I seriously am getting more and more excited about getting out of there. It's ridiculous and I hate that I am feeling this way, because I certainly do not want to be losing my job but I just cannot wait to get away from those people. I am so sick of the drama and backstabbing (although I have to face the fact, as well as hate knowing, that drama and backstabbing are both going to be awaiting me somewhere else). I am tired of working with people who are all older than me but have the maturity of grade schoolers. I saw more mature behavior when I worked in the two year old classroom in the daycare I worked at the summer after I graduated high school.
I am keeping my fingers crossed that my next job will contain coworkers who do stuff worthy of submitting to Monday Thru Friday. Now I know I am weird as anything, but I swear no one has any sense of humor in that place. I certainly want to work in a structured work place (which mine is not that either), but I want some frigging fun and jokes as well!
The other day I was discussing a new procedure with the racist bitch in work (I am now going to be doing my job before she does hers) and another coworker (one who I actually genuinely like) and the RB was saying how she hated having to wait to do her job and how she felt really bad making me have to wait and that one day I was there until 5 waiting for her. I wanted to laugh uproariously and say "hold on there honey- 1) I was there until 5:30 that day 2) it was 3 fucking files I had to wait on, which I know damn well you were taking your time doing because you knew I was pissed and 3) I also know damn well you do not feel one ounce of bad making me wait because if you did, you would worry about doing your job instead of texting, playing on Facebook, or talking to people who you hate and who hate you as well". Who is she kidding? I admit that I do have my share of dumb moments, but my mother did not raise a fool.
And speaking of foolishness....I am really kind of hoping this is just hormones talking right now, but for the past week or so, I have actually been worried over the current state of my mind. I am really scared I am going to go completely insane one of these days. The state I am in is very unpleasant and terrifying. There is a line from "You Will Leave A Mark" by A Silent Film that constantly rings through my head- "I am so ashamed of what I have become". And I have. Most of the times I am freaking out on someone, there is a voice in the back of my head saying what is wrong with you? What are you doing?! Stop! But it's like this demon just takes hold and won't let go. However, I almost to the point that if I cannot be completely sane and insanity would still be a more pleasant state than what I am in right now, I will take completely losing my mind.
Anyway, as promised, the screenshot of the Sitch's posting that has me completely convinced:
A lollipop, Mike? Seriously? Reality stars will take whatever comes their way, won't they?
I have so many gay and phallic jokes running through my head, I can't even think straight.
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