The I Have No Idea What To Call It Of The Day

Went down Seaside Saturday evening. My sister decides she needs to stop in the restroom right across from the Shore Store. There was a pretty large crowd outside and they were all watching the store. My mother and I just hung over by a lamp post amongst the mass of people and I kept my head facing the ocean. I heard some brat, who should not even know who these cretins are, say that Mike was in the store. I was less than 25 feet away from this. This that I have had more sexual fantasies about than should legally be allowed for one human (sickening, isn't it?). *starts hyperventilating, collapses on floor, and rocks back and forth with thumb in mouth*

If I didn't dislike my face so much, you bet your bottom dollar the second I heard that kid say Mike Sorrentino was in there, I would have charged through the crowd like a football player. They were all fucking animals anyway, in the crowd, so who do I care who I hurt? Some fat old ugly ass Puerto Rican bitch almost knocked my mother over running to get a look at Pauly D who was apparently a little ways up the boardwalk. I was half tempted to chase her down, grab her by her hair and pull her to the ground and say "hey bitch, learn some fucking manners! Oh and newsflash- Pauly D ain't going to give your fat fucking grenade ass the time of day anyway!"

I know a lot of people think he is ugly (I want to say I feel bad for him whenever anyone calls him ugly. But then I think of that massive ego and all sympathy evaporates), and I have seen some rather unattractive pictures of him where I can see why people call him ugly, plus there is the whole he looks so greasy that I would probably slide off the bed and break my face if I jumped and attacked him, but I think he looks cute in that picture. He looks normal. And un-douchebaggy.

Besides, I never understand why people complain about Mike being ugly. Look at Vinny. That kid's face looks like a fucking Picasso painting. I don't know why I ever said he was cute. Whenever I see him on the show bitching about grenades hitting on him and pretty much implying how dare they do so and then I look at his face, I want to punch him so bad and then kick him in the nuts.

I seen some comment on Oh No They Didn't that said the person thinks Mike has unresolved sexual tensions for Ronnie. I laughed, then I kind of thought about it. Like I know there was apparently something about Sammi choosing Ronnie over Mike and all that, but....I don't know. I still get the worst gay vibe from Mike, and maybe, just maybe, that is why he starts all that crap between the two of them. Maybe he is a psycho and if he can't have Ronnie, no one can!

I should mention that he would be wise to start sleeping with one eye open, because there is a possibility that his reign as king of my celebrity crush world could be overthrown very shortly.