Ugh I can't believe tomorrow is only Wednesday. Get here quickly, weekend!
The past two days have been frustrating. Why? I do not know. I keep waking up cranky and depressed and it takes a major effort to finally haul my ass out of bed. All I want to do is lay back down and sleep. I cry every morning at work and at this point, I don't give a flying fuck if anyone catches me. Because it has nothing to do with work. I am tired and overwhelmed with life. My heart feels like it's going to break. I have to deal with wanting something that I feel ashamed for wanting. I have no idea where I am going and I feel completely lost. I don't know where to go!
I am so tired of stupid people. I was just reading comments in response to Ryan Dunn's death on the Action News Facebook page (a mecca of dumbass comments) and it is astonishing how many consider these deaths "sad". No, it is not
sad. And then the crap starts up about who are we to judge and are we perfect and never make mistakes. Am I perfect? No. Do I make mistakes? Yes, more than the average person. But this? This was
not a mistake. It was pure Grade A
stupidity and I don't feel an ounce of sympathy for his death. Drinking and driving
do not mix! I cannot understand for the life of me why that is so goddamn fucking hard for people to comprehend?!
The only thing that is getting me through the days right now is the small miniscule amount of hope I cling to that I might see that guy I saw last week. I don't understand why I cannot get him off of my mind. But I feel like I am going to flip if I do not get to see him again. And I keep hoping that maybe, just maybe, one of the times I look out the front window, I will see that ugly ass white Toyota. I think the entire world will hear my squee. What? Yes, I get up and look through out the day. I know- it's kind of creepy, but I swear, it's completely harmless! But I will not deny that I would love to go over to the business one day and demand to know who he is, because I swear, if I do not find out who he is, I (and my very confused heart) will burst.
Also....I am sick of seeing previews for that new Cameron Diaz movie, where she plays a teacher. My God, that movie looks so fucking stupid, it makes my head hurt. I hope to God it bombs.