Random Thoughts

I just visited D-Listed and there was an article about that Honey Boo Boo show and how they supposedly make $40,000 a season. I really want someone to tell me why people watch shit like this. And every other POS reality show on TV. I am tired of hearing the excuse that oh it's like a car wreck you can't turn away. BULL. SHIT. Why on God's good earth do you want to help these people make tons of money for being fucking lowlife scum?

That family is the worst. That mother is beyond disgusting and vile. I can't even look at pictures of her without wanting to projectile vomit. The only smart thing the dumb cow ever said was when she made fun of fat people in bikinis and with their fat hanging everywhere. It's the truth. No one wants to see your fat hanging everywhere. If Americans want to know why the rest of the world laughs at, just look at people like this. And politics, especially the Republican party.

I have a deep unhealthy hatred for child beauty pageants. They make me sick. Anyone who subjects their child to them should be revoked of their parenting privileges. They are abuse, plain and simple. When I was down Myrtle Beach, we were over at Barefoot Landing and I stopped in one of the bathrooms and there were these two young women with a little girl and they had the little girl practicing her beauty pageant speech. It made me want to throw up.

Sorry I am cranky. I went to Cracker Barrel for dinner and my sister and I split the apple dumpling dessert. Out of curiosity I came home and googled nutrition facts for CB and found the dessert is 3229 calories. I almost hit the roof. I want to cry so bad. I wouldn't care so much if I hadn't been bad Saturday and Monday as well. Ugh. My meal had to have been at least 2500 calories. That is sick. I've had the dessert before and never gained weight, and I am sure anytime I go to the Cheesecake Factory my meal is about that if not more, but I still feel so damn guilty.

I couldn't stand having the Addison's fear, but having my weight on the front burner again is not any more of a picnic. It's frustrating worrying constantly about gaining weight. And worrying that the constant worrying of gaining weight is going to lead to an eating disorder. I recall when reading on eating disorders that a lot of people with EDs feel like their eating and weight are the only things they can control in their life. And I do feel like that, because the rest of my life I feel like I have completely lost control of. And that is what worries me.