Saturday, September 6, 2014

Random Thoughts

Got my period Monday. I am still bleeding. Yes, it doesn't sound like a big deal, but I don't normally bleed like this for this long. I am also exhausted, nauseous as hell, bloated, cramping, and having heart palpitations so of course I am convinced it's perimenopause and I am having an epic meltdown. And having these epic meltdowns is creating even more epic ones, because I start wondering if the reason I am having these epic meltdowns is because my hormones are going postal. All I can see is my period not going away any time soon. I think I will have the meltdown to end all meltdowns.

I had to spend the whole 8.5 hours in work trying to keep it together, but all I wanted to do was break down. I texted my sister at one point when I started to get to the point that I was going to come apart any moment and as expected, my text went unheeded. My mom told me I am being foolish earlier. Oh, but everyone cares about me, right? Oh, but my mom understand what I am going through, right? I am supposed to talk to these people? Yeah, okay.

Guess my impending vacation will be a real blast. Just like my trip down the shore in August, except at least this time work isn't a part of the ruination of it.

It's times like these I wish I would just get the guts to fucking do myself in already.

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