Random Thoughts

Well, I knew my fear of having Addison's disease wouldn't stay away for long. I have been having issues with feeling light-headed when I stand at times over the past few days, so right away that reeled it back in some. I give up. I really do. I have no idea what to do for myself. What in the hell did I do on vacation that made it go away? Is it something in my diet? The only two things I did not have on vacation was sugar free Jell-O and the angel food cakes. Could one of them being doing it? I won't know unless I try cutting one or the other out for a week or so.

And I have been so goddamn depressed the past few days, I am beside myself. When I read that story the other day about Chloe, that dog that was set on fire, I cried for more than 20 minutes. I looked at the picture of her on the WPVI page and that was it. I started sobbing and choking from crying so hard. I was on the floor the next day stocking up on toilet paper and I had my iPod playing and "I Found A Whistle" on and I thought of Chloe and I started sobbing again. I just cannot fathom setting an animal on fire. Or any kind of abuse. How cruel can you be?

Goddamn that song for making me cry every time I hear it. *narrows eyes* And goddamn me for not being able to keep my weaknesses a secret.

I ran to Wal-Fart earlier and the one road I have to turn off of is a real bitch to make a right hand turn from. I was hot and not feeling good and very depressed and anxious over not feeling good from the heat, so I said fuck it, I am not even going to bother trying to turn. Next thing I know, the lady behind me honks and I look in my rear view mirror and she is pointing at me to turn. I was really not in the mood for people's assholish behavior, so I gave her the finger and I decided I definitely wasn't going to turn, just to piss her off (don't point out my hypocrisy). And then I see her pull out and she actually went around me and made the turn. I was like are you for real? I thought she was going to start trouble with me at first, which would not have been a good idea. I don't even want to be around myself in the heat. Lord knows what I would have said or done. But come on, no one says you have to turn on red, for god's sake. Chill the hell out.

This has not been a good week for me to like people. My sister and my parents had a huge miscommunication about a moving truck, which lead to small arguments, my sister refuses to admit she is at fault, and I had to listen to my sister bitch that she wishes she could divorce family sometimes. Yeah. Nice way to thank us for all of our back-breaking work helping you move.