Random Thoughts

Today is my BIL's birthday. Frankly, I don't see why I should have to wish him a happy birthday or waste my time buying a card or use my own earned money to give him anything when he hates celebrating his birthday. Apparently, he doesn't like to be sang to. So we have a cake and that's it, no singing, if it's that much of a big deal. But for the love of God, there is no one who hates being sang to more than me and I fucking deal with it every year.

I wonder if he'll not get my sister anything for Mother's Day again this year. She's a better person than I am, because if I popped out my husband's kid and he didn't get me anything for Mother's Day, I'd give him divorce papers for Father's Day. In a box all wrapped up in nice manly paper.

So of course my FWA had to keep her word and pop in on Thursday with her brat. I don't know, she's a cute baby, but at the same time she isn't; I think it's because of who her mother is and the fact that she looks so much like her father. But the best part was when she was leaving and tells us all that we're going to be invited to her brat's christening party later in the spring. I smiled and said "Oh. Great!" while my brain was screaming "NOOOOOOOO" at an ungodly decibel level. Seriously, bitch? It's almost cute how much she thinks we all really like her.

She went to some play place on Friday and later on posted 86 pictures from it. Maybe because I am not a mother, but I don't understand the need to take that many damn pictures of your child playing. And the batch of pictures wasn't complete without several close-ups of her with the baby. She is someone who seriously needs to learn that close-ups aren't for her.

My period is expected to come tomorrow- whether it will or not is a horse of another color- but I still feel like I am not feeling as spastic or flying off the handle like I usually do. Well, there have been a few instances of major irritability, including a snap out on Thursday night when I was planning on having mac and cheese with dinner and found out my mom was making corn and because I have such issues with food going to waste I ended up having to figure out something else to eat (And simply eating both was out of the question because come on, mac and cheese and corn together? With my stomach?). A complete over-reaction, I know.

I'm still only taking Prozac every other day. At some point I guess I am going to have to try it every day, but I am not ready for that yet. So far my weight has been okay, but I am just afraid that if I start taking more then I am going to start to see weight gain.

My sister is trying to drag me into some drama between her and Mom. At first I tried ignoring her text and then a few hours later I got a text asking if I got it. Oh, okay, I guess it's always okay for her to ignore my texts half the time; unlike her, though, I don't go chasing after her to see if she read mine if she doesn't respond because if she doesn't respond then she doesn't really give a shit. And she keeps texting me and I feel like writing her back to leave me the hell alone.

I feel guilty for feeling like that and I feel horribly guilty that I don't even have the balls to defend my mother (my sister definitely isn't in the right with this situation) and I am so fucking hot right now and I feel like just freaking the fuck out. I swear to God, if I could go away forever, I would.