Every time I hear this song, this is all I see in my head:
Saturday, October 19, 2013
Song Of The Day
My stanning is in full-blast again. The sad thing is, I don't even know when I am being serious and when I am exaggerating anymore.
Every time I hear this song, this is all I see in my head:
Every time I hear this song, this is all I see in my head:
Random Thoughts
I mentioned a few posts ago that it was the 5th birthday of this "blog", and almost 2 years since I was initially laid off from my job. It was also recently the anniversary of one of the worst hypochondriac fears I have ever encountered. It was October 3. No fear ever shook me like Addison's disease. And I am ashamed to admit it, but the thing that probably shook me up the most was the fact that if I had it, I would have to go on steroids and I would probably get fat. I think I can finally say I do not have it, but I do still have moments. For instance, on Thursday night, I started feeling really off balance and shaky, and right away I was in taking my blood pressure. It was 103/61. Still not considered low, but it was getting there, especially on the bottom. And I felt the same way Friday, and I had two episodes of feeling light-headed when I stood up. I am still not feeling too hot. I have so much pressure in my ears. In fact, I feel similar to how I did before I lost my job. It wouldn't surprise me. I do believe there is probably mold and shit in that place. I think I won't be as bad as I was with believing I have it, but I don't think I will ever completely stop. I think there will still be moments where I get scared I have it. Not to mention I feel if I let go of the fear completely, I will jinx myself. It's a really fucked up mentality.
I think the reason I am feeling so lousy is a combination of allergies and I just got my period. I think that is why I felt so lousy the past couple days. I hate how I feel before it comes. I am so exhausted I can't even stand it. And nauseous as anything. I feel like throwing up. And once again, another week has gone by and I am still 124 pounds on the scale. I would say well, maybe I did just gain weight, but with as bloated as I am, I really think it has something to do with that. And my whole lower left side is hard and slightly more bloated than the right. What on earth is going on in there? And I still keep putting off having this ultrasound done. I could just wait until I get medical in December, but I am tired of putting it off. If they find a cyst or something, though, the temptation to be a smartass and post it to Facebook is going to be too great.
In work, when we are allowed to listen to the radio, we listen to B101. That station is just the worst. And I think they must have a Katy Perry quota to meet every day. I heard five songs by her before noon. Five! It was torturous. They might play a good song here and there, but the majority of the songs are just awful. And Friday was the first time I actually heard that "Blurred Lines" in full. Of course a song like that would be incredibly popular. Horrible. Just horrible.
Most radio stations are awful, but when I do listen to the radio I generally stick with 98.1 (the not so oldies station) or Radio104.5. They play their fair share of shit ("Freshmen" by the Verve, Third Eye Blind and the rest of the frat boy bands, Panic At the Disco, all Fall Out Boy songs except "My Songs"), but they are the only station who plays MGMT. And sure, it's only "Kids" and "Time To Pretend", and for a while there, they played "YLIAL" on the new music show, but I like those songs, so I will always gleefully listen to them when they come on.
You know, somehow I manage to keep forgetting I am going to see them in December. I am slightly dreading it, to be honest. I am extremely stoked about seeing them, but I am really worried about the whole crowd situation. I hope it ends up being good, though. I really wish they would start playing a little more off of the new album. I love "YLIAL", but I am already getting a little tired of it being the one song they always perform. Come on. Play some "A Good Sadness" and "An Orphan of Fortune". And retire some of their old repertoire already (but do not, and I repeat DO NOT, ever retire "Siberian Breaks", "I Found A Whistle", and "Of Moon, Birds, and Monsters". Especially "I Found A Whistle". That song is so fucking flawless live, I can't stand it.). And bring back some of the old songs. I want to hear "Future Reflections" live, dammit!
I am on this and over reading a post on a certain gossip site about Rashida Jones supposedly "slut shaming". Ugh I won't even get into it again about that term, but damn, I have never seen a group of people get so up in arms about shit as the members over on that site. It's fucking ridiculous. And for some reason, it just reminded me of one time on a really old MGMT post someone called Andrew's ex a "Swedish whore". I am sure they were joking, but....okay. For a site that gets itself so up in arms at the slightest sign of "slut shaming", I am surprised no one dragged the shit out of the member. And uh, again, she isn't even Swedish. Still not quite sure why a whole bunch of people who call themselves big fans wouldn't know that she is Irish.
I also just thought about that Electronic Beats article where Andrew mentioned breaking up with his girlfriend right before a show back in 2010, and I imagine it was her. I don't know, something about that story doesn't sit right with me, especially the whole it was awful and dramatic part. Oh, and the whole take your girlfriend to a foreign country, go to dinner with her the night before, then break up with her the next day part. And right before he was about to go on stage and perform? Really, Andrew? Did your girl become obsolete and you needed to upgrade to a newer model? I hope he had a good fucking excuse to break up with someone like that, because if not, then that is just cruel. Or did he do something bad? I always hear about musicians being cheaters, and unfortunately, no matter how much I think the sun shines out of DAT FOOOOINE BONY ASS, he still is a young white American male with fame and money, so I probably shouldn't be too surprised. But I would hope it's not true. Or that he did something just as bad as cheating. If I ever find out he is an ass to his women, I will be really disappointed, because he seems like he was raised with a good head on his shoulders and to be respectful.
I think it's kind of a pathetic way for someone my age to think, especially about people I never met, but I do genuinely like this group and care about them. They seem like smart, likable, nice boys, albeit a bit awkward, which, if you ask me, makes them all the more endearing. And talented as hell. Even if you don't like their music, you cannot tell me they are not talented.
I finally got Popeye's tonight. And wouldn't you know my taste buds are off due to the monthly bitch? I also finally got a pumpkin pie Blizzard. Huzzah!*
*and I wonder why my digestive system is so bad. JFC.
I think the reason I am feeling so lousy is a combination of allergies and I just got my period. I think that is why I felt so lousy the past couple days. I hate how I feel before it comes. I am so exhausted I can't even stand it. And nauseous as anything. I feel like throwing up. And once again, another week has gone by and I am still 124 pounds on the scale. I would say well, maybe I did just gain weight, but with as bloated as I am, I really think it has something to do with that. And my whole lower left side is hard and slightly more bloated than the right. What on earth is going on in there? And I still keep putting off having this ultrasound done. I could just wait until I get medical in December, but I am tired of putting it off. If they find a cyst or something, though, the temptation to be a smartass and post it to Facebook is going to be too great.
In work, when we are allowed to listen to the radio, we listen to B101. That station is just the worst. And I think they must have a Katy Perry quota to meet every day. I heard five songs by her before noon. Five! It was torturous. They might play a good song here and there, but the majority of the songs are just awful. And Friday was the first time I actually heard that "Blurred Lines" in full. Of course a song like that would be incredibly popular. Horrible. Just horrible.
Most radio stations are awful, but when I do listen to the radio I generally stick with 98.1 (the not so oldies station) or Radio104.5. They play their fair share of shit ("Freshmen" by the Verve, Third Eye Blind and the rest of the frat boy bands, Panic At the Disco, all Fall Out Boy songs except "My Songs"), but they are the only station who plays MGMT. And sure, it's only "Kids" and "Time To Pretend", and for a while there, they played "YLIAL" on the new music show, but I like those songs, so I will always gleefully listen to them when they come on.
You know, somehow I manage to keep forgetting I am going to see them in December. I am slightly dreading it, to be honest. I am extremely stoked about seeing them, but I am really worried about the whole crowd situation. I hope it ends up being good, though. I really wish they would start playing a little more off of the new album. I love "YLIAL", but I am already getting a little tired of it being the one song they always perform. Come on. Play some "A Good Sadness" and "An Orphan of Fortune". And retire some of their old repertoire already (but do not, and I repeat DO NOT, ever retire "Siberian Breaks", "I Found A Whistle", and "Of Moon, Birds, and Monsters". Especially "I Found A Whistle". That song is so fucking flawless live, I can't stand it.). And bring back some of the old songs. I want to hear "Future Reflections" live, dammit!
I am on this and over reading a post on a certain gossip site about Rashida Jones supposedly "slut shaming". Ugh I won't even get into it again about that term, but damn, I have never seen a group of people get so up in arms about shit as the members over on that site. It's fucking ridiculous. And for some reason, it just reminded me of one time on a really old MGMT post someone called Andrew's ex a "Swedish whore". I am sure they were joking, but....okay. For a site that gets itself so up in arms at the slightest sign of "slut shaming", I am surprised no one dragged the shit out of the member. And uh, again, she isn't even Swedish. Still not quite sure why a whole bunch of people who call themselves big fans wouldn't know that she is Irish.
I also just thought about that Electronic Beats article where Andrew mentioned breaking up with his girlfriend right before a show back in 2010, and I imagine it was her. I don't know, something about that story doesn't sit right with me, especially the whole it was awful and dramatic part. Oh, and the whole take your girlfriend to a foreign country, go to dinner with her the night before, then break up with her the next day part. And right before he was about to go on stage and perform? Really, Andrew? Did your girl become obsolete and you needed to upgrade to a newer model? I hope he had a good fucking excuse to break up with someone like that, because if not, then that is just cruel. Or did he do something bad? I always hear about musicians being cheaters, and unfortunately, no matter how much I think the sun shines out of DAT FOOOOINE BONY ASS, he still is a young white American male with fame and money, so I probably shouldn't be too surprised. But I would hope it's not true. Or that he did something just as bad as cheating. If I ever find out he is an ass to his women, I will be really disappointed, because he seems like he was raised with a good head on his shoulders and to be respectful.
I think it's kind of a pathetic way for someone my age to think, especially about people I never met, but I do genuinely like this group and care about them. They seem like smart, likable, nice boys, albeit a bit awkward, which, if you ask me, makes them all the more endearing. And talented as hell. Even if you don't like their music, you cannot tell me they are not talented.
I finally got Popeye's tonight. And wouldn't you know my taste buds are off due to the monthly bitch? I also finally got a pumpkin pie Blizzard. Huzzah!*
*and I wonder why my digestive system is so bad. JFC.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Random Thoughts
Damn, this job is making it hard to post more. I could probably post tons of shit, mainly lengthy rants about work and my coworkers, but I am pretty exhausted when I come home. I type reports pretty much most of the day. Why would I want to type more when I come home? Plus, why would I want to think about work? Coming home and forgetting your work woes isn't easy for someone like me, but I do try really hard. I am not always successful, though.
I guess I am doing okay with my position. My manager says I am, but I am reluctant to believe anything she says. She says I am a good writer, which obviously will not be evidenced on here. I do try to stay grammatically correct on here, but I am a little more laid back and relaxed about making mistakes. And I do make them. I have seen plenty of spelling and grammar mistakes in posts. I see posts where I have skipped words. But when I put my mind to it (which now takes a lot more brain power than it used to), yeah, I can be a fairly decent writer, I suppose.
As for my coworkers.....meh. I try to just go in and leave without much interaction. If anyone thinks I whine a lot (which I do), you haven't seen anything until you've met my coworkers.
I have been annoyed the past two days because I have been moved off of doing my old job and into strictly doing what I was hired to do (don't try to make sense of that). My FWA and another girl have been doing it. And not to sound so damn conceited, but no one can do my old job like me. These girls aren't consistent with naming things. I always gave everything the same title. I also had the habit of scanning things in the same exact order. When I got charts after exams, I always scanned the forms in the same order- photo ID, doctor notes, registration form, lower body exam form, and upper body exam form. If I had to stray off of that pattern, I felt discombobulated. When I see things not in my order in our computer system, I could chew nails.
My God, could you imagine working for me? I'd be a fucking nightmare. Not that I would ever be in a position of management anyway. I'd last all of one hour before I'd be running out the door in tears. I don't handle stress well, in case it wasn't obvious.
On Friday, I came home from work and the internet wasn't working. So my father calls the cable company and while he is on the phone, he is looking at the modem and tells the guy on the phone a light is blinking. I tell him not once, not twice, but three times that the light always blinks, and that it starts blinking as soon as my computer is turned on, e.g. it's supposed to blink. Later on, he has to call back and he tells the guy (another worker) the light is blinking. I get pissed because I already told him three times. He says he just wanted to get another opinion. I got even more pissed, and then he gets pissed off at me. Well, I told you something THREE GODDAMN TIMES. Why was that not good enough? Why could he just not believe what I said? I have been watching that goddamn light blink every damn day I turn my computer on for the last 6 damn years.
I don't understand why any time it comes to computer related stuff, my father tries to act like I have no idea what I am talking about. I know more about computers than he could ever dream of knowing. Back when my beloved Number 2 died, he got pissed off and tried to blame me for it. No. It was a simple hard drive failure, an inevitable fate for computers.
And speaking of annoyance, I am beyond fed up with my digestive system. I don't remember how long it took to straighten out the last time I went back to work, but this is ridiculous. I know it seems like such a minute thing, but some days I feel so horrible from it, I seriously just want to blow my brains out. I don't even want to eat because I feel guilty about everything I put into my body. I think of all of the nasty shit and chemicals in food and cringe.
And speaking of food with nasty shit and chemicals....I need a pumpkin pie Blizzard ASAP.
I guess I am doing okay with my position. My manager says I am, but I am reluctant to believe anything she says. She says I am a good writer, which obviously will not be evidenced on here. I do try to stay grammatically correct on here, but I am a little more laid back and relaxed about making mistakes. And I do make them. I have seen plenty of spelling and grammar mistakes in posts. I see posts where I have skipped words. But when I put my mind to it (which now takes a lot more brain power than it used to), yeah, I can be a fairly decent writer, I suppose.
As for my coworkers.....meh. I try to just go in and leave without much interaction. If anyone thinks I whine a lot (which I do), you haven't seen anything until you've met my coworkers.
I have been annoyed the past two days because I have been moved off of doing my old job and into strictly doing what I was hired to do (don't try to make sense of that). My FWA and another girl have been doing it. And not to sound so damn conceited, but no one can do my old job like me. These girls aren't consistent with naming things. I always gave everything the same title. I also had the habit of scanning things in the same exact order. When I got charts after exams, I always scanned the forms in the same order- photo ID, doctor notes, registration form, lower body exam form, and upper body exam form. If I had to stray off of that pattern, I felt discombobulated. When I see things not in my order in our computer system, I could chew nails.
My God, could you imagine working for me? I'd be a fucking nightmare. Not that I would ever be in a position of management anyway. I'd last all of one hour before I'd be running out the door in tears. I don't handle stress well, in case it wasn't obvious.
On Friday, I came home from work and the internet wasn't working. So my father calls the cable company and while he is on the phone, he is looking at the modem and tells the guy on the phone a light is blinking. I tell him not once, not twice, but three times that the light always blinks, and that it starts blinking as soon as my computer is turned on, e.g. it's supposed to blink. Later on, he has to call back and he tells the guy (another worker) the light is blinking. I get pissed because I already told him three times. He says he just wanted to get another opinion. I got even more pissed, and then he gets pissed off at me. Well, I told you something THREE GODDAMN TIMES. Why was that not good enough? Why could he just not believe what I said? I have been watching that goddamn light blink every damn day I turn my computer on for the last 6 damn years.
I don't understand why any time it comes to computer related stuff, my father tries to act like I have no idea what I am talking about. I know more about computers than he could ever dream of knowing. Back when my beloved Number 2 died, he got pissed off and tried to blame me for it. No. It was a simple hard drive failure, an inevitable fate for computers.
And speaking of annoyance, I am beyond fed up with my digestive system. I don't remember how long it took to straighten out the last time I went back to work, but this is ridiculous. I know it seems like such a minute thing, but some days I feel so horrible from it, I seriously just want to blow my brains out. I don't even want to eat because I feel guilty about everything I put into my body. I think of all of the nasty shit and chemicals in food and cringe.
And speaking of food with nasty shit and chemicals....I need a pumpkin pie Blizzard ASAP.
Sunday, October 13, 2013
WANT
I just realized yesterday was this boring ass blog's 5th birthday. Holy shit. And tomorrow is 2 years since I was laid off. Who would have thought I would have ended up back there? I was really starting to think I was never going to find a job again. I never would have imagined I would end up back at my old workplace.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
Tweet Of The Day
Watched a sex scene in a theatre that was like 15 min long but felt like an hour,it was so awkward&quiet and I've never had to laugh so much
— Nanna (@nannabh89) October 7, 2013
The Moronic Comment Of The Day
The comment by Gabrielle Reiffel Wise:
EDY'S® Ice Cream - Slow Churned
You buy ice cream that has peanut butter cups and peanut butter swirls and you need a peanut allergy warning? Really? JFC. And I won't even touch the comment in response.
And because it is Who Cares About Women's Lives Just Care About Their Boobs Awareness Month, I noticed a lot of the time when someone makes a negative comment about it, one of the big arguments is always something along the lines of "well, have you ever watched someone die of breast cancer, it's horrible". Like dying of other cancers isn't awful?
EDY'S® Ice Cream - Slow Churned
You buy ice cream that has peanut butter cups and peanut butter swirls and you need a peanut allergy warning? Really? JFC. And I won't even touch the comment in response.
And because it is Who Cares About Women's Lives Just Care About Their Boobs Awareness Month, I noticed a lot of the time when someone makes a negative comment about it, one of the big arguments is always something along the lines of "well, have you ever watched someone die of breast cancer, it's horrible". Like dying of other cancers isn't awful?
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Requisite MGMT Post/Song Of The Day
It's been nearly 2 weeks since I last discussed them. Dammit, this job is drastically interfering with my stanning! Unacceptable!
I was reading reviews of their performances on the Ticketmaster webpage and damn, some people were harsh. A big complaint I saw, and a lot of times on other sites, is they don't interact with the audience much. I thought Andrew talked A LOT at Musikfest. James talked a few times, but no one else did. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if they don't interact a lot, but I don't think they do it to be assholes. Or maybe they are, who knows? But I always took them, especially Andrew, to just be really, really awkward. Well, maybe not James. He seems like kind of a loudmouth.
Not that it would ever happen, but if I ever got the chance to meet Andrew, I would probably just gape at the poor guy, then I would throw my sweatshirt over my face (I am always so cold that no matter what the season, chances are I have a zip-up hoodie on) and bolt like a bat out of hell. Or I would behave like Mr. Krabs when he meets Mrs. Puff.
Also, did that Hank dude officially rejoin the band or what? I know he was filling in on guitar when Andrew couldn't play, but the King is back on guitar and Hank is still playing with them. He is in the promo picture on the Electric Factory page (please tell me I am not the only one who looked at that picture and had to think for a moment which one was Will and which one was Andrew; why do they look so much alike anymore?). He doesn't fit in. He doesn't have curly hair.
And now for the Song of the Day...."And if I don't feel right...."
I downloaded the optimizer and was watching "A Good Sadness" and those definitely look like flying hot dogs. Also, I am pretty sure there may be some flying bacon as well:
I was reading reviews of their performances on the Ticketmaster webpage and damn, some people were harsh. A big complaint I saw, and a lot of times on other sites, is they don't interact with the audience much. I thought Andrew talked A LOT at Musikfest. James talked a few times, but no one else did. It honestly wouldn't surprise me if they don't interact a lot, but I don't think they do it to be assholes. Or maybe they are, who knows? But I always took them, especially Andrew, to just be really, really awkward. Well, maybe not James. He seems like kind of a loudmouth.
Not that it would ever happen, but if I ever got the chance to meet Andrew, I would probably just gape at the poor guy, then I would throw my sweatshirt over my face (I am always so cold that no matter what the season, chances are I have a zip-up hoodie on) and bolt like a bat out of hell. Or I would behave like Mr. Krabs when he meets Mrs. Puff.
Also, did that Hank dude officially rejoin the band or what? I know he was filling in on guitar when Andrew couldn't play, but the King is back on guitar and Hank is still playing with them. He is in the promo picture on the Electric Factory page (please tell me I am not the only one who looked at that picture and had to think for a moment which one was Will and which one was Andrew; why do they look so much alike anymore?). He doesn't fit in. He doesn't have curly hair.
And now for the Song of the Day...."And if I don't feel right...."
I downloaded the optimizer and was watching "A Good Sadness" and those definitely look like flying hot dogs. Also, I am pretty sure there may be some flying bacon as well:
Article Of The Day
4 Things No One Tells You About Having OCD
Perfect article is perfect. Each and every section hit the nail on the head. And that picture of Katy Perry at the end makes me want to round-house kick someone in the head.
Also, someone asked in the comments what did hypochondriacs do before WebMD. Easy- medical books and encyclopedias. It was a little different, because you did not enter in symptoms and get a list of possible diagnoses, but I spent a lot of time with my nose in medical books and looking up diseases and the like in encyclopedias. I was always diagnosing myself with shit. Or scaring myself that I was going to get something. I don't remember specifically what diseases, although I do recall being terrified of developing polio when I was younger (never mind that I had the polio vaccine). I remember reading about children contracting it from swimming pools. I did not want to go near swimming pools after that. Fucking polio, man. To this day, that disease still scares the shit out of me. And I still continue to be afraid of it because of those goddamn anti-vaccers out there. I swear, if a vaccine-resistant strain of polio pops up, I am officially becoming a hermit.
I also remember when I was younger, maybe about 7 years of age, someone telling me that when you are going to die, the lifeline on your hand gets shorter. I studied my hand every single day, several times a day, watching for signs of it shortening. If I saw any indication of it being shorter, I would get very upset. I never actually realized that my obsessive thinking started that young.
Perfect article is perfect. Each and every section hit the nail on the head. And that picture of Katy Perry at the end makes me want to round-house kick someone in the head.
Also, someone asked in the comments what did hypochondriacs do before WebMD. Easy- medical books and encyclopedias. It was a little different, because you did not enter in symptoms and get a list of possible diagnoses, but I spent a lot of time with my nose in medical books and looking up diseases and the like in encyclopedias. I was always diagnosing myself with shit. Or scaring myself that I was going to get something. I don't remember specifically what diseases, although I do recall being terrified of developing polio when I was younger (never mind that I had the polio vaccine). I remember reading about children contracting it from swimming pools. I did not want to go near swimming pools after that. Fucking polio, man. To this day, that disease still scares the shit out of me. And I still continue to be afraid of it because of those goddamn anti-vaccers out there. I swear, if a vaccine-resistant strain of polio pops up, I am officially becoming a hermit.
I also remember when I was younger, maybe about 7 years of age, someone telling me that when you are going to die, the lifeline on your hand gets shorter. I studied my hand every single day, several times a day, watching for signs of it shortening. If I saw any indication of it being shorter, I would get very upset. I never actually realized that my obsessive thinking started that young.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
I'm Gonna Need A Bigger Handbasket
On Video: Blind man beaten in Germantown, suspect sought
Seymour Street....oh my god, I can't. I am a terrible person. Not as terrible as the suspect, though. Or the people who stood around and done nothing. Look, I can understand being afraid that you may risk your life trying to help, but for the love of God, even if you don't directly help, at least call the cops or something! I'm surprised someone wasn't standing around filming the beating with their Smartphone. That seems to be such a big thing nowadays. Ooo, look someone is getting beat half to death, better whip out my phone and record it so I can post it on Youtube lulz.
Seymour Street....oh my god, I can't. I am a terrible person. Not as terrible as the suspect, though. Or the people who stood around and done nothing. Look, I can understand being afraid that you may risk your life trying to help, but for the love of God, even if you don't directly help, at least call the cops or something! I'm surprised someone wasn't standing around filming the beating with their Smartphone. That seems to be such a big thing nowadays. Ooo, look someone is getting beat half to death, better whip out my phone and record it so I can post it on Youtube lulz.
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