Because for some inexplicably cruel reason I like to fan the flames of that nightmarish condition known as OCD, I decided to Google image pictures of atrophic vaginitis. It didn't help, mostly because it still gave me no idea what to look for. Not that I am a doctor and would know anyway. Also, it grossed me out. I don't even like looking at my own fucking vadge, let alone some stranger's on the internet. You'd think I would notice any change considering I have looked at it often in the past. Of course, the last time I was repeatedly checking it was when I was only looking for signs of hyperpigmentation, so I didn't really study the structure of it or anything. All I know is if I can't get examined soon and have someone tell me whether everything looks okay or not, I am going to lose my freaking mind. I'll never be able to hold off until August 19th.
I am also now worried my bladder is leaking and am getting paranoid about that.
Whenever I mention that I am worried I am going through early menopause, the first thing I am generally asked is why do I think I am. So.....why do I think I am? Because of:
1) bleeding in between periods
2) mood swings
3) breakouts
4) discomfort and occasional itching down below
5) bladder and urethral discomfort
6) feeling like my body thermostat is off (hot, cold, hot, cold, etc)
7) insomnia
8) digestive system issues and bloating
9) depression, anxiety, irritability
10) heart palpitations and feelings of irregularity
I'd list the reasons why I may not be but I am afraid of jinxing myself.
On another note, there is a gif over on Yahoo's homepage of raining French fries next to an article about McRat's fries. I can't stop watching it. IT'S SO MESMERIZING.
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