I Too Need Anger Management

Last night, I couldn't sleep, so I went out and flopped my fat ass on the couch and went through all the channels and then found True Life on MTV 2. TL is a show I actually kind of enjoy watching. Last night's was about young people who need anger management and I thought, boy, do they ever. Especially that John kid. Man, he was angry as shit.

And then while watching it, I started to realize, holy shit, these people are a lot like me. I am actually a bit more restraint with my anger. Instead of physically displaying it, I take the worst road and internalize it and leave it bottled up until one of these days I am going to drop dead of a heart attack or stroke. I'll occasionally show it, but even then, it still is a lot more controlled than I would like it to be. There are more times than I can count that I have wanted to smash my car windows, punch a hole in the wall, throw my computer out the window, smash the TV, rip someone's hair out with my bare hands, etc. I don't even know how my computer still works with all of the times I have kicked the shit out of the tower.

A few years ago, I was drug to the mall and this blonde bitch just nochalantly rams right into me and offers no apology or anything and when I said something, she mimics me. Most normal people would have just simply brushed it off. Not me. It took every ounce of my willpower not to go after her fat ass and grab her by her hair and drag her across the floor with it. When I was at the movies on New Years Eve, it took every ounce of my willpower to not go back to those fat bitches that wouldn't shut the fuck up and tear their hair out.

My temper worries me because I fear there is going to come a time when I will not be able to completely control it and I am going to really hurt someone.