Random Thoughts

So I get an email on Friday from my boss asking me if I would be willing to do an hour of overtime everyday for the next two weeks. I agreed to it, but an extra 5 hours a week at that place? Yuck!

*sighs* Think of the money.....gotta keep telling myself that. I get time and a half for OT, but I am wondering what will come of the week of Memorial Day, because we have off (finally) and I am wondering if all of my OT will end up being straight pay. I am not down with that.

I walked out to my car during lunch on Friday and all I kept thinking was, if I had my FWA in front of me right now, I'd rip her face off. And I, like my coworkers, have a feeling that when she comes back she is going to try to get fired. If that isn't already her intention. She isn't on FMLA, so technically I think she has no job protection. Stupid cow. Have fun finding a new job. And have fun finding a job that will put up your bullshit of constantly being late and calling out.

I don't think I ever mentioned this, but my FWA's friend did end up getting unemployment. I was astonished. I honest to God had no idea you could even get unemployment when you were fired until my brother-in-law got fired from his job. But I am really surprised our company didn't try to fight her getting it. It's not like they didn't have enough ammunition against her. And the sad thing is, she still thinks she did nothing wrong. That woman has no priorities whatsoever. She has no money and apparently lost her apartment and is living with her ex, but somehow managed to go down Ocean City for the weekend a few weeks ago. Just like in work she always bitched she had no money and lived paycheck to paycheck but somehow could manage to spend well over $50 in lunch alone a week. That doesn't even include her stuff from Wawa.

Thursday ended up not being as terrible as I thought it would be, although I did have to take care of a chart that was for a 10AM appointment. And not long after I got in, my boss asked me to do something else and I did a little bit of it and then said to her that I needed to finish that chart and I was not sure if I would even be able to get it done by the appointment time and I started to get a little panicky and my boss says to me "are you getting upset?!" and I said yes I am, because I am still freaking bugged by what [home worker] said! And then I thought about it later and got really pissed off. I'm sorry I am just so terrible at controlling my emotions at times! JFC.

I did get the chart done by 10:20AM. Thank god the doctor was running late that day!

I seriously get so pissed off when other people get pissed off at me for getting upset easily. I am sure much of it has to do with having mental illness, but I think part of it is just my nature. I remember always getting easily upset and embarrassed in elementary school and probably even long before that whenever someone scolded me, while others would always just brush it off. And I still think it was completely uncool of my boss to bring it up at my last job performance to her boss (or whatever he is now). I wanted to slide under the table and die, I was so mortified.

I am done with these women problems I am having. Yesterday I felt like my left ovary was on fire and my back was all crampy. Today I had pain in my left lower side and I was extremely bloated and nauseous and had some bleeding. And I have been crampy off and on throughout the day. But the worst is the bloating. I am so uncomfortable. I really wish I knew what in the hell was going on in there. Is there a cyst again? And is it possible to get cysts every damn month? Or is it something else? And I feel like I get nowhere with doctors. It's like oh here is some birth control see how that works out for you. I don't want to take birth control! Unless I am having sex! And that is clearly not happening anytime soon! I just want to know what is going on in there. I am not fond of the idea of having a laparoscopy, but if it came down to it, I would go through with it.

Of course earlier I started panicking over early menopause. I don't even know why it still upsets me, since I apparently am no longer afraid of Addison's disease. And you want to know the weird thing? I am no longer afraid of it, but I still think about it a lot. And still read up on it. The other day I was reading through "Adrenal Crisis in Emergency Medicine". Why? I don't know.

And one more thing- I had the strawberry shortcake Blizzard tonight. I wouldn't say it was one of my top top favorites, but it was pretty good. The cake pieces are really good.