Just heard "What A Wonderful World" for the first time in a long time and now I am a blubbery snotty mess. Don't know why that song gets to me the way it does.
Now I have the joy of going to bed and worrying I won't sleep or I'll wake up too early and/or overheated and that I will get up in the morning and my period still won't be here.
7:26AM: Well, I actually slept pretty great. But still no clear signs of a period.
10:35PM: I think I can [temporarily] breathe a sigh of relief.
I see Andrew has lost his mind on Twitter again. Also,where has Simon been on Twitter? Pretty sure he doesn't go more than a few days without opening his mouth. It's been almost 2 weeks.
Showing posts with label Kuroma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kuroma. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Sunday, November 16, 2014
Random Thoughts
As if I didn't need any more proof that the influx of new ONTDers were delusional wack jobs, one day someone posted an article about musician I have never heard of stealing the bassline from "Electric Feel". Here is one genius comment:
Worst song to ever happen to music? Are you for real? Even if I wasn't a hardcore MGMT stan, I still would not call it the worst song to ever happen to music. Just look at the Billboard charts and you can find plenty of songs on there that are just downright awful.
God, there are some stupid people on that site anymore.
And yes, I still stan hard for MGMT. I know I haven't discussed them much lately, but oh damn do I still adore them. I can't believe it's already been almost 1 year since I saw them last. I NEED TO SEE THEM AGAIN. My crush on Andrew has kind of cooled down. Don't get me wrong- I still think he is flawless as hell and I would marry him in a heartbeat and have a million babies with him (maybe), but he's moved from being the king of my celebrity crushes to the hall of celebrities I will eternally love (although frankly I find labeling him a celebrity to be insulting). The throne is pretty much open, although I have to say I have kind of developed a fascination with that Simon guy (from Kuroma). He's hot. You want to talk guys with strange hair? There you go. It's more normal looking now, but still pretty out there. Normally I wouldn't care for guys who bleach their hair, but for some reason or another, it works for him. Also, I wish I could find the link again (too lazy to look for it again) but there is a picture of him and Andrew and apparently they have matching tattoos. I....I don't know what to think of that.
And speaking of MGMT, fan pictures are posted a lot on that one Tartlr page I follow and I always have to laugh at how the girls in the pictures are always like "me and Andrew (or whichever band member) tee hee me looking all ugly tee hee". Aw, does someone need validation? Ugh, it's so annoying. Sure, I say I am ugly all of the time, but I genuinely mean it. I genuinely think I am hideous and no amount of reassurance from others can change my mind. These bitches just want all of their little Tartlr friends to rush in and say omg you SOOOOO don't look ugly!
And going back to stupid people, back when I first started back at my workplace, my manager told me that she'll generally allow us to go to appointments and if we're not using PTO, then we can take it unpaid as long as it is under 4 hours and we have a doctor's notes. And then she went on to tell me how notes weren't previously necessary but one day they found out an employee was leaving and saying she was going to a doctor's appointment, but was actually going to get her nails done. And I don't know how I didn't suspect it at the time, but I ended up finding out from one of my coworkers that the employee going to get her nails done was none other than my FWA. She really is one brazen bitch, isn't she? And the fact that she knowingly lied and was basically found out and is still there will forever boggle my mind. I am starting to feel like she could come in and shoot up the place and she would still have a job afterwards.
I finally decided on days to take off one night and the next day I went in with my list and when I opened my email, there was a message about our holiday luncheon and it was for one of the days I planned to take off. To say I was ecstatic is an understatement. When I gave my boss the dates she was all disappointed that I wanted off the date of the party and then started questioning why she even planned it for that day. I kept hinting that it wasn't a big deal. Not even 5 minutes after I left the office, we get an email that the date was changed. So now I am still stuck having to attend. I felt like upending my desk and screaming every curse word under the sun.
I just pure dread going into work now. I am so damn stressed out and it's affecting my work and now I am getting stressed because I don't feel I am pulling my weight, which in turn is making me even more stressed and affecting my work even more. It's a never ending cycle.
And speaking of stress and cycles, earlier I went to do something and leaned on my breasts and they hurt. And I have felt crampy in my lower back and thighs all day. Not to mention I have had episodes of dizziness, nausea, and some other not so pleasant things and now I am in panic overdrive that my period is going to come early, as these are symptoms I typically experience before it comes. Plus yesterday my heart was doing that thing where it feels like it stops, then starts up with a bang- another thing I sometimes experience before it comes. I have never so badly needed to talk to a doctor as I do now. My mind is so consumed over perimenopause that I could probably have a cancerous lump growing out of my head or my left arm ripped off and I wouldn't even notice. I am beyond desperate to know what is going on, although at this point, if it's something that could potentially be deadly, I really couldn't care.
Like I have said before, I can't imagine how awful someone must be feeling when they actually attempt suicide. I feel so horrible and I still can't bring myself to actually attempting it. Or even coming up with a plan for that matter. I can't even imagine feeling lower than I already do. I just think about death all of the damn time. I go out for a 10 minute walk during work and every time I walk along side the road, I think gee, what would happen if I were to throw myself in front of a car? That evil part of my brain practically has a boner if a tractor trailer is coming. Every time I see Christmas stuff I just want to cry. I can't stand how awful I feel. It's insufferable.
And going back to the 10 minute walk part, I briefly wondered if the fact that I started walking more if that is why I had that bizarre lengthy episode of spotting and I thought, JFC what am I supposed to do? Stop walking? Not something I should really be asking myself right now, eh? Also, quite a few times I have hurt my back and my mom always says "you need to watch out with back problems; you don't want to end up paralyzed or something". Oh Mom, if you only knew.
Worst song to ever happen to music? Are you for real? Even if I wasn't a hardcore MGMT stan, I still would not call it the worst song to ever happen to music. Just look at the Billboard charts and you can find plenty of songs on there that are just downright awful.
God, there are some stupid people on that site anymore.
And yes, I still stan hard for MGMT. I know I haven't discussed them much lately, but oh damn do I still adore them. I can't believe it's already been almost 1 year since I saw them last. I NEED TO SEE THEM AGAIN. My crush on Andrew has kind of cooled down. Don't get me wrong- I still think he is flawless as hell and I would marry him in a heartbeat and have a million babies with him (maybe), but he's moved from being the king of my celebrity crushes to the hall of celebrities I will eternally love (although frankly I find labeling him a celebrity to be insulting). The throne is pretty much open, although I have to say I have kind of developed a fascination with that Simon guy (from Kuroma). He's hot. You want to talk guys with strange hair? There you go. It's more normal looking now, but still pretty out there. Normally I wouldn't care for guys who bleach their hair, but for some reason or another, it works for him. Also, I wish I could find the link again (too lazy to look for it again) but there is a picture of him and Andrew and apparently they have matching tattoos. I....I don't know what to think of that.
And speaking of MGMT, fan pictures are posted a lot on that one Tartlr page I follow and I always have to laugh at how the girls in the pictures are always like "me and Andrew (or whichever band member) tee hee me looking all ugly tee hee". Aw, does someone need validation? Ugh, it's so annoying. Sure, I say I am ugly all of the time, but I genuinely mean it. I genuinely think I am hideous and no amount of reassurance from others can change my mind. These bitches just want all of their little Tartlr friends to rush in and say omg you SOOOOO don't look ugly!
And going back to stupid people, back when I first started back at my workplace, my manager told me that she'll generally allow us to go to appointments and if we're not using PTO, then we can take it unpaid as long as it is under 4 hours and we have a doctor's notes. And then she went on to tell me how notes weren't previously necessary but one day they found out an employee was leaving and saying she was going to a doctor's appointment, but was actually going to get her nails done. And I don't know how I didn't suspect it at the time, but I ended up finding out from one of my coworkers that the employee going to get her nails done was none other than my FWA. She really is one brazen bitch, isn't she? And the fact that she knowingly lied and was basically found out and is still there will forever boggle my mind. I am starting to feel like she could come in and shoot up the place and she would still have a job afterwards.
I finally decided on days to take off one night and the next day I went in with my list and when I opened my email, there was a message about our holiday luncheon and it was for one of the days I planned to take off. To say I was ecstatic is an understatement. When I gave my boss the dates she was all disappointed that I wanted off the date of the party and then started questioning why she even planned it for that day. I kept hinting that it wasn't a big deal. Not even 5 minutes after I left the office, we get an email that the date was changed. So now I am still stuck having to attend. I felt like upending my desk and screaming every curse word under the sun.
I just pure dread going into work now. I am so damn stressed out and it's affecting my work and now I am getting stressed because I don't feel I am pulling my weight, which in turn is making me even more stressed and affecting my work even more. It's a never ending cycle.
And speaking of stress and cycles, earlier I went to do something and leaned on my breasts and they hurt. And I have felt crampy in my lower back and thighs all day. Not to mention I have had episodes of dizziness, nausea, and some other not so pleasant things and now I am in panic overdrive that my period is going to come early, as these are symptoms I typically experience before it comes. Plus yesterday my heart was doing that thing where it feels like it stops, then starts up with a bang- another thing I sometimes experience before it comes. I have never so badly needed to talk to a doctor as I do now. My mind is so consumed over perimenopause that I could probably have a cancerous lump growing out of my head or my left arm ripped off and I wouldn't even notice. I am beyond desperate to know what is going on, although at this point, if it's something that could potentially be deadly, I really couldn't care.
Like I have said before, I can't imagine how awful someone must be feeling when they actually attempt suicide. I feel so horrible and I still can't bring myself to actually attempting it. Or even coming up with a plan for that matter. I can't even imagine feeling lower than I already do. I just think about death all of the damn time. I go out for a 10 minute walk during work and every time I walk along side the road, I think gee, what would happen if I were to throw myself in front of a car? That evil part of my brain practically has a boner if a tractor trailer is coming. Every time I see Christmas stuff I just want to cry. I can't stand how awful I feel. It's insufferable.
And going back to the 10 minute walk part, I briefly wondered if the fact that I started walking more if that is why I had that bizarre lengthy episode of spotting and I thought, JFC what am I supposed to do? Stop walking? Not something I should really be asking myself right now, eh? Also, quite a few times I have hurt my back and my mom always says "you need to watch out with back problems; you don't want to end up paralyzed or something". Oh Mom, if you only knew.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Random Thoughts
For some reason I keep thinking of high school and how much I hated it and just want to forget about it (go figure; I want to forget it but I keep thinking of it. Okay, mind.). I would like to take all of my yearbooks, any kind of memories of it and just throw it all into a bonfire. I normally like going to my school's semiannual craft show, but I don't even think I am going to go on Saturday, because I want nothing to do with that school. Even though it means giving up one of the amazing cannolis they sell. Oh well. I am sure I will be eating bad that day, anyway.
And ever since I saw the kid I graduated with, I really want to not think about it. Ugh. I just want to scream every time I think of seeing him and I want to throw up from how repulsive it was. Good God I am so horrible. And how do I tell someone how much it is annoying me? I mean, how do you tell someone oh yeah I saw this kid from high school I graduated with who was in a wheelchair and apparently at some point had most of his legs amputated and it grossed me out so much and I was so repulsed that I wanted to throw up when I saw him and now I can't stop thinking about it and I want to throw up every time I think about it because it grosses me out so much? How do you tell that to someone without coming off as an extremely horrible person? I know, it sounds terrible to think that way. I really don't know why it grosses me out so much. I honestly think it has to do with my own obsessive fear of catching some kind of infection that leads to amputations.
Going back to that....awful post about that....awful collaboration, I would like to point out that in my state of rage, I did indeed refer to the Flaming Lips song by the wrong title. It is not "Vaseline", but "She Don't Use Jelly". My bad. This is why I should not type when I am mad.
I am so sick of weekends flying by so quickly. And I haven't even been minding work that much. It's been so nice not having to listen my FWA and her friend whine and bitch about everything and how they are always getting in trouble for everything but everyone else gets away with murder. I keep hoping and praying my FWA decides not to come back. It's also nice not having to get up and turn off the air conditioning when my FWA's friend bitches about it being hot and decides she is going to turn the air on while it's fucking 40 degrees out.
It's been a rainy, shitty weekend. I didn't do much yesterday, except go to the laundry mat (our washer broke) and then went to dinner at Red Robin. My God, I love that place. Those steak fries! And I did get my piece of carrot cake but I was a little disappointed with it. I got it from the same diner I got my first piece from, but it was a little different. For one, it was not nearly as big, which is not a bad thing to be honest, but just pointing it out. And two, I think my last piece was three layers and this one was only two. And some spots were a little stale. But otherwise it was good.
Ever since my last post, I have been thinking of the Musikfest concert. Yes, my life is that sad and boring that I have been reminiscing about a concert I attended almost 2 years ago. I am listening to "Siberian Breaks" right now (right at the 5:55 part "the empty sky surrounds me but I can't see at all.....") and I just want to cry from the awesomeness of it. I have two extremely shitty quality videos on my cellphone from the Electric Factory of that song and one of these days when I can get access to a microdisk slot, I'll upload them. And when I say extremely shitty, I mean extremely shitty. They're fucking awful. But I will still keep them and watch them when I want to.
I swear, the next time I see them, I am going to have a better phone or I will steal my sister's iPhone. I need to have good footage of them to reminisce over, dammit!
And what is the deal with Andrew and this Simon guy? I think Simon is from Kuroma, but I don't know. I know there are 4 people in the band, but the only 3 I know are the ones who play with MGMT as well. And I am too lazy to look it up. But I keep seeing these pictures of the two hanging with each other and sometimes on each other (more Andrew hanging on Simon than anything). Are they in a relationship or something? Oh my god, that would be fantastic (and oh my god, I sound like some delusional Tumblr girl). I don't get any kind of gay vibe from Andrew, but I also would not be surprised if he turned out to be gay. If that makes sense.
And speaking of which, here is a picture of Andrew from the past weekend.
See more on Know Your Meme
DAMMIT WHY WILL SOMEONE NOT MAKE AN ANIMATED SCHLICK GIRL ALREADY?
And ever since I saw the kid I graduated with, I really want to not think about it. Ugh. I just want to scream every time I think of seeing him and I want to throw up from how repulsive it was. Good God I am so horrible. And how do I tell someone how much it is annoying me? I mean, how do you tell someone oh yeah I saw this kid from high school I graduated with who was in a wheelchair and apparently at some point had most of his legs amputated and it grossed me out so much and I was so repulsed that I wanted to throw up when I saw him and now I can't stop thinking about it and I want to throw up every time I think about it because it grosses me out so much? How do you tell that to someone without coming off as an extremely horrible person? I know, it sounds terrible to think that way. I really don't know why it grosses me out so much. I honestly think it has to do with my own obsessive fear of catching some kind of infection that leads to amputations.
Going back to that....awful post about that....awful collaboration, I would like to point out that in my state of rage, I did indeed refer to the Flaming Lips song by the wrong title. It is not "Vaseline", but "She Don't Use Jelly". My bad. This is why I should not type when I am mad.
I am so sick of weekends flying by so quickly. And I haven't even been minding work that much. It's been so nice not having to listen my FWA and her friend whine and bitch about everything and how they are always getting in trouble for everything but everyone else gets away with murder. I keep hoping and praying my FWA decides not to come back. It's also nice not having to get up and turn off the air conditioning when my FWA's friend bitches about it being hot and decides she is going to turn the air on while it's fucking 40 degrees out.
It's been a rainy, shitty weekend. I didn't do much yesterday, except go to the laundry mat (our washer broke) and then went to dinner at Red Robin. My God, I love that place. Those steak fries! And I did get my piece of carrot cake but I was a little disappointed with it. I got it from the same diner I got my first piece from, but it was a little different. For one, it was not nearly as big, which is not a bad thing to be honest, but just pointing it out. And two, I think my last piece was three layers and this one was only two. And some spots were a little stale. But otherwise it was good.
Ever since my last post, I have been thinking of the Musikfest concert. Yes, my life is that sad and boring that I have been reminiscing about a concert I attended almost 2 years ago. I am listening to "Siberian Breaks" right now (right at the 5:55 part "the empty sky surrounds me but I can't see at all.....") and I just want to cry from the awesomeness of it. I have two extremely shitty quality videos on my cellphone from the Electric Factory of that song and one of these days when I can get access to a microdisk slot, I'll upload them. And when I say extremely shitty, I mean extremely shitty. They're fucking awful. But I will still keep them and watch them when I want to.
I swear, the next time I see them, I am going to have a better phone or I will steal my sister's iPhone. I need to have good footage of them to reminisce over, dammit!
And what is the deal with Andrew and this Simon guy? I think Simon is from Kuroma, but I don't know. I know there are 4 people in the band, but the only 3 I know are the ones who play with MGMT as well. And I am too lazy to look it up. But I keep seeing these pictures of the two hanging with each other and sometimes on each other (more Andrew hanging on Simon than anything). Are they in a relationship or something? Oh my god, that would be fantastic (and oh my god, I sound like some delusional Tumblr girl). I don't get any kind of gay vibe from Andrew, but I also would not be surprised if he turned out to be gay. If that makes sense.
And speaking of which, here is a picture of Andrew from the past weekend.
See more on Know Your Meme
DAMMIT WHY WILL SOMEONE NOT MAKE AN ANIMATED SCHLICK GIRL ALREADY?
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