FML

The menopause- make that perimenopause- fear is back in full force. I am not overly concerned with atrophic vaginitis right now, since apparently my vaginal area looked perfectly healthy, although now I am just thinking well, maybe it hasn't started yet. I feel so lousy right now (nauseous, dizziness, cramping, my body temp feels off) and I am so worried my period is going to come early, which is the last thing I need because all I will think is shorter cycle = perimenopause. I cannot calm down for shit. I should probably take an Ativan but I keep hesitating to take them too much. But I really could use one.

I had a great night of sleep....until about 3:45AM. I woke up to pee and then could not fall back to sleep. And then it was hot, cold, hot, cold, etc, which really ramped up my anxiety levels. I did eventually fall back asleep but I felt like- and still feel like- crap.