Dr. Goodman: Oh, it's a very rare species, the endangered White-Rump Swallow.
Chris: [laughs] Rump.
Peter: [sternly] This isn't funny, Chris! [laughs] Swallow.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From one of my favorite early episodes of Family Guy, "Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows":
Random Thoughts
Man, this has been one aggravating ass week.
Well, so far nothing has been said to me about how I called out on Monday. Apparently, everybody called out except my boss and this poor coworker who my boss made come in. Still kinda mad about having to use PTO time, though. We were under a state of emergency, after all.
Tuesday was just all kinds of annoying. I received an email from a coworker that just pissed me off. I think the whole thing that pissed me off about the email was the fact that she and I are pretty cool. Why couldn't she just come back and talk to me instead of emailing me and my boss? BUT....then someone said to me today that maybe my boss made her send the email and you know what? I would not be surprised if that was the case. I am trying to figure out how I can pry the answer out of my coworker without having to come out and ask it directly.
I stopped at the market today on the way home from work because I had a coupon from Coke for a free 12 pack that expires tomorrow and as usual, the cashier couldn't get it to work properly, so she calls over another worker, who takes it and is looking at it intently and then actually holding it up to the light like you would with a dollar bill to see if it is counterfeit. Then he asks me where I got it from and I say "uh, Coke". Then he gets on the phone to talk to someone and he is going on and on about it not scanning and how people have actually tried to copy the coupons and reading off numbers and then he gets off the phone and says that he is going to give it to me and by that point, I was beyond fucking mortified and pissed. The cashier apologizes to me for the wait and I just snapped "I don't appreciate being accused of fraud!" and she starts apologizing to me that they were not accusing me of fraud, but that in the past they have gotten people trying to pass off copies of the coupons as the real thing and that was why it was not working properly when she tried to have it scanned. I feel bad now for snapping out on the cashier, but I was just so damn stressed from work and then to have to stand in a store and basically be looked at as suspicious in front of other people just threw me over the edge. I am not a deceitful person like that.
And bitches please- it was pretty damn obvious that the coupon was not a copy.
Well, so far nothing has been said to me about how I called out on Monday. Apparently, everybody called out except my boss and this poor coworker who my boss made come in. Still kinda mad about having to use PTO time, though. We were under a state of emergency, after all.
Tuesday was just all kinds of annoying. I received an email from a coworker that just pissed me off. I think the whole thing that pissed me off about the email was the fact that she and I are pretty cool. Why couldn't she just come back and talk to me instead of emailing me and my boss? BUT....then someone said to me today that maybe my boss made her send the email and you know what? I would not be surprised if that was the case. I am trying to figure out how I can pry the answer out of my coworker without having to come out and ask it directly.
I stopped at the market today on the way home from work because I had a coupon from Coke for a free 12 pack that expires tomorrow and as usual, the cashier couldn't get it to work properly, so she calls over another worker, who takes it and is looking at it intently and then actually holding it up to the light like you would with a dollar bill to see if it is counterfeit. Then he asks me where I got it from and I say "uh, Coke". Then he gets on the phone to talk to someone and he is going on and on about it not scanning and how people have actually tried to copy the coupons and reading off numbers and then he gets off the phone and says that he is going to give it to me and by that point, I was beyond fucking mortified and pissed. The cashier apologizes to me for the wait and I just snapped "I don't appreciate being accused of fraud!" and she starts apologizing to me that they were not accusing me of fraud, but that in the past they have gotten people trying to pass off copies of the coupons as the real thing and that was why it was not working properly when she tried to have it scanned. I feel bad now for snapping out on the cashier, but I was just so damn stressed from work and then to have to stand in a store and basically be looked at as suspicious in front of other people just threw me over the edge. I am not a deceitful person like that.
And bitches please- it was pretty damn obvious that the coupon was not a copy.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From "Untitled Griffin Family History":
Moses Griffin: Okay, before we go any further, I'm gonna lay down some ground rules. Commandment number one: Shut the hell up! Commandment number two: There is nothing I can do about the sun! Commandment number three: There are no more Jolly Ranchers, they're all gone! Commandment number four: Whenever we pass a sign, please don't read it out loud!
Random Thoughts
Merry belated freaking Christmas everyone! Another year of making plans to watch A Christmas Story and another year of failing to see it again. People cannot understand how is it possible for me to miss it when it's on 24 hours straight, but somehow I get too busy when the marathon is running. One of these years I will actually see it. One of these years.
Despite the repeated protests of not having much on my list, I think I made out pretty well. I received quite a bit of jewelry. Pretty much everything on my list (what existed of one) was given to me. The only thing I did not receive was a new set of handweights. I need 3 pounders.
And I love the snowstorm yesterday. The one that, as of my birthday, had a 75% of going offshore and not hitting us. Right. Those statistics were quite accurate. I was up most of the night last night worrying about how I was going to get to work. The roads in my neighborhood were an absolute mess. There was no way I was getting to work, so I had to call out. Against my better judgement. And now I am one day short of PTO time next year. I never get why places force you to take PTO time. If I don't want to get paid, that is my prerogative. I would think most workplaces would be fucking ecstatic when an employee wants to decline being paid.
I had to laugh because this morning I was absolutely off the wall over how I was going to get to work and at one point, my father turns to me and says "hey, you paid for it, but that car is in my name and I don't want anything happening to it". I was already pretty pissed off and that almost sent me through the roof. I wanted to turn to him and say "excuse me? Oh now it's not just if you pay for something, it's if it is in your name as well?". Or just go absolutely apeshit. My father has this piss poor attitude that he is in charge of everything as long as he pays for it. He constantly throws crap like that in my mother's face. He is constantly taking her car- the car she paid for with her own cash and has her name on the title- on errands and when she made a comment to him about not putting in gas money despite taking it repeatedly, he made some wise ass comment about oh who pays for the insurance. My mom, although I am very much like her, is different in some ways. If my husband spoke to me that way, I'd knock him on his ass.
And for the record, my name is on that car title as well. And I reminded him of that and then simply left the room because I knew if I stayed in the room much longer, I'd have to do everything in my power to keep myself from knocking him on his fat ass.
I don't understand this weather anymore. Up until last year, every time a snowstorm came, it was always Pennsy that was slammed. Now all of a sudden, these stupid coastal storms keep popping up and slamming NJ and Pennsy barely gets squat. Is this our punishment for Durrrsey Shur?
Speaking of the devil....okay, so I know I am pushing into overload territory here, but I took a trip up to the library last week- due to needing books to read due to the new issue of Weird NJ still not being out yet, but finally came out right afterwards- and I did happen to find that issue of US Weekly, so I snuck off and read it and....wow. Assuming everything in the article is true, the Situation is freaking unbelievable. I don't understand what his problem is, except that he is no diva; he is a freaking whackjob. It almost sounds like he wants nothing to do with anyone else on the show, even Pauly D, who is supposed to be his best friend. He is not the one only one on the show. Mike, you did not cure cancer. Get the hell over yourself.
And he honestly wants to stand there and whine about being lonely? Oh ho! Join the club! Look, I do feel bad for him if he actually feels lonely because right now I feel so friggin lonely I want to scream and it is a lousy feeling, but at the same time I have to wonder. Maybe he really isn't doing anything wrong, who knows, but if he acts anything like he does on the show....well, Mike, I can't imagine why you would drive people away from you. Here is an idea, Mikey- step back and take a giant look in the mirror at yourself- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Take a look at yourself before you call another person ugly. Yes, for some strange reason or another, I find you cute. But I can also say you look like a middle aged old man going through a midlife crisis, you have a big ass nose, your face has enough grease to fry French fries in, your abs are freaky looking, and your arms are disproportionate to the rest of your body. I'm sorry, Mike, you are not perfect.
Really step back and take a look at how you treat women and don't give the bullshit that you love your mommy and your sister and that it is all meant to be lighthearted because newsflash, Mike- it's not funny. Do some of them probably deserve to be treated like crap? Probably. To be truthful, I don't even feel sorry for most of the girls that get treated liked crap by him. And Jesus, for someone who hates "grenades", most of the women he supposedly hooks up with are ugly as shit. These bitches actually make me feel attractive when I look in the mirror. Mike, man....damn! But it's still not funny. And I am sure there are girls that don't deserve the nasty ass treatment he gives. I don't think the checkers girl deserved the treatment she got.
And don't go around slapping people.
And for the love of God- enough with the fucking leader who has to make all the decisions crap!
I almost feel bad saying this, but I hope when his fall finally comes, it comes in A BIG WAY. Maybe when his time comes, he'll take it so bad, he'll decide to take a long walk off of a short bridge. But he cannot take that long walk without screwing me first. And before he screws me, he is gonna meet my mom. Mom'll knock that ego down a few pegs with bitchiness and guilt tripping.
My mother is a scary woman. We won't even touch on my grandmother.
It pains me to say this, but deep down, I do not believe he is a bad person. I think a lot of the slamming of him, albeit hilarious at times, is out of bounds. Other than his misogynistic behavior and girl tantrums, he seems pretty well-behaved. I mean, he isn't in the tabloids passed out drunk or high or mowing people down with that weird ass car of his or anything like that. Is he?
His car ain't bad, mostly because it's black, but I am not a fan of Bentleys. They always seem like such old man cars (please suppress all urges to make any Situation looks like an old man jokes). Plus, the way he customized it....*rolls eyes*. He puts me in the mind of someone that would buy something a little sportier, like a Lamborghini or something. Now, if it is a stick shift, that is a whole different story. There is something about watching someone drive stick shift that just, uh, drives me absolutely wild.
In one of the interviews I skimmed over about him, he mentioned something about being a underwear model and frankly, I never could understand how someone would give him that opportunity because as I have repeatedly implied before, his abs simultaneously freak me out and make me drool (his abs are his Facebook profile picture; freaks me the hell out every time I see the picture; I liked it better when this was his profile picture. And no, I am not a "fan" of him, but he frequently comes up as a suggestion under "Discover more pages" and my sister's fiance is a fan of him). Well, now that I have seen pictures of him when he was younger (I need to find the webpage again), I am going to willingly take that back. Jeebus Christmas, that boy was fucking ripped once upon a time. What in the hell happened? He still is, but believe me, those abs look nothing like they did once upon a time. But then again, he is....uh, how old is he again?
And one more thing- I was reading this article and it had this excerpt from his Pulitzer worthy "book" (I was in Barnes & Noble on my birthday and I walked by the table where his book was last time and someone had taken a copy and placed it front cover down- I lol'd):
If he ever came out, I hope it would be similar to this.
I'm sorry; I am a little stressed over going into work tomorrow. I am afraid I am going to get in trouble for calling out, mostly because I was unable to actually talk with someone when I called out. I left 2 messages, but it was on the general voicemail since oh bright one here does not have any of her coworker's private extensions. Oh and I have to deal with getting my time clock account unlocked, since it was locked due to me trying to change the password and I apparently hit the maximum amount of attempts to change my password. Don't know what the hell I was doing wrong, but it would not accept any of my attempted new passwords.
Despite the repeated protests of not having much on my list, I think I made out pretty well. I received quite a bit of jewelry. Pretty much everything on my list (what existed of one) was given to me. The only thing I did not receive was a new set of handweights. I need 3 pounders.
And I love the snowstorm yesterday. The one that, as of my birthday, had a 75% of going offshore and not hitting us. Right. Those statistics were quite accurate. I was up most of the night last night worrying about how I was going to get to work. The roads in my neighborhood were an absolute mess. There was no way I was getting to work, so I had to call out. Against my better judgement. And now I am one day short of PTO time next year. I never get why places force you to take PTO time. If I don't want to get paid, that is my prerogative. I would think most workplaces would be fucking ecstatic when an employee wants to decline being paid.
I had to laugh because this morning I was absolutely off the wall over how I was going to get to work and at one point, my father turns to me and says "hey, you paid for it, but that car is in my name and I don't want anything happening to it". I was already pretty pissed off and that almost sent me through the roof. I wanted to turn to him and say "excuse me? Oh now it's not just if you pay for something, it's if it is in your name as well?". Or just go absolutely apeshit. My father has this piss poor attitude that he is in charge of everything as long as he pays for it. He constantly throws crap like that in my mother's face. He is constantly taking her car- the car she paid for with her own cash and has her name on the title- on errands and when she made a comment to him about not putting in gas money despite taking it repeatedly, he made some wise ass comment about oh who pays for the insurance. My mom, although I am very much like her, is different in some ways. If my husband spoke to me that way, I'd knock him on his ass.
And for the record, my name is on that car title as well. And I reminded him of that and then simply left the room because I knew if I stayed in the room much longer, I'd have to do everything in my power to keep myself from knocking him on his fat ass.
I don't understand this weather anymore. Up until last year, every time a snowstorm came, it was always Pennsy that was slammed. Now all of a sudden, these stupid coastal storms keep popping up and slamming NJ and Pennsy barely gets squat. Is this our punishment for Durrrsey Shur?
Speaking of the devil....okay, so I know I am pushing into overload territory here, but I took a trip up to the library last week- due to needing books to read due to the new issue of Weird NJ still not being out yet, but finally came out right afterwards- and I did happen to find that issue of US Weekly, so I snuck off and read it and....wow. Assuming everything in the article is true, the Situation is freaking unbelievable. I don't understand what his problem is, except that he is no diva; he is a freaking whackjob. It almost sounds like he wants nothing to do with anyone else on the show, even Pauly D, who is supposed to be his best friend. He is not the one only one on the show. Mike, you did not cure cancer. Get the hell over yourself.
And he honestly wants to stand there and whine about being lonely? Oh ho! Join the club! Look, I do feel bad for him if he actually feels lonely because right now I feel so friggin lonely I want to scream and it is a lousy feeling, but at the same time I have to wonder. Maybe he really isn't doing anything wrong, who knows, but if he acts anything like he does on the show....well, Mike, I can't imagine why you would drive people away from you. Here is an idea, Mikey- step back and take a giant look in the mirror at yourself- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Take a look at yourself before you call another person ugly. Yes, for some strange reason or another, I find you cute. But I can also say you look like a middle aged old man going through a midlife crisis, you have a big ass nose, your face has enough grease to fry French fries in, your abs are freaky looking, and your arms are disproportionate to the rest of your body. I'm sorry, Mike, you are not perfect.
Really step back and take a look at how you treat women and don't give the bullshit that you love your mommy and your sister and that it is all meant to be lighthearted because newsflash, Mike- it's not funny. Do some of them probably deserve to be treated like crap? Probably. To be truthful, I don't even feel sorry for most of the girls that get treated liked crap by him. And Jesus, for someone who hates "grenades", most of the women he supposedly hooks up with are ugly as shit. These bitches actually make me feel attractive when I look in the mirror. Mike, man....damn! But it's still not funny. And I am sure there are girls that don't deserve the nasty ass treatment he gives. I don't think the checkers girl deserved the treatment she got.
And don't go around slapping people.
And for the love of God- enough with the fucking leader who has to make all the decisions crap!
I almost feel bad saying this, but I hope when his fall finally comes, it comes in A BIG WAY. Maybe when his time comes, he'll take it so bad, he'll decide to take a long walk off of a short bridge. But he cannot take that long walk without screwing me first. And before he screws me, he is gonna meet my mom. Mom'll knock that ego down a few pegs with bitchiness and guilt tripping.
My mother is a scary woman. We won't even touch on my grandmother.
It pains me to say this, but deep down, I do not believe he is a bad person. I think a lot of the slamming of him, albeit hilarious at times, is out of bounds. Other than his misogynistic behavior and girl tantrums, he seems pretty well-behaved. I mean, he isn't in the tabloids passed out drunk or high or mowing people down with that weird ass car of his or anything like that. Is he?
His car ain't bad, mostly because it's black, but I am not a fan of Bentleys. They always seem like such old man cars (please suppress all urges to make any Situation looks like an old man jokes). Plus, the way he customized it....*rolls eyes*. He puts me in the mind of someone that would buy something a little sportier, like a Lamborghini or something. Now, if it is a stick shift, that is a whole different story. There is something about watching someone drive stick shift that just, uh, drives me absolutely wild.
In one of the interviews I skimmed over about him, he mentioned something about being a underwear model and frankly, I never could understand how someone would give him that opportunity because as I have repeatedly implied before, his abs simultaneously freak me out and make me drool (his abs are his Facebook profile picture; freaks me the hell out every time I see the picture; I liked it better when this was his profile picture. And no, I am not a "fan" of him, but he frequently comes up as a suggestion under "Discover more pages" and my sister's fiance is a fan of him). Well, now that I have seen pictures of him when he was younger (I need to find the webpage again), I am going to willingly take that back. Jeebus Christmas, that boy was fucking ripped once upon a time. What in the hell happened? He still is, but believe me, those abs look nothing like they did once upon a time. But then again, he is....uh, how old is he again?
And one more thing- I was reading this article and it had this excerpt from his Pulitzer worthy "book" (I was in Barnes & Noble on my birthday and I walked by the table where his book was last time and someone had taken a copy and placed it front cover down- I lol'd):
chicks do dig guys with shaved legsWe do? Wow, I'm so glad he knows how the female spec....wait a minute....is he implying that he shaves his legs? Bwahahaha! I swear, if that boy ever comes out of the closet, it's going to be absolutely freaking fantastic. Almost as fantastic as it coming out that someone got a hold of his birth certificate and he is really about 45 years old and going through a huge midlife crisis.
If he ever came out, I hope it would be similar to this.
I'm sorry; I am a little stressed over going into work tomorrow. I am afraid I am going to get in trouble for calling out, mostly because I was unable to actually talk with someone when I called out. I left 2 messages, but it was on the general voicemail since oh bright one here does not have any of her coworker's private extensions. Oh and I have to deal with getting my time clock account unlocked, since it was locked due to me trying to change the password and I apparently hit the maximum amount of attempts to change my password. Don't know what the hell I was doing wrong, but it would not accept any of my attempted new passwords.
Video Of The Day
Today would have been my friend's 27th birthday. One of the things I always remember about her was Oasis being her favorite bands. I liked some songs by them, but I was never a real big fan of them. But there was always something about "Don't Look Back In Anger" that I liked and when she passed away, the song took on a whole new meaning to me.
I would never say anything to her, but I am beyond pissed that of all of the days in the year, my sister had to choose the day after my friend's anniverary death date to get married.
I would never say anything to her, but I am beyond pissed that of all of the days in the year, my sister had to choose the day after my friend's anniverary death date to get married.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Quote Of The Day
Commentor Leadalpha in response to Paw Nation's article on top 10 dog poisons:
Aw, really? Batteries aren't good for my dog when he eats them? I thought we were supposed to recycle batteries. I guess I'm gonna have to eat them myself then. Yuck.
The WTF Of The Day
Monday, December 20, 2010
Lyrics Of The Day
Another song I instantly fell in love with...."Driven By Their Beating Hearts" by A Silent Film:
As I was waking up
The moon was fading
The folks had gone to ground
The day was breaking
Words don't come easily
When most I need them
I do not have the key
I am breaking in
There's people, people going out of their minds
Right into each other's homes
But I only want to be with you, with you
There's people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I don't believe my eyes
There's so much beauty here
A song for everyone
A song for every ear
Words don't come easily
When most I need them
I do not have a key
I am breaking in
There's people, people going out of their minds
Right into each other's homes
But I only want to be with you, with you
There's people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
There's people, people going out of their minds
Right into each other's homes
But I only want to be with you, with you
There's people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts
Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts
Friday, December 17, 2010
Video Of The Day
"It's The End Of The World As We Know It" by REM:
I think this is one of the best songs ever to be created. I swear, if the world is ever going to end, I am going to run through the streets with a radio blasting this. I am just going to go absolutely ballistic. I am going to destroy stuff and kick a lot of asses. It's going to be fucking awesome.
I think this is one of the best songs ever to be created. I swear, if the world is ever going to end, I am going to run through the streets with a radio blasting this. I am just going to go absolutely ballistic. I am going to destroy stuff and kick a lot of asses. It's going to be fucking awesome.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Random Thoughts
I woke up pretty miserable this morning- partly due to waking up at 5AM and not falling back asleep (I wake up at 7), partly due to my stomach problems flaring up, and partly due to absolutely no reason at all- and when I got to work, all seemed to be pretty mellow- until I heard that voice. "The man" was in. I haven't been in work when he was in in a very long time. Ugh.
And what happens? I am on lunch and I happen to be on the Daily What when he comes strolling into my workspace and I see him keep staring at my screen. I was clocked out so I was not going to bother hiding the screen. I was not doing anything wrong. He didn't say anything, but if anything is said to me this week, I am going to make sure I am well prepared to defend myself. We were told to clock out if we want to spend personal time on the internet. Most people in the office still don't (I see people on Facebook all the time; I refuse to go on Facebook when I am at work; I don't want them knowing my password and log in and all that) and heck, sometimes I don't (I might refresh the MSN homepage and brief through the headlines real quick- 30 seconds at the most, it would be ridiculous to clock out for it), but right then and there I was. I will object if I have to, dammit!
Every holiday season, a group of about 6 of us get together and go shopping and dinner and all that fun stuff. Our trip this year was this past Sunday (we ate at 99 *sniffles*. I can't even begin to describe how upset I am over its closing). Except for the rain, it was actually pretty nice. I only wanted to stab about 15% of the people I came across, as opposed to my usual 95%.
I also happened to come across this while I was in Best Buy. I was going to take all of the copies and move them into the Horror section (yes, I am prone to going into stores and getting uncontrollable urges to move things around in stores, but usually I never go through with my plans because I have worked retail and it is kinda mean, although Saturday, I was in Target and I saw that the issues of Men's Fitness were hiding in the back of the magazine rack, so I took all of the copies and moved them to the front and I ended up back there on Monday and much to my surprise, no one had moved them back), but after giving side eye up and down the aisle, I concluded that there were simply too many people around and I certainly did not want to be accused of actually wanting to purchase a copy. Bitches, please- if I want a DVD on how to get fabulous abs, I am going to purchase a DVD by someone who, you know, actually has fabulous abs.
I also saw the "I Like It" video with all of the dipshits while I was in Sears. Oh and it was Schnozz here that I thought was singing the song the first time I heard it (look, before any Enrique fans get their pantalones in a bunch, it was 7AM in the morning and Enrique had a hat on, so I couldn't see his face real good, okay?). I think I saw the video right after D-Listed posted an article about his aural holocaust of a rap "song" (I listened to 5 seconds of it and....OH GOD! The horror!).
I found this picture of him and....what is he doing? He does realize he still has his shirt on, right?
And what happens? I am on lunch and I happen to be on the Daily What when he comes strolling into my workspace and I see him keep staring at my screen. I was clocked out so I was not going to bother hiding the screen. I was not doing anything wrong. He didn't say anything, but if anything is said to me this week, I am going to make sure I am well prepared to defend myself. We were told to clock out if we want to spend personal time on the internet. Most people in the office still don't (I see people on Facebook all the time; I refuse to go on Facebook when I am at work; I don't want them knowing my password and log in and all that) and heck, sometimes I don't (I might refresh the MSN homepage and brief through the headlines real quick- 30 seconds at the most, it would be ridiculous to clock out for it), but right then and there I was. I will object if I have to, dammit!
Every holiday season, a group of about 6 of us get together and go shopping and dinner and all that fun stuff. Our trip this year was this past Sunday (we ate at 99 *sniffles*. I can't even begin to describe how upset I am over its closing). Except for the rain, it was actually pretty nice. I only wanted to stab about 15% of the people I came across, as opposed to my usual 95%.
I also happened to come across this while I was in Best Buy. I was going to take all of the copies and move them into the Horror section (yes, I am prone to going into stores and getting uncontrollable urges to move things around in stores, but usually I never go through with my plans because I have worked retail and it is kinda mean, although Saturday, I was in Target and I saw that the issues of Men's Fitness were hiding in the back of the magazine rack, so I took all of the copies and moved them to the front and I ended up back there on Monday and much to my surprise, no one had moved them back), but after giving side eye up and down the aisle, I concluded that there were simply too many people around and I certainly did not want to be accused of actually wanting to purchase a copy. Bitches, please- if I want a DVD on how to get fabulous abs, I am going to purchase a DVD by someone who, you know, actually has fabulous abs.
I also saw the "I Like It" video with all of the dipshits while I was in Sears. Oh and it was Schnozz here that I thought was singing the song the first time I heard it (look, before any Enrique fans get their pantalones in a bunch, it was 7AM in the morning and Enrique had a hat on, so I couldn't see his face real good, okay?). I think I saw the video right after D-Listed posted an article about his aural holocaust of a rap "song" (I listened to 5 seconds of it and....OH GOD! The horror!).
I found this picture of him and....what is he doing? He does realize he still has his shirt on, right?
The WTF Of The Day
Oh come on! *sobs* Say it isn't so! THIS:
This is just too much. First Bugaboo. Then the Spaghetti Warehouse. How on earth are these 99 restaurants closing? They were all so damn busy anytime I went! The first time I went to a 99 was in Woburn, MA back in 2000. I waited impatiently for many years for them to finally move down this way. I can't believe this. I can barely put into....ARGH! Where is Rageguy? I need Rageguy!
Quick, I need something to make me feel better! *searches frantically on internet* Ah! Here we go- a picture of Garrett Hedlund! Those pants are almost as disturbing as these pants (c'mon- you knew that was coming), but that boy is hot. Love, love, LOVED him in Four Brothers and [almost] cried when he was killed. And if you never saw Four Brothers and want to....yeah, Jack dies.
This is just too much. First Bugaboo. Then the Spaghetti Warehouse. How on earth are these 99 restaurants closing? They were all so damn busy anytime I went! The first time I went to a 99 was in Woburn, MA back in 2000. I waited impatiently for many years for them to finally move down this way. I can't believe this. I can barely put into....ARGH! Where is Rageguy? I need Rageguy!
Quick, I need something to make me feel better! *searches frantically on internet* Ah! Here we go- a picture of Garrett Hedlund! Those pants are almost as disturbing as these pants (c'mon- you knew that was coming), but that boy is hot. Love, love, LOVED him in Four Brothers and [almost] cried when he was killed. And if you never saw Four Brothers and want to....yeah, Jack dies.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Video Of The Day
Nineties music usually makes me feel better:
No. It is not working this time. But at least I am off my ass and dancing.
No. It is not working this time. But at least I am off my ass and dancing.
It's Pity Party Time! Part 2
Well, apparently my "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" phase is back in full force again. I am tired, I have heartburn up to my ears, I am sick of nasty ass people, and I am tired of always being cold. Oh, and my insides, which have been behaving somewhat, are in an uproar again.
I'm just very miserable today. I don't know what my problem is. I just woke up feeling bad. I am sick and tired of being a good person and I am even more sick and tired of feeling bad for being a good person. I am tired of feeling like the most unattractive person on earth (I look in the mirror and I do not see a quote unquote "grenade" or "landmine" or whatever the stupid terms those stupid douchebags use when I look in the mirror; I am a fucking Hindenburgh). I am tired of no matter how much weight I lose, I always feel like I can be thinner (a fact no one knows about me is I wish I had been a ballet dancer. I never got the chance to do it, and probably never will ever get the chance, but I certainly have the body image problems). I am tired of being single. I am tired of being a virgin. I am tired of having poor social skills. I am tired of trying to do good and only seeing assholes be rewarded constantly. I think I need to just become a bigger asshole than I already am. The thing is it all needs to come out of hiding. I can be a bitch in my own head and to certain people, but that is maybe 14% of the actual full-fledged bitch that I really can be. That bitch needs to be released. And God save us all when she is. Even I want to shake in my boots.
Oh God, it will be so fucking awesome.
Oh and I am annoyed that everywhere I like to eat keeps closing. I have already repeatedly bitched about Bennigan's closing. A week or so ago, I found out our local Bugaboo Creek closed (I was just introduced to that place for the first time this year and I liked it. Except for all of the talking fake animals *shudders*) and then yesterday I found out our local Spaghetti Warehouse closed. I went ballistic when I was told that. I freaking loved that place! Okay, so they didn't have the greatest food (although I beg to differ on the brownie dessert), but it was good and I liked the atmosphere there. It was a big old random chaotic assortment of things. It's probably what my head looks like inside- walls full of various antique junk and a trolley smack dab in the middle.
Speaking of random chaotic junk, you know what song I go absolutely ballistic over every single time it comes on? "Baby It's Cold Outside". God, I hate that song! It's like they took two completely different songs and smushed them together. It gets on my nerves!
I'm just very miserable today. I don't know what my problem is. I just woke up feeling bad. I am sick and tired of being a good person and I am even more sick and tired of feeling bad for being a good person. I am tired of feeling like the most unattractive person on earth (I look in the mirror and I do not see a quote unquote "grenade" or "landmine" or whatever the stupid terms those stupid douchebags use when I look in the mirror; I am a fucking Hindenburgh). I am tired of no matter how much weight I lose, I always feel like I can be thinner (a fact no one knows about me is I wish I had been a ballet dancer. I never got the chance to do it, and probably never will ever get the chance, but I certainly have the body image problems). I am tired of being single. I am tired of being a virgin. I am tired of having poor social skills. I am tired of trying to do good and only seeing assholes be rewarded constantly. I think I need to just become a bigger asshole than I already am. The thing is it all needs to come out of hiding. I can be a bitch in my own head and to certain people, but that is maybe 14% of the actual full-fledged bitch that I really can be. That bitch needs to be released. And God save us all when she is. Even I want to shake in my boots.
Oh God, it will be so fucking awesome.
Oh and I am annoyed that everywhere I like to eat keeps closing. I have already repeatedly bitched about Bennigan's closing. A week or so ago, I found out our local Bugaboo Creek closed (I was just introduced to that place for the first time this year and I liked it. Except for all of the talking fake animals *shudders*) and then yesterday I found out our local Spaghetti Warehouse closed. I went ballistic when I was told that. I freaking loved that place! Okay, so they didn't have the greatest food (although I beg to differ on the brownie dessert), but it was good and I liked the atmosphere there. It was a big old random chaotic assortment of things. It's probably what my head looks like inside- walls full of various antique junk and a trolley smack dab in the middle.
Speaking of random chaotic junk, you know what song I go absolutely ballistic over every single time it comes on? "Baby It's Cold Outside". God, I hate that song! It's like they took two completely different songs and smushed them together. It gets on my nerves!
Quote Of The Day
From "Squid On Strike":
Spongebob: Gee! Being on strike with Squidward sure is a kick! Squidward's words are still buzzing around in my head like an angry jellyfish. Squidward was right! I can't just sit here! It's time for action!YEAH! YOU TELL EM SPONGEBOB *punches computer screen*
(at Krusty Krab)
I will restore the working man to his rightful glory! I will dismantle this oppressive establishment board by board! I will saw the tables of tyranny in half! Gnaw at the ankles of big business! Squidward will be so proud.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
The WTF Of The Day
Tell Me It's Not True!!! | Dlisted
*falls on knees and throws hands in air* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NO! Aretha Franklin can not die! Queens do not die!
This probably is not the appropriate time to bring this up, but I am notorious for never being in the right place at the right time, but holy zombie Jesus, her boobs mesmorize me. Every time I see pictures of her, I just stare at them in absolute awe. Look at them! They're ginormous!
What is with me? I don't mean to be inappropriate, but I just am. Take, for instance, on Sunday. There was that story going around the internet about that young boy who was seriously injured on some German TV show. I saw the video and in addition to making me absolutely sick to my stomach (I am still haunted by it), the first thing I thought when I was watching it was, goddayum, that kid is really cute. And I'd still think it- if I could stomach watching it again.
I feel terrible for that kid. I half knew what to expect to see watching the video, but I swear, when I actually seen the way he landed on the ground, I almost lost it completely. Sure, part of me wants to say, well that is what happens when you want to do crazy stuff like that, but then again, if you really think about it, it can happen to anyone anytime. I could easily go outside, fall down the steps in front of my house, land a certain way and WHAM! That's it. Believe me- becoming paralyzed was once one of my absolute biggest fears and I spent more hours than should be allowed with raging anxiety imagining every little thing having the potential to cause paralysis.
I saw this on the Daily Squee on Friday and I laughed my fucking ass off. Although I hope the poor fish isn't suffering. God I'd feel absolutely terrible if it was. But look at it! How could you not laugh at it? It looks like MRAH! I’m gonna hold my breath ’till I get what I want! (no I did not leave that comment, but that is exactly what it looks like. Brownie points for Major Ypres!).
*falls on knees and throws hands in air* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NO! Aretha Franklin can not die! Queens do not die!
This probably is not the appropriate time to bring this up, but I am notorious for never being in the right place at the right time, but holy zombie Jesus, her boobs mesmorize me. Every time I see pictures of her, I just stare at them in absolute awe. Look at them! They're ginormous!
What is with me? I don't mean to be inappropriate, but I just am. Take, for instance, on Sunday. There was that story going around the internet about that young boy who was seriously injured on some German TV show. I saw the video and in addition to making me absolutely sick to my stomach (I am still haunted by it), the first thing I thought when I was watching it was, goddayum, that kid is really cute. And I'd still think it- if I could stomach watching it again.
I feel terrible for that kid. I half knew what to expect to see watching the video, but I swear, when I actually seen the way he landed on the ground, I almost lost it completely. Sure, part of me wants to say, well that is what happens when you want to do crazy stuff like that, but then again, if you really think about it, it can happen to anyone anytime. I could easily go outside, fall down the steps in front of my house, land a certain way and WHAM! That's it. Believe me- becoming paralyzed was once one of my absolute biggest fears and I spent more hours than should be allowed with raging anxiety imagining every little thing having the potential to cause paralysis.
I saw this on the Daily Squee on Friday and I laughed my fucking ass off. Although I hope the poor fish isn't suffering. God I'd feel absolutely terrible if it was. But look at it! How could you not laugh at it? It looks like MRAH! I’m gonna hold my breath ’till I get what I want! (no I did not leave that comment, but that is exactly what it looks like. Brownie points for Major Ypres!).
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Random Thoughts
Is it Friday yet? No? Well, why not?!
Ugh, a coworker's grandson was in work today and she was bringing him around to show everyone and I actually hid. I have absolutely no idea how to talk to kids! If a kid comes up to me and starts talking to me, I just stare, horrified. It amazes me as to how I ever worked in a daycare or spent 3 years as a babysitter. Well, the kid I babysat, he and I basically had the same mentality, so we meshed well together. As for the daycare, I can't say I ever instigated anyone, but I had a tendency to magnetize all of the bad kids. For some reason, they just all loved me.
I saw the most fantastic thing last week. Over by my work area, there is a dental office and sometime last month, they strung lights up around the enormous tree outside. Well, one night I was coming up that way and I was stopped at the traffic light and I happened to look over and was staring at the tree and I thought, hm, cool decorative lights. Then I looked back again and I realized they were fucking teeth! Teeth shaped lights! I swear, I almost died from laughing.
I know I am a big bitch and I have a short temper and all, but anymore, when people ask me stupid questions, I just want to go absolutely apeshit. My father is notorious for asking dumb questions. On Sunday, I was dumping a can of soup into a bowl in front of the microwave and he comes in and says "making soup for lunch?". No. I am pouring it into a bowl and then I am going to throw it against the wall. Stupid questions make me want to bash my head against the wall.
Oh and I see some new stupid activity is springing up on Facebook. God, does it ever stop? #666- I don't give a fuck! I get so sick of those stupid "post this if you are proud to blah blah blah" (especially the self-congratulating mombie ones) or what color your bra is or now this new one. It brings out the Roberto in me. *waves knife around* Ha HA!
Ugh, a coworker's grandson was in work today and she was bringing him around to show everyone and I actually hid. I have absolutely no idea how to talk to kids! If a kid comes up to me and starts talking to me, I just stare, horrified. It amazes me as to how I ever worked in a daycare or spent 3 years as a babysitter. Well, the kid I babysat, he and I basically had the same mentality, so we meshed well together. As for the daycare, I can't say I ever instigated anyone, but I had a tendency to magnetize all of the bad kids. For some reason, they just all loved me.
I saw the most fantastic thing last week. Over by my work area, there is a dental office and sometime last month, they strung lights up around the enormous tree outside. Well, one night I was coming up that way and I was stopped at the traffic light and I happened to look over and was staring at the tree and I thought, hm, cool decorative lights. Then I looked back again and I realized they were fucking teeth! Teeth shaped lights! I swear, I almost died from laughing.
I know I am a big bitch and I have a short temper and all, but anymore, when people ask me stupid questions, I just want to go absolutely apeshit. My father is notorious for asking dumb questions. On Sunday, I was dumping a can of soup into a bowl in front of the microwave and he comes in and says "making soup for lunch?". No. I am pouring it into a bowl and then I am going to throw it against the wall. Stupid questions make me want to bash my head against the wall.
Oh and I see some new stupid activity is springing up on Facebook. God, does it ever stop? #666- I don't give a fuck! I get so sick of those stupid "post this if you are proud to blah blah blah" (especially the self-congratulating mombie ones) or what color your bra is or now this new one. It brings out the Roberto in me. *waves knife around* Ha HA!
Quote Of The Day
From Cracked.com, on Samuel L. Jackson's badassery:
Being more pimp than the characters you play is easy when your most famous character is, say, a belligerent office worker. Not so much when you're best known as Jules Winnfield, paid assassin and B.A.M.F. Just the badassery it takes imagining the kind of life that would out-awesome Jules is a feat in itself. Your brain grows a Jherifro and starts threatening your other organs with violence in the effort. So for us to say that the real Samuel L. Jackson is more hardcore than Jules Winnfield, you know we've got to have some big guns to back it up.
Monday, December 6, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Random Thoughts
Boo! It's Sunday! *blows loud raspberry*
I want any skinny people to tell me how they manage to stay warm in the winter months. I am so fucking cold and no matter what I do, I cannot get warm. I can barely recall the last time, with the exception of vacation in Myrtle Beach, when the words "I am so hot" came out of my mouth. It's not like I have no body fat, for God's sake. I had substantial bloodwork done in August ($855 worth!) and all come back in normal ranges, so I am not anemic or have a hypothyroid.
Ugh, everyone is getting on me about a Christmas list. I cannot think of absolutely anything I want and I have to come up with a birthday list as well! I have had this problem for a very long time. I am very anal about owning a lot of things, so it always makes it difficult to come up with a list. This is why I always laugh when people ask me if I ever feel like I get ripped off at the holidays. Noo. My only complaint is plenty of people seem to forget about my birthday.
I wish that spawn of Palin would STFU. It's bad enough we have to hear from Mommy Dearest constantly. Now her too? Like mother, like daughter. Defensive as shit, always flying off the handle yet never ONCE actually denying what they are being accused of. Reminds me of me. I do crap like that. And we all know I am fucking nuts.
I once was almost feeling sorry for her with all of the weight jokes being tossed around, but the way she was behaving the last few weeks, any sympathy flew out the window. How does someone spend so much time dancing and gain weight like that? I mean, look at me for example. I am a freak of nature. Do you know how some people will eat bad and then compensate by over exercising? I cannot compensate my bad eating with exercising. For some reason, if I go above 30 minutes of exercise, 5 days a week, I tend to hold weight or even gain weight. The summer of 2009, I went through a brief period where I was doing that. I am talking a little bit of overeating and spending an hour or more exercising because I felt so horrible and guilty for overeating. And I actually gained weight! But I have never ballooned up like this bitch. The most I gained was 2 to 5 pounds and it might have been muscle for all I know. It takes an extra 3500 calories to gain a pound! How many calories a day was she consuming? About 20,000?
On a side note, I am very proud to say I have not engaged in any bulimic behavior since September. And I have actually lost weight! Huzzahs are in order!
Last week, some controversey blew up in Philly about the renaming of some wooden shack stores from "Christmas Village" to "Holiday Village" or something (I actually was there last year and I almost died of a heart attack on the spot when I came upon a stand that was literally bursting with nesting dolls) and then it concluded with the original name being kept. Yeah, I thought it was kind of stupid to change the name, but ugh, did the War On Christmas soldiers come charging out of the woodwork. I am beyond the point of being sick of hearing about this crap every year.
UGH! I wish everyone would just STFU.
I was reading the GQ article on the Sitch being the Burning Sensation of The Year, or whatever he was nominated for, and I came across a photo gallery and there was THIS. Two thoughts ran through my head- the first thing I thought was, dayum, does he have a penchant for tight pants or something? The second thing I thought was, what, no sock this time around, Mike?
*tilts head and leans closer to screen* I don't know; what do you all think? Was that definitely a sock in the last set of girl pants? I think it was.
Ha. He's all sweaty in that picture. Makes me think of the sketch from Kids In The Hall when the Chicken Lady and the Bearded Lady go to the strip club and Chicken Lady says "and I stuck a quarter in his belly button and it stayed there. Wanna know why? 'Cause he was sweaty" or something like that. Man, that was one of the BEST KITH sketches. My sister never even cracked a smile at any of the KITH sketches, but even she laughed at that one.
And I like how light conveniently shines across his chest and part of his abs. I half expected heavenly music to start blaring out of my computer speakers.
Photos - The Year in Us Weekly - September 27, 2010 - UsMagazine.com
Hey! Why do not I not recall ever seeing this issue in work? Oh. Right. Hm. I'll have to see if my local library has an issue so I can read about the Situation's "diva antics".
lol- diva antics. I'd love to know just how much of a drama queen that boy is.
I want any skinny people to tell me how they manage to stay warm in the winter months. I am so fucking cold and no matter what I do, I cannot get warm. I can barely recall the last time, with the exception of vacation in Myrtle Beach, when the words "I am so hot" came out of my mouth. It's not like I have no body fat, for God's sake. I had substantial bloodwork done in August ($855 worth!) and all come back in normal ranges, so I am not anemic or have a hypothyroid.
Ugh, everyone is getting on me about a Christmas list. I cannot think of absolutely anything I want and I have to come up with a birthday list as well! I have had this problem for a very long time. I am very anal about owning a lot of things, so it always makes it difficult to come up with a list. This is why I always laugh when people ask me if I ever feel like I get ripped off at the holidays. Noo. My only complaint is plenty of people seem to forget about my birthday.
I wish that spawn of Palin would STFU. It's bad enough we have to hear from Mommy Dearest constantly. Now her too? Like mother, like daughter. Defensive as shit, always flying off the handle yet never ONCE actually denying what they are being accused of. Reminds me of me. I do crap like that. And we all know I am fucking nuts.
I once was almost feeling sorry for her with all of the weight jokes being tossed around, but the way she was behaving the last few weeks, any sympathy flew out the window. How does someone spend so much time dancing and gain weight like that? I mean, look at me for example. I am a freak of nature. Do you know how some people will eat bad and then compensate by over exercising? I cannot compensate my bad eating with exercising. For some reason, if I go above 30 minutes of exercise, 5 days a week, I tend to hold weight or even gain weight. The summer of 2009, I went through a brief period where I was doing that. I am talking a little bit of overeating and spending an hour or more exercising because I felt so horrible and guilty for overeating. And I actually gained weight! But I have never ballooned up like this bitch. The most I gained was 2 to 5 pounds and it might have been muscle for all I know. It takes an extra 3500 calories to gain a pound! How many calories a day was she consuming? About 20,000?
On a side note, I am very proud to say I have not engaged in any bulimic behavior since September. And I have actually lost weight! Huzzahs are in order!
Last week, some controversey blew up in Philly about the renaming of some wooden shack stores from "Christmas Village" to "Holiday Village" or something (I actually was there last year and I almost died of a heart attack on the spot when I came upon a stand that was literally bursting with nesting dolls) and then it concluded with the original name being kept. Yeah, I thought it was kind of stupid to change the name, but ugh, did the War On Christmas soldiers come charging out of the woodwork. I am beyond the point of being sick of hearing about this crap every year.
UGH! I wish everyone would just STFU.
I was reading the GQ article on the Sitch being the Burning Sensation of The Year, or whatever he was nominated for, and I came across a photo gallery and there was THIS. Two thoughts ran through my head- the first thing I thought was, dayum, does he have a penchant for tight pants or something? The second thing I thought was, what, no sock this time around, Mike?
*tilts head and leans closer to screen* I don't know; what do you all think? Was that definitely a sock in the last set of girl pants? I think it was.
Ha. He's all sweaty in that picture. Makes me think of the sketch from Kids In The Hall when the Chicken Lady and the Bearded Lady go to the strip club and Chicken Lady says "and I stuck a quarter in his belly button and it stayed there. Wanna know why? 'Cause he was sweaty" or something like that. Man, that was one of the BEST KITH sketches. My sister never even cracked a smile at any of the KITH sketches, but even she laughed at that one.
And I like how light conveniently shines across his chest and part of his abs. I half expected heavenly music to start blaring out of my computer speakers.
Photos - The Year in Us Weekly - September 27, 2010 - UsMagazine.com
Hey! Why do not I not recall ever seeing this issue in work? Oh. Right. Hm. I'll have to see if my local library has an issue so I can read about the Situation's "diva antics".
lol- diva antics. I'd love to know just how much of a drama queen that boy is.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From "The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings":
[Scene: Planet Express: Kitchen. Bender hums as he wanders into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist. He opens the fridge and screams as the Robot Devil leaps out of it.]
Robot Devil: Ah, Bender, this is a surprise! For you! Finding me in the refrigerator.
Bender: True, but at least I don't have the hiccups anymore. What up?
Robot Devil: Oh, well it so happens I'm in the mood to make a deal with you.
Bender: Forget it! You can't tempt me.
Robot Devil: Really? There's nothing you want?
Bender: Hm. I forgot you could tempt me with things I want. Well, I suppose I've always wondered what it would be like to be more annoying.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
This Is Uncomfortable And Humiliating!
Now if they could put it in the form of a situation....glue ye eyes to the screen at 0:41:
Watch Bloopers From The Situation's Workout DVD
You watched it! You can't UN-WATCH IT! *laughs sinisterly*
By all means, Mike, try not to hide it so much next time.
I can't believe I actually blushed watching that part.
I like the part when he gets all touchy feely with the other guy's back:
I wonder if that is the part when he calls the guy "butter" (sound is not good). Freudian slip? And why is he wearing that damn black hat in an exercise video? Then again, he did wear said hat in the ocean (I think Superficial user noneofurbeezwax delivered a perfectly acceptable answer to the question of why is he wearing a hat in the ocean; I think it's an acceptable answer to my question as well, eh?). And did you ever watch the way he puts his hands on his hips? He does it so....girly.
Anyway, I haven't made made my daily Futurama reference yet today, so....wait, what the hell am I talking about? I have already made two in this article alone! Oh well....now is the perfect time to put this clip I have been waiting [rather impatiently] to good use:
Watch Bloopers From The Situation's Workout DVD
You watched it! You can't UN-WATCH IT! *laughs sinisterly*
By all means, Mike, try not to hide it so much next time.
I can't believe I actually blushed watching that part.
I like the part when he gets all touchy feely with the other guy's back:
I wonder if that is the part when he calls the guy "butter" (sound is not good). Freudian slip? And why is he wearing that damn black hat in an exercise video? Then again, he did wear said hat in the ocean (I think Superficial user noneofurbeezwax delivered a perfectly acceptable answer to the question of why is he wearing a hat in the ocean; I think it's an acceptable answer to my question as well, eh?). And did you ever watch the way he puts his hands on his hips? He does it so....girly.
Anyway, I haven't made made my daily Futurama reference yet today, so....wait, what the hell am I talking about? I have already made two in this article alone! Oh well....now is the perfect time to put this clip I have been waiting [rather impatiently] to good use:
Quote Of The Day
A subtle, but hilarious part I missed the first hundred times I watched Old School:
Marissa: Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you on your birthday.
Frank: My birthday? What do you mean?
Marissa: Yeah, last Thursday. Oh, you forgot your birthday, didn't you, Frank?
Frank: Damn it. I'm such an idiot.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Random Thoughts
Boy, I love how on rainy days the real nutty drivers come out of the woodwork. Yesterday was a really nasty rainy day and I had to use my horn so many damn times on the way to and from work, it was ridiculous. I was ready to get out of my car at a red light and rip some bitch's head off at one point after she pulled out on top of me without stopping. Why are people so fucking stupid?
For some reason, the bitching about bad drivers made me think back to sometime in April when I was driving to work and I stupidly almost caused an accident. Obviously, I was very shook up and upset because I am usually more careful than that when it comes to left hand turns, so when I got to work, I called my sister up sobbing. Not long after I got off the phone, "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley came on. And you know what? It actually made me feel a little better.
Bob makes everything better, doesn't he?
I don't know what the hell crawled up my mother's ass and died this week (apparently whatever was up mine last week; now I can't stop thinking about that episode of the Fairly Oddparents when the bug that makes Vicky evil escapes and infects everyone else), but I am apparently her punching bag this week. The other night, she didn't feel like cooking so she suggested we put money together and get pizza and right away my dad decides to go with Pizza Hut. I don't want Pizza Hut and since I am paying towards it, I want a vote. I simply say if they want Pizza Hut they can get it themselves and I'll get something else. Immediately she starts freaking out and tells me "you're getting on my nerves". What in the FUCK was the big deal in what I said? They get what they want, I get what I want. What is the problem? Am I missing something here? I don't see what the big deal is in them getting what they want and me getting something else. Oh and then it turns into I am getting on her nerves about my weight. Me not wanting Pizza Hut had nothing (not completely) to do with it being a million calories. I wanted generic pizza.
I was feeling pretty nasty when she started on me and I had to almost bite my tongue completely off to keep from responding to her "you're getting on my nerves" with "well, I can easily stop getting on your nerves now can't I?". God, I hate that. Any time someone pisses me off, my first instinct is always to threaten suicide. I don't know why, other than the fact that I am absolutely bat-shit fucking insane. Do I really mean my threat? Usually no. I think about suicide and death constantly, but with the exception of the time I was on Wellbutrin, I have never actually had any idea or formulated plan of how I would do it. Whenever I think about it, I always think of that line from Girl Interrupted, which I assume is referring to suicide methods:
For some reason, the bitching about bad drivers made me think back to sometime in April when I was driving to work and I stupidly almost caused an accident. Obviously, I was very shook up and upset because I am usually more careful than that when it comes to left hand turns, so when I got to work, I called my sister up sobbing. Not long after I got off the phone, "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley came on. And you know what? It actually made me feel a little better.
Bob makes everything better, doesn't he?
I don't know what the hell crawled up my mother's ass and died this week (apparently whatever was up mine last week; now I can't stop thinking about that episode of the Fairly Oddparents when the bug that makes Vicky evil escapes and infects everyone else), but I am apparently her punching bag this week. The other night, she didn't feel like cooking so she suggested we put money together and get pizza and right away my dad decides to go with Pizza Hut. I don't want Pizza Hut and since I am paying towards it, I want a vote. I simply say if they want Pizza Hut they can get it themselves and I'll get something else. Immediately she starts freaking out and tells me "you're getting on my nerves". What in the FUCK was the big deal in what I said? They get what they want, I get what I want. What is the problem? Am I missing something here? I don't see what the big deal is in them getting what they want and me getting something else. Oh and then it turns into I am getting on her nerves about my weight. Me not wanting Pizza Hut had nothing (not completely) to do with it being a million calories. I wanted generic pizza.
I was feeling pretty nasty when she started on me and I had to almost bite my tongue completely off to keep from responding to her "you're getting on my nerves" with "well, I can easily stop getting on your nerves now can't I?". God, I hate that. Any time someone pisses me off, my first instinct is always to threaten suicide. I don't know why, other than the fact that I am absolutely bat-shit fucking insane. Do I really mean my threat? Usually no. I think about suicide and death constantly, but with the exception of the time I was on Wellbutrin, I have never actually had any idea or formulated plan of how I would do it. Whenever I think about it, I always think of that line from Girl Interrupted, which I assume is referring to suicide methods:
razors pain you, rivers are damp, acid stains you, drugs cause cramps, gun aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well liveSeriously, sometimes I wish someone would save me the trouble.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Video Of The Day
'Cause I like to secretly dance to it when no one is watching...."My Shiny Teeth And Me":
Monday, November 29, 2010
The WTF Of The Day
Look, I know Wal-Fart is the Antichrist and all, but....THIS:
Look! It enraged me so much, I had to paste the Rageguy meme into the picture!
Seriously? Not one of those "artists" could hold a candle to Mark Masri.
lol- I like how his one album is titles "See My Face". Oh I see it alright. *grrglgrrrrgllgrrgll*
Look! It enraged me so much, I had to paste the Rageguy meme into the picture!
Seriously? Not one of those "artists" could hold a candle to Mark Masri.
lol- I like how his one album is titles "See My Face". Oh I see it alright. *grrglgrrrrgllgrrgll*
Quote Of The Day
One of my favorite lines from Legally Blonde:
I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. They just don't.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Quote Of The Day
One of my favorite quotes from Dr. Cox from Scrubs:
I love this moment so much, I wanna have sex with it.And a little while later:
This moment is so great, I'd cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of tiny little momentsNow....if I could just find a clip of Elliot's fantasy wedding when she is marrying a robot.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Random Thoughts
*sobs* I can't believe my 4 day weekend is almost over! And then it is back to that place! Blech!
Apparently, I am alone in finding fault in this, but I find it incredibly rude how people in work will order food and not ask everyone if they want any. Once in a blue moon, someone will ask me if I would like to order with them. Even though, most times I have to end up turning them down due to either money, stomach issues, or the place they are ordering from just sucks, it pisses me off when they do not ask everyone. But anymore, I just step back, let my inner vain bitch out, and think well, this is why you look the way you do and this is why they all look the way they do!
I finally got around to downloading "Feel It" by Three 6 Mafia etc and while I was dancing to it last night (I was on a pie high) I thought, you know what would be an absolute delight? If I burned a copy of this to a CD, took it into work, put it in my radio at exactly 9AM (since I cannot miss the Breakfast Club), turned the volume all the way up, and hit play. I am sure the hag who bitches about my music being loud if it goes above 5 decibels would just LOVE it! *cackles*
I just noticed the part "I got stuck like it's the first of the month in the projects just got paid". I lol'd.
I was on the Weird NJ Facebook page the other day and I saw they had a new special edition out about abandoned places and since I practically orgasm over those types of stories, I made it my mission to obtain a copy of it this weekend, so I drug my mom out with me earlier to a Barnes & Noble and at one point, she says to me "look, it's your boyfriend". It was the Situation's book (my mom always jokingly refers to any celebrity crushes I have and any celebrities I hate as my "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"; today was the first day I have actually seen his "book" in person- twice! The first place was in a book store at Columbus Market and then at B&N. Both times I got an uncontrollable urge to take all of the copies and move them into the Horror section, maybe put a few copies in the True Crime section.). I was surprised she knew who he was, so I say "I'm surprised you recognized him". Her response? "I recognized the nose". I lol'd at that. Not his abs. His schnozz.
lol at Michael K's description- "The Situation is coming out with a book, because he won't stop until he gives you an STD through all mediums"
She said "there's your boyfriend" again a little while later when we were in the mall and we had stopped in the calendar store and we were looking at entertainment calendars. I told her I'd only take a calendar of all him and maybe the other 3 guys as well. Nah. I really wouldn't.
I also saw this calendar while I was looking. I laughed for a good 10 minutes.
I don't remember where, but in some interview I had read one time with the Sitch, he said his parents pushed for him to either become a cop or a fireman. A fireman? *head explodes*
You know what the even sadder part of this whole, um, situation is? Even if he was just some random shithead on the street and not a famous shithead, I'd probably still hit it. Thinking back to some of the douchebags I'd have screwed in high school, there are quite a bit of similarities, including the whole being Italian and the massive amounts of douchiness. I was surprised to read in the Men's Fitness article that he was a football player. He puts me more in the mind of a basketball player. Again, most of the douchebags I crushed on were also football players.
Ugh. Apparently, I just have lousy taste in men. Maybe I do have a long time thing for these guido idiots. Well, I can hope my taste in women is a little better than men.
I was on D-Listed earlier and one of the topics, everyone was discussing people who shouldn't be parents and one poster posted every single reason why she would not be a good mother. I don't get why people still get on me for not wanting to be a mother. I would not make a good one. I could stand here and try to convince myself that I would, but I know deep down that I would not. For cripes sake, I made myself soup yesterday and when I opened the cabinet and found that the crackers had been finished off and I had none left for my soup, I got so pissed and threw such a fit, that I almost took the container of oatmeal I had taken out of the closet and threw it across the room. Was it a necessary reaction? Certainly not. And this happens repeatedly.
I never react to things the way I should. I always blow up over the stupidest things. I live in fear everyday that one of these days someone is really going to push my buttons and I am going to physically hurt someone. I have never physically gone after someone else (generally when I am angry, it's me I hurt), but I am so scared that one of these days I am going to.
I need anger management. BAD.
Apparently, I am alone in finding fault in this, but I find it incredibly rude how people in work will order food and not ask everyone if they want any. Once in a blue moon, someone will ask me if I would like to order with them. Even though, most times I have to end up turning them down due to either money, stomach issues, or the place they are ordering from just sucks, it pisses me off when they do not ask everyone. But anymore, I just step back, let my inner vain bitch out, and think well, this is why you look the way you do and this is why they all look the way they do!
I finally got around to downloading "Feel It" by Three 6 Mafia etc and while I was dancing to it last night (I was on a pie high) I thought, you know what would be an absolute delight? If I burned a copy of this to a CD, took it into work, put it in my radio at exactly 9AM (since I cannot miss the Breakfast Club), turned the volume all the way up, and hit play. I am sure the hag who bitches about my music being loud if it goes above 5 decibels would just LOVE it! *cackles*
I just noticed the part "I got stuck like it's the first of the month in the projects just got paid". I lol'd.
I was on the Weird NJ Facebook page the other day and I saw they had a new special edition out about abandoned places and since I practically orgasm over those types of stories, I made it my mission to obtain a copy of it this weekend, so I drug my mom out with me earlier to a Barnes & Noble and at one point, she says to me "look, it's your boyfriend". It was the Situation's book (my mom always jokingly refers to any celebrity crushes I have and any celebrities I hate as my "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"; today was the first day I have actually seen his "book" in person- twice! The first place was in a book store at Columbus Market and then at B&N. Both times I got an uncontrollable urge to take all of the copies and move them into the Horror section, maybe put a few copies in the True Crime section.). I was surprised she knew who he was, so I say "I'm surprised you recognized him". Her response? "I recognized the nose". I lol'd at that. Not his abs. His schnozz.
lol at Michael K's description- "The Situation is coming out with a book, because he won't stop until he gives you an STD through all mediums"
She said "there's your boyfriend" again a little while later when we were in the mall and we had stopped in the calendar store and we were looking at entertainment calendars. I told her I'd only take a calendar of all him and maybe the other 3 guys as well. Nah. I really wouldn't.
I also saw this calendar while I was looking. I laughed for a good 10 minutes.
I don't remember where, but in some interview I had read one time with the Sitch, he said his parents pushed for him to either become a cop or a fireman. A fireman? *head explodes*
You know what the even sadder part of this whole, um, situation is? Even if he was just some random shithead on the street and not a famous shithead, I'd probably still hit it. Thinking back to some of the douchebags I'd have screwed in high school, there are quite a bit of similarities, including the whole being Italian and the massive amounts of douchiness. I was surprised to read in the Men's Fitness article that he was a football player. He puts me more in the mind of a basketball player. Again, most of the douchebags I crushed on were also football players.
Ugh. Apparently, I just have lousy taste in men. Maybe I do have a long time thing for these guido idiots. Well, I can hope my taste in women is a little better than men.
I was on D-Listed earlier and one of the topics, everyone was discussing people who shouldn't be parents and one poster posted every single reason why she would not be a good mother. I don't get why people still get on me for not wanting to be a mother. I would not make a good one. I could stand here and try to convince myself that I would, but I know deep down that I would not. For cripes sake, I made myself soup yesterday and when I opened the cabinet and found that the crackers had been finished off and I had none left for my soup, I got so pissed and threw such a fit, that I almost took the container of oatmeal I had taken out of the closet and threw it across the room. Was it a necessary reaction? Certainly not. And this happens repeatedly.
I never react to things the way I should. I always blow up over the stupidest things. I live in fear everyday that one of these days someone is really going to push my buttons and I am going to physically hurt someone. I have never physically gone after someone else (generally when I am angry, it's me I hurt), but I am so scared that one of these days I am going to.
I need anger management. BAD.
Video Of The Day
A wrong, but hilarious sounding Count:
(If I could only explain how long I have been looking for a clip of this)
(If I could only explain how long I have been looking for a clip of this)
Friday, November 26, 2010
Fun With Google Suggestions
I was simplying Googling if Coldplay would ever release a greatest hits CD and Google offered me their suggestions and this (the one with the red arrow next to it) made me laugh:
Coldplay is not the only satanic thing around:
Google is apparently a lot of things:
Including dead:
And the grand prize winner....
Coldplay is not the only satanic thing around:
Google is apparently a lot of things:
Including dead:
And the grand prize winner....
Quote Of The Day
Peter's call out of work excuse from "Mr. Griffin Goes To Washington":
Mr. Weed? It's Peter Griffin. I can't come to work today. I was in a terrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable. I'll see you tomorrow.Whether that is the correct quote or not is beyond me. Finding exact quotes on the internet when you do not have the actual episode in front of you is almost impossible. Anyway, that is a brilliant excuse, although not as brilliant as his response when he is caught by Mr. Weed:
Oh, yeah, yeah, that plane crash I told you about? It turned out to be gas.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Random Thoughts
Happy Turkey Day! Hope everyone gobbled till they wobbled. I know I certainly did. Ugh. The holidays. Look, I love my family to death, but for the love of God, they drive me up the fucking wall! I think that if I were not so obsessed over every calorie that goes into my body, I would be passed out drunk in the house somewhere. I can't tell you how many times today I got comments like "skinny bitch" and "skinny mini" and "look how skinny you are!". I am so fucking sick and tired of people telling me how skinny I am. I am 5'3 and 1/4 (according to the last time I was measured, which was at my trip to the gyno) and I was 129 pounds when I got on the scale today. Why does no one seem to get that in my eyes that is not skinny? On another person? Probably. Not on me, though. Then again, I could be 85 pounds and that would not good enough for me.
Gee. I don't have any self-image problems, now do I?
I had to laugh when at one point my sister, who I would like to think was joking, turns to me and says, "you know, the bridesmaid should not be skinnier than the bride on her wedding day". Yes. Because God forbid I actually have an advantage over her for once. I mean in general, not on her wedding day. I don't give a shit what I look like compared to her on her wedding day. No, it's the fact that I am thinner than her and that apparently is unacceptable. She already has plenty of advantages over me and she can't just fucking let me be thinner than her.
And I just love how whenever I do anything to lose or maintain my weight, like measure my food or exercise or whatever, I get told I am "obsessed" and "being plain ridiculous". My sister all of a sudden decides to start some treadmill running program a doctor she works with told her to do (she won't listen to me that running is bad for already bad knees, so when she fucks up her knee worse, frankly, I won't feel one bit sorry for her) and does anyone tell her she is being ridiculous? Nooooo. Of course not. It always makes me laugh how everyone gets all pissy at my methods, but then gets pissy with me for being thinner than them. Well, why do you think that is?
And I love, absolutely love, my grandparents with all of my heart, but five minutes with them and my stress levels are through the roof. My grandfather gets set off at the slightest thing (hm, sound familiar?) and will start screaming. My grandmother can't hear for anything and refuses to get a hearing aid because it will make her look older than she already looks (she is 82 years old; I don't know how young she expects to look) and you will be in the middle of a conversation with someone and she will just interrupt it and you can't say anything because then she will get angry and guilt trip you. Oh, and no one's problems are ever as bad as hers. My mom gets stressed out with them too and will constantly say to me to shoot her when she gets old or starts acting like that. I am still trying to figure out how to tell her that she already does.
Oh and I am really, REALLY starting to get tired of the double standards every where I go. At home. At work, where everyone has their own set of rules. My mother can bitch about my father and if I make a same complaint, she gets all defensive on him. I got pissed on Wednesday night because he got up from the table after dinner and went into the living room and sat on his fat ass and watched TV (gee, there is a new scene) and what does she say? Oh he usually helps! Um, she knows damn fucking well he does not! I always end up doing the bulk of the cleaning up after dinner, despite being the only one who now has the excuse of "working all day" (that was always everyone's defense when I bitched about him never helping cleaning up after dinner before he retired. He worked all day! He's tired! Wah!). Why do I never get to use that excuse?
I mentioned a while ago about a time when I was younger and my father came after me for simply saying that I would run away from home. Well, I forgot about a time when I was pretty little, maybe 7, and my mother had came down with a bad case of kidney stones. The whole time she was getting ready to go to the hospital, I was upset and crying because I thought something bad was going to happen to her and finally, at one point, my dad turns to me and yells "Will you stop crying? Your mother isn't going to die, alright?!". Seriously- who says that to a little kid?
Anyway....I missed seeing his performance, but I found this picture of the Situation on the ABC webpage and....where in the hell are his abs? I really don't see them in this one! Awww, is Sitch gaining weight? You know what is funny? His stats, according to Men's Fitness, are 5'11 and 185 pounds. That would make his BMI 25.8, which is technically considered slightly overweight. Now obviously he is not overweight. My stats have me at around 23, which is considered normal weight. Clearly I am more the likely candidate of being "overweight" than he is. This is why I always holler at people to never fully rely on the BMI charts. There are way too many other factors to consider, like body fat. I'd love to know my body fat percentage.
Anyway, this fat talk is boring me. I came across this the other day and....the headline took the words right out of my mouth. I could very well have a malfunctioning gaydar- I don't really know, seeing as it has never been right or wrong- but....for cripes sake.
I'd like for someone to look me in the face and say with a straight face that this picture absolutely does not set off any gaydars.
Dayum, that tanning bed picture is HOT. It makes me want to rip my clothes off and let him do me right there on that tanning bed. And for some odd reason, I want some really cheesy 80's new wave song playing, like "Relax", or "You Spin Me Around" or "Hungry Like The Wolf" blasting while engaging in said activity. Yes. Hungry like the wolf, indeed.
I think I laughed for a good 25 minutes at the comment left by Randal (second down from the top). Seventeen of those minutes alone were spent laughing at the way he addressed him.
Why the hell am I on here still? I have dishes to wash!
Gee. I don't have any self-image problems, now do I?
I had to laugh when at one point my sister, who I would like to think was joking, turns to me and says, "you know, the bridesmaid should not be skinnier than the bride on her wedding day". Yes. Because God forbid I actually have an advantage over her for once. I mean in general, not on her wedding day. I don't give a shit what I look like compared to her on her wedding day. No, it's the fact that I am thinner than her and that apparently is unacceptable. She already has plenty of advantages over me and she can't just fucking let me be thinner than her.
And I just love how whenever I do anything to lose or maintain my weight, like measure my food or exercise or whatever, I get told I am "obsessed" and "being plain ridiculous". My sister all of a sudden decides to start some treadmill running program a doctor she works with told her to do (she won't listen to me that running is bad for already bad knees, so when she fucks up her knee worse, frankly, I won't feel one bit sorry for her) and does anyone tell her she is being ridiculous? Nooooo. Of course not. It always makes me laugh how everyone gets all pissy at my methods, but then gets pissy with me for being thinner than them. Well, why do you think that is?
And I love, absolutely love, my grandparents with all of my heart, but five minutes with them and my stress levels are through the roof. My grandfather gets set off at the slightest thing (hm, sound familiar?) and will start screaming. My grandmother can't hear for anything and refuses to get a hearing aid because it will make her look older than she already looks (she is 82 years old; I don't know how young she expects to look) and you will be in the middle of a conversation with someone and she will just interrupt it and you can't say anything because then she will get angry and guilt trip you. Oh, and no one's problems are ever as bad as hers. My mom gets stressed out with them too and will constantly say to me to shoot her when she gets old or starts acting like that. I am still trying to figure out how to tell her that she already does.
Oh and I am really, REALLY starting to get tired of the double standards every where I go. At home. At work, where everyone has their own set of rules. My mother can bitch about my father and if I make a same complaint, she gets all defensive on him. I got pissed on Wednesday night because he got up from the table after dinner and went into the living room and sat on his fat ass and watched TV (gee, there is a new scene) and what does she say? Oh he usually helps! Um, she knows damn fucking well he does not! I always end up doing the bulk of the cleaning up after dinner, despite being the only one who now has the excuse of "working all day" (that was always everyone's defense when I bitched about him never helping cleaning up after dinner before he retired. He worked all day! He's tired! Wah!). Why do I never get to use that excuse?
I mentioned a while ago about a time when I was younger and my father came after me for simply saying that I would run away from home. Well, I forgot about a time when I was pretty little, maybe 7, and my mother had came down with a bad case of kidney stones. The whole time she was getting ready to go to the hospital, I was upset and crying because I thought something bad was going to happen to her and finally, at one point, my dad turns to me and yells "Will you stop crying? Your mother isn't going to die, alright?!". Seriously- who says that to a little kid?
Anyway....I missed seeing his performance, but I found this picture of the Situation on the ABC webpage and....where in the hell are his abs? I really don't see them in this one! Awww, is Sitch gaining weight? You know what is funny? His stats, according to Men's Fitness, are 5'11 and 185 pounds. That would make his BMI 25.8, which is technically considered slightly overweight. Now obviously he is not overweight. My stats have me at around 23, which is considered normal weight. Clearly I am more the likely candidate of being "overweight" than he is. This is why I always holler at people to never fully rely on the BMI charts. There are way too many other factors to consider, like body fat. I'd love to know my body fat percentage.
Anyway, this fat talk is boring me. I came across this the other day and....the headline took the words right out of my mouth. I could very well have a malfunctioning gaydar- I don't really know, seeing as it has never been right or wrong- but....for cripes sake.
I'd like for someone to look me in the face and say with a straight face that this picture absolutely does not set off any gaydars.
Dayum, that tanning bed picture is HOT. It makes me want to rip my clothes off and let him do me right there on that tanning bed. And for some odd reason, I want some really cheesy 80's new wave song playing, like "Relax", or "You Spin Me Around" or "Hungry Like The Wolf" blasting while engaging in said activity. Yes. Hungry like the wolf, indeed.
I think I laughed for a good 25 minutes at the comment left by Randal (second down from the top). Seventeen of those minutes alone were spent laughing at the way he addressed him.
Why the hell am I on here still? I have dishes to wash!
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From one of my favorite writers on Cracked.com:
I'm definitely glad I brought my good jacket. It is stupid cold tonight. My penis has retracted so far inside my body, that I've got myself pregnant.I don't know who this Chris Bucholz kid is, but I want to marry him.Man that would be an ugly baby.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From Bender's Game:
And one of my absolute favorite parts:
[Scene: Zoidberg's Office. Leela lays on a bed while Zoidberg examines an X-Ray.]
Zoidberg: Well, here's your problem, right here. You've got a skull embedded in your head.
[Cut to Hermaphrobot screwing her left breast in place under a street light. Bender falls in front of her, gets up and pulls a sword out from his chest.]
Bender: On guard, man-wench! Prepare to cross blades.Hermaphrobot: You couldn't afford it, honey. [She snaps her fingers.]
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Random Thoughts
Man, I don't know what the hell crawled up my ass and died this week, but I have been one miserable cow. Every single day I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and was cranky as hell. Well, I have a smidgen of an idea of what is making me cranky, but as of right now it is just heresay, but if it is true, I am going to scream. I can't freaking go through this again. I doubt it is PMS, although you never know, since it likes to come whenever it pleases.
My- shocker- stomach isn't helping much. My regimen right now is acidophilus (2 billion CFUs), sawdust- er, Konsyl, and 3 Colace pills a day. And I am still not having any luck. What in the hell is going on in there? I really do not get it. It is like my digestive system does not even function. The only thing I really have any type of success with is Miralax and I am hesitant on starting that as a long term regimen. My next resort is maybe trying a chiropractor.
I just finished watching Jay Leno and the Sitch was on and....seriously, he needs to just not talk. And the whole time he was sitting, he sat with his legs spread wide open. Yes, dirty thoughts were flying through my head, but you do not sit on national television like that. I felt like busting out my megaphone* and climbing in my TV and hollering at him to speak properly and to close his legs. I want to both fuck his brains out and pop a cap in his ass. God, he is so freaking annoying!
*I do not actually own one, but I always dream of owning one. There is something about yelling into a megaphone that excites the hell out of me. In fact, I always want to join a rowing team just so I can sit in the front and scream at everyone to ROW! ROW! ROW!
And doesn't he wook just woh so aworable all dressed up in a suit and tie?! I just wanna pinch his cheeks and bring him home to Mommy! *giving side eye to the screen* But what is up with the pose? He is poised all perfect and gentleman like (lol- he's got girl hands). And we all know he is the furthest thing from a gentleman there is. *narrows eyes* WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?!
We received the new issue of Men's Fitness in work last Friday and naturally I was excited and when I showed it to one of my co-workers, she says "aw, you too?! He even corrupts the good girls!". I really have no explanation for why I find him hot. I blame it on being sexually frustrated. I brutally vilified him until I became sexually frustrated. One hundred percent of the time I saw him in a magazine, I made a face until one day I happened to see a picture of him and all I could think was good god, I'd hit it. And really, he has a decent body, but his abs are not that great. They're just....weird looking. I mean, I see pictures where he looks like a normally ripped guy and then I see others (more often than not) where I am like, what the fuck is he doing when he is training? I saw one picture one time where he was lifting his shirt up and he was kinda standing on an angle and the first thing I thought was, holy jesus, his stomach looks like mine when I am having intestinal issues! His lower abdomen was kinda sticking out all funny.
I see better abs on the beach.
I went on the Body Building forum one day to find what any body builders might have to say about his physique. There were only about a gazillion pages and since even my life is not that ridiculously pathetic to sit and go through all of them, I ended up only finding one actual post on him. And out of all of the postings in regards to the original posting (complete with picture), the one that interested me the most was "Is he wearing makeup?". So I went back up to the original posting with the picture and you know what? I seriously think he is. Add in the giant studs in each ear and....oy vey. He looks a like a drag queen before the full ensemble is put together.
Jesus Christmas. Could you imagine? He already has the chick pants wearing thing down.... actually, you know what? I would be very interested in seeing that. It would probably be one of those things that would be so fucking hideous, it would be tear inducingly beautiful.
Ugh, every single time I think of him in those pants, I lol, then cringe.
It is freaking ridiculous how much I want and need to get laid right now. I really believe I would be less high strung if someone would just fuck me! I did my usual thing the other day to have an orgasm and every time I would come close, I'd pull back to keep building the tension and man, once it hit....OH MY YES! And then something unusual happened afterwards that has never happened before....I cried! Because I realized how much I wanted to share that excitement with someone else.
Man, I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week already. You wouldn't know it, though, with the overload of Christmas already. Ah. Christmas. The time when all of us heathen Godless baby-killing homo-loving libruls* join together to take down Christmas by saying happy holidays.
*anyone who does not want to have a three way with Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Sarah
I lol'd at this picture and then I realized that the printer is the same exact ones we have in work. And ours are constantly breaking down. This one made me laugh as well. I can't believe how many comments busted on it. I think it is hilarious. I like the strategically placed hammer.
Speaking of funny shit, what in the hell ever happened to Tony Sinclair? The guy with the huge gap in his teeth in the Tanqueray gin commercials? He was hilarious!
My- shocker- stomach isn't helping much. My regimen right now is acidophilus (2 billion CFUs), sawdust- er, Konsyl, and 3 Colace pills a day. And I am still not having any luck. What in the hell is going on in there? I really do not get it. It is like my digestive system does not even function. The only thing I really have any type of success with is Miralax and I am hesitant on starting that as a long term regimen. My next resort is maybe trying a chiropractor.
I just finished watching Jay Leno and the Sitch was on and....seriously, he needs to just not talk. And the whole time he was sitting, he sat with his legs spread wide open. Yes, dirty thoughts were flying through my head, but you do not sit on national television like that. I felt like busting out my megaphone* and climbing in my TV and hollering at him to speak properly and to close his legs. I want to both fuck his brains out and pop a cap in his ass. God, he is so freaking annoying!
*I do not actually own one, but I always dream of owning one. There is something about yelling into a megaphone that excites the hell out of me. In fact, I always want to join a rowing team just so I can sit in the front and scream at everyone to ROW! ROW! ROW!
And doesn't he wook just woh so aworable all dressed up in a suit and tie?! I just wanna pinch his cheeks and bring him home to Mommy! *giving side eye to the screen* But what is up with the pose? He is poised all perfect and gentleman like (lol- he's got girl hands). And we all know he is the furthest thing from a gentleman there is. *narrows eyes* WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?!
We received the new issue of Men's Fitness in work last Friday and naturally I was excited and when I showed it to one of my co-workers, she says "aw, you too?! He even corrupts the good girls!". I really have no explanation for why I find him hot. I blame it on being sexually frustrated. I brutally vilified him until I became sexually frustrated. One hundred percent of the time I saw him in a magazine, I made a face until one day I happened to see a picture of him and all I could think was good god, I'd hit it. And really, he has a decent body, but his abs are not that great. They're just....weird looking. I mean, I see pictures where he looks like a normally ripped guy and then I see others (more often than not) where I am like, what the fuck is he doing when he is training? I saw one picture one time where he was lifting his shirt up and he was kinda standing on an angle and the first thing I thought was, holy jesus, his stomach looks like mine when I am having intestinal issues! His lower abdomen was kinda sticking out all funny.
I see better abs on the beach.
I went on the Body Building forum one day to find what any body builders might have to say about his physique. There were only about a gazillion pages and since even my life is not that ridiculously pathetic to sit and go through all of them, I ended up only finding one actual post on him. And out of all of the postings in regards to the original posting (complete with picture), the one that interested me the most was "Is he wearing makeup?". So I went back up to the original posting with the picture and you know what? I seriously think he is. Add in the giant studs in each ear and....oy vey. He looks a like a drag queen before the full ensemble is put together.
Jesus Christmas. Could you imagine? He already has the chick pants wearing thing down.... actually, you know what? I would be very interested in seeing that. It would probably be one of those things that would be so fucking hideous, it would be tear inducingly beautiful.
Ugh, every single time I think of him in those pants, I lol, then cringe.
It is freaking ridiculous how much I want and need to get laid right now. I really believe I would be less high strung if someone would just fuck me! I did my usual thing the other day to have an orgasm and every time I would come close, I'd pull back to keep building the tension and man, once it hit....OH MY YES! And then something unusual happened afterwards that has never happened before....I cried! Because I realized how much I wanted to share that excitement with someone else.
Man, I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week already. You wouldn't know it, though, with the overload of Christmas already. Ah. Christmas. The time when all of us heathen Godless baby-killing homo-loving libruls* join together to take down Christmas by saying happy holidays.
*anyone who does not want to have a three way with Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Sarah
I lol'd at this picture and then I realized that the printer is the same exact ones we have in work. And ours are constantly breaking down. This one made me laugh as well. I can't believe how many comments busted on it. I think it is hilarious. I like the strategically placed hammer.
Speaking of funny shit, what in the hell ever happened to Tony Sinclair? The guy with the huge gap in his teeth in the Tanqueray gin commercials? He was hilarious!
Friday, November 19, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Random Thoughts
Man, did I have a wake up on the wrong side of the bed day.
UGH! Talk about Christmas overload! Since Hallow-heen, I have been bombarded with Christmas stuff everywhere! Why do I not remember it ever being this bad? A few days after Hallow-heen, I heard the Gus second most famous groundhog in Pennsylvania commercial where he sings about dashing through the snow careful on the ice and then a few minutes later, the Pennsylvania lottery one comes blasting on (you know, and best wishes from the lottery). It's crazy. Santa is already at the mall. Christmas music is playing in the mall and in Kohl's. I want to scream.
I adore Christmas. And yet, every year it rolls around, I get so overwhelmingly depressed, I can't enjoy it. The first time I saw Christmas decorations popping up, I felt like sitting on the floor in the middle of the store (I think it was Target) and sobbing.
Not that anyone particularly gives a crap, and I am definitely venturing into TMI territory, but I went to the gynocologist for the first time in about 4 years yesterday. I had to wait over 2 freaking hours. Surprisingly, it took about an hour and 45 minutes before I started getting hostile. I hate going to the gynocologist. It hurts so goddamn bad every time I go. The doctor even used the smallest speculum in the office and I still almost hit the roof. I remember the very first time I ever went to the gynocologist, my mom was all like oh it's not that bad it doesn't hurt that much. As soon as the doctor placed the speculum in me, I almost screamed loud enough to be heard across the Atlantic Ocean. The whoe time during my exam yesterday, all I kept thinking was, how in the HELL am I ever supposed to have sex if this hurts me so fucking bad?
When it comes to medical malpractice, I am always one of the first in line to defend doctors. It is called practicing medicine and people just place way too much trust in doctors curing every single thing that ails them. They are not miracle workers. But anymore, when looking at medical paperwork day in and day out, I am really starting to see why doctors fuck up! It astonishes me how many mistakes I see a day. Wrong dates, no names on papers, no dates on prescriptions, ineligible handwriting (I know doctors are well known for having terrible handwriting, but I cannot believe just how bad some doctors write). Is it really that fucking difficult to write a date- A COMPLETE FULLY LEGIBLE DATE WITH MONTH, DAY, and CORRECT YEAR- on a paper?
People make my head hurt. They really do. I swear, I always have this feeling that if I were to ever end up commiting suicide, I would not be depressed when I do it.
It astonishes me how some people in this world are just ridden with bad luck. I have heard bits and parts on that Zahra Baker story and man, that girl was just dealt one shitty hand in life, only to have it end shitty as well. People are always all up with their karma crap and their "everything happens for a reason", but what things did this young girl do to deserve all this? What is the reason for her to have had to deal with all of this shit and then to be murdered? My answer to that? She was killed because she is better off being dead then to live in this shitty ass world with those psycho ass people and waiting on society to do something to help her out.
I just finished reading Alex Cross's Trial and the whole story made me sick. The descriptions of lynching made me want to vomit. What in the hell ever possessed someone in the past to ever decide that white people were superior?
I read an article a while back about a woman who had stayed in a shit hole- sorry, psychiatric facility for the uber-politically correct- and was ashamed to admit it to people for the longest time. I try to forget ever having to stay in one, but I am not ashamed to admit it. Obviously, it is not something I go bragging about or telling just anyone, but generally when I feel comfortable enough around someone, I will admit to it. My mom is always getting on me that I shouldn't go around telling people about it, but why shouldn't I? Why should I be ashamed? I was sick. I was sick due to medicine that was supposed to be making me better. Medicine that everyone who doesn't know anything likes to tout as wonderful.
I cannot even begin to explain the rage I feel whenever someone asks me why don't I take antidepressants to feel better. Uh, because there is a little thing called "antidepressants can actually make everything worse"! And just like the whole constipation help thing, people like to offer assinine advice that I have already tried:
- You need to try other psychiatric medications. I have- about 9 different ones, including 3 antipsychotics and 1 mood stabilizer
- You have to give it time. I have- a year is the average amount of time I have stayed on a psychiatric drug, except in the case of Wellbutrin and 2 of the antipsychotics
Going back to being sick, my sister was still living at home when I was sick. She was always trying to get me to go out or exercise or whatever with her and I just was not with it enough to do so. And to this day, she still likes to throw it back in my face. I have had enough of it being thrown back in my face and I am telling you right now- the next time she brings it up again will be the last.
While I have been doing it for many years, something I am starting to notice is how I have no backbone when a strange person attacks me, yet if my family slights me, I fly off the handle and have almost no problem letting loose everything I want to say.
We just recently had to get these new cable boxes and every time I change the channel, it freezes for a moment. It was irritating as hell until I realized almost every time I put a channel on, the freezing makes someone have a derp face for a few seconds. I laughed until I almost passed out.
UGH! Talk about Christmas overload! Since Hallow-heen, I have been bombarded with Christmas stuff everywhere! Why do I not remember it ever being this bad? A few days after Hallow-heen, I heard the Gus second most famous groundhog in Pennsylvania commercial where he sings about dashing through the snow careful on the ice and then a few minutes later, the Pennsylvania lottery one comes blasting on (you know, and best wishes from the lottery). It's crazy. Santa is already at the mall. Christmas music is playing in the mall and in Kohl's. I want to scream.
I adore Christmas. And yet, every year it rolls around, I get so overwhelmingly depressed, I can't enjoy it. The first time I saw Christmas decorations popping up, I felt like sitting on the floor in the middle of the store (I think it was Target) and sobbing.
Not that anyone particularly gives a crap, and I am definitely venturing into TMI territory, but I went to the gynocologist for the first time in about 4 years yesterday. I had to wait over 2 freaking hours. Surprisingly, it took about an hour and 45 minutes before I started getting hostile. I hate going to the gynocologist. It hurts so goddamn bad every time I go. The doctor even used the smallest speculum in the office and I still almost hit the roof. I remember the very first time I ever went to the gynocologist, my mom was all like oh it's not that bad it doesn't hurt that much. As soon as the doctor placed the speculum in me, I almost screamed loud enough to be heard across the Atlantic Ocean. The whoe time during my exam yesterday, all I kept thinking was, how in the HELL am I ever supposed to have sex if this hurts me so fucking bad?
When it comes to medical malpractice, I am always one of the first in line to defend doctors. It is called practicing medicine and people just place way too much trust in doctors curing every single thing that ails them. They are not miracle workers. But anymore, when looking at medical paperwork day in and day out, I am really starting to see why doctors fuck up! It astonishes me how many mistakes I see a day. Wrong dates, no names on papers, no dates on prescriptions, ineligible handwriting (I know doctors are well known for having terrible handwriting, but I cannot believe just how bad some doctors write). Is it really that fucking difficult to write a date- A COMPLETE FULLY LEGIBLE DATE WITH MONTH, DAY, and CORRECT YEAR- on a paper?
People make my head hurt. They really do. I swear, I always have this feeling that if I were to ever end up commiting suicide, I would not be depressed when I do it.
It astonishes me how some people in this world are just ridden with bad luck. I have heard bits and parts on that Zahra Baker story and man, that girl was just dealt one shitty hand in life, only to have it end shitty as well. People are always all up with their karma crap and their "everything happens for a reason", but what things did this young girl do to deserve all this? What is the reason for her to have had to deal with all of this shit and then to be murdered? My answer to that? She was killed because she is better off being dead then to live in this shitty ass world with those psycho ass people and waiting on society to do something to help her out.
I just finished reading Alex Cross's Trial and the whole story made me sick. The descriptions of lynching made me want to vomit. What in the hell ever possessed someone in the past to ever decide that white people were superior?
I read an article a while back about a woman who had stayed in a shit hole- sorry, psychiatric facility for the uber-politically correct- and was ashamed to admit it to people for the longest time. I try to forget ever having to stay in one, but I am not ashamed to admit it. Obviously, it is not something I go bragging about or telling just anyone, but generally when I feel comfortable enough around someone, I will admit to it. My mom is always getting on me that I shouldn't go around telling people about it, but why shouldn't I? Why should I be ashamed? I was sick. I was sick due to medicine that was supposed to be making me better. Medicine that everyone who doesn't know anything likes to tout as wonderful.
I cannot even begin to explain the rage I feel whenever someone asks me why don't I take antidepressants to feel better. Uh, because there is a little thing called "antidepressants can actually make everything worse"! And just like the whole constipation help thing, people like to offer assinine advice that I have already tried:
- You need to try other psychiatric medications. I have- about 9 different ones, including 3 antipsychotics and 1 mood stabilizer
- You have to give it time. I have- a year is the average amount of time I have stayed on a psychiatric drug, except in the case of Wellbutrin and 2 of the antipsychotics
Going back to being sick, my sister was still living at home when I was sick. She was always trying to get me to go out or exercise or whatever with her and I just was not with it enough to do so. And to this day, she still likes to throw it back in my face. I have had enough of it being thrown back in my face and I am telling you right now- the next time she brings it up again will be the last.
While I have been doing it for many years, something I am starting to notice is how I have no backbone when a strange person attacks me, yet if my family slights me, I fly off the handle and have almost no problem letting loose everything I want to say.
We just recently had to get these new cable boxes and every time I change the channel, it freezes for a moment. It was irritating as hell until I realized almost every time I put a channel on, the freezing makes someone have a derp face for a few seconds. I laughed until I almost passed out.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
The Awesome Of The Day
Sheer Awesomeness Halloween Edition: Iiiiiiiiii Dooooooooo - WEDINATOR - Funny Wedding Photos
WHAT IS THIS?! Wow. I....I am absolutely speechless.
Okay, now I can have my tween girl at a Justin Bieber concert moment.....*flaps hands excitedly* ZOMG! THAT IS THE MOST FUCKING AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!
WHAT IS THIS?! Wow. I....I am absolutely speechless.
Okay, now I can have my tween girl at a Justin Bieber concert moment.....*flaps hands excitedly* ZOMG! THAT IS THE MOST FUCKING AWESOME THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Video Of The Day
YouTube - Green Day - Working Class Hero (Video)
I love the line "they hate if you're clever and despise a fool". Makes me think of Tea Partiers.
I love the line "they hate if you're clever and despise a fool". Makes me think of Tea Partiers.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Webpage Of The Day
All I know is I want a job in one of these offices:
- Work Fails & Job LOLs - Monday Through Friday
I have never worked in an office where people did crazy ass shit like this. The most exciting thing I ever saw in my current workplace is when a coworker printed out a picture of a paralegal from one of the lawfirms we deal with who is apparently a real cow and gave her devil horns. The most exciting thing I ever heard was when our records custodian laid out an elaborate plan to get himself workers comp (he'd trip over that box, hit his head on that shelf, break his arm on the other, etc). I still laugh hysterically everytime I think of him saying that.
I go on this page when I am at work during my lunch break, but I realized that maybe that it is not such a good idea. If "the man" is watching whatever sites I go to, things like this and this might start giving them ideas on how to become even bigger cheapskates.
- Work Fails & Job LOLs - Monday Through Friday
I have never worked in an office where people did crazy ass shit like this. The most exciting thing I ever saw in my current workplace is when a coworker printed out a picture of a paralegal from one of the lawfirms we deal with who is apparently a real cow and gave her devil horns. The most exciting thing I ever heard was when our records custodian laid out an elaborate plan to get himself workers comp (he'd trip over that box, hit his head on that shelf, break his arm on the other, etc). I still laugh hysterically everytime I think of him saying that.
I go on this page when I am at work during my lunch break, but I realized that maybe that it is not such a good idea. If "the man" is watching whatever sites I go to, things like this and this might start giving them ideas on how to become even bigger cheapskates.
The Awesome Of The Day
How do I spell Homer Simpson's drooling? | Chicago | Yelp
Truly a real issue.
The kid I used to babysit for and I debated over this one day and after much brain using, we just came to the conclusion that it was "glahhhhhhhhh".
Truly a real issue.
The kid I used to babysit for and I debated over this one day and after much brain using, we just came to the conclusion that it was "glahhhhhhhhh".
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Video Of The Day
I could watch this video over and over again and just laugh my ass off:
From 1:26 are the absolute funniest dances.
From 1:26 are the absolute funniest dances.
Quote Of The Day
From "A Big Piece Of Garbage":
Wernstrom: I've waited a hundred years for this, Farnsworth. I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: an A minus....MINUS!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
It's Pity Party Time!
I don't know what is going on with me lately, but once again, I am feeling miserable.
While I still believe I am riding on a high, I keep having these moments where I just get so goddamn frigging miserable and irritable and I just....well, I have these moments where I just wish I had the guts to take a gun and blow my brains out. I also keep getting this bizarre feeling of....well, it's hard to describe. Almost like I am separating from myself, almost like a depersonalization, and it freaks me the hell out. It also is starting to make me really fearful that I am heading even further down the path to Crazytown.
I am just tired of everything. I am tired of being such a stuck up, anal retentive, jealous prude. I am tired of being such a good little girl who never drinks or engages in sex. I can't even flirt. The minute I am around a cute guy, my brain makes like Elvis and leaves the building.
There are these guys that come into my workplace once or twice a week and one day, one of them kept teasing me. I briefly wondered if maybe he was flirting with me, but then I came to reason and said no. Who the hell would? He is cute. And now every time I see him, I get extremely bashful and all I want to do is pull my shirt over my head because I feel so hideous.
I hate when I complain about things bothering me and everyone just tells me to brush it off and not let it bother me. Look, I feel worthless enough as it is and anymore, I am really and truly starting to depise meeting new people. Any time I go to any kind of party or something and am introduced to new people, the first thing out of 95% of the people's mouths is, "oh is this the nurse?" (and oh joy! now I am getting "is this the one engaged to be married?" as well) and as soon as I or someone says no, then the person I am being introduced to moves on. It's like oh we can't be bothered with her. No questions on my life or anything. It makes me feel like absolute crap. I feel pretty insignificant as it is. Honestly, I don't particularly care to discuss my life with others because there really is nothing terribly exciting about it, but it would be nice to feel like someone gives some kind of damn about my life. I hardly give a damn about it.
I went to some Italian American shinding on Sunday and naturally, the above happened. Repeatedly. I think my sister picked up on it making me feel like crap and she starts saying she doesn't understand what the big stink is about being a nurse and people would be more interested in hearing about being an x-ray tech or radiation therapist. It failed at making me feel any better.
And I am so fucking fed up with my stomach. I want to scream. It sounds like a minute problem, but when it gets bad enough, a bad stomach can affect almost everything. I don't think anyone without stomach problems (and hell, even some of those with them, e.g. my mom and my sister) can quite grasp exactly how much a bad stomach can affect your quality of life. I flipped out the other day and said "couldn't I live without my intestines?" and my mom said no. Why not? I mean, obviously I know one cannot live without intestines, but....mine barely function anyway! Would it really make a big fucking difference? I am about to just not eat period.
And work is driving me bananas. I swear, I don't know where people get their work ethics nowadays. We have workers who come in and leave whenever they damn well feel like it. A girl who I am kind of friends with, everyday something is always wrong and she wishes she could have called out and she is always wanting to try to leave early and make up the time another day. She left at 3:30 yesterday and I did not see her make up the time today. She was going to try to leave early again today. She never comes in on time and always has some excuse for it. Maybe I am too anal, but pisses me off. These people are given a specific shift and therefore should work it! I come in every day at the same time and leave the same time, give or take a few minutes and depending on what time I clocked in, since god forbid we have a little overtime.
While I still believe I am riding on a high, I keep having these moments where I just get so goddamn frigging miserable and irritable and I just....well, I have these moments where I just wish I had the guts to take a gun and blow my brains out. I also keep getting this bizarre feeling of....well, it's hard to describe. Almost like I am separating from myself, almost like a depersonalization, and it freaks me the hell out. It also is starting to make me really fearful that I am heading even further down the path to Crazytown.
I am just tired of everything. I am tired of being such a stuck up, anal retentive, jealous prude. I am tired of being such a good little girl who never drinks or engages in sex. I can't even flirt. The minute I am around a cute guy, my brain makes like Elvis and leaves the building.
There are these guys that come into my workplace once or twice a week and one day, one of them kept teasing me. I briefly wondered if maybe he was flirting with me, but then I came to reason and said no. Who the hell would? He is cute. And now every time I see him, I get extremely bashful and all I want to do is pull my shirt over my head because I feel so hideous.
I hate when I complain about things bothering me and everyone just tells me to brush it off and not let it bother me. Look, I feel worthless enough as it is and anymore, I am really and truly starting to depise meeting new people. Any time I go to any kind of party or something and am introduced to new people, the first thing out of 95% of the people's mouths is, "oh is this the nurse?" (and oh joy! now I am getting "is this the one engaged to be married?" as well) and as soon as I or someone says no, then the person I am being introduced to moves on. It's like oh we can't be bothered with her. No questions on my life or anything. It makes me feel like absolute crap. I feel pretty insignificant as it is. Honestly, I don't particularly care to discuss my life with others because there really is nothing terribly exciting about it, but it would be nice to feel like someone gives some kind of damn about my life. I hardly give a damn about it.
I went to some Italian American shinding on Sunday and naturally, the above happened. Repeatedly. I think my sister picked up on it making me feel like crap and she starts saying she doesn't understand what the big stink is about being a nurse and people would be more interested in hearing about being an x-ray tech or radiation therapist. It failed at making me feel any better.
And I am so fucking fed up with my stomach. I want to scream. It sounds like a minute problem, but when it gets bad enough, a bad stomach can affect almost everything. I don't think anyone without stomach problems (and hell, even some of those with them, e.g. my mom and my sister) can quite grasp exactly how much a bad stomach can affect your quality of life. I flipped out the other day and said "couldn't I live without my intestines?" and my mom said no. Why not? I mean, obviously I know one cannot live without intestines, but....mine barely function anyway! Would it really make a big fucking difference? I am about to just not eat period.
And work is driving me bananas. I swear, I don't know where people get their work ethics nowadays. We have workers who come in and leave whenever they damn well feel like it. A girl who I am kind of friends with, everyday something is always wrong and she wishes she could have called out and she is always wanting to try to leave early and make up the time another day. She left at 3:30 yesterday and I did not see her make up the time today. She was going to try to leave early again today. She never comes in on time and always has some excuse for it. Maybe I am too anal, but pisses me off. These people are given a specific shift and therefore should work it! I come in every day at the same time and leave the same time, give or take a few minutes and depending on what time I clocked in, since god forbid we have a little overtime.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Picture Of The Day
If this picture does not make you melt, you have no soul:
It’s Okay, Momma’s Got You! - Daily Squee - Cute Baby Animal
It’s Okay, Momma’s Got You! - Daily Squee - Cute Baby Animal
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Video Of The Day
I do not know it's true meaning, but judging by what I get out of it, a song that is always like a punch to the gut everytime I listen to it...."Breaking The Habit" by Linkin Park:
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From "A Big Piece Of Garbage":
Fry: Pine needles. Oh, man, this is great! Hey, as long as you don't make me smell Uranus. [laughs]
Leela: I don't get it.
Farnsworth: I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
Fry: Oh. What's it called now?
Farnsworth: Urectum. Here, let me locate it for you.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
The WTF Of The Day
Out of curiosity, I went on my Facebook page and went under "Discover Facebook Pages". For some reason, Facebook is suggesting "I Love Being Black". Um, I would. If I was black!
Then I scrolled down a little further and found something absolutely terrifying- Sarah Palin! How dare Facebook suggest I become a fan of her. And then Glenn Beck as well!
Ugh. The nerve! *stomps off grumbling under breath*
Then I scrolled down a little further and found something absolutely terrifying- Sarah Palin! How dare Facebook suggest I become a fan of her. And then Glenn Beck as well!
Ugh. The nerve! *stomps off grumbling under breath*
Monday, November 1, 2010
Video Of The Day
"Talk" by Coldplay:
YouTube - Talk - Coldplay
It's funny how I never would have saw myself as a Coldplay fan. But there is just something I cannot put my finger on about their music that I just absolutely love.
YouTube - Talk - Coldplay
It's funny how I never would have saw myself as a Coldplay fan. But there is just something I cannot put my finger on about their music that I just absolutely love.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Random Thoughts
It should not be much of a surprise that I am my absolute own worst critic. From the time I wake up until I go to bed, I criticize myself over something, usually many things. I could list about 500 things to criticize myself over right now. I often believe others are silently criticizing me.
Yet, when someone actually does criticize me to my face, it is usually for something completely unexpected and it completely blindsides me and I think that is why I never actually defend myself. Happened to me in work the other day. I was criticized for something I did not expect to be criticized for and it left me speechless. And then I got pissed, partly for getting criticized and partly for not defending myself. AS USUAL. I can't know to do something if one does not inform me to do it. I am not a fucking mindreader. But apparently in there, you are supposed to be.
I seriously wonder how long it is going to be before 1 of 5 things happen:
1) I wind up in the nuthouse again
2) I have a heart attack
3) I have a stroke
4) a mixture of any of the above
5) all of the above
Fascinatingly enough, the last four do not scare me nearly as much as the first, although at the rate I am going, I may as well call up the nuthouse and tell them to reserve me a lifetime room. All I have to say is thank god for the deinstitutionalization movement.
Look, all workplaces are generally full of assholes and backstabbers. But this place, for such a small one, can invoke level 5 paranoia (level 10 for someone who is already kinda paranoid like me). You can't do anything in that place without having some kind of major paranoia. I can't even listen to my fucking radio without having to worry it might be annoying someone. I can't ask a question without having to worry about someone bitching about me as soon as I leave the room. I can't ask a simple question without having to worry about author-ity questioning my ability do anything. Um, isn't it better to ask a question when you aren't sure of something instead of doing something wrong? I can't even ask a couple different times or different people on how to do something if I happen to forget because each and every time I get a different answer.
I am really starting to get tired of everyone raining on my fucking parade. Every single time I am excited about something, someone in my family has to make a negative comment about it. I mentioned it before, with vacations, birthdays, and the holidays. But now it is branching out into pretty much everything. I have said a few times in the past week about being excited about the upcoming Apple Festival we go to every year at Peddler's Village and each and every time I have said something, my mom has to say "I could care less about going". I mentioned earlier about how I miss Myrtle Beach and my mom says "I don't care if I ever go there again". Look, I am not asking for anyone to share in my fucking joy, but it would just be nice for once to say I am looking forward to something and not have my family give me their negative opinions.
And yet somehow I am always the negative one! I am the one always ruining people's good moods and good times, which yes, it is true that if I am not having a good time, I have a tendency to get miserable and snippy and start taking it out on everyone else, thus ruining everyone's time. But I don't go around telling people who are excited about their upcoming birthday that oh it is just another day or totally bringing down someone's excitement.
Yes I can be very negative, but hey. Guess I learned from the best now, didn't I?
And frankly, I cannot wait until my sister's wedding is over. I am already sick of hearing about it and I am so sick of hearing my mother talk about how she is going to have a nervous breakdown.
And now I am going to be a parade rainer myself. I was on a former friend's Facebook page and she posted a picture of herself dressed as Marilyn Monroe, her and I quote "hero". What is the fascination with Marilyn Monroe? I must be the only woman on earth who does not see the fascination with her. Yes, she was gorgeous. Yes, she APPEARED to have a glamerous life. But that is the key word. Appeared. Her life was far from glamerous. It was sad and fucking depressing. What was so great about her life that I should worship this woman? What am I missing here?
Um, so anyway, I read an article over on The Superficial regarding the Situation's "book". I groaned like Homer after I read one spiel of it. And then I read this article. I have read numerous things where people, including the lead singer from Florence and the Machine, have said he was actually really nice when he was on Dancing With The Has Beens And The Why Am I Famous Agains and then you read shit like this and it's like we're talking about a totally different person.
What is with this dude? Is he insane? Multiple personalities? Schizo? Drugs? Too many 'roids, even though he insists he does not take them (bitch, please)? Did Mommy engage in some substances of the mind altering persuasion when she was pregnant with him? Or- god save us!- there's two of him? I don't understand how almost every interview I have read with him, something half intelligent comes out of his mouth and a split second later, he says something that makes me want to knee him in the nuts. One thing is for sure- this boy ain't firing on all cylinders.
I saw his little hissy fit on Dancing. He's such a freaking drama queen.
In the article with the "21 year old" girl (who I have to say gave a great verbal slap with that old man line; I lol'd)....is that a stuffed animal in the bed? He has a stuffed animal? Bwhahahaha!
I'd let him pull my hair. There isn't much I wouldn't let him do to me*, except sorry Sitch. You may think you are "the leader" and shit, but you ain't going to be the one calling the shots. Oh no. I've waited long enough to get nailed. This is my fucking game, bitch!
*as long as it is in the realms of what I consider "normal sex", which includes normal missionary, some S&M, doggy style, and although they are both extremely toeing the line of abnormalcy, anal and oral. Whatever happened to just normal sex? Nowadays you have people pissing and shitting on each other and actually *gags* licking each other's butts. Ick!
Anyway, would I read the book? No. Although I did like the part about chicken parm, the only way I would read this book is if I smoked some damn good weed. And was compensated largely. And maybe took some ecstasy, although judging by what I have read on ecstasy and how it makes people feel (and what it did to Peter), I don't think ecstasy would be particularly good for me right now. No one needs to see me slide onto the floor and take my clothes off.
I'd also consider listening to it on tape if someone with a really awesome voice read it. A few off the top of my head- Patrick Stewart, Clive Owen, James Earl Jones. Or someone like Gilbert Gottfried. Or hell, half of the cast of The Simpsons doing one of their characters (a few of my favorite voices are Mayor Quimby, Sideshow Mel, Fat Tony....oh Jesus, I could be here forever.)
I saw a Jersey Shore calender last weekend when I was out with my sister. I would take one with all of the men. Six months of the Sitch, 2 months each for the rest of them. Oh my yes.
In reality, I think the only reason I am finding any of these beefcakes attractive is due to being so sexually frustrated. I am almost 100% sure if by some strange chance I ever got to sleep with El Sitcho, I would wake up in the morning, take one look at him, and scream like Fry did when he found out he was his own grandfather. Then I'd probably sucker punch him in the face, knee him in the nuts, run home, and have a breakdown similar to everyone in the Game Fly commercials. What I would do after that, I really don't know, but it would probably involve assuming the fetal position and sobbing for at least 36 hours because I allowed this thing to deflower me.
Yeah. Imagine years from now, telling a future generation "oh Aunt Slightly Short Of Sane ended up losing her virginity to a guy who was 28 years old but looked about 43 and had a huge ego, a tiny penis, and liked to call his freaky ass looking abs, and later himself as well, "the Situation" and frequently liked to use the word situation even in, er, situations that didn't call for it. Where is he now? Beats me. Hopefu-er, probably lying dead from a steroid overdose in a gutter somewhere."
I wonder if he is looking for an official stalker. I am still holding out for someone to offer me the position of official stalker. *whistles "Private Eyes" while counting bugs*
UPDATE 11.2: The Situation's Brother Is A Lady's Man
*falls onto floor in fetal position and starts sobbing* WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT?! OH GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Wow. Batshit must be a family trait, as well as looking like you're 160 years old at a young age.
Look, I try not to go after people's looks as much as possible, because I am certainly no beauty queen, but....great Godzilla's Gonads, his brother is fucking hideous. I mean, he is not too bad when he smiles, but that first picture! That is fug of epic proportions. I can honestly say I now understand the true meaning of "recoil in horror" after looking at that picture. I have also found the answer to my previous question of who would I not sleep with right now- this dude!
I get the impression from these pictures alone that he is probably someone who goes around using the "grenade" term on women just like his baby bro does. Hey, Marc, look in the mirror sometime before you call others ugly. Seriously. He probably never does though, because I am sure they all break before he gets a chance to get a good look at himself.
Damn, now I am dying to see a recent picture of the third brother, the one who seems to maybe have inherited all of the brains in the family since he stays out of the limelight. I wonder what the hell his name is. Probably something with an M. I saw the infamous turtleneck picture and I also saw a fairly recent picture in People of the Sitch and his mom and there are two guys in the back who I would guess are his brothers. One has sunglasses on and the other reminds me a little of Vince Vaughn. The latter? I'd hit it, so I am guessing the one with the sunglasses is this beast named Marc. I have yet to see a picture of Old Man Sitch, and since Mom isn't fug like this, I am just going to go ahead and assume this extreme fugliness must come from Dad.
Yet, when someone actually does criticize me to my face, it is usually for something completely unexpected and it completely blindsides me and I think that is why I never actually defend myself. Happened to me in work the other day. I was criticized for something I did not expect to be criticized for and it left me speechless. And then I got pissed, partly for getting criticized and partly for not defending myself. AS USUAL. I can't know to do something if one does not inform me to do it. I am not a fucking mindreader. But apparently in there, you are supposed to be.
I seriously wonder how long it is going to be before 1 of 5 things happen:
1) I wind up in the nuthouse again
2) I have a heart attack
3) I have a stroke
4) a mixture of any of the above
5) all of the above
Fascinatingly enough, the last four do not scare me nearly as much as the first, although at the rate I am going, I may as well call up the nuthouse and tell them to reserve me a lifetime room. All I have to say is thank god for the deinstitutionalization movement.
Look, all workplaces are generally full of assholes and backstabbers. But this place, for such a small one, can invoke level 5 paranoia (level 10 for someone who is already kinda paranoid like me). You can't do anything in that place without having some kind of major paranoia. I can't even listen to my fucking radio without having to worry it might be annoying someone. I can't ask a question without having to worry about someone bitching about me as soon as I leave the room. I can't ask a simple question without having to worry about author-ity questioning my ability do anything. Um, isn't it better to ask a question when you aren't sure of something instead of doing something wrong? I can't even ask a couple different times or different people on how to do something if I happen to forget because each and every time I get a different answer.
I am really starting to get tired of everyone raining on my fucking parade. Every single time I am excited about something, someone in my family has to make a negative comment about it. I mentioned it before, with vacations, birthdays, and the holidays. But now it is branching out into pretty much everything. I have said a few times in the past week about being excited about the upcoming Apple Festival we go to every year at Peddler's Village and each and every time I have said something, my mom has to say "I could care less about going". I mentioned earlier about how I miss Myrtle Beach and my mom says "I don't care if I ever go there again". Look, I am not asking for anyone to share in my fucking joy, but it would just be nice for once to say I am looking forward to something and not have my family give me their negative opinions.
And yet somehow I am always the negative one! I am the one always ruining people's good moods and good times, which yes, it is true that if I am not having a good time, I have a tendency to get miserable and snippy and start taking it out on everyone else, thus ruining everyone's time. But I don't go around telling people who are excited about their upcoming birthday that oh it is just another day or totally bringing down someone's excitement.
Yes I can be very negative, but hey. Guess I learned from the best now, didn't I?
And frankly, I cannot wait until my sister's wedding is over. I am already sick of hearing about it and I am so sick of hearing my mother talk about how she is going to have a nervous breakdown.
And now I am going to be a parade rainer myself. I was on a former friend's Facebook page and she posted a picture of herself dressed as Marilyn Monroe, her and I quote "hero". What is the fascination with Marilyn Monroe? I must be the only woman on earth who does not see the fascination with her. Yes, she was gorgeous. Yes, she APPEARED to have a glamerous life. But that is the key word. Appeared. Her life was far from glamerous. It was sad and fucking depressing. What was so great about her life that I should worship this woman? What am I missing here?
Um, so anyway, I read an article over on The Superficial regarding the Situation's "book". I groaned like Homer after I read one spiel of it. And then I read this article. I have read numerous things where people, including the lead singer from Florence and the Machine, have said he was actually really nice when he was on Dancing With The Has Beens And The Why Am I Famous Agains and then you read shit like this and it's like we're talking about a totally different person.
What is with this dude? Is he insane? Multiple personalities? Schizo? Drugs? Too many 'roids, even though he insists he does not take them (bitch, please)? Did Mommy engage in some substances of the mind altering persuasion when she was pregnant with him? Or- god save us!- there's two of him? I don't understand how almost every interview I have read with him, something half intelligent comes out of his mouth and a split second later, he says something that makes me want to knee him in the nuts. One thing is for sure- this boy ain't firing on all cylinders.
I saw his little hissy fit on Dancing. He's such a freaking drama queen.
In the article with the "21 year old" girl (who I have to say gave a great verbal slap with that old man line; I lol'd)....is that a stuffed animal in the bed? He has a stuffed animal? Bwhahahaha!
I'd let him pull my hair. There isn't much I wouldn't let him do to me*, except sorry Sitch. You may think you are "the leader" and shit, but you ain't going to be the one calling the shots. Oh no. I've waited long enough to get nailed. This is my fucking game, bitch!
*as long as it is in the realms of what I consider "normal sex", which includes normal missionary, some S&M, doggy style, and although they are both extremely toeing the line of abnormalcy, anal and oral. Whatever happened to just normal sex? Nowadays you have people pissing and shitting on each other and actually *gags* licking each other's butts. Ick!
Anyway, would I read the book? No. Although I did like the part about chicken parm, the only way I would read this book is if I smoked some damn good weed. And was compensated largely. And maybe took some ecstasy, although judging by what I have read on ecstasy and how it makes people feel (and what it did to Peter), I don't think ecstasy would be particularly good for me right now. No one needs to see me slide onto the floor and take my clothes off.
I'd also consider listening to it on tape if someone with a really awesome voice read it. A few off the top of my head- Patrick Stewart, Clive Owen, James Earl Jones. Or someone like Gilbert Gottfried. Or hell, half of the cast of The Simpsons doing one of their characters (a few of my favorite voices are Mayor Quimby, Sideshow Mel, Fat Tony....oh Jesus, I could be here forever.)
I saw a Jersey Shore calender last weekend when I was out with my sister. I would take one with all of the men. Six months of the Sitch, 2 months each for the rest of them. Oh my yes.
In reality, I think the only reason I am finding any of these beefcakes attractive is due to being so sexually frustrated. I am almost 100% sure if by some strange chance I ever got to sleep with El Sitcho, I would wake up in the morning, take one look at him, and scream like Fry did when he found out he was his own grandfather. Then I'd probably sucker punch him in the face, knee him in the nuts, run home, and have a breakdown similar to everyone in the Game Fly commercials. What I would do after that, I really don't know, but it would probably involve assuming the fetal position and sobbing for at least 36 hours because I allowed this thing to deflower me.
Yeah. Imagine years from now, telling a future generation "oh Aunt Slightly Short Of Sane ended up losing her virginity to a guy who was 28 years old but looked about 43 and had a huge ego, a tiny penis, and liked to call his freaky ass looking abs, and later himself as well, "the Situation" and frequently liked to use the word situation even in, er, situations that didn't call for it. Where is he now? Beats me. Hopefu-er, probably lying dead from a steroid overdose in a gutter somewhere."
I wonder if he is looking for an official stalker. I am still holding out for someone to offer me the position of official stalker. *whistles "Private Eyes" while counting bugs*
UPDATE 11.2: The Situation's Brother Is A Lady's Man
*falls onto floor in fetal position and starts sobbing* WHAT IN THE HELL IS THAT?! OH GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE!
Wow. Batshit must be a family trait, as well as looking like you're 160 years old at a young age.
Look, I try not to go after people's looks as much as possible, because I am certainly no beauty queen, but....great Godzilla's Gonads, his brother is fucking hideous. I mean, he is not too bad when he smiles, but that first picture! That is fug of epic proportions. I can honestly say I now understand the true meaning of "recoil in horror" after looking at that picture. I have also found the answer to my previous question of who would I not sleep with right now- this dude!
I get the impression from these pictures alone that he is probably someone who goes around using the "grenade" term on women just like his baby bro does. Hey, Marc, look in the mirror sometime before you call others ugly. Seriously. He probably never does though, because I am sure they all break before he gets a chance to get a good look at himself.
Damn, now I am dying to see a recent picture of the third brother, the one who seems to maybe have inherited all of the brains in the family since he stays out of the limelight. I wonder what the hell his name is. Probably something with an M. I saw the infamous turtleneck picture and I also saw a fairly recent picture in People of the Sitch and his mom and there are two guys in the back who I would guess are his brothers. One has sunglasses on and the other reminds me a little of Vince Vaughn. The latter? I'd hit it, so I am guessing the one with the sunglasses is this beast named Marc. I have yet to see a picture of Old Man Sitch, and since Mom isn't fug like this, I am just going to go ahead and assume this extreme fugliness must come from Dad.
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