Random Thoughts

Man, someone really jammed the stick up my ass up further today. I am in a horrid mood and I don't even really know why, aside from the fact that it's back to work tomorrow and my manager comes back this week from vacation. Ugh. And I would bitch about what my FWA did on Friday, but I think I am in a bad enough mood. I am generally not a physically aggressive person but I want nothing more than to punch her in the face.

Back when I was unemployed, I couldn't stand being home and all I wanted to do was be back in the working world. Now I am back in the working world and I am so damn homesick. There is never any pleasing me. Ever. I always want the opposite of what I have.

I finally got to go down Ocean City yesterday. It was a nice day. Overcast, but nice. Pretty sure that is how it was the last time I went to Wildwood as well. It also happened to be surfing competition weekend. I was pretty stoked when I found that out, but I didn't see any surfers except 2 young boys there were nowhere even close to legal and surfers in the ocean. I was on the boardwalk so not close enough to see any hotness. I was quite disappointed.

Last night I had a nightmare about severe weather. All I remember is it was supposed to hit overnight, my county had a TOR:CON of 8, and it was terrifying.

I am absolutely terrified I am going to jinx myself saying this but it seems like 99% of the irritation, irritability, and bladder spazzing is gone. I really hope it does not come back, although I am still concerned why I had it. Unless my last period really threw something off. My bladder felt slightly irritable yesterday and this morning, but it cleared up quickly. I was a little anxious yesterday because of the bleeding on Friday and then on the way down to OC, I started to feel hot. The early menopause fear isn't as strong as it was the past 2 weeks, but I still can't shake it off.

And if it comes back tonight- I am going to look at bananas suspiciously. But let's hope it doesn't. I really and truly hope it doesn't, because I don't know what I will do if it does.

And all I know now is my horrid mood is slowly transitioning into a terribly deep depression.

Random Thoughts

Well, I finally got to go down Ocean City this weekend. It was a nice day. It would have been better had I not had neck pain and really high anxiety levels. But I finally got to have Manco and Manco pizza (it was GOOD) and Dairy Queen. My stomach wasn't too happy, but tough toenails.

One of the things I like about OC is there are usually surfers in the ocean. Unfortunately, there were none around when I was there this time. Well, except when I walked by some store and there was this tall skinny guy in a wetsuit hosing himself down outside. I didn't get a good look at his face, but the hair and the body.....yeah. It was nice. I couldn't stop and stare, but I totally would have. Instead, I tried to turn my head slightly and look discreetly while walking by. However, having suspected BPPV wasn't about to allow that.

Today is the first day I woke up and did not have bad neck pain. My ROM is a lot better. Still hurts a little bit when I move my head to the side, but it seems to be a lot better. But the past couple days, I have been having sporadic somewhat sharp pains in different spots on my head, mostly on the top. It's unsettling and not helping the brain tumor or brain aneurysm or neurological disease fear by any means. I have been nauseous. Not to mention every time I blew raspberries on my nephew's belly or at him in general, I got really lightheaded.

My anxiety levels are horrible right now. And 95% of the time I start to feel really anxious, I don't even know why I am. I just start feeling really bad, my heart starts to pound really hard, and I start shaking. I just want to cry. Or start screaming and not stop. And now I am so afraid that I am going to pass out, have a seizure, whatever. I don't even want to leave the house anymore. One of these days when I get medical again, I want a whole host of work done. And one of the first things I want done is a test on my magnesium levels, because I don't care what anyone says, I am lacking magnesium. And unfortunately, good absorbable magnesium isn't exactly easy to come across and I want a definite low reading before I invest money in a good magnesium supplement.

Oh, and the tooth that bothered me before because it was cracked? It's bothering me again.

I jumped on Facebook when I got home last night and I found out one of my former co-workers is leaving for another job. Now I am wondering if that is why my former boss called. It seems awful coincidental that I am being called right when a former co-worker is leaving. If it turns out to be completely unrelated to that, I will be surprised. And I'll cry if I am offered her position, because while I would love to take it, there is no way in hell I could do that kind of driving.

Random Thoughts

After my 11:30 snack, my back turned red and itchy. I wonder if I am allergic to something, which is making me really anxious and now I feel itchy from head to toe.

And speaking of itching, I went outside earlier because I was going nuts being in the house and within a few minutes, I was bitten about 5 times. So I [angrily] went back inside. And while I was in the bathroom, I happened to look at the back of my right calf and there was a HUGE bite right at the top of  the Achilles tendon area. It had to be at least 2 inches wide and 1.5 inches in height. It was disgusting. I wanted to throw up when I saw it.

And speaking of gross things, I had a big blister on the top of my foot the other day. And even though I know it's a really bad thing to do, I couldn't resist- I pressed on it. Son of a bitch squirted water everywhere. Then the skin came off. I have been keeping it clean with alcohol (holy mother of God does that hurt to pour on! But it's the only thing I trust) and Neosporin, but I am really anxious that it will get infected. And earlier it was hurting and I said something and my mother says "don't start". My family will never get OCD, hypochondriosis, whichever it is.

I did find out that I can return those probiotics, even though they are opened. I really hope they are what is causing this bloating and that it will go away when I go off of them. I haven't felt this fat and miserable since I was on birth control. And I am wondering if by chance, they have something to do with the itching. Sure, allergic reactions can spring up overnight, but it's weird that this started after the pills. Note to future self- the next time you consider changing probiotics, do not. Just stick with the Spring Valley acidophilus.

The weather has been great the past week. And now it's going to get hot again. I think it will only last a few days, but I want this nice weather to stick around. Forever.

I was reading about different hurricanes last night and one article said that Hurricane Sandy was the second costliest hurricane in US history. And it made me wonder- she did so much damage and this was without the tornadoes hurricanes and tropical storms can spawn. I think I remember reading that if it was not for the cold weather and low/limited instability, the tornado threat would have been huge. How much more damage would Sandy have done if she had spawned tornadoes? Would we have surpassed Katrina in damage costs? I hate to think about it.

I am dreading one night that the news will report a hurricane hitting us. All that damage last year. I was just down Seaside this past weekend and so much of it is back. The whole boardwalk is pretty much back, minus piers, some of the bathrooms, and the ski lift. And still nothing on whether the Beach Bar is going to be rebuilt. I hope it is; I liked that place. The food was good. The Beachcomber has good food, but I liked the food at the Beach Bar better. Saturday we ate somewhere else and the food.....meh. Probably won't eat there again.

I wasn't particularly happy about going down. It was a nice day, but I kind of had my fill of shore food and cheese in general for a little bit. Not to mention on our way down, my father starts to make a left hand turn while a car is coming, my mom yells at him, and he says "I have the right away!". Uh, no you do not. My mom kept yelling at him and finally he admits that he was wrong. And then still can't accept he was completely at fault and says "oh well the other cars were slowing down!". That's not the point, old man! My father is turning into a goddamn road hazard.

Okay. I have been to Wildhood and Seaside three times each. Now maybe I can finally get to Ocean City, goddamn it! I want Manco and Manco pizza! Plus, I always get Dairy Queen when I am there. I can get DQ at Wildhood as well, but I am a huge fan of Hassles Ice Cream Parlor and I'd rather have that. Not that I can't get DQ at the mall, but I try to avoid that mall as much as possible.

And last but not least, my boys are going to be on Letterman this week! Thursday, I think. Yay!

Random Thoughts

Fudge, it's already almost Sunday. *cries* Isn't there some way we could all band together and declared the work week be two days long and the weekend be five days?*

*spare me the whole economic lecture; I am not being serious

We went to Ocean City today and although it was not a particularly nice day (gray, chilly, and kind of showery), it was nice to finally see the shore again. We got up semi early and went to Ihop for breakfast, where I was very annoyed to find the calorie listing of all of the foods on the menu. I do not want to know how many calories I am eating when I go out. Plus, while I like Ihop's food, I do not care for the one we go to. There was not much to do except walk on the boards when we got down to Ocean City, so that's pretty much what we did, as well as stopped in some stores. Now Ocean City is a little, uh, cleaner than the other two shores I go to and when you walk by the clothing stores, they are not as racy as the other shores. However, I still did see a lot of Durrrsey Shur-related t-shirts at many of the stores (no "I heart the Situation" ones, though. Not that I would buy one or anything, but if someone gave me one....). Then we went to Mack & Manco's for pizza, which was really the whole reason we went and which was good as usual (although don't ask the lower left side of my abdomen whether it was good; I was so uncomfortable on the ride home between a combination of menstrual cramps and intestinal cramps).

The best part, though, was when we were getting ready to leave, I saw two seagulls going at it. And I laughed until my mom reminded me what will come of them fucking.

Hey, I just realized it is my 666th post. Woohoo! And to celebrate, I am going to put the Video Of The Day on here and go dance like a maniac:

YouTube - Taio Cruz - Higher ft. Travie McCoy