Random Thoughts

I almost thought I would have to write off seeing my commercial this weekend, since I didn't see it last night and I just realized the Paralympics are running and pretty sure the company is a sponsor, but I just saw it during Cosby a few hours ago. Yay!

You know, I still don't know what in the hell has crawled up my ass and died, but it really needs to get out, because I am really becoming one miserable bitch. I don't know what my problem is. I threw a huge fit earlier because I planned on having soup for lunch and there were no Townhouse crackers. I don't even know why it pissed me off so bad, except for the fact that if some people are going to be fucking pigs and hog everything, then they need to freaking replace it.

I am also starting to get really funny about going out. I can't stand being in, but I really just do not want to go out and do anything. And if I am out, after so long, I start getting really antsy and just want to go home. Immediately. Like if I don't get home soon, I am going to freak. I have to go to a wedding reception in a few weeks and I am dreading it so much already.

One day in work last week, my FWA's friend decided that everyone in the office needs to start stretching every so often. And our most senior employee made some comment about how if I was to join in, I'd disappear into nothing. And my FWA's friend just thought that was so funny and had to repeat it to the coworkers who weren't there when it was originally said. Now maybe I am just being overly sensitive, because I am sure they meant nothing by it, but it seriously pissed me off. First off, it's only stretching. It's not going to make me lose weight. Second, I am sick and tired of hearing the comments about how people want to look like me. Well, you can't eat out every day, sometimes several times a day, and expect to look like me!

I know they're compliments, but I am seriously tired of hearing this crap. It's not like I am one of those people who can eat and eat and eat and never gain weight. I work my ass off to maintain my weight. I am extremely sensitive about my body image and having to hear this all of the time, I start feeling like I am being criticized. Criticized for watching what I eat and exercising (I know that probably makes no sense). And if people knew some of the things I have done to keep my weight down (e.g. purging occasionally), they may change their minds quickly.

Also, I have been talking a lot with my FWA and even as much as she drives me nuts, I am starting to feel kind of guilty about bad-mouthing her so much. I don't know why. I often wonder if maybe I am just too paranoid and untrusting of people and maybe she does actually really like me, but....chances are, probably not. Pretty sure she talks about me behind my back.

Ugh, I can't believe it is already Sunday. And this work week is already off to a great start- I have to find a new route to work, because the road I take is going to be closed. Pot hole repair, I assume. God knows how long that will take.