Ugh

Today is probably the worst I have felt so far. I didn't sleep well. I woke up feeling hot and sweaty and very anxious. My heart has been racing all day. I was soaked by the time I got off my bike and I started feeling short of breath and had to go sit down for a few minutes to try to catch my breath and get my heart to calm down, as well as cool down. I started to have a panic attack in the shower and had to sit down on the tub floor and try to calm myself down. I am still feeling very anxious and depressed. I am very nauseous and bloated. My stomach feels like it's on fire and the pain is through to my upper back as well. My whole body is aching, especially my legs (which briefly made me panic that I was getting the flu again but that was a different leg pain).

I really would like to see what Prozac can do for me again, but I honestly don't know how much longer I can take feeling so awful. It's one thing to ride through the physical side effects, but the emotional side effects are a whole other story. Many mentally ill people already have a fragile state of mind and should not have to be subjected to their bad feelings being exacerbated before getting better. Especially if those feelings involve suicidal feelings.

I was debating whether to try taking a pill every other day for now and I didn't take one at 8 (my assigned time to take it), but by 9 I was feeling overwhelmingly guilty and ended up take one. I don't know what to do. All I know is I don't want to feel so shitty anymore.