Random Thoughts

Well, I finally got to go down Ocean City this weekend. It was a nice day. It would have been better had I not had neck pain and really high anxiety levels. But I finally got to have Manco and Manco pizza (it was GOOD) and Dairy Queen. My stomach wasn't too happy, but tough toenails.

One of the things I like about OC is there are usually surfers in the ocean. Unfortunately, there were none around when I was there this time. Well, except when I walked by some store and there was this tall skinny guy in a wetsuit hosing himself down outside. I didn't get a good look at his face, but the hair and the body.....yeah. It was nice. I couldn't stop and stare, but I totally would have. Instead, I tried to turn my head slightly and look discreetly while walking by. However, having suspected BPPV wasn't about to allow that.

Today is the first day I woke up and did not have bad neck pain. My ROM is a lot better. Still hurts a little bit when I move my head to the side, but it seems to be a lot better. But the past couple days, I have been having sporadic somewhat sharp pains in different spots on my head, mostly on the top. It's unsettling and not helping the brain tumor or brain aneurysm or neurological disease fear by any means. I have been nauseous. Not to mention every time I blew raspberries on my nephew's belly or at him in general, I got really lightheaded.

My anxiety levels are horrible right now. And 95% of the time I start to feel really anxious, I don't even know why I am. I just start feeling really bad, my heart starts to pound really hard, and I start shaking. I just want to cry. Or start screaming and not stop. And now I am so afraid that I am going to pass out, have a seizure, whatever. I don't even want to leave the house anymore. One of these days when I get medical again, I want a whole host of work done. And one of the first things I want done is a test on my magnesium levels, because I don't care what anyone says, I am lacking magnesium. And unfortunately, good absorbable magnesium isn't exactly easy to come across and I want a definite low reading before I invest money in a good magnesium supplement.

Oh, and the tooth that bothered me before because it was cracked? It's bothering me again.

I jumped on Facebook when I got home last night and I found out one of my former co-workers is leaving for another job. Now I am wondering if that is why my former boss called. It seems awful coincidental that I am being called right when a former co-worker is leaving. If it turns out to be completely unrelated to that, I will be surprised. And I'll cry if I am offered her position, because while I would love to take it, there is no way in hell I could do that kind of driving.