Random Thoughts

My "interview" the other day went well. I had to take a couple short quizzes, which my former manager told me to not over think them. I ended up doing extremely well on them, as well as the typing test. I also had to do a brief performance of what I would be doing and I am assuming I did well on that as well. My FM told me that she was going to highly recommend me for the job and as far as she is concerned, I have the job. So hopefully something will come of this.

However, maybe I am just uber sensitive this week due to my impending period, but I left feeling really shitty  from how my former coworkers acted towards me. My FWA and I talked for a while and yes, I finally had no choice but to congratulate her on her pregnancy. But everyone else was just.....well, not friendly. I felt and still feel worthless from it. And last night when I was trying to unsuccessfully fall asleep, I thought about how my FM raves about me and my work ethics.....and then I thought about the time she spent over a half hour bad-mouthing me with the racist bitch. And all I could think is, how can I believe anything that comes out of her mouth?

Lately I have been having really bad anxiety about doing anything for fear of something bad happening. I don't want to ask anyone to do anything with me or if someone asks me if I need something while they are out I don't want to ask them to do something for me because I am worried something bad will happen and I will never be able to forgive myself. I have all of these horrible images running through my head constantly. I don't necessarily want to end my life, but I would like to rip my brain out of my head and splatter it all over the walls. Getting real tired of its shit. Too bad a mind can't be reinstalled like computer software.

So while I am blindly enjoying the music, I am seeing mixed reviews about the new MGMT album. Some people absolutely love it and others loathe it. I have read some pretty harsh reviews of it, including a particularly harsh one that not only seemed to have a vendetta for the band, but also called Andrew an asshole (hdu). My only real complaint about the album is I wish the vocals on many of the songs were a little louder. I have a difficult time hearing them. As for the songs:

"Alien Days"- I think 270+ play counts of it since I magically obtained a copy of it two days after Record Store Day speaks volumes of what I think of it

"Cool Song no. 2"- like the song; that video, though....

"Mystery Disease"- like it

"Introspection"- one of my favorites; they pull off covers well

"Your Life is a Lie"- love it

"A Good Sadness"- one of my favorites

"Astro-Mancy"- no opinion yet. I remember reading somewhere that it was inspired after Andrew saw the Northern Lights in Iceland. I can see that, although my favorite thing to listen to when looking at pictures of the Northern Lights (since I have sadly never seen them in person) is "Siberian Breaks".

"I Love You Too, Death"- this was one I thought I would really like, since I have an overt fixation with death, but so far I don't particularly care for it

"Plenty of Girls in the Sea"- not a particular fan of this one, either. That Jimmy Fallon performance, though.....LOL

"An Orphan of Fortune"- will likely become a favorite

Bits and parts of this album remind me a little of Depeche Mode's Playing the Angel.

And so, as you know, they are coming to Philly in December and I am really hoping I can go. What better birthday gift? I said something to my sister about it the night I found out and she didn't say anything about going, although she did send me a message telling me her husband asked if he has to go. Um, no. And I wouldn't really want him there trying to control everything, anyway. I don't know if that meant she would go or what. I said something to my mother about it the next day and she said "I guess I will have to go with you?" and then something about my birthday.

I wish I knew what was going on, though, because I want to try to get tickets ASAP. Although I am incredibly confused about ticket purchasing. The pre-sale started Friday and I don't know if only fan club members can order them or I could order them. But I need to know how many to get and I want to know if I don't get a choice in choosing where to sit. And if I wait until the day the Electric Factory starts, then will I get to choose my seats? That was the nice thing about Musikfest, getting to choose where to sit. They are the only music concert tickets I have ever purchased, so I don't know much on how it works. Argh, I am so goddamn confused!

10:11PM: Um.....I do not believe there are seats at the Electric Factory. That explains why there is no choice of seats on the website. Fuck. I really want to see them again, but whether I can deal with that kind of atmosphere is a horse of another color.