Random Thoughts

I was checking my email earlier and I had an email from the website I was talking with that girl through and I thought oh maybe she finally decided to write me back. But it wasn't her, it was just a website update notification. And I felt really disappointed and felt like crying. I'm really bugged by this. I am sick of this happening, opening up to someone only to have the door slammed in my face. And I am not sending her another email. I have already sent two. I done my part of keeping in touch. And the next time someone offers to talk with me, I am declining because I am not going to get comfortable and open up to someone only to have them turn around and desert me AGAIN.

And people wonder why almost every night I go to bed hoping I don't wake up? Or why I don't really socialize with people and don't try to make friends? Well, here you go.

I am feeling super emotional right now. I don't know if it's my period coming or what, although as usual, I am stressing out over whether it is going to come or not. Another thing I am sick of, worrying whether my period is going to come or not or if I am going to bleed between periods. And my stomach feels horrible. I am so bloated and uncomfortable and I haven't gone to the bathroom since Saturday (sorry) and I feel like screaming, especially because now it's getting bad enough to exacerbate my heartburn, so now I feel nauseous on top of being bloated.