An Angry Letter To Sprint

Dear Sprint:

Ben Franklin supposedly said once upon a time that the only things in life that is certain are death and taxes. Well, I would like to add that in my life, the only things certain are taxes, death, hard drive failures, and that I will never EVER sign up for a Sprint cellphone account.

I wake up to a pleasant surprise in late July of a three phone account bill in my name. After dealing with an incompetent customer service rep for about 5 minutes (I told the girl a hundred gazillion times that I did not open the account and yet she still insisted on asking me the answer to the security question until finally I had to scream "I DID NOT OPEN THIS ACCOUNT; THEREFORE I DO NOT KNOW THE FRIGGIN ANSWER" for it to sink in), I am finally transfered to someone else, who informs me that my SS# was not used in the opening of this account. Excuse me? Are cellphone companies NOT supposed to run credit checks when they open accounts? Last time I checked they are! If the incompetent morons at your company ran a credit check against the social security number, the account would probably have never have been open! But no. They didn't do that. So instead I receive the bill for an account I didn't open. And my sister, too. Explain that one, folks- how 2 sisters that live at 2 different addresses can both receive identical cellphone plans on the same day opened in our names, but not by us.

Now, the fraud department promised me a settlement letter after the investigation was done and the account was closed. Well, the account was closed not long after and I have yet to still see the fucking settlement letter, despite repeated calls to your incompetent company demanding it.

So I did what I did the last time repeated calls to a company resulted in getting nowhere- I filed a complaint with the BBB. A few days later, I receive an email from someone claiming to work at Sprint and I ignore it. How do I know it's legitimate? Emails with legitimate addresses does not automatically make them legitimate! I opened an email from Monster.com one time and ended up crashing my computer. Plus, if you just discovered you were a fraud victim, would you just respond to any old email? NO! I wouldn't! A week or so later, I receive another. Not long after, the BBB informs me that Sprint responded and apparently the emails were legitimate and they fingerpoint at me for not getting this settled. The emails asked me to clarify what I wanted. Because I apparently was not clear enough in my complaint of what I wanted.

WHAT THE FUCK is so hard to comprehend in saying that I want a fucking settlement letter that states the account that was opened in my name but not by me was closed and I am not liable for it?

Sincerely,
A Pissed Off Fraud Victim