Ugh

Since WebMD predicted the past few days to be my highest fertility periods, which I take to mean ovulation time, I have been closely keeping an eye on things. And I have only had 2 instances of what would be considered signs of ovulation and I am starting to get really upset and anxious that I am not ovulating this month and I won't see my period on or around its predicted date of November 2nd. My heart is racing so hard and I am shaking so bad right now I just want to cry. I feel really lightheaded and like I want to pass out. I can't deal with worrying about this every goddamn month.

And since I read that article last night, I have been really anxious. All that poor woman did was have a phobia of taking showers.What if I were to tell a doctor or therapist about That Thing and it landed me in a state facility? You know, I don't even know what I would do if I told a specialist about That Thing and got criticized for it. I think that would be the second most ultimate shame (after telling my family and getting shunned for it). I think that would be it for this whole life thing. Game over.