Dr. Goodman: Oh, it's a very rare species, the endangered White-Rump Swallow.
Chris: [laughs] Rump.
Peter: [sternly] This isn't funny, Chris! [laughs] Swallow.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From one of my favorite early episodes of Family Guy, "Brian Wallows and Peter's Swallows":
Random Thoughts
Man, this has been one aggravating ass week.
Well, so far nothing has been said to me about how I called out on Monday. Apparently, everybody called out except my boss and this poor coworker who my boss made come in. Still kinda mad about having to use PTO time, though. We were under a state of emergency, after all.
Tuesday was just all kinds of annoying. I received an email from a coworker that just pissed me off. I think the whole thing that pissed me off about the email was the fact that she and I are pretty cool. Why couldn't she just come back and talk to me instead of emailing me and my boss? BUT....then someone said to me today that maybe my boss made her send the email and you know what? I would not be surprised if that was the case. I am trying to figure out how I can pry the answer out of my coworker without having to come out and ask it directly.
I stopped at the market today on the way home from work because I had a coupon from Coke for a free 12 pack that expires tomorrow and as usual, the cashier couldn't get it to work properly, so she calls over another worker, who takes it and is looking at it intently and then actually holding it up to the light like you would with a dollar bill to see if it is counterfeit. Then he asks me where I got it from and I say "uh, Coke". Then he gets on the phone to talk to someone and he is going on and on about it not scanning and how people have actually tried to copy the coupons and reading off numbers and then he gets off the phone and says that he is going to give it to me and by that point, I was beyond fucking mortified and pissed. The cashier apologizes to me for the wait and I just snapped "I don't appreciate being accused of fraud!" and she starts apologizing to me that they were not accusing me of fraud, but that in the past they have gotten people trying to pass off copies of the coupons as the real thing and that was why it was not working properly when she tried to have it scanned. I feel bad now for snapping out on the cashier, but I was just so damn stressed from work and then to have to stand in a store and basically be looked at as suspicious in front of other people just threw me over the edge. I am not a deceitful person like that.
And bitches please- it was pretty damn obvious that the coupon was not a copy.
Well, so far nothing has been said to me about how I called out on Monday. Apparently, everybody called out except my boss and this poor coworker who my boss made come in. Still kinda mad about having to use PTO time, though. We were under a state of emergency, after all.
Tuesday was just all kinds of annoying. I received an email from a coworker that just pissed me off. I think the whole thing that pissed me off about the email was the fact that she and I are pretty cool. Why couldn't she just come back and talk to me instead of emailing me and my boss? BUT....then someone said to me today that maybe my boss made her send the email and you know what? I would not be surprised if that was the case. I am trying to figure out how I can pry the answer out of my coworker without having to come out and ask it directly.
I stopped at the market today on the way home from work because I had a coupon from Coke for a free 12 pack that expires tomorrow and as usual, the cashier couldn't get it to work properly, so she calls over another worker, who takes it and is looking at it intently and then actually holding it up to the light like you would with a dollar bill to see if it is counterfeit. Then he asks me where I got it from and I say "uh, Coke". Then he gets on the phone to talk to someone and he is going on and on about it not scanning and how people have actually tried to copy the coupons and reading off numbers and then he gets off the phone and says that he is going to give it to me and by that point, I was beyond fucking mortified and pissed. The cashier apologizes to me for the wait and I just snapped "I don't appreciate being accused of fraud!" and she starts apologizing to me that they were not accusing me of fraud, but that in the past they have gotten people trying to pass off copies of the coupons as the real thing and that was why it was not working properly when she tried to have it scanned. I feel bad now for snapping out on the cashier, but I was just so damn stressed from work and then to have to stand in a store and basically be looked at as suspicious in front of other people just threw me over the edge. I am not a deceitful person like that.
And bitches please- it was pretty damn obvious that the coupon was not a copy.
Labels:
ANGRY,
Drama Drama Drama,
Random Thoughts,
Stupid People
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Video Of The Day
Roger's Cilantro dance:
I freaking love Roger.
I freaking love Roger.
Labels:
American Dad,
Roger,
Video Of The Day
Monday, December 27, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From "Untitled Griffin Family History":
Moses Griffin: Okay, before we go any further, I'm gonna lay down some ground rules. Commandment number one: Shut the hell up! Commandment number two: There is nothing I can do about the sun! Commandment number three: There are no more Jolly Ranchers, they're all gone! Commandment number four: Whenever we pass a sign, please don't read it out loud!
Random Thoughts
Merry belated freaking Christmas everyone! Another year of making plans to watch A Christmas Story and another year of failing to see it again. People cannot understand how is it possible for me to miss it when it's on 24 hours straight, but somehow I get too busy when the marathon is running. One of these years I will actually see it. One of these years.
Despite the repeated protests of not having much on my list, I think I made out pretty well. I received quite a bit of jewelry. Pretty much everything on my list (what existed of one) was given to me. The only thing I did not receive was a new set of handweights. I need 3 pounders.
And I love the snowstorm yesterday. The one that, as of my birthday, had a 75% of going offshore and not hitting us. Right. Those statistics were quite accurate. I was up most of the night last night worrying about how I was going to get to work. The roads in my neighborhood were an absolute mess. There was no way I was getting to work, so I had to call out. Against my better judgement. And now I am one day short of PTO time next year. I never get why places force you to take PTO time. If I don't want to get paid, that is my prerogative. I would think most workplaces would be fucking ecstatic when an employee wants to decline being paid.
I had to laugh because this morning I was absolutely off the wall over how I was going to get to work and at one point, my father turns to me and says "hey, you paid for it, but that car is in my name and I don't want anything happening to it". I was already pretty pissed off and that almost sent me through the roof. I wanted to turn to him and say "excuse me? Oh now it's not just if you pay for something, it's if it is in your name as well?". Or just go absolutely apeshit. My father has this piss poor attitude that he is in charge of everything as long as he pays for it. He constantly throws crap like that in my mother's face. He is constantly taking her car- the car she paid for with her own cash and has her name on the title- on errands and when she made a comment to him about not putting in gas money despite taking it repeatedly, he made some wise ass comment about oh who pays for the insurance. My mom, although I am very much like her, is different in some ways. If my husband spoke to me that way, I'd knock him on his ass.
And for the record, my name is on that car title as well. And I reminded him of that and then simply left the room because I knew if I stayed in the room much longer, I'd have to do everything in my power to keep myself from knocking him on his fat ass.
I don't understand this weather anymore. Up until last year, every time a snowstorm came, it was always Pennsy that was slammed. Now all of a sudden, these stupid coastal storms keep popping up and slamming NJ and Pennsy barely gets squat. Is this our punishment for Durrrsey Shur?
Speaking of the devil....okay, so I know I am pushing into overload territory here, but I took a trip up to the library last week- due to needing books to read due to the new issue of Weird NJ still not being out yet, but finally came out right afterwards- and I did happen to find that issue of US Weekly, so I snuck off and read it and....wow. Assuming everything in the article is true, the Situation is freaking unbelievable. I don't understand what his problem is, except that he is no diva; he is a freaking whackjob. It almost sounds like he wants nothing to do with anyone else on the show, even Pauly D, who is supposed to be his best friend. He is not the one only one on the show. Mike, you did not cure cancer. Get the hell over yourself.
And he honestly wants to stand there and whine about being lonely? Oh ho! Join the club! Look, I do feel bad for him if he actually feels lonely because right now I feel so friggin lonely I want to scream and it is a lousy feeling, but at the same time I have to wonder. Maybe he really isn't doing anything wrong, who knows, but if he acts anything like he does on the show....well, Mike, I can't imagine why you would drive people away from you. Here is an idea, Mikey- step back and take a giant look in the mirror at yourself- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Take a look at yourself before you call another person ugly. Yes, for some strange reason or another, I find you cute. But I can also say you look like a middle aged old man going through a midlife crisis, you have a big ass nose, your face has enough grease to fry French fries in, your abs are freaky looking, and your arms are disproportionate to the rest of your body. I'm sorry, Mike, you are not perfect.
Really step back and take a look at how you treat women and don't give the bullshit that you love your mommy and your sister and that it is all meant to be lighthearted because newsflash, Mike- it's not funny. Do some of them probably deserve to be treated like crap? Probably. To be truthful, I don't even feel sorry for most of the girls that get treated liked crap by him. And Jesus, for someone who hates "grenades", most of the women he supposedly hooks up with are ugly as shit. These bitches actually make me feel attractive when I look in the mirror. Mike, man....damn! But it's still not funny. And I am sure there are girls that don't deserve the nasty ass treatment he gives. I don't think the checkers girl deserved the treatment she got.
And don't go around slapping people.
And for the love of God- enough with the fucking leader who has to make all the decisions crap!
I almost feel bad saying this, but I hope when his fall finally comes, it comes in A BIG WAY. Maybe when his time comes, he'll take it so bad, he'll decide to take a long walk off of a short bridge. But he cannot take that long walk without screwing me first. And before he screws me, he is gonna meet my mom. Mom'll knock that ego down a few pegs with bitchiness and guilt tripping.
My mother is a scary woman. We won't even touch on my grandmother.
It pains me to say this, but deep down, I do not believe he is a bad person. I think a lot of the slamming of him, albeit hilarious at times, is out of bounds. Other than his misogynistic behavior and girl tantrums, he seems pretty well-behaved. I mean, he isn't in the tabloids passed out drunk or high or mowing people down with that weird ass car of his or anything like that. Is he?
His car ain't bad, mostly because it's black, but I am not a fan of Bentleys. They always seem like such old man cars (please suppress all urges to make any Situation looks like an old man jokes). Plus, the way he customized it....*rolls eyes*. He puts me in the mind of someone that would buy something a little sportier, like a Lamborghini or something. Now, if it is a stick shift, that is a whole different story. There is something about watching someone drive stick shift that just, uh, drives me absolutely wild.
In one of the interviews I skimmed over about him, he mentioned something about being a underwear model and frankly, I never could understand how someone would give him that opportunity because as I have repeatedly implied before, his abs simultaneously freak me out and make me drool (his abs are his Facebook profile picture; freaks me the hell out every time I see the picture; I liked it better when this was his profile picture. And no, I am not a "fan" of him, but he frequently comes up as a suggestion under "Discover more pages" and my sister's fiance is a fan of him). Well, now that I have seen pictures of him when he was younger (I need to find the webpage again), I am going to willingly take that back. Jeebus Christmas, that boy was fucking ripped once upon a time. What in the hell happened? He still is, but believe me, those abs look nothing like they did once upon a time. But then again, he is....uh, how old is he again?
And one more thing- I was reading this article and it had this excerpt from his Pulitzer worthy "book" (I was in Barnes & Noble on my birthday and I walked by the table where his book was last time and someone had taken a copy and placed it front cover down- I lol'd):
If he ever came out, I hope it would be similar to this.
I'm sorry; I am a little stressed over going into work tomorrow. I am afraid I am going to get in trouble for calling out, mostly because I was unable to actually talk with someone when I called out. I left 2 messages, but it was on the general voicemail since oh bright one here does not have any of her coworker's private extensions. Oh and I have to deal with getting my time clock account unlocked, since it was locked due to me trying to change the password and I apparently hit the maximum amount of attempts to change my password. Don't know what the hell I was doing wrong, but it would not accept any of my attempted new passwords.
Despite the repeated protests of not having much on my list, I think I made out pretty well. I received quite a bit of jewelry. Pretty much everything on my list (what existed of one) was given to me. The only thing I did not receive was a new set of handweights. I need 3 pounders.
And I love the snowstorm yesterday. The one that, as of my birthday, had a 75% of going offshore and not hitting us. Right. Those statistics were quite accurate. I was up most of the night last night worrying about how I was going to get to work. The roads in my neighborhood were an absolute mess. There was no way I was getting to work, so I had to call out. Against my better judgement. And now I am one day short of PTO time next year. I never get why places force you to take PTO time. If I don't want to get paid, that is my prerogative. I would think most workplaces would be fucking ecstatic when an employee wants to decline being paid.
I had to laugh because this morning I was absolutely off the wall over how I was going to get to work and at one point, my father turns to me and says "hey, you paid for it, but that car is in my name and I don't want anything happening to it". I was already pretty pissed off and that almost sent me through the roof. I wanted to turn to him and say "excuse me? Oh now it's not just if you pay for something, it's if it is in your name as well?". Or just go absolutely apeshit. My father has this piss poor attitude that he is in charge of everything as long as he pays for it. He constantly throws crap like that in my mother's face. He is constantly taking her car- the car she paid for with her own cash and has her name on the title- on errands and when she made a comment to him about not putting in gas money despite taking it repeatedly, he made some wise ass comment about oh who pays for the insurance. My mom, although I am very much like her, is different in some ways. If my husband spoke to me that way, I'd knock him on his ass.
And for the record, my name is on that car title as well. And I reminded him of that and then simply left the room because I knew if I stayed in the room much longer, I'd have to do everything in my power to keep myself from knocking him on his fat ass.
I don't understand this weather anymore. Up until last year, every time a snowstorm came, it was always Pennsy that was slammed. Now all of a sudden, these stupid coastal storms keep popping up and slamming NJ and Pennsy barely gets squat. Is this our punishment for Durrrsey Shur?
Speaking of the devil....okay, so I know I am pushing into overload territory here, but I took a trip up to the library last week- due to needing books to read due to the new issue of Weird NJ still not being out yet, but finally came out right afterwards- and I did happen to find that issue of US Weekly, so I snuck off and read it and....wow. Assuming everything in the article is true, the Situation is freaking unbelievable. I don't understand what his problem is, except that he is no diva; he is a freaking whackjob. It almost sounds like he wants nothing to do with anyone else on the show, even Pauly D, who is supposed to be his best friend. He is not the one only one on the show. Mike, you did not cure cancer. Get the hell over yourself.
And he honestly wants to stand there and whine about being lonely? Oh ho! Join the club! Look, I do feel bad for him if he actually feels lonely because right now I feel so friggin lonely I want to scream and it is a lousy feeling, but at the same time I have to wonder. Maybe he really isn't doing anything wrong, who knows, but if he acts anything like he does on the show....well, Mike, I can't imagine why you would drive people away from you. Here is an idea, Mikey- step back and take a giant look in the mirror at yourself- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Take a look at yourself before you call another person ugly. Yes, for some strange reason or another, I find you cute. But I can also say you look like a middle aged old man going through a midlife crisis, you have a big ass nose, your face has enough grease to fry French fries in, your abs are freaky looking, and your arms are disproportionate to the rest of your body. I'm sorry, Mike, you are not perfect.
Really step back and take a look at how you treat women and don't give the bullshit that you love your mommy and your sister and that it is all meant to be lighthearted because newsflash, Mike- it's not funny. Do some of them probably deserve to be treated like crap? Probably. To be truthful, I don't even feel sorry for most of the girls that get treated liked crap by him. And Jesus, for someone who hates "grenades", most of the women he supposedly hooks up with are ugly as shit. These bitches actually make me feel attractive when I look in the mirror. Mike, man....damn! But it's still not funny. And I am sure there are girls that don't deserve the nasty ass treatment he gives. I don't think the checkers girl deserved the treatment she got.
And don't go around slapping people.
And for the love of God- enough with the fucking leader who has to make all the decisions crap!
I almost feel bad saying this, but I hope when his fall finally comes, it comes in A BIG WAY. Maybe when his time comes, he'll take it so bad, he'll decide to take a long walk off of a short bridge. But he cannot take that long walk without screwing me first. And before he screws me, he is gonna meet my mom. Mom'll knock that ego down a few pegs with bitchiness and guilt tripping.
My mother is a scary woman. We won't even touch on my grandmother.
It pains me to say this, but deep down, I do not believe he is a bad person. I think a lot of the slamming of him, albeit hilarious at times, is out of bounds. Other than his misogynistic behavior and girl tantrums, he seems pretty well-behaved. I mean, he isn't in the tabloids passed out drunk or high or mowing people down with that weird ass car of his or anything like that. Is he?
His car ain't bad, mostly because it's black, but I am not a fan of Bentleys. They always seem like such old man cars (please suppress all urges to make any Situation looks like an old man jokes). Plus, the way he customized it....*rolls eyes*. He puts me in the mind of someone that would buy something a little sportier, like a Lamborghini or something. Now, if it is a stick shift, that is a whole different story. There is something about watching someone drive stick shift that just, uh, drives me absolutely wild.
In one of the interviews I skimmed over about him, he mentioned something about being a underwear model and frankly, I never could understand how someone would give him that opportunity because as I have repeatedly implied before, his abs simultaneously freak me out and make me drool (his abs are his Facebook profile picture; freaks me the hell out every time I see the picture; I liked it better when this was his profile picture. And no, I am not a "fan" of him, but he frequently comes up as a suggestion under "Discover more pages" and my sister's fiance is a fan of him). Well, now that I have seen pictures of him when he was younger (I need to find the webpage again), I am going to willingly take that back. Jeebus Christmas, that boy was fucking ripped once upon a time. What in the hell happened? He still is, but believe me, those abs look nothing like they did once upon a time. But then again, he is....uh, how old is he again?
And one more thing- I was reading this article and it had this excerpt from his Pulitzer worthy "book" (I was in Barnes & Noble on my birthday and I walked by the table where his book was last time and someone had taken a copy and placed it front cover down- I lol'd):
chicks do dig guys with shaved legsWe do? Wow, I'm so glad he knows how the female spec....wait a minute....is he implying that he shaves his legs? Bwahahaha! I swear, if that boy ever comes out of the closet, it's going to be absolutely freaking fantastic. Almost as fantastic as it coming out that someone got a hold of his birth certificate and he is really about 45 years old and going through a huge midlife crisis.
If he ever came out, I hope it would be similar to this.
I'm sorry; I am a little stressed over going into work tomorrow. I am afraid I am going to get in trouble for calling out, mostly because I was unable to actually talk with someone when I called out. I left 2 messages, but it was on the general voicemail since oh bright one here does not have any of her coworker's private extensions. Oh and I have to deal with getting my time clock account unlocked, since it was locked due to me trying to change the password and I apparently hit the maximum amount of attempts to change my password. Don't know what the hell I was doing wrong, but it would not accept any of my attempted new passwords.
Video Of The Day
Today would have been my friend's 27th birthday. One of the things I always remember about her was Oasis being her favorite bands. I liked some songs by them, but I was never a real big fan of them. But there was always something about "Don't Look Back In Anger" that I liked and when she passed away, the song took on a whole new meaning to me.
I would never say anything to her, but I am beyond pissed that of all of the days in the year, my sister had to choose the day after my friend's anniverary death date to get married.
I would never say anything to her, but I am beyond pissed that of all of the days in the year, my sister had to choose the day after my friend's anniverary death date to get married.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Quote Of The Day
Commentor Leadalpha in response to Paw Nation's article on top 10 dog poisons:
Aw, really? Batteries aren't good for my dog when he eats them? I thought we were supposed to recycle batteries. I guess I'm gonna have to eat them myself then. Yuck.
The WTF Of The Day
Monday, December 20, 2010
Lyrics Of The Day
Another song I instantly fell in love with...."Driven By Their Beating Hearts" by A Silent Film:
As I was waking up
The moon was fading
The folks had gone to ground
The day was breaking
Words don't come easily
When most I need them
I do not have the key
I am breaking in
There's people, people going out of their minds
Right into each other's homes
But I only want to be with you, with you
There's people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I don't believe my eyes
There's so much beauty here
A song for everyone
A song for every ear
Words don't come easily
When most I need them
I do not have a key
I am breaking in
There's people, people going out of their minds
Right into each other's homes
But I only want to be with you, with you
There's people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
There's people, people going out of their minds
Right into each other's homes
But I only want to be with you, with you
There's people, people getting out of their cars
Driven by their beating hearts
But I only want to be with you, with you
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
I want you, I want you to define me, define me
Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts
Driven by their beating hearts, their hearts
Friday, December 17, 2010
Video Of The Day
"It's The End Of The World As We Know It" by REM:
I think this is one of the best songs ever to be created. I swear, if the world is ever going to end, I am going to run through the streets with a radio blasting this. I am just going to go absolutely ballistic. I am going to destroy stuff and kick a lot of asses. It's going to be fucking awesome.
I think this is one of the best songs ever to be created. I swear, if the world is ever going to end, I am going to run through the streets with a radio blasting this. I am just going to go absolutely ballistic. I am going to destroy stuff and kick a lot of asses. It's going to be fucking awesome.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Random Thoughts
I woke up pretty miserable this morning- partly due to waking up at 5AM and not falling back asleep (I wake up at 7), partly due to my stomach problems flaring up, and partly due to absolutely no reason at all- and when I got to work, all seemed to be pretty mellow- until I heard that voice. "The man" was in. I haven't been in work when he was in in a very long time. Ugh.
And what happens? I am on lunch and I happen to be on the Daily What when he comes strolling into my workspace and I see him keep staring at my screen. I was clocked out so I was not going to bother hiding the screen. I was not doing anything wrong. He didn't say anything, but if anything is said to me this week, I am going to make sure I am well prepared to defend myself. We were told to clock out if we want to spend personal time on the internet. Most people in the office still don't (I see people on Facebook all the time; I refuse to go on Facebook when I am at work; I don't want them knowing my password and log in and all that) and heck, sometimes I don't (I might refresh the MSN homepage and brief through the headlines real quick- 30 seconds at the most, it would be ridiculous to clock out for it), but right then and there I was. I will object if I have to, dammit!
Every holiday season, a group of about 6 of us get together and go shopping and dinner and all that fun stuff. Our trip this year was this past Sunday (we ate at 99 *sniffles*. I can't even begin to describe how upset I am over its closing). Except for the rain, it was actually pretty nice. I only wanted to stab about 15% of the people I came across, as opposed to my usual 95%.
I also happened to come across this while I was in Best Buy. I was going to take all of the copies and move them into the Horror section (yes, I am prone to going into stores and getting uncontrollable urges to move things around in stores, but usually I never go through with my plans because I have worked retail and it is kinda mean, although Saturday, I was in Target and I saw that the issues of Men's Fitness were hiding in the back of the magazine rack, so I took all of the copies and moved them to the front and I ended up back there on Monday and much to my surprise, no one had moved them back), but after giving side eye up and down the aisle, I concluded that there were simply too many people around and I certainly did not want to be accused of actually wanting to purchase a copy. Bitches, please- if I want a DVD on how to get fabulous abs, I am going to purchase a DVD by someone who, you know, actually has fabulous abs.
I also saw the "I Like It" video with all of the dipshits while I was in Sears. Oh and it was Schnozz here that I thought was singing the song the first time I heard it (look, before any Enrique fans get their pantalones in a bunch, it was 7AM in the morning and Enrique had a hat on, so I couldn't see his face real good, okay?). I think I saw the video right after D-Listed posted an article about his aural holocaust of a rap "song" (I listened to 5 seconds of it and....OH GOD! The horror!).
I found this picture of him and....what is he doing? He does realize he still has his shirt on, right?
And what happens? I am on lunch and I happen to be on the Daily What when he comes strolling into my workspace and I see him keep staring at my screen. I was clocked out so I was not going to bother hiding the screen. I was not doing anything wrong. He didn't say anything, but if anything is said to me this week, I am going to make sure I am well prepared to defend myself. We were told to clock out if we want to spend personal time on the internet. Most people in the office still don't (I see people on Facebook all the time; I refuse to go on Facebook when I am at work; I don't want them knowing my password and log in and all that) and heck, sometimes I don't (I might refresh the MSN homepage and brief through the headlines real quick- 30 seconds at the most, it would be ridiculous to clock out for it), but right then and there I was. I will object if I have to, dammit!
Every holiday season, a group of about 6 of us get together and go shopping and dinner and all that fun stuff. Our trip this year was this past Sunday (we ate at 99 *sniffles*. I can't even begin to describe how upset I am over its closing). Except for the rain, it was actually pretty nice. I only wanted to stab about 15% of the people I came across, as opposed to my usual 95%.
I also happened to come across this while I was in Best Buy. I was going to take all of the copies and move them into the Horror section (yes, I am prone to going into stores and getting uncontrollable urges to move things around in stores, but usually I never go through with my plans because I have worked retail and it is kinda mean, although Saturday, I was in Target and I saw that the issues of Men's Fitness were hiding in the back of the magazine rack, so I took all of the copies and moved them to the front and I ended up back there on Monday and much to my surprise, no one had moved them back), but after giving side eye up and down the aisle, I concluded that there were simply too many people around and I certainly did not want to be accused of actually wanting to purchase a copy. Bitches, please- if I want a DVD on how to get fabulous abs, I am going to purchase a DVD by someone who, you know, actually has fabulous abs.
I also saw the "I Like It" video with all of the dipshits while I was in Sears. Oh and it was Schnozz here that I thought was singing the song the first time I heard it (look, before any Enrique fans get their pantalones in a bunch, it was 7AM in the morning and Enrique had a hat on, so I couldn't see his face real good, okay?). I think I saw the video right after D-Listed posted an article about his aural holocaust of a rap "song" (I listened to 5 seconds of it and....OH GOD! The horror!).
I found this picture of him and....what is he doing? He does realize he still has his shirt on, right?
The WTF Of The Day
Oh come on! *sobs* Say it isn't so! THIS:

This is just too much. First Bugaboo. Then the Spaghetti Warehouse. How on earth are these 99 restaurants closing? They were all so damn busy anytime I went! The first time I went to a 99 was in Woburn, MA back in 2000. I waited impatiently for many years for them to finally move down this way. I can't believe this. I can barely put into....ARGH! Where is Rageguy? I need Rageguy!

Quick, I need something to make me feel better! *searches frantically on internet* Ah! Here we go- a picture of Garrett Hedlund! Those pants are almost as disturbing as these pants (c'mon- you knew that was coming), but that boy is hot. Love, love, LOVED him in Four Brothers and [almost] cried when he was killed. And if you never saw Four Brothers and want to....yeah, Jack dies.
This is just too much. First Bugaboo. Then the Spaghetti Warehouse. How on earth are these 99 restaurants closing? They were all so damn busy anytime I went! The first time I went to a 99 was in Woburn, MA back in 2000. I waited impatiently for many years for them to finally move down this way. I can't believe this. I can barely put into....ARGH! Where is Rageguy? I need Rageguy!
Quick, I need something to make me feel better! *searches frantically on internet* Ah! Here we go- a picture of Garrett Hedlund! Those pants are almost as disturbing as these pants (c'mon- you knew that was coming), but that boy is hot. Love, love, LOVED him in Four Brothers and [almost] cried when he was killed. And if you never saw Four Brothers and want to....yeah, Jack dies.
Labels:
99 Restaurant,
Garrett Hedlund,
Rageguy,
The WTF Of The Day
Monday, December 13, 2010
Video Of The Day
Nineties music usually makes me feel better:
No. It is not working this time. But at least I am off my ass and dancing.
No. It is not working this time. But at least I am off my ass and dancing.
It's Pity Party Time! Part 2
Well, apparently my "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" phase is back in full force again. I am tired, I have heartburn up to my ears, I am sick of nasty ass people, and I am tired of always being cold. Oh, and my insides, which have been behaving somewhat, are in an uproar again.
I'm just very miserable today. I don't know what my problem is. I just woke up feeling bad. I am sick and tired of being a good person and I am even more sick and tired of feeling bad for being a good person. I am tired of feeling like the most unattractive person on earth (I look in the mirror and I do not see a quote unquote "grenade" or "landmine" or whatever the stupid terms those stupid douchebags use when I look in the mirror; I am a fucking Hindenburgh). I am tired of no matter how much weight I lose, I always feel like I can be thinner (a fact no one knows about me is I wish I had been a ballet dancer. I never got the chance to do it, and probably never will ever get the chance, but I certainly have the body image problems). I am tired of being single. I am tired of being a virgin. I am tired of having poor social skills. I am tired of trying to do good and only seeing assholes be rewarded constantly. I think I need to just become a bigger asshole than I already am. The thing is it all needs to come out of hiding. I can be a bitch in my own head and to certain people, but that is maybe 14% of the actual full-fledged bitch that I really can be. That bitch needs to be released. And God save us all when she is. Even I want to shake in my boots.
Oh God, it will be so fucking awesome.
Oh and I am annoyed that everywhere I like to eat keeps closing. I have already repeatedly bitched about Bennigan's closing. A week or so ago, I found out our local Bugaboo Creek closed (I was just introduced to that place for the first time this year and I liked it. Except for all of the talking fake animals *shudders*) and then yesterday I found out our local Spaghetti Warehouse closed. I went ballistic when I was told that. I freaking loved that place! Okay, so they didn't have the greatest food (although I beg to differ on the brownie dessert), but it was good and I liked the atmosphere there. It was a big old random chaotic assortment of things. It's probably what my head looks like inside- walls full of various antique junk and a trolley smack dab in the middle.
Speaking of random chaotic junk, you know what song I go absolutely ballistic over every single time it comes on? "Baby It's Cold Outside". God, I hate that song! It's like they took two completely different songs and smushed them together. It gets on my nerves!
I'm just very miserable today. I don't know what my problem is. I just woke up feeling bad. I am sick and tired of being a good person and I am even more sick and tired of feeling bad for being a good person. I am tired of feeling like the most unattractive person on earth (I look in the mirror and I do not see a quote unquote "grenade" or "landmine" or whatever the stupid terms those stupid douchebags use when I look in the mirror; I am a fucking Hindenburgh). I am tired of no matter how much weight I lose, I always feel like I can be thinner (a fact no one knows about me is I wish I had been a ballet dancer. I never got the chance to do it, and probably never will ever get the chance, but I certainly have the body image problems). I am tired of being single. I am tired of being a virgin. I am tired of having poor social skills. I am tired of trying to do good and only seeing assholes be rewarded constantly. I think I need to just become a bigger asshole than I already am. The thing is it all needs to come out of hiding. I can be a bitch in my own head and to certain people, but that is maybe 14% of the actual full-fledged bitch that I really can be. That bitch needs to be released. And God save us all when she is. Even I want to shake in my boots.
Oh God, it will be so fucking awesome.
Oh and I am annoyed that everywhere I like to eat keeps closing. I have already repeatedly bitched about Bennigan's closing. A week or so ago, I found out our local Bugaboo Creek closed (I was just introduced to that place for the first time this year and I liked it. Except for all of the talking fake animals *shudders*) and then yesterday I found out our local Spaghetti Warehouse closed. I went ballistic when I was told that. I freaking loved that place! Okay, so they didn't have the greatest food (although I beg to differ on the brownie dessert), but it was good and I liked the atmosphere there. It was a big old random chaotic assortment of things. It's probably what my head looks like inside- walls full of various antique junk and a trolley smack dab in the middle.
Speaking of random chaotic junk, you know what song I go absolutely ballistic over every single time it comes on? "Baby It's Cold Outside". God, I hate that song! It's like they took two completely different songs and smushed them together. It gets on my nerves!
Quote Of The Day
From "Squid On Strike":
Spongebob: Gee! Being on strike with Squidward sure is a kick! Squidward's words are still buzzing around in my head like an angry jellyfish. Squidward was right! I can't just sit here! It's time for action!YEAH! YOU TELL EM SPONGEBOB *punches computer screen*
(at Krusty Krab)
I will restore the working man to his rightful glory! I will dismantle this oppressive establishment board by board! I will saw the tables of tyranny in half! Gnaw at the ankles of big business! Squidward will be so proud.
Labels:
Quote Of The Day,
Spongebob Squarepants
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
The WTF Of The Day
Tell Me It's Not True!!! | Dlisted
*falls on knees and throws hands in air* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NO! Aretha Franklin can not die! Queens do not die!
This probably is not the appropriate time to bring this up, but I am notorious for never being in the right place at the right time, but holy zombie Jesus, her boobs mesmorize me. Every time I see pictures of her, I just stare at them in absolute awe. Look at them! They're ginormous!
What is with me? I don't mean to be inappropriate, but I just am. Take, for instance, on Sunday. There was that story going around the internet about that young boy who was seriously injured on some German TV show. I saw the video and in addition to making me absolutely sick to my stomach (I am still haunted by it), the first thing I thought when I was watching it was, goddayum, that kid is really cute. And I'd still think it- if I could stomach watching it again.
I feel terrible for that kid. I half knew what to expect to see watching the video, but I swear, when I actually seen the way he landed on the ground, I almost lost it completely. Sure, part of me wants to say, well that is what happens when you want to do crazy stuff like that, but then again, if you really think about it, it can happen to anyone anytime. I could easily go outside, fall down the steps in front of my house, land a certain way and WHAM! That's it. Believe me- becoming paralyzed was once one of my absolute biggest fears and I spent more hours than should be allowed with raging anxiety imagining every little thing having the potential to cause paralysis.
I saw this on the Daily Squee on Friday and I laughed my fucking ass off. Although I hope the poor fish isn't suffering. God I'd feel absolutely terrible if it was. But look at it! How could you not laugh at it? It looks like MRAH! I’m gonna hold my breath ’till I get what I want! (no I did not leave that comment, but that is exactly what it looks like. Brownie points for Major Ypres!).
*falls on knees and throws hands in air* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
NO! Aretha Franklin can not die! Queens do not die!
This probably is not the appropriate time to bring this up, but I am notorious for never being in the right place at the right time, but holy zombie Jesus, her boobs mesmorize me. Every time I see pictures of her, I just stare at them in absolute awe. Look at them! They're ginormous!
What is with me? I don't mean to be inappropriate, but I just am. Take, for instance, on Sunday. There was that story going around the internet about that young boy who was seriously injured on some German TV show. I saw the video and in addition to making me absolutely sick to my stomach (I am still haunted by it), the first thing I thought when I was watching it was, goddayum, that kid is really cute. And I'd still think it- if I could stomach watching it again.
I feel terrible for that kid. I half knew what to expect to see watching the video, but I swear, when I actually seen the way he landed on the ground, I almost lost it completely. Sure, part of me wants to say, well that is what happens when you want to do crazy stuff like that, but then again, if you really think about it, it can happen to anyone anytime. I could easily go outside, fall down the steps in front of my house, land a certain way and WHAM! That's it. Believe me- becoming paralyzed was once one of my absolute biggest fears and I spent more hours than should be allowed with raging anxiety imagining every little thing having the potential to cause paralysis.
I saw this on the Daily Squee on Friday and I laughed my fucking ass off. Although I hope the poor fish isn't suffering. God I'd feel absolutely terrible if it was. But look at it! How could you not laugh at it? It looks like MRAH! I’m gonna hold my breath ’till I get what I want! (no I did not leave that comment, but that is exactly what it looks like. Brownie points for Major Ypres!).
Labels:
Aretha Franklin,
Boobies,
Daily Squee
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Random Thoughts
Is it Friday yet? No? Well, why not?!
Ugh, a coworker's grandson was in work today and she was bringing him around to show everyone and I actually hid. I have absolutely no idea how to talk to kids! If a kid comes up to me and starts talking to me, I just stare, horrified. It amazes me as to how I ever worked in a daycare or spent 3 years as a babysitter. Well, the kid I babysat, he and I basically had the same mentality, so we meshed well together. As for the daycare, I can't say I ever instigated anyone, but I had a tendency to magnetize all of the bad kids. For some reason, they just all loved me.
I saw the most fantastic thing last week. Over by my work area, there is a dental office and sometime last month, they strung lights up around the enormous tree outside. Well, one night I was coming up that way and I was stopped at the traffic light and I happened to look over and was staring at the tree and I thought, hm, cool decorative lights. Then I looked back again and I realized they were fucking teeth! Teeth shaped lights! I swear, I almost died from laughing.
I know I am a big bitch and I have a short temper and all, but anymore, when people ask me stupid questions, I just want to go absolutely apeshit. My father is notorious for asking dumb questions. On Sunday, I was dumping a can of soup into a bowl in front of the microwave and he comes in and says "making soup for lunch?". No. I am pouring it into a bowl and then I am going to throw it against the wall. Stupid questions make me want to bash my head against the wall.
Oh and I see some new stupid activity is springing up on Facebook. God, does it ever stop? #666- I don't give a fuck! I get so sick of those stupid "post this if you are proud to blah blah blah" (especially the self-congratulating mombie ones) or what color your bra is or now this new one. It brings out the Roberto in me. *waves knife around* Ha HA!
Ugh, a coworker's grandson was in work today and she was bringing him around to show everyone and I actually hid. I have absolutely no idea how to talk to kids! If a kid comes up to me and starts talking to me, I just stare, horrified. It amazes me as to how I ever worked in a daycare or spent 3 years as a babysitter. Well, the kid I babysat, he and I basically had the same mentality, so we meshed well together. As for the daycare, I can't say I ever instigated anyone, but I had a tendency to magnetize all of the bad kids. For some reason, they just all loved me.
I saw the most fantastic thing last week. Over by my work area, there is a dental office and sometime last month, they strung lights up around the enormous tree outside. Well, one night I was coming up that way and I was stopped at the traffic light and I happened to look over and was staring at the tree and I thought, hm, cool decorative lights. Then I looked back again and I realized they were fucking teeth! Teeth shaped lights! I swear, I almost died from laughing.
I know I am a big bitch and I have a short temper and all, but anymore, when people ask me stupid questions, I just want to go absolutely apeshit. My father is notorious for asking dumb questions. On Sunday, I was dumping a can of soup into a bowl in front of the microwave and he comes in and says "making soup for lunch?". No. I am pouring it into a bowl and then I am going to throw it against the wall. Stupid questions make me want to bash my head against the wall.
Oh and I see some new stupid activity is springing up on Facebook. God, does it ever stop? #666- I don't give a fuck! I get so sick of those stupid "post this if you are proud to blah blah blah" (especially the self-congratulating mombie ones) or what color your bra is or now this new one. It brings out the Roberto in me. *waves knife around* Ha HA!
Labels:
Facebook,
Random Thoughts,
Stupid Kids,
Stupid Questions,
Teefs
Quote Of The Day
From Cracked.com, on Samuel L. Jackson's badassery:
Being more pimp than the characters you play is easy when your most famous character is, say, a belligerent office worker. Not so much when you're best known as Jules Winnfield, paid assassin and B.A.M.F. Just the badassery it takes imagining the kind of life that would out-awesome Jules is a feat in itself. Your brain grows a Jherifro and starts threatening your other organs with violence in the effort. So for us to say that the real Samuel L. Jackson is more hardcore than Jules Winnfield, you know we've got to have some big guns to back it up.
Labels:
cracked.com,
Quote Of The Day,
Samuel L. Jackson
Monday, December 6, 2010
Video Of The Day
Because years later, this clip still never fails to make me laugh:
Labels:
The Soup,
Video Of The Day,
Whitney Houston
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Random Thoughts
Boo! It's Sunday! *blows loud raspberry*
I want any skinny people to tell me how they manage to stay warm in the winter months. I am so fucking cold and no matter what I do, I cannot get warm. I can barely recall the last time, with the exception of vacation in Myrtle Beach, when the words "I am so hot" came out of my mouth. It's not like I have no body fat, for God's sake. I had substantial bloodwork done in August ($855 worth!) and all come back in normal ranges, so I am not anemic or have a hypothyroid.
Ugh, everyone is getting on me about a Christmas list. I cannot think of absolutely anything I want and I have to come up with a birthday list as well! I have had this problem for a very long time. I am very anal about owning a lot of things, so it always makes it difficult to come up with a list. This is why I always laugh when people ask me if I ever feel like I get ripped off at the holidays. Noo. My only complaint is plenty of people seem to forget about my birthday.
I wish that spawn of Palin would STFU. It's bad enough we have to hear from Mommy Dearest constantly. Now her too? Like mother, like daughter. Defensive as shit, always flying off the handle yet never ONCE actually denying what they are being accused of. Reminds me of me. I do crap like that. And we all know I am fucking nuts.
I once was almost feeling sorry for her with all of the weight jokes being tossed around, but the way she was behaving the last few weeks, any sympathy flew out the window. How does someone spend so much time dancing and gain weight like that? I mean, look at me for example. I am a freak of nature. Do you know how some people will eat bad and then compensate by over exercising? I cannot compensate my bad eating with exercising. For some reason, if I go above 30 minutes of exercise, 5 days a week, I tend to hold weight or even gain weight. The summer of 2009, I went through a brief period where I was doing that. I am talking a little bit of overeating and spending an hour or more exercising because I felt so horrible and guilty for overeating. And I actually gained weight! But I have never ballooned up like this bitch. The most I gained was 2 to 5 pounds and it might have been muscle for all I know. It takes an extra 3500 calories to gain a pound! How many calories a day was she consuming? About 20,000?
On a side note, I am very proud to say I have not engaged in any bulimic behavior since September. And I have actually lost weight! Huzzahs are in order!
Last week, some controversey blew up in Philly about the renaming of some wooden shack stores from "Christmas Village" to "Holiday Village" or something (I actually was there last year and I almost died of a heart attack on the spot when I came upon a stand that was literally bursting with nesting dolls) and then it concluded with the original name being kept. Yeah, I thought it was kind of stupid to change the name, but ugh, did the War On Christmas soldiers come charging out of the woodwork. I am beyond the point of being sick of hearing about this crap every year.
UGH! I wish everyone would just STFU.
I was reading the GQ article on the Sitch being the Burning Sensation of The Year, or whatever he was nominated for, and I came across a photo gallery and there was THIS. Two thoughts ran through my head- the first thing I thought was, dayum, does he have a penchant for tight pants or something? The second thing I thought was, what, no sock this time around, Mike?
*tilts head and leans closer to screen* I don't know; what do you all think? Was that definitely a sock in the last set of girl pants? I think it was.
Ha. He's all sweaty in that picture. Makes me think of the sketch from Kids In The Hall when the Chicken Lady and the Bearded Lady go to the strip club and Chicken Lady says "and I stuck a quarter in his belly button and it stayed there. Wanna know why? 'Cause he was sweaty" or something like that. Man, that was one of the BEST KITH sketches. My sister never even cracked a smile at any of the KITH sketches, but even she laughed at that one.
And I like how light conveniently shines across his chest and part of his abs. I half expected heavenly music to start blaring out of my computer speakers.
Photos - The Year in Us Weekly - September 27, 2010 - UsMagazine.com
Hey! Why do not I not recall ever seeing this issue in work? Oh. Right. Hm. I'll have to see if my local library has an issue so I can read about the Situation's "diva antics".
lol- diva antics. I'd love to know just how much of a drama queen that boy is.
I want any skinny people to tell me how they manage to stay warm in the winter months. I am so fucking cold and no matter what I do, I cannot get warm. I can barely recall the last time, with the exception of vacation in Myrtle Beach, when the words "I am so hot" came out of my mouth. It's not like I have no body fat, for God's sake. I had substantial bloodwork done in August ($855 worth!) and all come back in normal ranges, so I am not anemic or have a hypothyroid.
Ugh, everyone is getting on me about a Christmas list. I cannot think of absolutely anything I want and I have to come up with a birthday list as well! I have had this problem for a very long time. I am very anal about owning a lot of things, so it always makes it difficult to come up with a list. This is why I always laugh when people ask me if I ever feel like I get ripped off at the holidays. Noo. My only complaint is plenty of people seem to forget about my birthday.
I wish that spawn of Palin would STFU. It's bad enough we have to hear from Mommy Dearest constantly. Now her too? Like mother, like daughter. Defensive as shit, always flying off the handle yet never ONCE actually denying what they are being accused of. Reminds me of me. I do crap like that. And we all know I am fucking nuts.
I once was almost feeling sorry for her with all of the weight jokes being tossed around, but the way she was behaving the last few weeks, any sympathy flew out the window. How does someone spend so much time dancing and gain weight like that? I mean, look at me for example. I am a freak of nature. Do you know how some people will eat bad and then compensate by over exercising? I cannot compensate my bad eating with exercising. For some reason, if I go above 30 minutes of exercise, 5 days a week, I tend to hold weight or even gain weight. The summer of 2009, I went through a brief period where I was doing that. I am talking a little bit of overeating and spending an hour or more exercising because I felt so horrible and guilty for overeating. And I actually gained weight! But I have never ballooned up like this bitch. The most I gained was 2 to 5 pounds and it might have been muscle for all I know. It takes an extra 3500 calories to gain a pound! How many calories a day was she consuming? About 20,000?
On a side note, I am very proud to say I have not engaged in any bulimic behavior since September. And I have actually lost weight! Huzzahs are in order!
Last week, some controversey blew up in Philly about the renaming of some wooden shack stores from "Christmas Village" to "Holiday Village" or something (I actually was there last year and I almost died of a heart attack on the spot when I came upon a stand that was literally bursting with nesting dolls) and then it concluded with the original name being kept. Yeah, I thought it was kind of stupid to change the name, but ugh, did the War On Christmas soldiers come charging out of the woodwork. I am beyond the point of being sick of hearing about this crap every year.
UGH! I wish everyone would just STFU.
I was reading the GQ article on the Sitch being the Burning Sensation of The Year, or whatever he was nominated for, and I came across a photo gallery and there was THIS. Two thoughts ran through my head- the first thing I thought was, dayum, does he have a penchant for tight pants or something? The second thing I thought was, what, no sock this time around, Mike?
*tilts head and leans closer to screen* I don't know; what do you all think? Was that definitely a sock in the last set of girl pants? I think it was.
Ha. He's all sweaty in that picture. Makes me think of the sketch from Kids In The Hall when the Chicken Lady and the Bearded Lady go to the strip club and Chicken Lady says "and I stuck a quarter in his belly button and it stayed there. Wanna know why? 'Cause he was sweaty" or something like that. Man, that was one of the BEST KITH sketches. My sister never even cracked a smile at any of the KITH sketches, but even she laughed at that one.
And I like how light conveniently shines across his chest and part of his abs. I half expected heavenly music to start blaring out of my computer speakers.
Photos - The Year in Us Weekly - September 27, 2010 - UsMagazine.com
Hey! Why do not I not recall ever seeing this issue in work? Oh. Right. Hm. I'll have to see if my local library has an issue so I can read about the Situation's "diva antics".
lol- diva antics. I'd love to know just how much of a drama queen that boy is.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Quote Of The Day
From "The Devil's Hands Are Idle Playthings":
[Scene: Planet Express: Kitchen. Bender hums as he wanders into the kitchen with a towel wrapped around his waist. He opens the fridge and screams as the Robot Devil leaps out of it.]
Robot Devil: Ah, Bender, this is a surprise! For you! Finding me in the refrigerator.
Bender: True, but at least I don't have the hiccups anymore. What up?
Robot Devil: Oh, well it so happens I'm in the mood to make a deal with you.
Bender: Forget it! You can't tempt me.
Robot Devil: Really? There's nothing you want?
Bender: Hm. I forgot you could tempt me with things I want. Well, I suppose I've always wondered what it would be like to be more annoying.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
This Is Uncomfortable And Humiliating!
Now if they could put it in the form of a situation....glue ye eyes to the screen at 0:41:
Watch Bloopers From The Situation's Workout DVD
You watched it! You can't UN-WATCH IT! *laughs sinisterly*
By all means, Mike, try not to hide it so much next time.
I can't believe I actually blushed watching that part.
I like the part when he gets all touchy feely with the other guy's back:

I wonder if that is the part when he calls the guy "butter" (sound is not good). Freudian slip? And why is he wearing that damn black hat in an exercise video? Then again, he did wear said hat in the ocean (I think Superficial user noneofurbeezwax delivered a perfectly acceptable answer to the question of why is he wearing a hat in the ocean; I think it's an acceptable answer to my question as well, eh?). And did you ever watch the way he puts his hands on his hips? He does it so....girly.
Anyway, I haven't made made my daily Futurama reference yet today, so....wait, what the hell am I talking about? I have already made two in this article alone! Oh well....now is the perfect time to put this clip I have been waiting [rather impatiently] to good use:
Watch Bloopers From The Situation's Workout DVD
You watched it! You can't UN-WATCH IT! *laughs sinisterly*
By all means, Mike, try not to hide it so much next time.
I can't believe I actually blushed watching that part.
I like the part when he gets all touchy feely with the other guy's back:
I wonder if that is the part when he calls the guy "butter" (sound is not good). Freudian slip? And why is he wearing that damn black hat in an exercise video? Then again, he did wear said hat in the ocean (I think Superficial user noneofurbeezwax delivered a perfectly acceptable answer to the question of why is he wearing a hat in the ocean; I think it's an acceptable answer to my question as well, eh?). And did you ever watch the way he puts his hands on his hips? He does it so....girly.
Anyway, I haven't made made my daily Futurama reference yet today, so....wait, what the hell am I talking about? I have already made two in this article alone! Oh well....now is the perfect time to put this clip I have been waiting [rather impatiently] to good use:
Quote Of The Day
A subtle, but hilarious part I missed the first hundred times I watched Old School:
Marissa: Listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you on your birthday.
Frank: My birthday? What do you mean?
Marissa: Yeah, last Thursday. Oh, you forgot your birthday, didn't you, Frank?
Frank: Damn it. I'm such an idiot.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Random Thoughts
Boy, I love how on rainy days the real nutty drivers come out of the woodwork. Yesterday was a really nasty rainy day and I had to use my horn so many damn times on the way to and from work, it was ridiculous. I was ready to get out of my car at a red light and rip some bitch's head off at one point after she pulled out on top of me without stopping. Why are people so fucking stupid?
For some reason, the bitching about bad drivers made me think back to sometime in April when I was driving to work and I stupidly almost caused an accident. Obviously, I was very shook up and upset because I am usually more careful than that when it comes to left hand turns, so when I got to work, I called my sister up sobbing. Not long after I got off the phone, "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley came on. And you know what? It actually made me feel a little better.
Bob makes everything better, doesn't he?
I don't know what the hell crawled up my mother's ass and died this week (apparently whatever was up mine last week; now I can't stop thinking about that episode of the Fairly Oddparents when the bug that makes Vicky evil escapes and infects everyone else), but I am apparently her punching bag this week. The other night, she didn't feel like cooking so she suggested we put money together and get pizza and right away my dad decides to go with Pizza Hut. I don't want Pizza Hut and since I am paying towards it, I want a vote. I simply say if they want Pizza Hut they can get it themselves and I'll get something else. Immediately she starts freaking out and tells me "you're getting on my nerves". What in the FUCK was the big deal in what I said? They get what they want, I get what I want. What is the problem? Am I missing something here? I don't see what the big deal is in them getting what they want and me getting something else. Oh and then it turns into I am getting on her nerves about my weight. Me not wanting Pizza Hut had nothing (not completely) to do with it being a million calories. I wanted generic pizza.
I was feeling pretty nasty when she started on me and I had to almost bite my tongue completely off to keep from responding to her "you're getting on my nerves" with "well, I can easily stop getting on your nerves now can't I?". God, I hate that. Any time someone pisses me off, my first instinct is always to threaten suicide. I don't know why, other than the fact that I am absolutely bat-shit fucking insane. Do I really mean my threat? Usually no. I think about suicide and death constantly, but with the exception of the time I was on Wellbutrin, I have never actually had any idea or formulated plan of how I would do it. Whenever I think about it, I always think of that line from Girl Interrupted, which I assume is referring to suicide methods:
For some reason, the bitching about bad drivers made me think back to sometime in April when I was driving to work and I stupidly almost caused an accident. Obviously, I was very shook up and upset because I am usually more careful than that when it comes to left hand turns, so when I got to work, I called my sister up sobbing. Not long after I got off the phone, "Three Little Birds" by Bob Marley came on. And you know what? It actually made me feel a little better.
Bob makes everything better, doesn't he?
I don't know what the hell crawled up my mother's ass and died this week (apparently whatever was up mine last week; now I can't stop thinking about that episode of the Fairly Oddparents when the bug that makes Vicky evil escapes and infects everyone else), but I am apparently her punching bag this week. The other night, she didn't feel like cooking so she suggested we put money together and get pizza and right away my dad decides to go with Pizza Hut. I don't want Pizza Hut and since I am paying towards it, I want a vote. I simply say if they want Pizza Hut they can get it themselves and I'll get something else. Immediately she starts freaking out and tells me "you're getting on my nerves". What in the FUCK was the big deal in what I said? They get what they want, I get what I want. What is the problem? Am I missing something here? I don't see what the big deal is in them getting what they want and me getting something else. Oh and then it turns into I am getting on her nerves about my weight. Me not wanting Pizza Hut had nothing (not completely) to do with it being a million calories. I wanted generic pizza.
I was feeling pretty nasty when she started on me and I had to almost bite my tongue completely off to keep from responding to her "you're getting on my nerves" with "well, I can easily stop getting on your nerves now can't I?". God, I hate that. Any time someone pisses me off, my first instinct is always to threaten suicide. I don't know why, other than the fact that I am absolutely bat-shit fucking insane. Do I really mean my threat? Usually no. I think about suicide and death constantly, but with the exception of the time I was on Wellbutrin, I have never actually had any idea or formulated plan of how I would do it. Whenever I think about it, I always think of that line from Girl Interrupted, which I assume is referring to suicide methods:
razors pain you, rivers are damp, acid stains you, drugs cause cramps, gun aren't lawful, nooses give, gas smells awful, you might as well liveSeriously, sometimes I wish someone would save me the trouble.
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