Random Thoughts

Alright, I don't know what is going on with my body. I don't particularly want to discuss this, but this inter-cycle bleeding is starting to really worry me. Every month, probably for the past three or four months, right around ovulation time, I start bleeding. Not heavy, but not particularly light. I don't know what possible hormone could be out of whack, or what could be going on. My face has been breaking out nonstop. I want to cry. I need to go to the doctor, but thanks to my stupid mouth, I need to keep putting money out to get unnecessary cavities filled.

And do you know what this is bringing back? The fear of Addison's disease. I swear to God, I am never going to get rid of that fear.

I just viewed more pictures of the destruction left by Sandy and I cannot believe what Seaside looks like now. Much of the boardwalk is gone. This extended pier that came out over the water that I adored going out on is gone. Where I once looked down and saw a fever of stingrays (yes, I googled that) swim by. All of the Jersey shores are in such bad shape. My heart is broken. I always talk about how much I dislike Jersey, but the shore points are one of the main reasons I would never leave. And while I have spent many years thinking how I would love to move down the shore someday, after Irene and Sandy, I am reconsidering that.

I haven't seen many pictures of my true shore love, Wildwood, but I think the boardwalk is okay down there. Areas are pretty flooded, though.

And that fire in Breezy Point. Mother of God. That area looks post-apocalyptic. That was one of the most haunting set of pictures I have ever saw. And this may sound really stupid, as I don't know the whole situation, but how did so much burn when there was so much damn rain?

I see some of the pictures of rescuers and I think how I'd like to do that, but then I see the pictures of the devastated people and I change my mind. I would never be strong enough to do so. If someone broke down crying in front of me, I'd break down and cry with them. I'd be that person on the news holding the other person while sitting on the ground wailing our heads off.

I was looking at the pictures when "Siberian Breaks" came on and considering many of the pictures are of the ocean, it made it kind of eerie.