferable little bitch, but would it bother me? No. Forcing me to pray outside my own terms? Yes, that would bother me. I pray when I want to and when I am by myself.
I have also had it with hyperpoliticos. I became a fan of a well known restaurant on Facebook and I look in the photos section and there is this picture of Obama's head on a baby's body and some sarcastic whining about Fox and then some description written underneath of the photo by a supposed 95 year-old WW2 vet whining about Obama destroying the country and Christianity being the force behind the building of this country. I reported it as spam. The same person who would get offended at being reported because it's *whining* dampening their free speech is probably the same person making a FB group petitioning to shut down the group "Soldiers are not heroes", which while certainly unfavorable, is not really threatening anyone. People are entitled to their own opinion and if you don't like the group and disagree with it, don't join it or read the page. Simple as that. I get their point to a very minor degree that the simple sole act of putting on a military uniform does not make you a hero. I don't think it automatically make you a hero. The ones over fighting now or in the past and in past wars? Yes, I would call them heroes. But joining the military and then having mommy and daddy get you out of actually doing your damn job like some people do is not heroic. Calling someone like that a hero is a slap in the face to the people who actually are sent over and put their asses on the line. And someone will whine about free speech and all that in regards to this stupid ass picture, but it has nothing to do with the fan page and should not be there! I want to see photos of the food at the restaurant and people eating there, not some bullshit whiny propaganda written by someone who is probably some 19 year-old spoiled rotten hillbilly who has probably never even served a day in the military.
Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It’s no different. It is the same thing. It is happening all over again. It is the Democratic Congress, the liberal-based media and the homosexuals who want to destroy the Christians. Wholesale abuse and discrimination and the worst bigotry directed toward any group in America today. More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in historyIt's the same thing, huh? We're all rounding up Christians and putting them into death camps and working them day and night, torturing them, and then sending them off into gas chambers or an incinerator, right? Oh yeah, Pat. I definitely see that everywhere in America.
Here's an idea, asshole. Pick up a book other than the Bible and do some damn research. Or better yet, kill yourself and go to hell where you belong.
Here is another idea- go make this speech in front of blacks who were around back during segregation and in front of Holocaust survivors, which actually consisted of more than just Jewish people. Go whine about how terrible life is for you poor "Christians" in front of African women who are forced to have clitorectomies or in front of Middle Eastern women who get stoned when they are raped or have their limbs cut off if they accidentally show any skin. Too bad there are no former American slaves still around or I'd suggest making your whiny little speech in front of them. But there are still slaves in parts of the world, so go make your speech in front of them.
What a proposterous thing to say. And yet I am the one who had to stay in a loony bin?
I have had it with "religious" fanatics. Do these blockheads not realize that while they are complaining of the destruction of Christianity and of being discriminated against that they are the reason people are running away from religion? Look, believing in Jesus and God is fine! But taking things from the Bible and spinning it to suit your needs and using the name of God to justify your hate and evilness is *NOT* okay! Oh the big old bad libruls are always out to get you! Taking prayer out of school and starting some phoney baloney war on Christmas nonsense. I don't give a flying rats ass if someone prays in school. If someone was sitting next to me and started to pray, would I jump down their throats? No. I would probably roll my eyes because I am an insufferable little bitch, but would it bother me? No. Forcing me to pray outside my own terms? Yes, that would bother me. I pray when I want to and when I am by myself.
I have also had it with hyperpoliticos. I became a fan of a well known restaurant on Facebook and I look in the photos section and there is this picture of Obama's head on a baby's body and some sarcastic whining about Fox and then some description written underneath of the photo by a supposed 95 year-old WW2 vet whining about Obama destroying the country and Christianity being the force behind the building of this country. I reported it as spam. The same person who would get offended at being reported because it's *whining* dampening their free speech is probably the same person making a FB group petitioning to shut down the group "Soldiers are not heroes", which while certainly unfavorable, is not really threatening anyone. People are entitled to their own opinion and if you don't like the group and disagree with it, don't join it or read the page. Simple as that. I get their point to a very minor degree that the simple sole act of putting on a military uniform does not make you a hero. I don't think it automatically make you a hero. The ones over fighting now or in the past and in past wars? Yes, I would call them heroes. But joining the military and then having mommy and daddy get you out of actually doing your damn job like some people do is not heroic. Calling someone like that a hero is a slap in the face to the people who actually are sent over and put their asses on the line. And someone will whine about free speech and all that in regards to this stupid ass picture, but it has nothing to do with the fan page and should not be there! I want to see photos of the food at the restaurant and people eating there, not some bullshit whiny propaganda written by someone who is probably some 19 year-old spoiled rotten hillbilly who has probably never even served a day in the military.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Quote Of The Day
Blogger user Shrodinger's Kittens comment on Childfreedom:
Every time I see an article argues assisted reproductive technologies should be covered by insurance I can't make a coherent argument. It makes me too angry. Covered by insurance? It should be illegal. Nobody ever died from not having a baby. And then you get a situation like Jon and Kate--note in the article when they started trying for another baby she told the doctor she would not selectively reduce. This is the thing I hate most about assisted reproduction: for some reason your body is not able to sustain an embryo or bear a child, but we can chemically torture it into doing what it shouldn't, all because society says you are a failure as a woman if you don't pursue every possible option to get a baby, no matter how impractical or expensive or detrimental to your health. Look what Science can do for you! Oh, so many beautiful babies! It's a miracle!The one point that, oddly enough, stuck out to me the most was "nobody ever died from not having a baby". No, they have not. But plenty of women have died from having a baby.
Then a few months later the doctor sits them down and says, "You have to think about selective reduction. There are too many embryos," And mommy and daddy say, "Oh, teehee, I can't play God!" Guess what, you got into the god business when you started this chain of events. Everyone screams about their right to have a baby, but nobody wants to take the responsibility. So God, in the guise of the taxpayers, pays for their defective litter that's plagued with physical problems and learning disabilities. Because no sacrifice is too great for a baby, especially if other people do the sacrificing.
So where does it end? Thanks for letting me rant, I apologize if I got wordy, but I thought you might have something (more coherent and less ranty) to say about this article if you hadn't seen it already. Take care.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Webpage Of The Day
Landover Baptist Church
Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. I think I might just order a set of these for next Christmas.
Steve Schmidt: Palin Believed Candidacy Was "God's Plan"
If Sarah is just so in with God, then why did He not make McCain win? Good news, Sarah! It apparently was also God's plan for you and old man McCain to not win.
Two very enthusiastic thumbs up. I think I might just order a set of these for next Christmas.
Steve Schmidt: Palin Believed Candidacy Was "God's Plan"
If Sarah is just so in with God, then why did He not make McCain win? Good news, Sarah! It apparently was also God's plan for you and old man McCain to not win.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Did I Miss Something?
Truthfully, I have wondered that everyday for the past god knows how many years, but lately, the number of times a day I have been thinking said thought has greatly increased.
Yesterday, I went to Wal-Fart and I had to pee like there was no tomorrow so I go to the bathroom and when I walk in, there is this ghetto looking tween thing in there, posing and holding her phone up to the mirror. She was taking a picture of herself in the mirror. WTF is the point of that?
I also recently discovered STFU, Parents and I just don't get the minds of parents today. They are all so fucking weird! Pregnancy has turned into a complete and utter state of weirdness. Now I know I am weird, but I don't get these women who are proud of their pregnant bellies. Making casts or taking naked photos and such. It's gross! If I ever decided to get pregnant, I think I would vomit every time I had to look at my ever expanding gut. Pregnant guts make me want to vomit. I can't stand how in movies and stuff if the character is pregnant, she always has to touch it or rub it or something. It's so annoying. Yes, we see you are fucking pregnant and I fail to see how rubbing it is somehow "bonding". Don't even get me started on when I actually see it in person. And if someone says "pregnant tummy" or "baby bump", I get downright borderline homicidal.
I don't care if some "miracle of God" is in there, it is not cute or sexy or whatever people want to call it nowadays. And they take like 8 million pictures of themselves pregnant. I am lucky if I can find 6 pictures of my mother pregnant with me. There are a few at her baby shower, but I can barely tell she is even pregnant. There's the infamous Thanksgiving one, where she is freaking huge, which is bizarre because my mom only gained 15 pounds and 7 pounds 8 oz of that was me. According to my mom, she was never real big and then about a month before I was due, she got huge.
And everytime I see these new pregnant women parking or parents with small children parking, I could scream. Pregnancy is not a handicap! No wonder pregnant women are so fucking fat nowadays. They not only assume that it is okay for them to eat 75,000 calories a day (and then whine when they develop gestational diabetes and are fat as hell after giving birth), but now they apparently can't walk either. Give me a break. Pregnant women have been getting by without these ridiculous parking spots for years. A little exercise will not kill you! Unless your doctor tells you not to. In that case, stay the hell home! For pete's sake, there are countries where women give birth in the middle of fucking rice paddies and go right back to work!
And don't even get me started on the new age of people who think simply that by becoming a parent, no rule or law applies to them. I already touched on it briefly and the thought of it just makes my blood boil. I went to the pet store in the Moorestown Mall before Christmas and....well, before I start the story, that place pisses me the hell off. Every single time I go in there, there is a young girl that works there and every single time I see her, she is either texting on her cellphone or talking on her cellphone. Wow, way to be a good employee, bitch. And yet I cannot get hired anywhere? I don't even text! Or talk on my phone that often. Anyway, there is a big sign that says no one under 18 is allowed to handle the dogs and I am looking in the bin at some puppies and this little kid- maybe 5 at the most- comes over and starts whining to his dad about something and the dad reaches in and pulls a puppy out and he starts to lower it and I figure he is going to let the kid pet it. No. He hands the puppy to the kid. And then to piss me off even more, the sister- who is even younger than the boy- comes over and she has a puppy in her arms! I stormed out of the store because I wanted to go absolute apeshit on the guy.
I have heard of women in the past who have severe problems menstrually (is that even a word? it is now) are told to become pregnant and it will ease up the problems down the line. I have a lot of trouble every month and would give my left foot to have a hysterectomy, but if a doctor ever told me that I needed to get pregnant to ease the problems, I would tell the doctor to go to hell. As much as I hate my period, at least I know that will end sometime down the line, even though that is about another 24 freaking years, depending on how things go (my luck I will have mine until I am about 75). A child, no. That is forever.
Speaking of kids, I have also come to realize, after exposure to many other women's reaction, that I must have lost my "OMG ITS A BABY!!!!" gene. Roughly 99.9% of the women I am acquainted with go absolutely ballistic over the sight of babies. Not me. Once upon a time, I did. But now I feel nothing. Every once in a while I come across a baby that I might fuss over or I might freak out over baby clothes, but its very rare. I am even well aware of them screaming and crying is due to them not knowing any better, but it still annoys me. If I am in a store and a baby starts wailing its head off, I want to scream. I can't stand it. I would make the absolute worst mother. If my baby started to scream and cry, I would probably just hand it to the father and tell him to deal with it. I'd make a bad wife as well. Oh you're sick? Tough shit. You had surgery? Cry me a river.
God, I am a horrible person.
In all honesty....I don't even think I like most babies, let along kids. I know plenty of women who see pregnant women and talk about how they can't wait for that to be them. Not me. I see pregnant women and after my first thought (which is generally along the lines of oh great another moron breeding), I am ecstatic it is not me. So, no. My hatred towards pregnant women is not one of jealousy or any of that bullcrap spewed when one states they hate pregnant women. I am not aware of any fertility problems, since I have never had sex. I would not be upset if I did have fertility problems. Imagine how that statement would go over people having fertility problems but actually want children. Probably as well as me telling someone who has what I want that I want what they have. WAH! Priceless. I can tell you right now that pregnancy scares me more than an STD. Traditional STDs, I mean. I view pregnancy as an STD, but I am referring to the ones we learn about in sex ed (provided you had it), i.e., syphillis, gonorrhea, etc.
Puppies, though, are a whole other story. I get all teary eyed when I see puppies and forget even showing me a picture of newborn ones all cuddled up together with their brothers and sisters.
It is Day 5 of my father no longer working and yes, my mother and I are already about to lose our minds. My father has become an absolute lazy slob. He does nothing. After dinner, my mother and I always get stuck cleaning up. While he sits his fat ass and watches TV. Right before he went to bed, I heard him washing dishes and thought, thank God I don't have to wash any of the dishes in the sink, since I get stuck cleaning all of the dishes every night before I go to bed. I go out to get a soda and much to my surprise, find my mom's and my 2 bowls in the sink and all of his dishes washed and in the drain. I lost count of how many curse words came out of my mouth. After dinner tonight, my mother ran next door to a neighbors and I went to do my own thing after washing several dishes from dinner. Hey, he never does anything so I figured let him clean up the damn rest of the dishes. I come out a few hours later and find 4 pieces of silverware and a cup in the drain and all of the oven pans still out and nothing put back on the stove.
We went to dinner on New Years Day and my father was telling my sister's boyfriend about the things he came home with after leaving and then he made some comment about the company owing him. Owe him what exactly? The fat bastard has had 30 years of free health benefits- which he will continue to get for the rest of his life, a pension, and various other benefits and they owe him? Nope. Sorry, Dad. They don't owe you fucking shit.
Better yet, go tell the customers of the company who are going to have to pay an extra $170 a year in rates so your fat ass can sit home and get benefits while retired that the company owes you. See how well that goes over.
My father is someone who thinks that just because he can that he should. He thinks because he can retire that he should retire. But honestly, with the mess he got himself into, he has no business retiring. He should be out working and paying off his fucking bills. He needs to lie in the fucking bed he made.
And one more thought before bed. I read an article on the oh so scandelous catsuit J.Lo wore on New Years Eve (she didn't look horrible, but that outfit did absolutely nothing for her except bring her such massive amounts of criticism), but this part got to me:
Ugh, I am starting to feel like Peter Griffin and his Mark Harmon picture every time I have to do this, but....there is someone else in the world who could get away with catsuits, bitch!
Is it wrong to say that I would die to see a picture of her dressed like Catwoman? And I don't mean the trashy looking Catwoman Halle Berry played.
And speaking of one being the only one to get away with something, I heard a commercial for American Idol the other day and there was some cover version of "Time Of Our Lives" by Paul van Dyk playing in the background and....no. Absolutely not. The only person who can perform that song is Paul and whoever the lead singer of Vega4 is.
And one more note- I am reading True Lies Of A Drama Queen and aside from the fact that Elle Medina is one of the most annoying characters I have ever been acquainted with in a chick lit book....I just want one person, that is all I ask, to explain to me what is so bloody fascinating about Vera Wang wedding dresses. Every single freaking chick lit book I read, every chick flick I see, there is always at least a few mentions of the infamous Vera Wang wedding dresses. Do they give you nice hair and clear skin on your wedding day? Do they automatically take off the amount of pounds you want to lose? What? What is it? What is just OMGZ so freaking awesome about these dresses that a less expensive dress can't fullfill?
Also, while you are at it, explain to me the fascination with Tiffany's as well. I looked through their catalog before and I still failed to see what is so fascinating about this place as well.
Yesterday, I went to Wal-Fart and I had to pee like there was no tomorrow so I go to the bathroom and when I walk in, there is this ghetto looking tween thing in there, posing and holding her phone up to the mirror. She was taking a picture of herself in the mirror. WTF is the point of that?
I also recently discovered STFU, Parents and I just don't get the minds of parents today. They are all so fucking weird! Pregnancy has turned into a complete and utter state of weirdness. Now I know I am weird, but I don't get these women who are proud of their pregnant bellies. Making casts or taking naked photos and such. It's gross! If I ever decided to get pregnant, I think I would vomit every time I had to look at my ever expanding gut. Pregnant guts make me want to vomit. I can't stand how in movies and stuff if the character is pregnant, she always has to touch it or rub it or something. It's so annoying. Yes, we see you are fucking pregnant and I fail to see how rubbing it is somehow "bonding". Don't even get me started on when I actually see it in person. And if someone says "pregnant tummy" or "baby bump", I get downright borderline homicidal.
I don't care if some "miracle of God" is in there, it is not cute or sexy or whatever people want to call it nowadays. And they take like 8 million pictures of themselves pregnant. I am lucky if I can find 6 pictures of my mother pregnant with me. There are a few at her baby shower, but I can barely tell she is even pregnant. There's the infamous Thanksgiving one, where she is freaking huge, which is bizarre because my mom only gained 15 pounds and 7 pounds 8 oz of that was me. According to my mom, she was never real big and then about a month before I was due, she got huge.
And everytime I see these new pregnant women parking or parents with small children parking, I could scream. Pregnancy is not a handicap! No wonder pregnant women are so fucking fat nowadays. They not only assume that it is okay for them to eat 75,000 calories a day (and then whine when they develop gestational diabetes and are fat as hell after giving birth), but now they apparently can't walk either. Give me a break. Pregnant women have been getting by without these ridiculous parking spots for years. A little exercise will not kill you! Unless your doctor tells you not to. In that case, stay the hell home! For pete's sake, there are countries where women give birth in the middle of fucking rice paddies and go right back to work!
And don't even get me started on the new age of people who think simply that by becoming a parent, no rule or law applies to them. I already touched on it briefly and the thought of it just makes my blood boil. I went to the pet store in the Moorestown Mall before Christmas and....well, before I start the story, that place pisses me the hell off. Every single time I go in there, there is a young girl that works there and every single time I see her, she is either texting on her cellphone or talking on her cellphone. Wow, way to be a good employee, bitch. And yet I cannot get hired anywhere? I don't even text! Or talk on my phone that often. Anyway, there is a big sign that says no one under 18 is allowed to handle the dogs and I am looking in the bin at some puppies and this little kid- maybe 5 at the most- comes over and starts whining to his dad about something and the dad reaches in and pulls a puppy out and he starts to lower it and I figure he is going to let the kid pet it. No. He hands the puppy to the kid. And then to piss me off even more, the sister- who is even younger than the boy- comes over and she has a puppy in her arms! I stormed out of the store because I wanted to go absolute apeshit on the guy.
I have heard of women in the past who have severe problems menstrually (is that even a word? it is now) are told to become pregnant and it will ease up the problems down the line. I have a lot of trouble every month and would give my left foot to have a hysterectomy, but if a doctor ever told me that I needed to get pregnant to ease the problems, I would tell the doctor to go to hell. As much as I hate my period, at least I know that will end sometime down the line, even though that is about another 24 freaking years, depending on how things go (my luck I will have mine until I am about 75). A child, no. That is forever.
Speaking of kids, I have also come to realize, after exposure to many other women's reaction, that I must have lost my "OMG ITS A BABY!!!!" gene. Roughly 99.9% of the women I am acquainted with go absolutely ballistic over the sight of babies. Not me. Once upon a time, I did. But now I feel nothing. Every once in a while I come across a baby that I might fuss over or I might freak out over baby clothes, but its very rare. I am even well aware of them screaming and crying is due to them not knowing any better, but it still annoys me. If I am in a store and a baby starts wailing its head off, I want to scream. I can't stand it. I would make the absolute worst mother. If my baby started to scream and cry, I would probably just hand it to the father and tell him to deal with it. I'd make a bad wife as well. Oh you're sick? Tough shit. You had surgery? Cry me a river.
God, I am a horrible person.
In all honesty....I don't even think I like most babies, let along kids. I know plenty of women who see pregnant women and talk about how they can't wait for that to be them. Not me. I see pregnant women and after my first thought (which is generally along the lines of oh great another moron breeding), I am ecstatic it is not me. So, no. My hatred towards pregnant women is not one of jealousy or any of that bullcrap spewed when one states they hate pregnant women. I am not aware of any fertility problems, since I have never had sex. I would not be upset if I did have fertility problems. Imagine how that statement would go over people having fertility problems but actually want children. Probably as well as me telling someone who has what I want that I want what they have. WAH! Priceless. I can tell you right now that pregnancy scares me more than an STD. Traditional STDs, I mean. I view pregnancy as an STD, but I am referring to the ones we learn about in sex ed (provided you had it), i.e., syphillis, gonorrhea, etc.
Puppies, though, are a whole other story. I get all teary eyed when I see puppies and forget even showing me a picture of newborn ones all cuddled up together with their brothers and sisters.
It is Day 5 of my father no longer working and yes, my mother and I are already about to lose our minds. My father has become an absolute lazy slob. He does nothing. After dinner, my mother and I always get stuck cleaning up. While he sits his fat ass and watches TV. Right before he went to bed, I heard him washing dishes and thought, thank God I don't have to wash any of the dishes in the sink, since I get stuck cleaning all of the dishes every night before I go to bed. I go out to get a soda and much to my surprise, find my mom's and my 2 bowls in the sink and all of his dishes washed and in the drain. I lost count of how many curse words came out of my mouth. After dinner tonight, my mother ran next door to a neighbors and I went to do my own thing after washing several dishes from dinner. Hey, he never does anything so I figured let him clean up the damn rest of the dishes. I come out a few hours later and find 4 pieces of silverware and a cup in the drain and all of the oven pans still out and nothing put back on the stove.
We went to dinner on New Years Day and my father was telling my sister's boyfriend about the things he came home with after leaving and then he made some comment about the company owing him. Owe him what exactly? The fat bastard has had 30 years of free health benefits- which he will continue to get for the rest of his life, a pension, and various other benefits and they owe him? Nope. Sorry, Dad. They don't owe you fucking shit.
Better yet, go tell the customers of the company who are going to have to pay an extra $170 a year in rates so your fat ass can sit home and get benefits while retired that the company owes you. See how well that goes over.
My father is someone who thinks that just because he can that he should. He thinks because he can retire that he should retire. But honestly, with the mess he got himself into, he has no business retiring. He should be out working and paying off his fucking bills. He needs to lie in the fucking bed he made.
And one more thought before bed. I read an article on the oh so scandelous catsuit J.Lo wore on New Years Eve (she didn't look horrible, but that outfit did absolutely nothing for her except bring her such massive amounts of criticism), but this part got to me:
"Everyone is trying to outdo each other now. These stars realize they can't be naked so they resort to this, even though body suits are not flattering and are not cool," said celebrity stylist Mary Alice Stephenson. "Cher is really the only one who could get away with it."Cher is the only one who get away with it?
Ugh, I am starting to feel like Peter Griffin and his Mark Harmon picture every time I have to do this, but....there is someone else in the world who could get away with catsuits, bitch!
Is it wrong to say that I would die to see a picture of her dressed like Catwoman? And I don't mean the trashy looking Catwoman Halle Berry played.
And speaking of one being the only one to get away with something, I heard a commercial for American Idol the other day and there was some cover version of "Time Of Our Lives" by Paul van Dyk playing in the background and....no. Absolutely not. The only person who can perform that song is Paul and whoever the lead singer of Vega4 is.
And one more note- I am reading True Lies Of A Drama Queen and aside from the fact that Elle Medina is one of the most annoying characters I have ever been acquainted with in a chick lit book....I just want one person, that is all I ask, to explain to me what is so bloody fascinating about Vera Wang wedding dresses. Every single freaking chick lit book I read, every chick flick I see, there is always at least a few mentions of the infamous Vera Wang wedding dresses. Do they give you nice hair and clear skin on your wedding day? Do they automatically take off the amount of pounds you want to lose? What? What is it? What is just OMGZ so freaking awesome about these dresses that a less expensive dress can't fullfill?
Also, while you are at it, explain to me the fascination with Tiffany's as well. I looked through their catalog before and I still failed to see what is so fascinating about this place as well.
Lyrics Of The Day
"30 Century Man":
Off-topic- why is it that I want to do something nice for the environment and I have to be penalized for it? I want to be nice and recycle my old monitor that is so big it should be paying taxes, but I have to pay $10 for it? And then be given a $10 gift card to Worst Buy? I don't buy at Worst Buy anymore! And unfortunately I don't know anyone else that does either to even sell them my gift card! ARGH! Why not just give me a Visa gift card?
See the dwarfs and see the giants,The song is originally by Scott Walker, but personally I think his version blows. The Jigsaw Seen definitely did a better cover of it. Call me a sissy, but I always get emotional when it's played in Bender's Big Score, at the scene when Fry realizes he is actually Lars and then runs out of his building, shouting "Wait for me, Leela! I'll be there in a thousand years!".
Which one would you choose to be?
And if you can't get that together,
Here's the answer, here's the key
You can freeze like a 30 century man,
Like a 30 century man
I'll save my bread and take it with me,
'Til a hundred years or so
Shame you won't be there to see me
Shakin' hands with Charles de Gaulle
Play it cool and saran-wrap all you can,
Be a 30 century man
You can freeze like a 30 century man,
Like a 30 century man
Off-topic- why is it that I want to do something nice for the environment and I have to be penalized for it? I want to be nice and recycle my old monitor that is so big it should be paying taxes, but I have to pay $10 for it? And then be given a $10 gift card to Worst Buy? I don't buy at Worst Buy anymore! And unfortunately I don't know anyone else that does either to even sell them my gift card! ARGH! Why not just give me a Visa gift card?
Monday, January 4, 2010
The I Have No Idea Of The Day
I read an article last week on 911 dispatchers and I came across this part:
TD Bank is a joke. I worked at a bank before it was taken over by TD Banknorth in 2005 and the one thing I loved about my bank was it had bullet-proof glass to protect the tellers. Well, the other day I went by and I noticed the glass proof is no longer there and when I questioned a TD employee about it, I was told that TD Bank does not allow it because it takes away [something I don't recall what] from the customer. That is nice of TD Bank, isn't it? The customer is that so goddamn important. Sure, customers should be happy with service, but that should not have priority over the safety of employees. I would be very happy if my banks had bullet-proof glassing because then I know at least they are caring about their employees as well.
Gee, with that logic, why don't they just get rid of drive-through?
Almost all calls are answered within two seconds. Computers check the number of calls dispatchers take, the length of each call, the time between calls, the time they are not available. They get two 15-minute rest breaks and a half-hour meal break during an eight-hour shift.Why does that sound so damn familiar? Oh yeah. That is how TD Bank runs its customer service center, except I think TD was a little more generous and gave us 3 seconds to answer the phone.
TD Bank is a joke. I worked at a bank before it was taken over by TD Banknorth in 2005 and the one thing I loved about my bank was it had bullet-proof glass to protect the tellers. Well, the other day I went by and I noticed the glass proof is no longer there and when I questioned a TD employee about it, I was told that TD Bank does not allow it because it takes away [something I don't recall what] from the customer. That is nice of TD Bank, isn't it? The customer is that so goddamn important. Sure, customers should be happy with service, but that should not have priority over the safety of employees. I would be very happy if my banks had bullet-proof glassing because then I know at least they are caring about their employees as well.
Gee, with that logic, why don't they just get rid of drive-through?
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