Quote Of The Day

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Wow

I was just over on D-Listed and I don't know what made me decide to go into Open Post, but I did and I found out that one of the members passed away. I wouldn't know this woman from Adam, just from reading comments of hers, but I was stunned when I read that. What a shame. Her avatar used to make me laugh. And as I am reading through the post, looking at all of the outpouring of sympathy from the members, sympathy that seems to be genuine, all I keep thinking of is that nitwit on ONTD that called D-Listers a bunch of mouth breathers.

Random Thoughts

Ugh, I am having horrible pains across my chest right now. I'd almost think it was my heart, but seeing as the pain is coming from below my belly button and spreading up into my chest area, I know it is something digestive related. It's hurting something fierce.

I really, really want to bring up something I read over on ONTD one day in regards to how different races raise their children, but I think I will just keep my mouth shut. You know how it is- even the most minute topic is never complete without one dumb ass leaving a "white people" comment. I always laugh thinking of the time someone on ONTD wrote a comment calling the people on D-Listed a bunch of "mouth-breathers". I have been reading D-Listed for almost 5 years and I have to say that the D-Listed community is probably one the most intelligent celebrity communities I have ever come across, save for the occasional troll. At least they are original. At least their comments aren't peppered with at least one of each of the following:

1. stupid acronyms that half the times don't even make sense in regards to the comment (something something post tbh- what?).
2. "[insert action] is giving me life"
3. "welp"
4. "oop" (I especially hate that one)
5. "flawless" or "flaw free"
6. "king" or "queen"
7. "BOW"
ETA 3/14: you can generally find the following as well:
8. "DYING"
9. "SCREAMING"
10. something about someone being thirsty
11. a defensive statement followed by a question mark (ex: "except she isn't?" or "but that isn't what she meant?")
12. something about slut-shaming
13. complaining about body shaming in one thread, calling Kate Upton fat in another
14. someone being "a basic bitch" or just "basic"
15. someone is "reaching"
16. "shade"
17. "werq" (da fuq?)

I didn't even notice I was starting to pull some of the stuff from there into my own vocabulary (e.g. calling Andrew "flawless" and "king"), although once I realized where it had came from, I stopped. Even if it is the truth. I even Googled something one time about the site and came across this forum and found this perfectly said comment:

That basically sums up the site. And that part about the serious fans is true. I want to not live on this planet anymore when I see some of the objects of stanning there. Hell, there is even a serious legitimate Paris Hilton stan over there. Good grief. But some of the worst over there are the Taylor Swift and Beyonce fans. And then are those who are the worst of the worst, fans of both.

The only thing I really like about it is some people over there actually take the time to report on MGMT, since no one else ever seems to want to acknowledge them.

My mother is trying to get a day together where my paternal aunt and uncle can go over to my sister's to see the baby. It is the last thing I want to do right now. I never wished I had a job so bad in my life so I would have an excuse not to go. I know the whole time it will be "[my bitchy cousin] this, [my bitchy cousin] that" and both my sister and I will be trying not to puke our faces off.

And my maternal aunt constantly wants to see the baby. I feel like telling him, enjoy seeing your great-aunt now, because once you get older, she won't have time for you.

Random Thoughts

I just visited D-Listed and there was an article about that Honey Boo Boo show and how they supposedly make $40,000 a season. I really want someone to tell me why people watch shit like this. And every other POS reality show on TV. I am tired of hearing the excuse that oh it's like a car wreck you can't turn away. BULL. SHIT. Why on God's good earth do you want to help these people make tons of money for being fucking lowlife scum?

That family is the worst. That mother is beyond disgusting and vile. I can't even look at pictures of her without wanting to projectile vomit. The only smart thing the dumb cow ever said was when she made fun of fat people in bikinis and with their fat hanging everywhere. It's the truth. No one wants to see your fat hanging everywhere. If Americans want to know why the rest of the world laughs at, just look at people like this. And politics, especially the Republican party.

I have a deep unhealthy hatred for child beauty pageants. They make me sick. Anyone who subjects their child to them should be revoked of their parenting privileges. They are abuse, plain and simple. When I was down Myrtle Beach, we were over at Barefoot Landing and I stopped in one of the bathrooms and there were these two young women with a little girl and they had the little girl practicing her beauty pageant speech. It made me want to throw up.

Sorry I am cranky. I went to Cracker Barrel for dinner and my sister and I split the apple dumpling dessert. Out of curiosity I came home and googled nutrition facts for CB and found the dessert is 3229 calories. I almost hit the roof. I want to cry so bad. I wouldn't care so much if I hadn't been bad Saturday and Monday as well. Ugh. My meal had to have been at least 2500 calories. That is sick. I've had the dessert before and never gained weight, and I am sure anytime I go to the Cheesecake Factory my meal is about that if not more, but I still feel so damn guilty.

I couldn't stand having the Addison's fear, but having my weight on the front burner again is not any more of a picnic. It's frustrating worrying constantly about gaining weight. And worrying that the constant worrying of gaining weight is going to lead to an eating disorder. I recall when reading on eating disorders that a lot of people with EDs feel like their eating and weight are the only things they can control in their life. And I do feel like that, because the rest of my life I feel like I have completely lost control of. And that is what worries me.

The Headline Of The Day

I'm truly a sight to behold right now- sobbing, and laughing hysterically at this article:

Dreams Do Come True: Prince Hot Ginge Gets Naked In Vegas, My Head Explodes In New York

Quote Of The Day

From D-Listed user Boredasfuckyo, in response to a bottom feeder:

Oneliner, I dislike people with misguided mentalities such as yours. You have the "Atleast you're not XYZ worse off situation." mentality that makes people ashamed to get help in the first place out of guilt. Seriously. fuck you. All snark aside from the bashing we do on the shit celebrities bitch about... in life, all the problems we have, someone WILL always have it better off or worse off than us, HOWEVER that does not mean, that that makes our own inner struggles invalid or any less painful, nor does it mean they should be dismissed because some poor unfortunate soul went through XYZ. NOR does it give anyone the right to trivilize them. Thats not how problems work. Thats not how human emotion work. And I am not about to sit here and justify my gratefulness for the physical things I have because people are struggling and starving in Africa. Physical needs and being in a state of emotional dispair are TWO different things and I fucking refuse to have some fucking asshole such as yourself try to make me feel guilty for my own personal darkness. So with all due respect. Fuck yourself.

Perfectly said. Some people get it.

Do you know what can make someone feel even more shameful? Not really knowing what your inner struggles are. I can sit here and write a list the length of my arm of all of my flaws, but when it comes down to it, I don't know why I am such a miserable insufferable cunt. All I know is I have mental illness, that something went awry with my brain. But I don't understand why, except genetics, and something simply going awry in my brain is not acceptable. I feel like I should have another reason to be as miserable as I do, that no human being is this miserable simply due to brain chemical malfunction. I don't feel like someone should be this miserable unless something traumatic happened to them. And as far as I know, nothing traumatic ever happened to me.

Quote Of The Day

From this D-Listed article, by jerseygirl17, on the Grammys:

There should be separate categories for "Singers" and "Autotuned Beyond Recognition But Hey Look At My Rack".

Quote Of The Day

Michael K on the new OK magazine article on Mario Lopez:

The minute baby Gia Francesa fell out of her mother's chocha into the doctor's hands, Mario Lopez leaped and pivoted to the nearest gym to makes his glutes glutier, his biceps bicepier and six-pack six-packier

Quote Of The Day

From D-Listed, a description of Bristol Palin's sob story:

Speaking from her glass house while holding a giant pot

Good God. We got a magazine rag in work today and I noticed a picture of her in the corner with some kind of whiny bullcrap headline about how hard it is to be a single mom. Isn't Sarah enough?

Quote Of The Day

From D-Listed, Michael K on the waitress who allegedly punched Blohan:

Jasmine Waltz, the cocktail waitress at Voyeur who allegedly delivered a blow-han to Lindsay Lohan's face the other night, took a break from going through the thousands of cards and thank you fruit baskets from around the world to give Access Hollywood her side of the story.

If this girl really did punch that miserable little cunt, I tip my hat to her. I'd love nothing more than for my fist- or better yet, foot- to knock her coked up ass straight into state prison.

Quote Of The Day

Michael K (writer of D-Listed) on Pete Doherty's latest arrest:

It's probably like a damn family reunion every time Dreamy gets arrested. All the cops cheer and hug Dreamy when he comes stomping through the front door of the police station. Everyone gets to catch up! As the cops use a salad tong covered with a GLAD bag to check his asshole for contraband (or Lindsay Lohan's career), they tell Dreamy how their wife and kids are doing, etc.. etc..

Quote Of The Day

Michael K on Jersey Shore:

What is there to say about last night's 2-hour premiere of Jersey Shore on MTV? I was tempted to just post a picture of the orange puss that oozed out of my eye holes after watching this, because that pretty much sums it up.

Did I watch it? No. One, I was not aware it premiered. Two, I do not watch MTV, except for Southpark sometimes. And three, I hate NJ enough as it is. I don't need to add any fuel to the fire. Ninety nine percent of the comments I have read on this piece of shit say they do not see this in NJ. However, any of the pictures of it I have seen, I can say that I do, in fact, see this exact type of trash in NJ. Believe me, I go to Seaside for the day a few times every summer and this is the exact type of trash I see every fucking summer. Wildwood is getting incredibly close to being overrun with this type of trash (I always laugh at how they are trying to upgrade Wildwood and condos get more expensive and the clientele just gets trashier and trashier; change the scenary, but not the situation). I saw it in high school too. Oh, did I. Especially the guys. Guidos out and out. *barfs*

The only compliment I can offer this show is if I were held hostage and told that if I do not want to die, my choices are to watch hours of this POS or hours of the [Whatever number they are up to] Kids and Counting or Jon And Kate Plus Eight, you can guarantee I will choose this visual and aural holocaust over those crappy pieces of crap. Come on. Either way you look at it, you know I will be asking the person holding me hostage to put me out of my misery.

My great-grandparents must be rolling in their graves.

Quote Of The Day

D-Listed user Dushieblue, on MTV:

Does MTV even play any music at all? I ask because I stopped watching tv about a year ago, and then it was all about rich cunts running around and making viewers rethink eugenics.

Quote Of The Day

From D-Listed, on luxury handbag designer Sharif's handbags:

When I got home drunk last night, I immediately did one of my favorite things: watched HSN while pigging out on carbs. Stuffing my face might have been a mistake, because the handbags that came on my screen made me want to vomit all over my TV so I'd have something prettier to look at. Seriously, these things were all sorts of hideous.

Quote Of The Day

D-Listed is on a roll this week. Or maybe it's just my bizarre sense of humor. Here is Michael K's latest, on Joe Biden at one of the hundreds of millions of inauguration balls:

And Joe Biden's plugs were looking good too. Why is that I really want him to sell me a vegetable chopper on an infomercial or some shit? I want to come home drunk at 3am, turn on the TV and watch a 45-minute infomercial featuring VP Biden hawking something or another while pointing and winking at me. He also seems the type that calls absolutely everyone "chief." Hey chief!

And on Katie Price's whole "eye for an eye" speech:

That shit sounds like a 4th grade paper on "What I Would Do If I Was Ruler Of The Entire Universe." This is my question on the rape thing: who is going to ass rape all the rapists? And since the ass punisher is technically committing rape, does that mean they will have to be ass raped too? It's all a vicious cycle. Ass rape for everyone!

Quote Of The Day

From D-Listed, on Paris Hilton's possible new sex tape:

I believe there are millions of Wonky sex tapes floating around, because she is a narcissistic twat who loves being on camera. Seriously, go check your dryer. I'm sure one of her sex tapes is laying around in there. If you don't find one there, take a plunger to your toilet. One of her fuck tapes will surely pop up there.

And on Brooke Hogan's latest video:

You know, for lunch I had a Cup O Noodle, six Bagel Bites and like eight Pepperidge Farm Milanos. That shit has made me feel bloated everywhere. Even in my fingernails. That's why I'm going to listen to Brooke's trans warble over and over again. If I listen to it enough, I may start barfing up my lunch through my ears. Brooke will be doing me a favor.

And on Britney possibly writing a book:

I bet Brit Brit's diaries look like the Pee Chee folder of a 7-year-old girl. It's probably all pictures drawn with crayons and water markers. Whenever she thinks a page is really deep, she marks it with a hologram sticker. The publisher should just save some time and release Everyone Poops with Brit's picture on the cover. It'll be the same shit. And the only chapter I'm interested in reading in Brit's tell-all is the one titled: Hi Yall! Brit Brit here, just want to update you all on the size of my vagina. Its about 4 feet wide with razor sharp teeth.

Quote Of The Day

From D-Listed, on Cristiano Ronaldo's car wreck:

The crash happened around 10:30 this morning while Cristiano was driving through a tunnel in Manchester. For some strange reason, he hit the side of the wall, sending the barrier and his car parts flying across the road. This is probably what happened: Cristiano got a glimpse of his sexy self in the rearview mirror, causing grease to explode from his every pore which made the break pedal a little oily and then...well... you know what happened next. It's dangerous being that gorgeous.

Reminds me of that episode of Family Guy when Peter gets liposuction and all kinds of plastic surgery and is driving home one day and catches a glimpse of himself in the rearview mirror and can't look away and ends up going off of a cliff and lands in a fat factory.

Quote Of The Day

From Michael K, writer of D-Listed, in response to the Wal-Mart death:

This is way, way, way beyond an "unfortunate event." You know, it makes so much sense that this happened at Wal-Mart, the epitome of American grossness. I hope that on Christmas morning, when the Wal-Mart savages' children are opening their stupid presents, they tell them "I hope you like it, because I had to kill a man for it."....What the fuck is wrong with America? Even wild animals behave better than we do. Stories like this make me want to donate all my shit to charity and go live in the woods for the rest of my life. People suck.